♠️🐘💭🔮 She/they 💖💜💙

"Yet as the blades clashed - one glowing blue like the clear morning sky, whilst the other was glowing a deep red, like the fires of hell - one couldn't help but wonder ... Which one of them was the demon, and which one was the angel" - TheUsagi1995

[pinkgiraffe1604]

Is it just me who thinks they’re childhood wasn’t bad enough to be classed as abusive (I was never hit) but when I tell stories about things that happened to my boyfriend he is shocked and says it’s not normal?

[pinkgiraffe1604]

For someone with autism who is supposed to like routine, I actually love coming to my older sisters house to stay for a few days. Don’t get me wrong hours and hours unstructured is sometimes annoying but I love not feeling like I have to tiptoe around. I said to her last time I came “It’s nice to be around people who don’t make it seem hard to accommodate me”. I mean I’m 17 and pay my mom about half of my disability allowance a month because ‘I make her mental health shit so I have to give her money so she can buy things to make her happy’. (Her words not mine)

Like rn I’m awake and it’s 4am, which isn’t as common at home but is a semi common thing cause of my insomnia, and at home I would have to lie silently in bed. Here I literally just went to the toilet and am now eating leftovers from yesterday as breakfast because I know it won’t start a screaming match or a lecture about how my life is going to turn out shit and it will be my fault.

I don’t feel like such a burden here

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking advantage of that fact and just doing what I want. I’m being considerate and trying to be quiet, I mean I sleep like opposite the fridge and the toilet is on my left so it’s not like I’m going up and down stairs and making a load of noise. I just know, if I did accidentally drop something and wake them (her and her boyfriend) up it would be a “You ok?” text not a “what the fuck is wrong with you” one.

[pinkgiraffe1604]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B077F9YCY9?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_HAPFPG9MNT7FGWCSW1VD

This product is amazing. I know it’s a bit pricey but I’m a quite wide 5’5 person and can sit cross legged in this and if I curl into a ball can even lie in it! Helps calm sensory overload and anxiety although I do recommend a blanket for in the bottom as I don’t really like the material other than that 5 stars

Child's Dark Den, Sensory pod, Special Needs, Autism, ADHD, ASD, Dark Tent : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

[pinkgiraffe1604]

Anyone have any tips for staying somewhere overnight for the first time?

[pinkgiraffe1604]

Really need to vocal stim rn but everyone in my house is asleep

[pinkgiraffe1604]

I asked my boyfriend if he has any plans for his birthday (today) and he said no

So I got dressed up and did my makeup to surprise him with playing overwatch (we’re long distance rn so it’s not like I can show up to his house to surprise him)

He hasn’t messaged me back for a few hours so I’m kinda disappointed that I made a lot of effort to put something together for him and he’s not available

But it’s my fault for not asking him and deciding to surprise him

[pinkgiraffe1604]

I feel like I’m on the edge of a meltdown

Any tips to help me?

[pinkgiraffe1604]

Am I the only person who has a stim playlist - like music that makes me stim or I can stim to?

[pinkgiraffe1604]

I keep telling my mom that I’m going through autistic burnout. That existing is hard. That i can’t function. That I need everything to just stand still for a bit. And it’s like she’s not listening. She’s like it happens to all of us, you just have to push through it. How can I make her see that I can’t just keep going I need a break?

[pinkgiraffe1604]

So maybe I’m asexual … I’m biromantic asexual. That feels right

[pinkgiraffe1604]

Anyone have a friendly Minecraft smp that I can join?

[pinkgiraffe1604]

I wish I had friends to play overwatch with

[pinkgiraffe1604]

The best song

[pinkgiraffe1604]

Does anyone have tips for dealing with internalized ablism?

I’ve known my boyfriend since before I got my diagnosis and since then (and since we started dating) I’ve only seen him a handful of times (thank you pandemic and agoraphobia). I’m really worried about acting ‘too autistic’ infront of him and him thinking I’m weird. I find it really hard to mask after a major burnout I had a few years ago to the point where in most situations it is almost impossible. I was just wondering if anyone had advice on how to be more comfortable in my autistic behaviours and actions, the way I exist really. Btw he does know I’m autistic

[pinkgiraffe1604]

So I had a meltdown today and I’m still not feeling great and my mom just came in my room and stole my favourite stuffed animal before throwing it back to me.

DONT TOUCH PEOPLES COMFORT ITEMS WITHOUT CONSENT

[pinkgiraffe1604]

I’m looking for friends!

Message me or like this and I’ll message you!

I’m 17, female, I like writing and reading. Oh and I’m autistic

[pinkgiraffe1604]

Can anxiety fuck off and stop taking control of me