Musings of an Ex-Expat

[jessdrawzstuffz]

when your bestie wants in on the selfie:

ash: hey johnny wanna take a selfie??

johnny: yea sure

nooshy: couNT ME IN—

[plantaeee]

Fordite, also known as Detroit agate, is old automobile paint which has hardened sufficiently to be cut and polished. It was formed from the built up of layers of enamel paint slag on tracks and skids on which cars were hand spray-painted (a now automated process), which have been baked numerous times.

[pinkjulip]

This... is honestly how I’ve been feeling as of late. I’m in a situation where my fiance makes A LOT more money than I do... and normally , that really wouldn’t bother me except that... I’m hardly able to make dents in my own debt let alone start helping him save for our wedding and future house. Also, his current job won’t last forever and in a handful of years we’ll likely be in the same boat.  When I lived abroad, I was making roughly 31k a year. Not a whole lot but more than enough to feel like I had no troubles. For whatever reason though, I never saved money. I was spending it as fast as I was earning it. And damn do I regret that now.  In the 2 years that I’ve been back in the states, I’ve moved in with my Ex in a state I wasn’t native to, was confronted with the issue of “experience not equaling a Masters”, broke up with said Ex and moved back to my home state, started the job hunt yet again, and found new love.  Now the jobs that I have now (3 of them) I actually quite enjoy. I work part-part time at two libraries and work unboxing freight at a store in the mornings before going to the libraries. If I went full time into the unboxing job, I’d probably make enough to do more than take tiny chips out of my debt. But here’s the rub. I. LOVE. WORKING. AT. THE. LIBRARY. <3

i 100% enjoy going to work every day. I get to be surrounded by books and really interesting people. The main issue is that... they pay peanuts. That’s why most of the clerk staff is made up of kids in high school or college or who are retired. I’m one of the exceptions. When I was hired, I was told that they may be adding a night time manager and that they hire from the inside. And boy, did I fall for that bate. IT’s been over a year and still no position.  So now I find myself at a crossroads. I don’t hate my job, but it also doesn’t pay enough. I could get a job that pays more and has benefits and would allow me contribute more financially to my relationship and pay off my debts... but I worry that it will cost me my soul.  I can’t stop this nagging feeling that I’m SUPPOSED to be doing something I love... but that I can actually make a living at.... and I’m not talking a lot... like 20-25k a year would be great. Every time I try to wedge my way further into the library, that “Masters Needed” door gets slammed in my face and when I consider going back to school , the logical side of my brain tells me that taking on that kind of extra debt would be irresponsible at this juncture in my life (what with a wedding and kids very possible in the next 5 years on top of how long it would take for me to actually score a job with a Library Sciences degree) So i’m left here.... wanting to do just MORE.... but having NO CLUE as to what “more” even is. And I know I can’t be the only one. I know I’m not the only one who has ever gone through something like this.  So how do you handle this sudden, nagging feeling? How do you at 30, with little money to your name, but experience in a handful of different fields.... start anew?  Find your path?  I’m still working on the answer... and I’m not stopping until I do. 

[stylelistics-deactivated2020031]

[pinkjulip]

always

[pinkjulip]

I’m a bit of an information hoarder.  When I get an idea in my brain, instead of jumping into the unknown and hoping for the best, I research. And research.  And think it over... and research some more.  I could practically teach a mini crash course in whatever it is that I’d wanted to do by the time I’m done.... With one major exception: I’ve never *actually* done any of it.  I can give you all kinds of tips on eating right, the best types of exercises for the kind of body you want, turning your hobby into a business, going after a dream, sales, early literacy, acquiring a second language, .... reaching a goal.....  But I’ve done very few of these myself.  And I KNOW I’m  not the only one.  I KNOW that there are others out there JUST. LIKE. ME.

People that are sitting there, after reading books and sites and blogs to gather information so that they can make the most educated start towards their goal, but instead.... are at a standstill.  People who are OVERWHELMED with the amount of information that they’ve just acquired.... and have no effing clue how to USE it.  This is something I’m aiming to change in myself. I’ve started setting deadlines for myself... that I have to do, REGARDLESS of how ready I feel for them.  “A goal without a deadline is just a dream” Well I’m sick and tired of having ONLY DREAMS.  No, I don’t hate my life by any means but I’m not exactly happy with my financial situation...  So it’s time to actually DO something with all of the information that I’ve gathered and accomplish some GOALS instead of imagining DREAMS.   

[pinkjulip]

I’m reading a book called “Ditch Your Average Job, Start an Epic Business, and Score the Life You Want” by Daniel Dipiazza (founder of rich20something.com) When you read self-help books (much like when you read your horoscope) it’s easy to draw connections to things and be like “OMG That’s soooo me!” But this book is really resonating with me so far. There have been a lot of times where I thought I could do something as either a full business or as a side hustle and.... I always seem to come up short... despite feeling like I’d put in maximum effort. 

I research, I get books, I go on Pinterest to get ideas, I ask for people’s input and advice.... but I never DO anything.  This quote in particular really sums up how I felt during my last business venture (Beach Body Coach)  I had charts, journals, apps, you NAME it... set up to help me rock that business. I had tons of pod casts on constant rotation trying to glean any kind of insight and advice that I could.... but I never ACTED on it. I never do... for some reason.  Now, I don’t hate my current jobs (I work at two libraries) on the contrary, I really love them... I just wish they paid more. So I’m finally gonna give the side hustle thing a try. I’m giving myself 2-3 weeks to get my Etsy shop set up and have a few things posted for sale.  Time to stop PLANNING and start DOING

[pinkjulip]

You don't have to pass through point B to go from A to C

Daniel Dipiazza

[pinkjulip]

Isn’t it funny how there always seems to be someone in your house that’s unaware that there is a shit-ton of stuff to be done before Xmas and instead sits around/suggests going out and doing something Xmas Eve? We were supposed to see the Star Wars movie but decided to wait until *after* Xmas so that we could go as a family. Two days later, on the 24th:

Mom: (rushing around to get baking finished and clean for Xmas) What are you doing today?

Dad: I didn’t know last night, so same answer.

Mom: Well, your son is back so I didn’t know if that changed your answer.

Dad: Not really.... We thought that if Uncle J and Aunt T weren’t interested in the movie we might go see it today.

Mom: *insert above gif* You can’t be serious....

We said AFTER Christmas..... not the flippin day before. *facepalm*

[pinkjulip]

Money Money Money

Ugg..... sooo I thought I was saving myself month next month... and I guess, in a way, I am. HOWEVER!!! I’m subletting a new apartment and they need the first months rent and deposit money all at once.... which is normal.... but I have about $899 in my bank account right now.... and the total for those two things is $875..... Put on top of that that I have to pay my health insurance (about $65) and we’re up to $940.... sooo I’m missing about $41 dollars. I’m currently on vacation and when I get back, I’ll have one day of work before the restaurant I work at CLOSES FOR 10 DAYS (boss is going on a vacation and taking half the staff with him... sooo yeah) up shit creek without a paddle I suppose... if I can pay my health bill with my credit card, I’ll be golden.... if not, I’m fucked.

[pinkjulip]

Travel

So I’m on my way home for the holidays.... it’s a little bitter-sweet. My boy was supposed to come with me and we were going to drive.... but at the last moment, he backed out and we went through some stuff. Long story short, we worked it out and now I’m flying. 

The shitty part is that, I accidentally booked my flight home for the wrong day..... soooo I had to shell out an extra $167 for a ticket and now also $50 to check a bag so that I can take and get gifts home. But I’m not bitter... really I’m not..... Maybe a little lol. More than anything, I still wish he was coming with me. I was really looking forward to him spending the holidays with us. 

Because I didn’t want to pay another $200 on top of everything, I’m flying out of Chicago..... I was supposed to leave yesterday (sunday) but switched it to monday so that I’d arrive 15 minutes after my brother (planning win!!!) It’s about a 2 hour drive to Chicago and my flight left at 3 so we wanted to leave plenty of time for horrible Chicago traffic as well as the inevitable security line that I’d have to stand in. 

We made great time and I arrived just before 1, said good-bye to my L-Bear and ..... was greeted with practically NO line. I was checked in, had my bags taken, and through security in 18 minutes. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’d rather be here 2 hours early and sit then cut it too close.... but this meant I missed out on potential sexy-time/lunch that could have happened before I went on this 9 day vacation..... and that’s enough to bum any girl out. 

[pinkjulip]

Money Money Money

I think that this time of year, everyone is looking for a little bit of extra cash to make the holidays a little less... well... daunting. When I came back from Japan, I was temporarily living with the parentals for a few months before I moved on to Wisconsin, and I didn’t want to apply to a job that I’d just have to leave shortly after getting trained. I’ve been looking A LOT at work from home jobs and, while they seem like they could work, I’ve yet to go through with any of them. 

I did start one of those silly survey things, but as to be expected, I don’t qualify for half the surveys and, in order to get the tokens I need to get gift cards and get “paid”, you have to *complete* the survey all the way through. So.... yeah, probably gonna stop that one pretty soon

The one option that’s always been really appealing to me was selling things on eBay or Amazon that you’d get either really cheap at a retail store or, even better, were thrift store or garage sale finds. I absolutely LOVE going to thrift stores and to yard sales. My family goes to a large flea market every week in summer. I’m at the point in my life right now that my two part time jobs aren’t paying the bills.... and there are lots of bills.... so I’m gonna read more about what things seem to sell and Amazon FBA Inventory and hopefully have some successful stories to post here.

[pinkjulip]

Waitress Problems

If you go out of your way to ask for and make sure I give you a lemon in your water, then use it. Don't make me cut up lemons for you just because you wanted your glass to look pretty...

[pinkjulip]

Finally Taking the Plunge

Not marriage.... sadly. But finally getting one of these Tumbler pages. So many of my friends have one and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to get sucked into this world.... but here I am. 

I felt the urge to start up some kind of blog... but the last blog I had was my LiveJournal account (gosh that really dates me, huh?) I wanted something that would be fun as well as be somewhere that people might stumble upon it. Not gonna lie, I like to hear myself talk haha so, while I often keep a journal for myself, it’d be nice to have someone else read it too. 

So just in case, a little about me.  I’m PinkJulip and I currently live in Wisconsin. I’m originally from Pittsburgh, PA and I’ve spent the last 4 years working and living abroad in Kawasaki, Japan. BEST 4 years of my life, by far!! I’m sure I’ll write about Japan a lot on here haha. Anyway, since moving back, work has been scarce and I’m back to waitressing as well as doing some work with Early Literacy at my local library. My hope is to go back for my MA in TESL so that I can continue the work that I was doing in Japan, here in the US. As far as things that I love to do, I love food!! and I love crafting. I’m big into crochet and I’ve just started cross-stitching. Next is polymer clay!! I also love reading, exercise (though that’s been a little lax recently), and anything to do with Japan. 

soooo, yeah.

yoroshiku (*^^)v