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@pittbangs
WE'RE HEALERS, NOT JUDGES / #PITTBANGS. an independent dr. cassandra " cassie " mckay from hbo's the pitt.
prose-heavy, multi-verse, multi-ship, panfandom, & oc-friendly. written by bucku, 30+. engages with writers 21+ only. under co. rules under the cut.
pitt crew: @s4nsfrontieres @pittbroke @mctrouble
memes. / headcanons.
short meme replies for fun
@pittbangs sent: ❛ I'd say we make a pretty good team."
"yeah." trinity's tone is soft, like there's a hint of surprise to it. Harrison and his friend are asleep after their first sleepover, which had involved a lot of trinity keeping them entertained while cassie made chicken fingers and spaghetti. the house is quiet now. peaceful. and the odd feeling that was there when she'd offer to come help cassie with this after their shift returns. something a little weightier than usual. "who knew kids would find me that exciting."
" kids are pretty honest. " cassie finishes swiping a cloth across the counter top, working away the last vestiges of ketchup & marinara. she tosses a weary-wry smile over her shoulder at trinity, fondness creasing the corners of her eyes.
" pre-teens are even harder to impress. last week, harrison put me on blast because i didn't know what no cap meant. " she folds the towel over the faucet, palm squeezing gently at the other woman's arm. it's just shy of intimate. " i thought i was doing enough by having a tiktok account, but there's something new every week. "
" dr. al-hashimi ( @s4nsfrontieres )! " daylight casts a different shade than fluorescent hospital bulbs. gone, too, is the tumescent pallor that sets in after twelve hours on shift. out here, cassie has a wide-shot smile, both dimples on display, hair down in cinnabar waves tumbled just past her shoulders. she rocks back with her bag over one shoulder in happy surprise.
" i didn't expect to see you here. "
harrison has a baseball tournament & the diamonds till with family & friends. games ranging from tee-ball to just shy of high school ball fill the fields with cracking bats & happy cheers. cassie idly wonders which of them baran will be joining. or if she's here alone.
" it's funny seeing each other out of scrubs, " she says, almost without registering that it weren't so objectively true that it might be offensive. she, herself, feels a far cry from the messy flagging braid & worn features she's sported at the end of her last night on duty, reinvigorated by some decent sleep & a nice day outside. " i almost didn't recognize you. " a thumb jerks back to the concessions stand. " wanna grab a hot dog? "
some headcanons for my portrayal:
cassie has red hair naturally. even in s2/s3 threads, i will reference her as having auburn/red hair.
cassie married chad in her late 20s. they were both using at the time. cassie had a harder time getting clean, was deeper in throes of addiction, which led to her briefly losing custody of harrison and a temporary split with chad.
she became sober because of harrison. she notes in season 1 that she is 9 years, 5 months sober. harrison is 11 at the time. as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she made several attempts at recovery, but struggled and relapsed. after losing custody, she had several periods where she was able to stay sober for months, suffered relapses again, before entering recovery and staying sober until present day. note: cassie's sobriety is very important to my portrayal. unless it breaks on screen ( or is referenced to have done so ), she will be sober in our threads ( inclusive of all substances and alcohol ). this doesn't mean she never struggles with staying sober.
she's been divorced from chad since her second year of med school. they stopped being compatible -- even though chad stepped up when harrison was born, he refused to mature with their relationship.
she was arrested and subsequently put on probation with the ankle monitor after an altercation with chloe that actually was a big misunderstanding. they were arguing over harrison's backpack and each had a strap. cassie let go, chloe fell, and the bag hit her and she hit her head. because of cassie's history and ( admittedly ) several threats or suggestions of violence toward chloe during verbal arguments, the claim of battery was found to be valid and cassie's custody was temporarily cut back to every other weekend.
she is bisexual and has recognized that for the majority of her adult life.
cassie has been unhoused. she has not explicitly engaged in sex work, but has been close to friends who have and often considered it as an option when she was struggling for money.
she likes punk rock and alt music. her favorite band is joy division.
the aviator nation hoodie is stolen/rescued from @pittbroke's closet in verses where they have an intimate connection.
"i could help with that." cue the comical eyebrow wiggling.
" ---- you sure about that? we might have a case of lost cause over here. "
Noah Wyle as Dr. Michael Robinavitch and Fiona Dourif as Dr. Cassie McKay The Pitt | 10:00 A.M.
@pittbroke
@pittbangs: ‘ i lost her. that's what happened. ’ for abbot ( "sacred and terrible air" prompts; accepting )
been a long day for all of them, but while he's had the privilege of a full two-hour nap before starting his shift tonight, she's been on her feet for closer to twelve. looks the part.
the fatigue's fuel to rumination, of course. and remorse makes for highly effective tinder. he's been there.
❝ or maybe what happened is that you helped her go. ❞ he's trying not to stare into where her self-reproach burns the brightest, instead offering his sympathy from off to the side. from what he's gathered, which is admittedly little, it's been one of those cases where the outcome's set in stone from the start.
by all rights, he should be an expert in handling loss by now.
instead he's surprised to find he's envious, and so his gaze ends up scattering across the hallway. never did figure out whether speaking to liam one last time would've helped anything at all. ❝ got the chance to say her goodbyes. that counts for a lot. ❞
" it won't make them miss her less. " the day's hanging into her by now, heavy in her undereyes & inviting gravity's crude pull into even her elbows. she's holding herself together with both arms swathed around herself. it's been the sort of shift that makes her want to disappear into the drowning, comforting fabric of that washer-softened hoodie. still, he's right. a minimal tip of her chin is, after today, a ponderous gesture. " but maybe they'll hold those last minutes with them. "
roxie's weariness, the blue staining around her mouth, the desperation for any kind of respite ...
it's weighing on her, too.
she'd been across the street when roxie had slipped quietly away. cassie hopes that she'd offered some relief to make it easier, even if by a shred. her palm smoothes under her sleeve, along the bare skin of her forearm to search for a method of grounding.
almost wistfully, " it still doesn't feel like enough. "
INCOMING: 🤒 your muse to find that my muse is sick and refusing to rest
it’s an inevitable thing really, getting cornered by @pittbangs. he’s spent the last few hours of this ‘accidental’ overtime successfully avoiding being cornered alone with the day shift resident. partially through luck. traumas brought in, other residents presenting their cases and asking for opinions. partially through skill. a well known fact about doctor jack abbot is he’s always aware of the moving pieces in the department, even when he is not at the helm of their struggling ship. hard to pin down if he doesn’t want to be. most people would leave him be after several failed attempts. one of his and mckay's overlapping qualities seems to be a certain relentlessness and obligation to act on their observations, much to jack’s annoyance. and robby’s delight, he’s sure. ( he can almost hear the gleeful ‘taste of your own medicine’ remark the man would enjoy leveling at him ).
cornered because he’s been too slow in shedding his ppe, unable to retreat back to his preferred charting station at the hub ( where discretion was all but impossible given the proximity to certain nurses ) before she’s there. he'd almost laugh at the fact he can tell she was waiting for this exact opportunity if it weren't for the headache threatening to split his skull in two. he tries to ignore the ringing in his ears that has yet to fully subside, and the way the brightness of the unyielding overhead lights leave him feeling nauseous as he lifts his gaze from the floor to glance at her.
“you got a case to present?” deliberate ignorance. he hates when robby does this to him, but there’s the distant hope that it’ll be effective against mckay. he finishes stripping off the gown and moves to dispose of it, movements stiff from the whole body ache that’s been plaguing him since midshift last night. his usual post shift unsteadiness on his feet feels even more pronounced as he limps walks towards the hand sanitizer. “talk fast.”
" actually, yeah. " a crackled laugh sloughs off from where she's wedged in front of him. the white sheeting of her own trauma gown, marked dark with splattered caches of red, is already in the hazard bin, goggles discarded. the homey slouch of her on-shift hoodie dangles from the cradle of her arms, where she's lacing one elbow over the other. the deflecting nature of his question kicks both her brows up, dislodges a ruffled scoff. & the way she's looking at him mingles earnest concern with the kind of skepticism doubly earned from both skirting boundaries & maternally enforcing them.
cassie mckay is in confrontation mode.
she's been tracking him all day to the point where she's now acutely aware of his impressive skill at evasive maneuvers. but the department's been bustling as usual, no shortage of emergencies bursting through the ambulance bay or complexities trickling their way in via chairs to be seen or supervised. each time she'd captured even a flash of his silver sanded hair turning the corner, he'd been gone by the time she'd whisked herself free.
but, finally -----
she casts a glance back at the doorway, ponytail sweeping copper over the black back collar of her scrubs, sure to catalogue the team's departure before she continues. they're happily going through the details, recounting the survey, congratulating themselves on such a job well done that they won't overhear a word she's saying.
" male patient. late 40s to early 50s. " the pointed double prong of her sharp blue eyes bores into him ( not without a hint of amusement flickering among the cobalt ). ducking her head in toward him, she continues. " sensitive to light, looks exhausted. resistant to evaluation. "
the assessment lands, squarely, between them. she looks at him, expression an unflappable wire trap.
" -------- ring any bells? "
chewing their bottom lip, sam glanced back at the closed door. it was always tough trying to explain the truth hiding under humanity’s bed, let alone to a fellow doctor. they had half a mind to try calling their brother, but the thought of the winchester family coming to pittsburgh was far worse than trying to explain to an "evidence-based practitioner" that ghosts were real. scrunching their face with a silent shit, sam looked back to cassie, "the heart attack patient and gunshot victim? i don't think they died from a heart attack or a bullet wound." ducked in close, hoping no one would over hear, the raised hunter kept eye contact. their hands lifted as if asking to hold, "i know how it sounds, but you've got to believe me."
" okay. " lands, a cautious lilt hedging into it. but, mckay nods them along. the pinching study of her bright blue gaze holds a scrutinizing concern, but everything about her body language ( open, encouraging, quietly listening ) is credulous to the possibility that something here isn't what it seems. she herself had seen each of these patients & while a heart attack can sometimes mask other syndromes or morbidities, a gun shot wound is harder to explain away. she'd removed the bullet with tongs plied between thumb & forefinger, even seen & felt where the molten, misshapen mass had wrought an unfortunate cardiac tamponade that couldn't be staunched. still, she says, " tell me what makes you think that. "
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
@pittbangs cont. from here.
she’s still peering over her glasses at the brunette, and there is just the slightest hint of judgement there. some thoughts are best kept to ourselves, and dana figured that that was one of them. at what point did the women of this place deem her the one to talk to about their bedroom habits? first noelle, now cassie? jesus.
❝ this is not appropriate workplace conversation. ❞ she pulls her glasses off, letting them hang around her neck. ❝ but you’re young, you’re pretty. if it’s really that big of a problem i’m sure there are plenty of strangers in bars to fix that for you. take it from me and stay outta this place. got enough relationship drama in this place, i can’t handle another. ❞
cassie's laugh is a bright crack that shatters between them. she tips over the ledge of the charge station ; the remnants of her cackle crinkle the corners of her eyes in soft, smiling waves. up on her toes, she says just loud enough for dana to hear. " i don't think many people consider 43 young anymore. "
" but ---- "
she hems, a shrug that pulls her mouth flat. " glad to know you think i've still got it. "
pen still tucked into her palm, cassie pushes them both up & out to surrender. dana knows best. " you got me. this is ... look, " she bites down on a breezy chuckle, tilting to finish scribbling in a set of labs she'd ordered on the patient in north 4. " i'm divorced, i don't drink, i've got a 12 year old, & i work here. the most exciting offer i've gotten for a night out lately is a septuagenarian with his bare ass hanging out of a hospital gown. "
a beat.
" i need help. "
Of course he would have to answer the question as to why he had a rather deep slice where there shouldn't be one. He's calm about the whole situation because he knows what happened was stupid. It's not the first time he's landed in the hospital for being an idiot.
And it probably won't be the last.
“Me and a couple buddies, those guys in the waiting room who brought me in, were over at my house and there may have been fake swords involved and a battle that turned real pretty fast."
There's a buzz from his phone, notifications from the post he'd made while waiting for the doctor to come in to examine him.
“No alcohol involved either. We're just that dumb.”
" well, " mckay hedges, gloves hand patiently awaiting the syringe with the local that will dull the nerve endings beneath his ragged flesh. a nurse sets the tube in her palm & she cautiously angles it, plunger firm under her thumb.
" you'll feel a slight pinch & sting. "
business, interspersing, as she watches the fluid drop with each milliliter draining. then, it's time for it to set. cassie discards the empty hypodermic aside, studying the laceration for any places where it might need additional reinforcement. it looks pretty clean, the right size & shape for a blade to match his story.
" those fake swords made for some pretty real injuries. " a copper brow arcs up behind the messy sheaf of her hair. " with something this bad, you easily could have been fatally wounded. are you sure these guys are your friends? "
"don't be silly." a hand lifts to swat hers down, head shaking with a sincere & warm smile. "not here for you, dummy. got a call earlier and thought i'd check in, make sure everyone's doing alright." because she's never been the biggest fan of people being arrested for silly things, for things out of their control; much like her ankle monitor. there's a soft hum in the back of her throat, though her smile is still soft and genuine. "unless you're the kind of girl that likes being in cuffs."
" i can safely say that i never want to see a pair of handcuffs for the rest of my life. " cassie's response runs arid, a droll drone that belies that every word off her tongue is an undeniable truth. she slides her hands into the hang of her hoodie's pockets.
" & i see we're on a new set of pleasantries. "
she's too weary for genuine, so instead, a blithe mildness tips at her mouth. she's trying. " it's busy. but that's nothing new. " cassie exhales the kind of heavy sigh that drops her half an inch when it finishes expelling from the brace of her ribcage. a nudge of her shoulder toward the department's bay doors. " the call someone we're getting in? "
@pittbroke said: ❛ carnal . to [ bite ] my muse during intimacy . 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑵𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑰𝑻𝒀 𝑶𝑭 𝑴𝒀 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬 .
" oh, " capitulates from the slack of her lips, teeth scraping sharp against her arcing throat & curling something hot & urgent down to the shift of her feet in the sheets. cassie's nails scrabble & then catch purchase in the coarse, short strands as the sandpaper scratch of stubble roams over the sensitive flicker of her pulse point. one heel plants against the mattress, the other crooks his calf as they shift together, rolling & rocking.
" ---- oh, " dawns somewhere between the fluttering bat of her lashes & the traipsing path robby's nose makes under her jawline. " ---- hey! "
a bright admonishment of laughter has her with both palms angling into his broad-winged shoulders & wedging him away. it does little more than to separate them far enough that when robby's hips push back in that it hits harder, stutters the protest off her tongue.
" hey, " cassie wrangles his jaw, instead, grasping into his beard & yanking him to look at her. the blue blaze of her gaze bores into his. her ankle draws him closer, barely slowing the pitching pace they've established. already, she knows the fair skin on her neck is blooming something dark & garish. by morning, it'll be an amethyst letter creeping up above the neckline of her scrubs. " no hickeys. not, " argues, dragging him in for a harsh, open kiss that finishes with her eyeteeth sinking into his bottom lip. " where people can see them. "
@prodigil said: ❛ i can carry that for you. ❜ * ― 𝑭𝑳𝑼𝑭𝑭𝒀 𝑪𝑨𝑵 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.
" oh, thank god. " cassie's elbows wing in, knuckles denting into her hips, whole posture slackening. sweat lacquers tendrils of cinnabar to her temples & tacks a rufous fishtail swish to her nape. the stairs staggered up in front of her that seemed so reasonable when signing the least to the place now --- after three trips in with cardboard boxes sagging at the middle --- looks an impossibly altitudinous climb. she flings a hand toward the recliner, easing back a step.
" i don't know why i thought moving after a fourteen hour shift was a good idea, but here i am. " fingers scrape the bangs back down her forehead. a smile, half wild with amusement at her own recent delusion & half softened with sincere gratitude, stretches across her lips. " really ... thank you. "
SHE'S SO RIGHT.
"Fair enough. I don't mean to pry into that—but you can hardly blame me for starting to get concerned."
" i'll let you know if it becomes a public health concern. " cassie leans in, hand shading it like they're co-conspirators.
" but i mean ... come on. single mom, full time work here? where am i supposed to find the time? " a beat, breath rushing out & sending her bangs ruffling. " or the energy, for that matter. "
