Beginnings, Middles And Ends

Just a person, a girl, wandering the world with random thoughts, inspirations and desires.

[pinkpaisley88]

One day

One day I’ll stand tall and face you

One day I’ll stare into your eyes

I’ll tell you how much I hate you.

How much you disgust me.

But I’m not there today.

However until then, I’ll just let it burn inside of me.

[pinkpaisley88]

When the demons call everyone says reach out.

Then you do...

The answer is silence.

Why bother offering if you aren’t there?

The demons scream

“Worthless” “better off without you” “meaningless”

The words echo.

You reach, scream, cry.

Every time unanswered.

People respond after,

“Why didn’t you call?”

“Why didn’t you come over?”

I did.

Silence was the answer.

Silence is all I wanted, just not from you.

I wanted the demons silenced.

I wanted you to answer.

I wanted you to care.

Again silence fills the air between.

But now where do I go?

What do I do?

I sit in silence waiting for the answer,

Missing the demons,

Wishing for the noise.

Only to be greeted with silence.

[pinkpaisley88]

Random thoughts

So tonight I’ll let the alcohol release all the emotions tucked away.

I’ll let the alcohol deep into my soul in all the ways I’ve been afraid to do before.

I’ll let the emotions roar, and consume my body.

But in the end, I’m only doing this to let myself heal.

[pinkpaisley88]

Without notice, my life turned upside down. I thought I had it all. However, the truth is I had nothing from the beginning.

[pinkpaisley88]

Giving up isn’t always what you want. Sometimes, giving up is what you need. That’s the hard part.: Denying what you heart wants, for what you really need.

[pinkpaisley88]

Tonight, I just don’t want to feel so alone. Tonight, I just need you by my side. Tonight, I need you more than ever before. Just stay. Stay for tonight.

[pinkpaisley88]

One day

One day I won't have to lie anymore.

One day I won't have to hide.

One day everyone will see the truth.

One day all my cries will be mute.

And on that day I'll take my last breath,

because that day will my death.

[pinkpaisley88]

Frustrations

I’m slower to anger these days but quicker to hurt. Everything feels like a dream; a dream I can’t wake up from. It doesn’t matter though. This my life.

Rather, this is what is left of my life.

I thought I made all the right choices but clearly I didn’t. I thought I had it all planned out but I didn’t. I thought everything was going go my way, but clearly it didn’t.

Sometimes it seems like no matter what you try, how you plan, or how hard you work, you always end up right back where you started.

Alone.

Hurt.

And Defeated.

[pinkpaisley88]

Tomorrow I’ll see it differently,

But tonight I want to see it how it really is.

I want to see the truth.

I want to feel the pain.

I want to know what’s real.

Tomorrow I’ll return,

To live this fantasy.

But tonight, just leave me to this pain.

[pinkpaisley88]

Hate

Hatred consumed my soul again. Never in my life did I think he would do this to me again. But here we are. Two people apart. One burning with hate, the other with love. The fight will only be won by one of us. Sadly, he underestimates the amount of disdain I have.

[kissmyshattered-deactivated2021]

“Truth is, I’m just not in love with you no more. There’s no hate in my heart, no hard feelings or anger. I just woke up today and realized that we will never have what we once had, and, for the first time since I met you, that felt okay.”

- I don’t love you

[pinkpaisley88]

Time demolished.

Stranded in between,

A life once lived,

A love once lost.

Destined to be,

Yet, years apart.

A shattered heart,

Barely beating, on a restless night

[pinkpaisley88]

And so the story goes...

She tried to carry his burden,

He loved her through it all.

Her love ran through his blood,

His dedication through hers.

Shared in deception

They both believed,

The love they shared would succeed

[pinkpaisley88]

Previously

I use to think I was a good judge of character. Boy, was I wrong.

[pinkpaisley88]

Working on holiday cards

[pinkpaisley88]

Don't mind the dirt. This guy stayed by my door for the entire day

[pinkpaisley88]

Fly

She will fly.

Rising from the ashes where you thought she died,

She will fly.

Soaring high and leaving it all behind, 

She will fly. 

Coasting with the wind beneath her,

She will fly.

Gliding across the sky a smile on her face,

She will fly. 

Skimming the sea with a touch of her wing,

She will fly.

Dreaming with stars in her eyes, 

She will fly.

Sailing around all your lies, 

She will fly.

She will rise, and she will fly.