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Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) / @wholeheartedsuggestions / Jenny Slate / Euripides again

i feel like we don’t talk enough about autistic pattern recognition shane hollander!!!!

Shane Hollander who is so good at hockey because he is able to recognize patterns in other player’s behaviors. Able to identify tells in their body language that indicate when they’re going to take shots at the goal. Able to anticipate which players a coach will put on the ice. Shane Hollander who is able to tell what the refs are going to call before they even call it with scary accuracy.

But I feel like his pattern recognition also starts to apply to really weird areas of his life. Like he starts being able to guess when Hayden is going to tell him that Jackie is pregnant purely based on where Hayden parks his car when they hang out. One day after Hayden gives him the news, he makes the mistake of asking why Shane isn’t surprised and Shane says something like “You always park farther than necessary when you have something to tell me so we can talk about it as we walk up, the farther the distance is the bigger the thing you want talk about is, big news for you usually means another baby.” like it’s the most normal sentence in the world and Hayden just stares at him dumbfounded and then says “Dude if you didn’t play hockey, I think you would be a serial killer.”

#shane hollander #heated rivalry