secrets spoken

i love you, it's ruining my life...

[murkyhazed]

#MURKYHAZED   —   an independent, private, highly selective multifandom multimuse created by stephanie (she/her, 28).  fandoms include, but not limited to, the walking dead, law & order: svu, the pitt, lord of the rings and many more!  blog contains 18+ content, such as triggering materials like blood, gore, and adult situations.  viewer discretion is advised.

affiliated with: @hersolstice​ / @foxtaeil / @captain-benson / @broughtpeace / @thesearetheirstcries

PERSONAL BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT.

loudest muses: olivia benson, elliot stabler, melissa schemmenti, dana evans, frank langdon, michael robinavitch, carol peletier, mackenzie tanner (oc), veronica sterling (oc), miles dawson (oc)

LINKS:   carrd   //   prompts // resource sideblog // positivity sideblog

[murkyhazed]

y'all giving me the middle aged sex ships when

[resourcesofaqueen]

send 🔥 + a spicy question for my muse.

this could be a question about their kinks, about fantasies, about preferences etc.

[murkyhazed]

my older women muses are the best because they'll let their man come inside

[ofinkandalibis]

Brian didn't let go. Not once. He felt every tremor that ripped through her body, every desperate fistful of fabric she clung to as though he were the only thing keeping her from breaking apart completely. Maybe he was, for the moment. And if that was the case, then he'd stand there as long as she needed.

"It's okay," he murmured over and over, the words quiet and steady against her hair. "I got you, Liv... I got you."

He didn't care about the tears soaking through his shirt or the way his shoulder was growing damp. He couldn't have cared less. If this was what she needed to finally let all that fear and pain out, then she'd have every second of it.

When her legs threatened to give out, he adjusted his stance without thinking, taking more of her weight until she was leaning entirely against him. His hand rubbed slow circles over the middle of her back, the other cradling the back of her head as he rested his cheek against her hair.

His heart broke. Not because she was crying. Because she'd been trying so damn hard not to. When the sobs finally quieted into uneven breaths, he stayed exactly where he was, listening to each shaky inhale as if reassuring himself she was still there.

Then came her quiet plea. "Lay with me, please. I need to lay down." Brian didn't hesitate. "Yeah," he answered immediately, his voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, sweetheart."

Keeping one arm securely around her waist, he guided her carefully toward the bed, moving slowly enough that she never had to support herself more than necessary. Once she was sitting, he eased her down onto the mattress, pulling the blankets over her before slipping in beside her without another word.

He gathered her against his chest again, one arm around her shoulders, the other resting protectively across her back.

"You don't have to be strong right now," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "Not for me. Not for anybody."

His fingers combed gently through her hair. "You survived something no one should ever have to survive." His voice caught for the briefest moment before he continued. "You're here. That's enough. You don't have to prove anything." He held her a little tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere, Liv. You fall apart as many times as you need to..." His chin rested lightly against her hair. "I'll be right here every single time to help you put the pieces back together."

[murkyhazed]

@ofinkandalibis

               in   a   way   it   was   strange,   foreign   almost,   to   have   this.      to   have   someone   there   to   catch   her   when   she   falls.      the   one   she   used   to   count   on   was   long   gone,   never   coming   back.      she   had   basically   resigned   herself   to   being   completely   alone   until   brian   came   along   and   entered   her   life   once   more.

               she’d   had   a   relationship   or   two   in   between   elliot’s   leaving   and   reconnecting   with   brian,   but   they   were   doomed   from   the   start.      like   every   other   relationship   in   her   life.      this   was   the   first   time   olivia   felt   like   maybe   she   wasn’t   destined   to   live   a   life   of   loneliness.      maybe   love   and   acceptance   were   in   the   cards   for   her   after   all.

               her   eyes   are   heavy   as   she   moves   with   him,   and   heavy   still   as   he   lays   her   down   gently.      it’s   immediate,   how   she   moves   once   he’s   next   to   her.      how   she   rests   her   head   on   his   chest,   closes   her   eyes   and   lets   herself   be   soothed   by   his   steady   heart   beat.

               her   head   nods   weakly   at   his   words.      she   doesn’t   have   to   be   strong.      she   can   be   weak   for   once,   she   can   let   it   out,   she   can   keep   letting   it   out   until   she   feels   like   she   has   healed.      but   the   issue   for   olivia   is   that   she   doesn’t   know   when   that   healing   will   come.      doesn’t   know   how   long   this   journey   will   last,   if   it   ever   ends.      chances   are   she’s   going   to   be   forever   haunted   by   what   happened   to   her,   even   if   she   learns   how   to   process   it.

               ❝   the   things   he   did…   ❞      olivia   swallows   hard.      she’s   not   really   talked   about   it   with   anyone,   even   her   therapist.      she   keeps   the   details   vague   because   she   hates   to   relive   them.      but   she   knows   with   the   trial   upcoming   she’ll   have   to   speak   all   of   those   details   into   existence   soon.

               what   lewis   did   to   her   was   the   big   reason   that   she’s   been   so   distant   with   brian   in   terms   of   their   love   life.      she   hasn’t   even   been   able   to   change   in   front   of   him,   opting   to   go   to   the   bathroom   and   lock   the   door   so   he   couldn’t   see   what   marks   mar   her   skin.      she   is   terrified   of   him   seeing   the   cigarette   burns   and   the   scars,   of   looking   at   her   and   no   longer   finding   her   beautiful   because   she   was   permanently   marked   by   that   horrible   man.

               ❝   i   don’t   know   how   i’m   going   to   face   him   at   trial.      how   i’m   going   to…      to   talk   to   the   jury,   explain   everything   all   while   he   sits   next   to   his   lawyer   and   gets   off   on   it.   ❞      her   hand   clutches   his   shirt   a   little   tighter.      ❝   i   don’t   know   how   he’s   even   alive,   brian.      i   swear   that   i…      i   tried   to   kill   him.   ❞      and   admission   she   would   not   tell   anyone   else.

[usermoiraine]

Law and order: SVU – 3x05 Tangled.

[corpatrem]

THEY ARE TWO INCREDIBLY RATIONAL PEOPLE.

Similar in a lot of ways, and both married to their jobs respectively. However… and yet, when they were together, it was like an explosion of fire combusting. They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other, and when Ben is away for work, whenever they reunite, it’s as if they had been parched for years.

Hears her gasp, mingled with a quiet moan that he lets out as he stretches her slowly. Too slow apparently, because in the next moment, she locks her eyes with his and she sinks down to take the full length and girth of him just like that.

Ben lets out a sharp exhale, mouth slightly open, her wet, tight walls pulsing around his cock as his hip roll up, his hands gripping at her waist. The pleasure is so immense that Ben has to close his eyes, trying his best to keep his control, but he knows tonight, the control is out of his hands as Olivia will end up dictating just how fast or slow she wants to take him.

“Oh, honey—” Ben murmurs, eyes darkening with lust as his hands come back up, not being able to help himself to toy with her breasts, gripping and fondling her; every bit of access he could get to give her the pleasure they both desperately craved.

[murkyhazed]

@corpatrem

               she   always   looks   forward   to   their   next   meeting.

               because   she   was   a   woman   who   had   insatiable   desires,   and   the   man   beneath   her   was   excellent   at   giving   her   exactly   what   she   needed.      the   two   of   them   matched   each   other   perfectly.      pure   dedication   to   their   careers,   always   laser   focused   on   the   job   until   they   have   their   sights   on   each   other.      then   all   responsibility   is   thrown   out   the   window   as   they   come   together   like   two   strong   magnets,   impossible   to   ignore   the   pull.

               her   head   tilts   back   slightly,   eyes   closed   as   she   gets   used   to   the   feeling   of   him.      she   always   enjoyed   this   part,   finally   having   him   buried   deep,   waiting   a   little   before   starting   to   move.      it   felt   good   to   be   so   full   and   to   warm   his   cock   until   she   was   ready   to   give   in   to   the   pleasure.

               she   bites   her   bottom   lip   when   his   hands   play   with   her   breasts.      she’s   always   been   so   sensitive   there,   and   he   knows   just   how   to   touch   to   make   her   body   sing   for   him.      she   purposely   clenches   her   muscles,   squeezing   him   before   she   lifts   her   hips   and   then   sinks   back   down.      she   whines   at   the   feeling,   her   hands   linking   together   behind   his   neck   to   give   herself   some   leverage.      she   settles   for   a   slow   rhythm   for   now,   but   she   sinks   down   hard   on   him   each   time,   breathy   little   moans   leaving   her   each   time   she   feels   him   hit   nice   and   deep.

[murkyhazed]

@pittbangs cont. from here.

               she’s   still   peering   over   her   glasses   at   the   brunette,   and   there   is   just   the   slightest   hint   of   judgement   there.      some   thoughts   are   best   kept   to   ourselves,   and   dana   figured   that   that   was   one   of   them.      at   what   point   did   the   women   of   this   place   deem   her   the   one   to   talk   to   about   their   bedroom   habits?      first   noelle,   now   cassie?      jesus.

               ❝   this   is   not   appropriate   workplace   conversation.   ❞      she   pulls   her   glasses   off,   letting   them   hang   around   her   neck.      ❝   but   you’re   young,   you’re   pretty.      if   it’s   really   that   big   of   a   problem   i’m   sure   there   are   plenty   of   strangers   in   bars   to   fix   that   for   you.      take   it   from   me   and   stay   outta   this   place.      got   enough   relationship   drama   in   this   place,   i   can’t   handle   another.   ❞

[pittbangs]

" ----------- i need to get laid. "

[murkyhazed]

@pittbangs

               ❝   …   i   really   don’t   think   i   needed   to   know   that.   ❞

[murkyhazed]

MURKYHAZED: an independent, private, mutuals only multimuse featuring muses from various fandoms included but not limited to: law and order svu, the pitt, abbott elementary and many more. proceed with caution, as there may be triggering or unsafe material present. written by stephanie. ©

[mr-monte-cristo]

His vision blurred after she returned those words. How the past couple years he yearned to hear her say them, how they always were on the tip of his own tongue for her. Loving her came as easy as breathing, he never had to think about it.

"Is it that crazy, Liv?" Elliot held her close, careful not to hold her too tightly as his strength and muscles were a bit of a hazard when it came to hugs. "I love you, I want you to be my wife, I can't imagine loving anyone else but you."

Kathy, he loved her, she would always be his first love, the mother of his children, but the love he had for Olivia was something else entirely. And even she had known it. He hadn't been a good husband to her, not the one she deserved, but he was working to be a better man, soon-to-be husband, and father. And he regretted not having done that sooner.

But now wasn't a time for regret.

"Now if we were crazy, we could apply for a marriage certificate this week," Elliot suggested, meaning it seriously.

Why should they wait any longer?

[murkyhazed]

@mr-monte-cristo

               surely   they   were   insane   for   all   of   this.      for   wanting   to   get   married   after   a   single   kiss,   for   wanting   to   do   it   as   soon   as   possible.      although   that   was   his   desire,   not   so   much   hers.      she   wasn’t   opposed   to   it,   god   no.      she   would   happily   walk   into   the   courthouse   with   him   and   have   it   official.      but   she   also   would   be   perfectly   fine   waiting,   too.

               just   knowing   that   she   would   be   his   was   enough   for   her.      but   if   he   wants   to   dive   right   in,   she   won’t   be   one   to   stop   him.      at   least   not   completely.

               ❝   i   would   in   a   heartbeat,   elliot.      i   would.   ❞      the   way   that   she   says   it   though   alludes   to   the   fact   that   there   is   a   but   coming.      it’s   not   her   rejecting   him   in   the   slightest,   it’s   her   being   considerate   of   the   people   they   have   around   them.      because   it’s   not   just   olivia   and   elliot.      they   have   children,   and   she   would   never   do   anything   as   big   as   this   without   speaking   to   her   son   first.

               ❝   but   you   and   i   need   to   make   sure   our   children   are   okay   with   it.      i’m   in   love   with   you,   and   i   want   you   and   want   to   be   your   wife…      but   if   my   son   isn’t   comfortable   with   it?   ❞      she   really   can’t   see   noah   disputing   this   decision.      if   anything   she   can   see   him   asking   okay,   when   do   we   move   in?

               because   though   olivia   adores   her   apartment,   elliot’s   place   is   bigger.      there   is   more   space,   more   rooms,   and   there   is   actually   some   yard   space.      not   a   lot   of   grass   mind   you,   but   noah   could   go   outside   and   actually   stretch   his   legs   instead   of   being   confined   to   the   small   balcony   here.

               ❝   so   we   talk   to   our   kids.      let   them   know   of   this   change,   and   see   where   they   are   with   it.      the   last   thing   i   want   to   do   is   make   your   children   uncomfortable,   or   my   own   son.      i   imagine   he’ll   be   perfectly   okay   and   be   ready   to   pack   his   bags,   but   i’ll   never   feel   good   about   it   if   your   kids   didn’t   approve.   ❞

[murkyhazed]

i've queued six drafts so far i think that is pretty good for not having written in 5ever

[murkyhazed]

🎨

[gloomglimmer]

POST A "🎨" ON THE DASH FOR YOUR MUTUALS TO COMMENT WHAT THEY LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR BLOG / CONTENT / WRITING.

[murkyhazed]

Send this little flower 🌸 to the friends whose writing you adore and whose presence makes your dash a happier place. Let's share a little love. 💖

You sent this almost 10 days ago and I'm only now getting to it, and I apologize for the delay. Thank you so much for sending me this. Your writing is truly spectacular and I can't wait until you find your inspiration again. I am rooting for you, and you will always find me waiting for the day you return to your writing ❤️

[murkyhazed]

Send this little flower 🌸 to the friends whose writing you adore and whose presence makes your dash a happier place. Let's share a little love. 💖

You are just too sweet for sending this. I am so happy to have you back around, your presence was very missed! Thank you for this, and know that your writing is incredible and I love getting to do things with you ❤️

[murkyhazed]

Send this little flower 🌸 to the friends whose writing you adore and whose presence makes your dash a happier place. Let's share a little love. 💖

You sent this a little bit ago and I'm only now (on mobile) getting to it because I suck. But thank you, my love. You make life so much better just by being around, and I'm so honored that I get to call you mine. You're the greatest thing to happen to me, and you make me so happy. And of course your writing is just the biggest chefs kiss there is and like we are not worthy of your incredible talent. Love you baby.