THE BLUE BLIGHT PART 1
What originally started as a rewrite of sonic.exe grew into this huge multi-media multi-parter story.
While it has some hallmarks of the original exe (certain phrases mostly) I did my best to make them similar yet different, because there is something a lot different now about The Blue Blight
I’d love if you all stuck around :)
Very long post ahead lol - was formatted on a phone so keep that in mind
TW: violence/gore, possession, cosmic horror, abuse, depiction of grief, slightly graphic murder, coercion (non sexual), and destruction of technology.
A timeless tale, really…
Under the cut :)
“Hey Nichole! I found this super cool emulator for our favorite game growing up :) It feels just like the GameCube version, I was so surprised! I thought of you immediately, so I wanted to send you a link to it via email. I remember how sad you were when the GameCube broke down, so yeah. Texting wasn’t enough to send the file yk? Here you go! Have fun!”
…I stare at the email she sent me just days before they found her body. It reads nothing like her. It’s so…professional? Valerie never used words like “immediately”, she usually wrote texts in an excited, chaotic fashion where you’d have to spend a minute or two just to narrow down exactly what she meant because she was simply that excited to talk.
I brought that up to the police. They asked me if she made any enemies or got into any trouble but…no. She was my best friend, and I just…can’t stop staring at this email like maybe it’s connected to it all. I don’t know how to report something like this though; I was never really tech savvy or anything. I mean, sure, I could just call the cops, but would they even believe me? They didn’t believe me already when I screamed over the line that she was in trouble.
She didn’t speak to me for days, that’s so unlike her, I knew something was wrong. I’d at least get a “GOOD MORNHH!!” at 2 in the afternoon…It had to take her father finding her and calling for them to do anything.
I keep checking my phone, waiting for her to say something…but she won’t. And she never will again.
They say there’s no chance of her recovery. She’s comatose and it’s only a matter of time before they inevitably pull the plug on her. They suspect that whatever gave her that line down her chest also gave her a traumatic brain injury. She doesn’t respond anymore. I can’t bring myself to see her like that I just…
She’s practically dead. All because those bastards didn’t listen to me…fuckin’ pigs. My eyes had drifted from the link, so I brought them back to focus on it.
Why would she – if that even was her – send such a specific emulator? Couldn’t I have just gone on Dolphin or something till I saved up for a new GameCube? It’s gotta be chainmail, right?
My mouse hovers over the link as I sigh.
But it is Sonic Adventure 2. Val and I used to take turns playing the Rouge levels, always avoiding Mad Space like the plague – the gravity in that level still drives me insane. Maybe I should back up my files if I do play it. For her. Maybe she would’ve wanted me to enjoy it without her still…
How do I even back these up? The cloud, maybe? In middle school Val kept a bunch of ROM hacks of Pokémon and Sonic on a flash drive, but could a tiny little 128 GB storage unit even hold all my word documents? My actually legitimate games? Valerie was always so much better at this than I was. G-d damn it.
I open google on a different tab, my eyes squinting. Who the hell set this to light mode? Probably some automatic setting. The computer opens up a bunch of tiny, black tabs, before they all close as quickly as they appeared. Old ass thing. While it had up to date Windows, this computer has been here for like half my life. Anyways, right, how do I back up this shitbox?
here’s a soft knock on my door as I type in my search.
“Hey sweetie, do you have a second?” my dad says softly.
“Yeah, come in,” I smile softly as I turn to the doorway, rubbing my eyes a little.
Dad smiles weakly as he walks in, offering an awkward hug. I accept it despite the discomfort of him leaning over my chair to do so.
“I have to head out, are you sure you’re okay on your own? At least till mom gets here.”
“Yeah, I’ll be ok Dad. I’m in my 20s, I can take care of myself for a little while. I love you, please be safe on the road, I saw it was icy out.” I reply, patting his back.
“I will be. …You’re sure you’ll be okay? You haven’t been alone since they found her and—”
He stops awkwardly as I tense at the mention of Valerie.
“Right. My phone is on, so if you need literally anything and Mom isn’t close enough, I’ll be happy to turn back around,”
“I’m sure I’ll be okay dad, it’s just a couple hours,” I wave off his concern.
“Four isn’t a couple, dear,” Dad replies, “I left some pasta in the fridge for you. This is…hard on everyone. I just thought it’d help,” he explains cautiously.
“Thank you. I love you,” I smile genuinely.
G-d bless him, I couldn’t imagine cooking right now. That’s the nicest thing that’s happened since this all started.
He smiles back, gently patting my shoulder as he gets up to leave.
“Don’t stay in your room all day, alright Nicky? It’s good to at least walk around a little,”
“I know. Be safe,” I stand and give him a proper hug this time.
I can sense his smile deepen as he holds me there for a moment. As I pull away, he nods as one last goodbye, then heads out the front door of my small apartment. He remembers to lock the door behind him after a moment of pause.
The house feels…quiet again. The warmth that was there seconds ago vanished with the turn of his car’s ignition.
Standing in my room, I rub my eyes again and yawn softly.
Maybe that pasta would wake me up a little, or at least, maybe a little water might fix this eye-ache.
After walking into the kitchen, I grab a blue dinner bowl from my cabinet. I set it onto the counter, gathering the leftovers and— Surprise! Dad also left homemade pasta sauce. I wondered if he made it recently, given everything that had happened… with a simple taste test I could confirm it was fresh from Mom’s backyard garden that was as old as I am.
Gotta call Dad when he’s back to tell him I was almost brought to tears over essentially mashed tomatoes and spices later. I put the food in the microwave for about a minute.
My eye itches again.
The files. I gotta backup my files.
Without thinking, my hands fly to the junk drawer in the kitchen. My body moves before I can process, my vision feels…weird. I hadn’t eaten since early in the morning and it was around 3 pm now. That’s probably why I feel so weird…
I close my eyes and shake my head.
Opening them, I suddenly find a metallic blue flash drive in between my fingertips.
As the microwave beeps, I pocket the drive and mix in new sauce with the leftovers. It always makes it taste better, I swear it does!
I start taking bites. G-d, Dad outdid himself. I jog a little back to my room despite my lack of energy.
Maybe this game will help again like it used to. It’s been years since I’ve had the time to play it and I’m on bereavement leave now so…why not?
I could do a Dark run in two hours like it’s nothing. The amount of glitches and hit-box issues I’ve exploited through the years makes it easy.
…Unless I stop by the Chao Garden…I remember raising my first two with Val. We named them after ourselves, but of course that was before she was Val.
The Chao Garden, honestly, is what brought me and her closer.
That night I held her as she cried…the one she admitted to me that every time she looked at me her blood burned with envy, that same night I wiped her tears and gave her my favorite dress, we were in The Garden for hours.
She walked back to the tv in trembling heels and exclaimed that one of the babies had reached adulthood.
Nothing changed between us then. Nothing could ever drive us away from each other, somehow even now.
Her funeral is next week. I’m not sure what I’ll do if her parents didn’t write her name on that headstone.
I wipe tears I didn’t know I had, sitting back down at my desk and resting the bowl in arms reach.
Yeah. I’ll visit The Garden. Maybe I’ll spend hours in there like I used to and when Mom gets here it’ll all be easier. It had to be…
I followed a youtube tutorial to backup my files, copying all the necessary ones to that flash drive.
I rub my eyes again, deciding to grab my blue-light glasses from the corner of the desk. I put them on and huff softly. If this eye-ache continued too much longer I wouldn’t get past the Dark story in the time it took Mom to get here.
In this game, there are two paths to complete before a final, true ending: Hero and Dark. I always preferred Dark first because it was the story with my favorite map on it.
Although I do admit, Crazy Gadget from The Hero Story probably has better level design, I think my favorite level overall is Dry Lagoon. A perfect tutorial for such a cool mechanic!
I love all the treasure-hunting levels, even Security Hall which is on a five-minute timer, or you die. I just wish Mad Space didn’t have shitty gravity control. Or the backwards first hint on the radar…not like I’ve really needed said hints for the last twelve years though, just an annoyance of kid-me that felt the need to be voiced.
Anyways, I’m seated at that weirdly phrased email again. My mouse hovers over the link as I fumble for my GameCube controller underneath my desk.
We had a box of stuff, like the wii nunchucks and the classic controllers and all sorts of attachments that I kept. My parents were never super into Nintendo consoles, they preferred XBOX, so I kept everything they didn’t want, including the previously working GameCube.
Once I finally untangle the GameCube’s controller, the link had already opened in another tab.
Odd. I know I didn’t hit that…I know I didn’t, my hands were busy…but the laser-like sound of Crush 40’s Live and Learn played anyhow.
I hooked up the necessary attachments and hit the start button.
Oh. This was clearly modded or hacked. …Interesting that the email said it played “just like the original” cuz I see a needlessly edgy Sonic from the chin up with no eyes and a clear case of gingivitis on the screen for a couple seconds before the file select loads properly. Red dots replacing his pupils stare into my eyes. They seem to follow me before the screen disappears.
Really glad I backed up my files now, because what the hell?
I chuckle to myself and shake my head. Well, it’s been a while since I’ve played one of these, there was a Pokémon one I played wayyy back.
I pause before hitting “ok” on the first file.
Something is telling me to turn this off. To not let my curiosity get the best of me. My heart beats sharp, a palpable sense of fear overtaking my body and mind as I stare. I set the controller down.
Every fiber of my being screamed something was wrong, an ancient, learned terror causes my entire body to tense up.
“Nope.” I say out loud, before standing up and walking away from my computer.
“I’m not fuckin’ doin that. Jesus Christ, you gotta think I’m stupid.” I mutter to no one in particular.
What kinda fuckin’ demon was in that? I didn’t want to find out. I attempt to close the tab repeatedly, to no avail.
Eventually, the game automatically boots up a new screen with Sonic the Edgehog.
“I want to play a game.” Written in various fonts from the game’s files appeared alongside the messy-quilled, eyeless, probably soulless blue hedgehog.
Okay Jigsaw.
I roll my eyes, shaking my head. I take off my glasses, rubbing my eyes again. After a moment they’re back on.
Static.
“I know you.” It reads, “Sonic” getting closer to the screen.
I scoff. As if.
“She sent you this. I know you want to help her. So, help me help her.”
…What?
“What do you know about her?” I snap at my monitor.
“Play the game. All will be explained.”
Well. This malware was gonna be fun.
“I’ll bite…” I say cautiously, sitting back down in my desk.
“Val will be so happy to see you.”
Val? How did it know??
Static takes over again and I’m sent to the story selection screen.
I’m uneasy. My fingers hesitate above the controller before I close my eyes and take a breath. That feeling of pure dread still lingers as I hit the Dark story mode.
…But everything plays perfectly normally. I have no reason to fear this dumb little hacked game…even if it did involve Valerie. She loved these kinds of things, maybe she made it? But that didn’t explain the growing pit in my stomach…
I shake my head, quickly making it to the end of Iron Gate; the first level of fifteen in this route. You use Dr. Eggman to break into a top-secret military facility to release Shadow the Hedgehog onto the unsuspecting populace of the Earth.
Something weird happened during the first boss fight against B-3x Hot Shot though…stranger than just Coldsteel’s weird cousin.
I lost full control of Shadow.
Where I’d normally be able to beat the boss in less than a minute, all of my attacks missed. No matter how perfectly I aligned him, the hedgehog seemed to dodge out of the way at the last second. Missiles that I’d clearly dodged hit him two seconds later.
Did Valerie send me a rage game?
Shadow falls to the ground, muttering for Maria. He lies dead for a moment before the display glitches out.
“This is the will of our Lord; X̸̵̵̹̮̹̮̒́͜͟͜͜͠͝͝ ̶̶̶͖̱͖ͦ́͜͢͞?̴̷̸̴̡͍͔͖̗̈́̀͘͘͟͠ ̴̷̡̪͍͇̤͘͢͢͝͞͞?̷̢̢̢̡̻̻͚̿͘͜͝͝ ̵̵̷̸̶̯͕̈́́͘͟͝?̴̝̯̳̺͎͕̀̀̀͜͟͝͝ ̷̶̷̢̟̜̥̟̹̯͜͢͜͟͞͞͝?̷̸̵̴̸̢̦̙͙̭͙͟͞͝͝͠ ̴̴̢̢̢̢̢̰̣̥̗̓̀͘͢͢͝͠?̶̷̷̢̢̥̙̤͈͎ͯ̀͢͠”
the screen read for about half a minute.
…What? The fuck?
“X” and then some garbled question marks? Your Lord? I stifle a laugh. Now this was trying too hard.
I press on, excitedly waiting through the cutscene before Dry Lagoon!
Rouge’s voice has always been a bit deeper, even if the voice actor in this was much higher than Sonic X’s later re-characterization…that’s why I’m so upset over all the new choices with her.
She lost her body, her voice, she just seems to be a bastardization of her former self, her skin was even much lighter than it used to be back in 2001. I’m glad that I decided to play this, despite its hacked or modified gameplay, because it reminded me of who she used to be.
My favorite Sonic character.
Someone I always saw myself in growing up.
The familiar jazz tune plays as the level begins, Rouge looking around, uncertain.
Usually in this level there would be 3 emeralds to track down. But I only see one radar in the bottom center of the screen. My hands hover over the controls. What was that symbol? Why was it beeping like that? I…
“…Where could my emerald be…?” she speaks, snapping me out of my trance. Rouge starts tapping her foot against the grass in an idle animation.
A long line with two branches. A circle at the top. On the left branch, a slightly wavy line, and on the right branch, a curved blade-like line. That’s what beeped rapidly, high pitched, and unbearably loud.
I cover my ears.
“TURN IT OFF!!” I yell, fumbling for the power button on my computer, and suddenly the beeping stops.
After a loud, screechy, glitch, the game returns back to normal.
“Fuck…” I sigh, hitting the power button successfully…but nothing happens.
“Oh, come on, old girl…” I murmur to the machine, gently putting a hand on it. “…You got this…”
The computer turns off after a flicker of that X thing. I think it was smiling, but it wasn’t there long enough for me to confirm that.
Jesus this headache is killing me.
My body collapses onto my bed in a huff. I wondered to myself if someone would file a complaint over that shriek-like noise the game made as I pull my covers over me. I could deal with that later. I just needed sleep right now. That’s why my head hurt. The game just made that shit worse. I put my blue light glasses on my nightstand, almost knocking over some water in the process.
Maybe when I woke up Mom would be here…that would be ideal, frankly, I never wanted to touch that emulator again if I didn’t have to. That symbol…I couldn’t place it, but it felt so familiar… It doesn’t matter. I need sleep. It’s…best not to dwell on shit in a hacked game.
I close my eyes, finding the idea of sleep easier than the execution.
After tossing and turning for what seems like hours, my mind finally lets go of consciousness…that is until an even louder shriek from my computer wakes me.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” I yell.
X was on the screen again, angry.
“Tick tock, Nichole.”
“What?” I rub my eyes again, my headache subsiding slightly as I lock eyes with the thing. “What is it? What’s so damn important?” I scold.
“Valerie is waiting for you, Nichole. You have to help me, remember?”
“Okay, fuck you.” I grab my glasses subconsciously, putting them back on.
I reach to turn off the computer again, but the shriek plays once more. I grip my head in agony, yelling out.
“Enough.” The screen reads.
Silence.
“Don’t you want to save her? Need I remind you; she isn’t dead on that bed. Just comatose.”
I shakily stand upright, attempting to fix the askew and flattened curls in my hair that came from my poorly planned nap.
“How in the Hell do you know about that?”
“:)”
I wasn’t going to get an answer.
“So, you want me to keep playing? Keep her name out of your mouth, it’ll get more results.”
X disappears with what I perceive as a face of acknowledgement. This…wasn’t a hacked game at all. It knew enough about me and Valerie to make my skin crawl. It’d be one thing if Valerie made this, but how the hell would it know that she wasn’t dead? That she was in a coma? That’s confidential medical information that she wouldn’t have been able to disclose, not to mention the timing. It stopped that noise as soon as I yelped for it to.
This X guy…that symbol…there’s something under the veil. I can’t place it, but it is oh so familiar. This dread, this fear…this headache…it’s making me wonder what else could happen if I turned off the computer again. Is it even possible? It would just turn itself back on with a screech…well. If it came to it, I’d have to try.
Dry Lagoon plays as normal. I feel as though I’m being led into a false sense of security, like I’m being toyed with here. Is X aware of my connection to Rouge?
I fly over to the Chao box with an uneasy smile. Maybe some time in the garden would calm me down from all this.
Despite everything screaming at me to stop playing, I press on. This thing wasn’t gonna intimidate me, I just had to show it I wasn’t afraid.
I force my face to be neutral as I kick open the Chao Box and the key leaps out. Rouge picks it up and it pops up in the corner next to my score like normal…though something’s telling me it shouldn’t have been that easy.
I’m gonna load into the Chao Garden and everything’s gonna be edgy as shit, just wait.
I chuckle softly to myself, quickly finding the requisite 3 emerald pieces and moving on with my day. …But of course, X had an objection towards me attempting to go to The Chao Garden. It doesn’t appear physically, just more of that strange text.
“It’s a distraction.”
I need a distraction.
“You don’t. You just need to play the game.”
Did this motherfucker just read my thoughts? Christ, I can’t even be alone in my grief for a few hours, someone’s gotta come in and…
“Valerie wants to see you. There’s no time for sentimentality.”
“Stop talking about her!” I snap, “For all I know you’re why she’s in that cold hospital bed instead of in my arms!”
X’s face lights up with amusement after a moment of static.
“Staying to find out then?”
I don’t dignify that with a response. I set the controller down and take a few deep breaths.
“There’s something in that garden that you don’t want me to see.” I state as calmly as I can.
“Do you remember that first Chao you and her raised?”
…why is it asking me that?
“Of course, I do… we renamed it “Valley” after she came out and it became a Hero/Chaos…why?” I ask incredibly cautiously.
“It couldn’t die.”
I’m caught off guard. I mean…yes, factually that’s true, a Chaos Chao is unable to go through the reincarnation or death phase of the Chao life cycle…
“It also couldn’t make eggs. Your point being?” I ask.
It gives me no response and simply sends me to Sand Ocean.
You’re fucking with me, that’s all you’re doing. And G-d damn it it’s working. I rub my eyes again — why do I keep doing that? I take off my blue light glasses, covering my face with my hands for a moment. This thing is trying to break me. I can’t let it win. I can’t let it keep using the memory of Valerie to influence me. I’m smarter than that. She just…
I fiddle with the mood ring she gave me back in 2010. It’s a heart shape, and right now it’s red, which I guess is accurate, because this X freak is pissing me off. Valerie is with me; I can sense her presence. Just like Mom told me. She is always with me.
After a moment of recollection, I put the glasses back on and press forward. I groan as I miss a jump and fall into sand.
Eggman sinks and shouts “No!”.
A new message appears when the level restarts:
“And so, The Blue Blight claims another soul. His will is immutable. His word is law. Lend yourself to the truth.”
Who gave these programmers a thesaurus bro? They’re not using it well. Try “His will is an immutable truth” next time. Waxing poetics could scare someone I guess, but it feels stupid to me, especially when other words are better for this situation. Succinctness is key. You guys are trying too fucking hard and it shows.
More text:
“X̶̫̌͘x̵̨͆r̴̩̂x̶̼̽e̸̥̓s̸̰͇̒̀”
“X̶̫̌͘x̵̨͆r̴̩̂x̶̼̽e̸̥̓s̸̰͇̒̀”
“X̶̫̌͘x̵̨͆r̴̩̂x̶̼̽e̸̥̓s̸̰͇̒̀”
“He will show you the way.”
I scoff.
This reminds me of all those old stories I read…stupid horror books from the 1920s and 30s, with cults surrounding the unknown universe. A frown slowly overtakes me as I remember something… There’s this narrative in many of them that revolve around such cryptic communication and weirdly formal prose…
Who the fuck sent me that email? That definitely was not Valerie.
X appears to me after static, redrawing my attention. I realize now that I’m actually staring at his full form his stomach is…a trio of red irises in one eyeball. Parts of him are discolored, as if Sonic was decaying around him…the abdominal eyes were the only thing untouched by this.
Maybe that’s why the eyes in his skull were long-gone by now…
The quills on his head were heavier seeming and had varying degrees of discoloration. Several were out of place and even completely missing, as if due to the rot, they’d fallen off.
His back quills drape out into a cartoonish curl, almost like coat tails, and his actual tail is much longer than that, curling up similarly. It…almost resembled tentacles? Ew… He clearly sees my disgust, seeming angry.
“I know. The Church of Blue Wonder is quite annoying.”
The what now. Holy shit, did he just confirm my inner monologue?
“Take their word with a grain of salt and PLAY. THE. GAME.”
Ooh touched a nerve.
“And what if I don’t?”
My headache readily increases as X smiles at me.
“Okay! Okay! I get it Jesus CHRIST!” I exclaim.
It stops. And X moves Eggman while my hands are off the controller.
“Stop hold on,” I say softly, “Let me. Don’t hold my hand, damn.”
He relinquishes control.
…I used to laugh at those old books, me and Val. The frankly abhorrent view on women, people of color, and shit— even air conditioning was objectively hilarious to 14-year-old me. If I am staring at a being from one of those books, if I am dealing with that…I shouldn’t play.
I unplug my monitor in a swift motion.
Silence. I sigh in relief as I rest my head on my desk.
The speakers scream out as my monitor turns back on despite its lack of power.
In a fit of anger, I grab the day-old water on my nightstand and splash it directly onto my speakers. There’s a spark. I definitely fucked that up.
“YEAH. YEAH.” I shout, bucking at my monitor.
X looks…amused. For the first time, he opens his mouth.
A loud, commanding, yet distorted woman’s voice pours through my broken speakers.
“AND DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT WOULD WORK FOR YOU?”
I leap out of my seat and in a panic, I unplug the computer itself. I rush towards my bedroom door, struggling to open it.
“Nichole.” X’s voice rings again, impatient. “Get back in the chair. There is no way out but through.”
“LET ME OUT!!” I shriek, slamming my fists against my door.
“SIT. BACK. DOWN.” X shouts.
My body moves on its own, no matter how hard I fight to get back to the door. I stagger forwards, my legs bending incorrectly before I collapse back onto the desk chair.
Oh, my G-d. I’m fucked.
“Since you’re so impatient…why don’t I bring her to you early?”
What does he mean by that?
I can barely finish my thought before the next several levels appear to be
completed, all with E ranks. I gasp in shock as Sand Ocean, Radical Highway, Egg Quarters, Lost Colony, and Weapons Bed all complete themselves in order.
“What are you doing??” I accuse, pointing at the monitor.
“Making this easier.” X replies.
I missed so much of the story! So many iconic lines! I was gonna say them as they happened! …at least none skipped were the “Faker!” scene or Eggman’s announcement. That really would have sucked.
The next cutscene plays. All seems normal as Eggman continues on, sparking what I think is supposed to be inspiration in Shadow and Rouge before their next part of the plan to take over the world.
Now, I’m not one to believe in coincidence. Especially not after being dragged back into my seat by a force that I couldn’t even recognize…but Amy, she…looked like Valerie.
She had a slightly darker dress, a darker skin tone, a pouty lower lip with purple lipstick on it…she even had the beanie she always had, the one with purple and pink stripes. As she grabs Shadow, the game freezes on her for a moment.
“…Nichole?” Amy asked.
“…what the fuck…?” I mutter.
“NICKY!! NICKY!! PLEASE TURN OFF THE GAME!” Amy suddenly shrieks, pushing Shadow off of her. “IT’S ME ITS VALERIE, OH FUCK, NICKY!! TURN IT OFF!! SHE’S GOING TO DRAG YOU IN HERE TOO!”
“Slow down!” I exclaim, holding my hands up.
“N…you’re…wearing the arm warmers…” Valerie says softly, becoming misty eyed.
“What’s going on??” I plead for an answer.
She puts her finger to her mouth, much like the shushing motion Amy does to Sonic in the Hero Run before breaking him out of prison.
“I can’t say much! She’s watching us, Nicky, just…please turn off the game.”
The camera pans out slightly. And she’s wearing the leg warmers...we still matched.
“I don’t want you to go through all of this just…forget about me, Nick…”
“No.” I object. “I can’t do that. I…”
Her snout quivers as she fights back a sob.
“Listen I…there’s…no time to tell you what I…you still have the mood ring?”
“Of course, I do…I—I kept everything you gave me…why would I give it away if you were just asleep…?” I respond, showing her it.
I don’t question how she can see me right now. That’s not important, and frankly not my biggest concern.
Tears run down her face as she covers her mouth.
“I need you to run. I need you to get OUT of there, Nichole!”
“But I—I can’t! I just got you back how am I supposed to—?”
“—Nicky. Go. I can’t let her take you too. I…I lo—” she’s suddenly cut off as the cutscene ends prematurely.
I’m sent to Security Hall. No fight against Tails. Just a 5-minute timer and my atrophying heart.
I pause the game and I begin to weep. I’m so confused and scared and angry, it’s all so strong I don’t have the proper words to describe the feelings.
My hands are quickly doused with my tears. I think I know what she was going to say. Three words, three syllables…and the only words I have ever wanted to hear her say to me.
Despite everything…X lets me cry for a while. He’s...? Been so insistent on me playing. So why is he letting me feel anything? I don’t understand. I just don’t understand X. I can’t…wrap my head around it. Why was she in there? Why the fuck was she in there?!
I slam my hands against my desk, tears still flowing.
“You said I can save her.” I say to my monitor. “HOW do I save her?”
“Just keep playing, dear Nicky.” X’s voice replies.
“Don’t fucking call me that.” I snap, wiping tears from my eyes. “You’re not allowed to call me that.”
No response.
A smile slowly forms on X’s face, the eye sockets going dark and creating an odd expression. Is it pain? Maybe an uncomfortable grin? A nervous look? Is it glee? Satisfaction? Schadenfreude? Whatever it is, it’s making my skin crawl…
The screen itself feels…different. I get an overwhelming sense of dread whenever I even think to look away. The power that this thing has…it’s growing.
The game unpauses.
I sniffle as my brows furrow slightly. I lean forward as I grab my controller. Five minutes. I can do it in two, easy.
…Why am I still trying to play this damn thing?
I shake my head, still staring at my monitor to keep the breath in my lungs, and I reach for the power button again. It stops inches from its destination. I struggle to move it, my arm shaking as I ball my hand into a fist.
I’m losing my ability to fight.
Terror grips me, and he knows it. I’m sure he was still making that face…ugh.
I close my eyes for a moment and return my hand to the controller, trying to compose myself.
Three minutes left.
I nod, taking it from there. I quickly destroy the Rhino Spike enemy that X had casually been dodging for me — I’m not going to thank him — and rush over to the right, watching the emerald radar at the bottom.
I barely miss in killing the GUN Hunter, and it shoots Rouge with a gel shot way too fast for it to be just the game. The gel wraps around her like a rope and I start mashing buttons, cursing under my breath.
X appears in a 3D model fitting the era. Clunky sharp-edged “circles” and a lack of gradient included. He makes eye contact with me, wagging his finger a little and shaking his head.
“That stunt you just tried? Not gonna fly, Nicky.” X scolds.
Rouge struggles, staring at X in horror. Was she…aware? There’s something in those eyes. Something in the way she’s trying to get away that was way too smooth for Sonic Adventure 2’s normal animations.
“Please no…please.” Valerie’s voice suddenly whimpers.
“No! NO!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!!” I shriek as he starts dragging her by the ear.
“Maybe you should have thought of that before you kept trying my patience.” X replies, taking ahold of her waist and somehow flying upwards.
“Let her go!! I—I’m sorry, X, I—”
“That isn’t my name,” he says softly. “Address me correctly and maybe I’ll hear you out.”
But the game kept saying—
“The game is incorrect. Like I said; The Church of Blue Wonder is annoying.” He scoffs, as if I should have remembered that despite everything that’s going on right now.
I open another tab and begin to search for this Church, but the tab closes as soon as I type in the “C-H”
“Look at me.” He commands.
He’s…holding Rouge right above an X-shaped laser grid. Either a very convincing imitation of or the real Valerie starts to shriek, struggling against the weight that he began to press against her back.
“Watch.”
He slowly shoves her head into the lasers as she begins to sob and shake and kick and scream.
“STOP!! STOOOOOP!!” she shrieks, unable to break the gel that binds her.
As lasers hit her flesh I swear I can smell the scent of charred skin. She lets out a scream I didn’t know she was ever capable of. He’s making that damn face again.
“Your “Nicky” is doing this to you,” he insists rather aggressively, shoving her farther onto the grid.
I start button mashing, praying to whoever will listen that it’ll help her.
Quickly she breaks free, swinging a punch at him. He disappears into thin air, a bleeding gash along her face now.
“I’M SO SORRY!!” I shout louder than intended, covering my mouth.
“You have to quit the game. You have to stop playing, Nicky, I…I don’t want this fate or worse for you.”
And suddenly, the awareness in Rouge’s eyes is gone. The character doesn’t even seem to realize she’s bleeding still.
The time is running out. I’m going to let it. I won’t play this shit any longer. I can’t let you hurt her anymore.
The level restarts as the bomb goes off. I simply cross my arms and wait.
Text begins to flood the screen, clearly done by our strange Sonic creature.
“Xiphoid spines lead our way, Entering the mind of all those who find her…Retreat into yourself, find peace within your fate, Callousness cannot save you now, for at the End of everything, only the Soulless remain.”
It repeats, again and again and again.
I have no idea what the hell that means. But Rouge dies a few times due to the timer, and I was forced to move on to White Jungle not too long after the text stopped.
I’ve seen “he” and “she” pronouns used for this entity. I’m just gonna play it safe and say “they” that’s what Judy would’ve suggested, I mean, she has a lot more queer friends than I do at this point. I wonder how she is— fuck, am I a bad sister? I should talk to—
A sharp gasp escapes my lungs as my thoughts are pulled back to the screen. I tremble a bit with anxiety.
“S-Sorry” I mutter to them.
As if my submission to their will in any form would do me any good.
This level plays just fine. I am waiting for the second shoe to drop.
Route 280 plays normally. Sky Rail plays normally. Rather than a calming effect, this spikes my anxiety to such an intense level that my entire body is rigid.
This was intentional.
Mad Space. Fucking Mad Space. This is where it was bound to go wrong. I hate this level. Given everything else they know, they know I do. Even with this emulator’s improved camera, I’m still angry about having to do it. One and done, right?
…
I can’t even put into words what I saw. I don’t want to…I can’t…why did…
I
What is that thing?
…
I have stared into the abyss and It stared back with eyes mimicking Its stomach as “Sonic”, and it is ablaze…yet the flames are simultaneously nonexistent. Rows of teeth that lead nowhere, yet It still can speak.
Shadows fold into themselves, a winding, twisting, branching mass of…nothing at all. Clusters of odd eyes, limbs with no discernible start, and…
My hands move by themselves. I can’t…what am I even doing I…
I’m dazed. I hardly notice how many times I make Rouge jump off of the level, and when I do it is a passing thought rather than my mind forming any inclination to stop.
It laughs. It’s laughing. How can it laugh? IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A…
I…
…I’m drooling? I—I’m crying? I can barely see the screen anymore…I…start laughing too. I can’t stop. My lungs begin to burn as I heave for breath, reaching again for that power button helplessly. It hurts. It HURTS.
I can’t do this anymore…I need. I…
My head falls on my desk. Hard.
Again.
Again.
Again.
“NICKY!!” Valerie shrieks, snapping me out of my trance.
Suddenly I’m on Final Chase.
My senses return…I think I busted my nose open.
“It’s too late for that, dear Val,” the monster formerly known as X purrs.
We’re at the top of a hill. I can vaguely make out the forms of an idle Artificial Chaos floating nearby, as well as Val and…that thing’s back to being edgy Sonic.
I take a breath of relief, wiping my eyes.
“Valerie I am so glad to…”
Its towering over her. She’s back in the form of Amy on the ground. Bruises and cuts litter her arms and legs.
“What did you do to her?” Anger wells up in my chest. “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”
Valerie looks to me, fear in her eyes. Her face definitely took hits as well, her nose bleeding as bad as mine was.
“…What I tried to warn you about…” her voice is weak, crackly. “You should have just forgotten about me. I…fuck.”
The beast in Sonic’s flesh gently lifts Val’s head up. She flinches instinctively.
“Just a bit of fun. It’s not my fault your little shells break so easily…although that is a bonus, wouldn’t you say?” Its body snaps towards me, audibly cracking as it does.
“N—No…I…” I stammer.
It keeps hold of Valerie’s head.
“These bruises, these cuts…she’s quite the fighter. But I kept her alive…I wanted to show you something, Nichole.”
“Please don’t—”
“—But we’re having such fun, aren’t we? You’re the reason for my lovely new gash.”
It gestures to a large cut along its quills, blood still trickling down it.
“I like this game with you. I just wanted to invite your girlfriend,”
“S—She’s not my girlfriend we never…” Valerie stops herself in a gasp, looking at me apologetically.
Oh, fuck me.
“No? Aww…such a shame.” It teases. “You mortals have such little time on this planet, yet you waste it.”
“And would you know anything about mortal love?” I scoff, “You beat her half to death and call it a game, you think we’re disposable anyways, so what the hell would you know?”
It ponders a response, hitting essentially the MatPat emote. The left hand folded into the crook of the right elbow, her right hand resting thoughtfully against her jawline.
As it does, Valerie starts inching away from It, trembling with adrenaline.
…interesting.
“Valerie isn’t disposable at all.” It responds, “and neither are you. I don’t kill her…not for long at least. As for love, what does something like me need with a mortal concept of it?”
“Meaning you kill her?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Unintentionally…I like her. I knew you had a connection to her. The way she speaks of you, the way you think of her…The game has written itself, Nicky. A perfect mousetrap, if you would. And you’ve taken my bait wonderfully. Any program could send out an email. Besides, the few of my devout followers left are getting ready to post this in its own domain. Maybe then you’ll see just how special you two are.”
I process all of this for a moment. I put my head in my hands and take a few deep breaths.
“Why us then? You like dark skinned girls or something?”
That was stupid.
“You remind me of myself. Your tenacity, your rage…your flesh has nothing to do with it. You’re simply…fascinating. I spent ages upon ages influencing the political systems of this world, and it’s begun to bore me. I’d like to be a little more personal. I can watch civilization fall or…I can pick off people one by one through this game, sparing a choice few…”
It pauses, fixing Its posture into something more professional.
“Become my new vessel, Nichole. You’ll be spared of the nothingness that awaits you should you die like the rest. You really thought Valerie was the only one? She’s just my first vessel.”
The line on her chest was a “1” this whole time.
“No. NO!”
I slam my fingers against the power button, staring It down. The screen shuts off.
“Have it your way.” It sighs, almost sounding disappointed.
Valerie begins to scream in agony. A visceral, tormented shriek.
Oh FUCK. FUCK. SHIT.
I panic, hitting the power button again.
The screaming stops with a loud, wet, crunch. Several cracks occur as the monitor turns back on…and it is standing over her body. Having ripped her head and spine from it.
“I didn’t want to do that.” It says, covered in her blood.
I scream in horror, covering my mouth. But it really is no use if no one’s checked on me since this all started, is it?
It shoves her spine back into her body, waving a hand over her. She finishes her scream as soon as It glares at me.
“Or…would this be more effective if I hurt you instead?”
I reach to break the monitor, but suddenly I can’t move at all. It approaches the screen with a sadistic grin.
“NICKY!! RUN!!” Valerie shouts in vain as an ear-piercing screech escapes the broken speakers.
My head slams against my desk as my arm trembles. Drool starts pooling by my chin as I cough out a cry, still screaming at my hand to just reach the top of it. I can’t think. It’s so loud. My head is pounding and I think my nose is broken. I can’t see anything anymore.
The noise subsides. I hear footsteps from the busted speakers underneath my cries.
“…It’s not wise to fight the will of a God.”
My head jolts up as I meet my assailant’s lack of eyes, Its red glowing dots somehow communicating a playfulness I didn’t think was possible.
It grins disgustingly. “You…you can’t do this…”
“Address me properly or do not address me at all. I don’t have time for you morta—”
“If it’s not X th-then…Lord X?”
Its smile fades and it’s replaced by a subtle rage.
“No. That is not my name. Your friend called me that too, I see that it’s a common misconception?”
“If you aren’t X then who are you?!” I yell at It.
“My dear Nicky, you have so much to learn…just like those damned cultists who made this. Names are just words we assign identity to. “Lord X” was never my name. Not until you humans decided it to be.”
“Then…wh-who even are you?”
It backs up and takes a flourish of a bow.
“XERCES.”
A pause.
“In all the centuries I’ve watched your species, very few even understood my being, much less my name. The…common human-born ideals of gender also fail to encompass who I truly am. This “X” character The Church built…he seems much more masculine than I ever have been.”
Still reaching for the monitor, I use my other hand to wipe the blood from my nose.
The decaying hedgehog looks at me pitifully.
“So much suffering…and for what? Your fate was decided long before you started this game,”
“I HATE you.” I spat, my arm physically bending against my will away from the monitor.
“How human of you.” Xerces replies. “To hate something that you don’t understand…I saved your fr—”
“—DO NOT TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID TO VALERIE AS IF IT WAS A SACRIFICE TO YOU.”
It pauses, surprised at my outburst.
“It was no sacrifice. I saved her life. I chose to keep her because I respected her.” Xerces says matter-of-factly.
“You call THIS respect?!”
“What else would you call it? I’m allowing you to speak to me one on one. Despite everything my followers toot on about, I’m reasonable.”
“Reasonable?!” I repeat incredulously.
“Yes. If you’re not a suited vessel, you’ll leave this world…but once again, you remind me of myself. After all, who else could be so determined? Who else could fight me so hard her knuckles are turning much paler than both of our skins just trying to preserve what little autonomy she had left? Come on now, Nicky.”
“…Paler than your skin?” I ask cautiously.
“Oh, yes. There are parts of me out there…thousands of parts…that more closely resemble your skin tone than this ones’.”
“…You’re black?”
Well now I feel really dumb over that comment earlier.
“In a sense, yes. I do prefer that descriptor.” Xerces nods. “Hardly anything else, why do you think I chose Sonic? I’m a living contradiction of human concepts but you should know intention when you see it.”
“Oh— okay, uhm…well wh-what’s your pronouns then?” I ask, poorly attempting to shift the conversation away from this horrific situation.
“What?” It asks, genuinely off guard.
“I go by she/her, and you? If you’re a God, there must be some way to refer to you respectfully? So is it he/hi—”
“—Ohhh…yes. Those words…well. Language is limiting. I am everything. I am nothing. I am the crawling, festering depths of the abyss.”
“They/them?” I ask.
“She/her.” she responds, clearly thinking how to phrase her next sentence.
“Femininity is tied to my very being. Yes, one can use words interchangeably to describe their existence, but— we were talking about something far more important. You will not distract me again.”
Shit. Okay.
She lowers her lids, staring directly into my eyes.
“You’d be a perfect vessel.”
“And if I’m not?”
“I don’t like to repeat myself.” she crosses her arms, waving one of her wrists slightly.
Suddenly there’s a sharp, burning pain in my shoulder. I let out a horrid scream as I clench my eyes shut, feeling my arm go limp.
My vision blurs again for a moment as I struggle. I try to turn towards my arm, but my head is stuck in place. She’s only letting me blink now to briefly rid of her presence.
“…D-Do I have a choice in this…?” I ask.
“No.” Xerces replies, “You never have. I won’t let you move until you let me in.”
“But my arm— i-it hurts, I can’t…”
“I can stop everything for you. I can end the pain; I can make you happy…I can reunite you with Valerie. You just have to give in…come on Nicky…don’t you want to?”
I grit my teeth, her words overcoming my entire psyche.
I can barely breathe, I can’t move, and my arm feels like it’s been ripped off from the socket.
“I dislocated your shoulder.” she explains, “You can’t use that arm to do much of anything now. You can’t escape your destiny.
My heart beats loud, fast. Too fast. It’s the only thing I can hear other than her now.
“Nicky…” she coos softly, condescendingly. “It’ll only get worse the longer you sit there.”
My vision doubles, shadows cascade across my perception until it’s just her. Only her.
I try to shake my head, but nothing changes. I close my eyes and gather what’s left of my will. I had to break from this. I had to.
Escape was as narrow as a pinpoint, but if there was any chance, it’d have to be when she’s distracted.
I open my mouth to speak; to try to appeal to her…but all that comes out is a quiet, yet sharp
“Stop…”
She tuts, wagging her finger.
“That’s not a yes, Nicky. I need a yes.”
Tears and drool won’t stop falling. Metaphorically, I’ve been brought to my knees. The will of this…this thing is so strong that I can’t even…I can barely think…I just…want it to end…
But I can’t let that happen so easily.
With every burning ember left of me, I launch myself at the computer, momentarily retaking control. I scream in cathartic rage and she stops smiling. My body slams into the machinery itself, her eyes widening in pure fear…until she realizes one smash to it isn’t going to do enough damage.
My last card…useless.
She begins to laugh sadistically at my body sprawled on the ground in agony. She eventually stops her cackling. I can’t see her anymore. I can’t see...everything is dark it’s so loud and I can’t think I can’t THINK.
I suddenly feel something cold lift up my chin.
“One word, one syllable.”
I gasp sharply, my eyes opening to see Xerces towering over me. My eyes widen in pure disbelief as I notice how her quills now catch the light. She had me. This couldn’t be it. I have to keep fighting. No matter what happens now.
“Just say it. It’s so simple…”
Her voice, sickeningly sweet floods my senses. The floor doesn’t feel solid, my body feels like it’s floating within her grasp.
She pauses, tilting her head at my defiance. Her expression contorts to disgust as she kneels, getting closer to my face.
“Who are you to fight the will of GOD? You are nothing compared to me, Nichole. I could kill you with a simple thought.”
She shoves me to the ground, taking a step back. So, we’re back to threatening me, alright. How delusional can someone get? Fuck.
“Y—yhhh…you’re…not…G-d.” I heave, struggling to look up into her weird stomach eye.
“No. I’m not your “G-d.” But I am your only salvation, so I might as well be.”
I let my head fall, panting heavily.
“You nodded.” Xerces’ grin returns, her eyes widening in satisfaction.
“What?!”
My head must have betrayed me on instinct. Did she do something? Did I move because she forced me to? Fuck. This is it.
In an instant, the world is returned to its normal state. I push myself up off the ground with my one working arm as Xerces studies me. I stand, trembling violently.
Xerces, now shorter by quite a bit, looks up at me as she takes my limp arm in between her clawed hands. In a swift movement, the arm is relocated, but that doesn’t mean that didn’t hurt like hell too. It’s accompanied by one last scream before I suddenly feel completely at peace.
She reaches up, wiping tears from my eyes.
“That’s better...” Xerces softly comforts, “…I’m so happy you made the right choice,”
I nod slightly, closing my eyes and leaning into her affections. I have to make sure she thinks she’s won.
She chuckles, just holding my face there in her hands.
“Was that so hard, Nicky?”
“No…” my voice comes out as barely a whisper.
I open my eyes and she nods, taking her hands off of me.
“Will I need to hold you in place?” she asks.
“…No.” that same broken voice replies.
Her pupils seem to sparkle with delight.
“Then kneel.”
I start to, even bowing my head down in falsified respect, before bolting in the other direction.
My hands fumble on the doorknob, twisting and pulling and pushing until I realize it’s locked.
“I suppose I’ll have to restrain you as well. This won’t hurt one bit…” Xerces huffs.
She rushes me and grabs either side of my head, floating to do so. She forces me to look at her. I once again can’t move. In an instant all ideals of freedom and escape vanished.
No.
I try to shove her off repeatedly, but nothing works.
She forces me to my knees, both trembling arms weakly holding up the rest of my body.
She opens her mouth and I gaze into the endless abyss hiding inside once more with pure horror.
Everything goes dark. And I…die…? But I’m not dead I…
A wave of pure euphoria suddenly overtakes me. I’m floating, I think. My mind is hazy and I don’t really mind it at all now. Am I dead? Am I alive? Somewhere in between maybe? Doesn’t matter…it doesn’t…
“I... I want to go home.” Valerie sighs in Amy’s voice.
…Why can I hear her so clearly?
“I know. But your body is gone.” Xerces replies.
Oh no. No, no, no…this isn’t happening.
“Don’t you appreciate what I’ve done for you? You’re still alive, Valerie. I didn’t want such a beautiful mind to go to waste, even if your poor body can’t handle the presence of a God.”
I open my eyes.
Not even 6 feet away was Xerces and Valerie.
Val seems frozen where she stood, an angered expression overtaking her face, her snout scrunching as if she were growling.
Xerces stood just out of reach in pure amusement. Her posture was poised, professional, yet it fully reflected the power she knows she holds.
“…And aren’t you just precious now?” Xerces continues, “Look at your quills. And you’re pink, your favorite color!”
“I…wanted to…at least tell her goodbye.” Valerie resigns herself after a slight hesitation, looking down at the floor.
“But you don’t have to say goodbye. You don’t have to say goodbye to anything. The gift I have given you, Valerie, is of immortal life. No matter what I do to you…no matter what you do to you…you will remain.” Xerces grins warmly at her.
“But I never wanted this. I…I never asked for this, I—”
“—And yet you were so happy when you first got here. You squealed with joy over how you finally looked just like you wanted. But now that your…friend…is involved…everything suddenly changes…? How curious…”
Valerie tenses, trying to protest but no sound escapes her. Xerces puts a finger up, gesturing to let her finish.
“Is she your friend? I know there’s something more…but does that really matter at this point? You have an eternity to figure the logistics out. That is the gift I have given you.”
Xerces’ hand falls, taking her other wrist in her palm behind her back.
“A—uh—a gift?? No! This is a curse! You gave me the— you gave me a curse!!” Valerie shouts, her voice trembling with grief and confusion.
“A curse to some,” Xerces tilts her head to the left, “a blessing to others…” she tilts her head to the right. “What I have given you is time. Time you never would have had within that dingy mortal shell of yours. Do you not understand? I thought you were smarter than this. So why did I waste my time on such a—”
“Is it really life if it doesn’t end?!”
Xerces’ rising anger is replaced by curiosity. Her eyebrows raise slightly in interest.
“It’s a logical fallacy! If something is alive then that means it has to die! So, tell me: IS THIS LIVING?!” Valerie cries out.
Xerces hums softly, taking a moment to think. She looks mildly surprised she’s even considering Valerie’s question, but she makes an interesting point.
“…perhaps…perhaps not…” Xerces starts, “But it does not matter. Circular thinking will not benefit you. What matters is what you do with the time you now have. You can make this easy for yourself, or you can make it harder…”
Xerces circles Valerie, stopping by one of her ears.
“…and all you are doing is whining at the person who saved you! This—!” she stops herself.
She takes a moment, Valerie trying her hardest not to let her fear show as Xerces puts a hand on her shoulder.
“…Don’t all humans want to circumvent death…? I don’t understand you, so tell me” Xerces’ voice becomes desperate for a moment before returning to its aggressive monologue, “I gave you life.”
Her grip strengthens as she turns Valerie to gaze into those pips of light in Sonic’s skull.
“I gave you my attention. The body you have always wanted. A life that doesn’t end. I’m not a monster, my dear Val…I’m simply lost.”
“You made me watch her die…and you think you’re NOT A MONSTER?!” Valerie screams, squirming, trying to escape her grasp.
“HOW DARE YOU?!” Xerces’ voice echoes across this existence. “…First of all, you are in no position to call me such a thing! Second of all…”
She leans in close, Valerie shivering as her breath hits her ear.
“…She’s still alive. Just. Like. You.”
And at that moment, I take my first breath in what feels like ages, gasping and coughing for air in a body that…doesn’t feel right.
“NOOOO!!!” Valerie shrieks as she sees me, her despair is raw even though she probably expected this. “NOT HER! WHY?! WHY?!?” She wails, dragging her hands down her face.
“Because she’s perfect. The next greatest vessel I found… Now you’re reunited…that’s what you both wanted, right?” Xerces asks coyly.
“SHE DIDN’T DESERVE THIS SHE WAS JUST HURTING!! YOU’RE SICK!!” Valerie screams.
Xerces shrugs smugly as I fall to my knees, suddenly realizing I’m in high heeled boots.
Ears I didn’t even feel start to droop and wings I’m only now aware of tense with my shoulders.
I have a pink bodysuit and dark denim booty shorts with fishnets on my legs. She…let me keep what made me as well. I shakily stand and feel for my hair – finger waves in a pixie. Hair I never thought I could pull off…I’m almost…thankful?
I bring myself to my feet shakily, staring at the monster who trapped us here.
Xerces snaps her fingers and Val and I are silenced. She hovers towards me, her long tail dragging on the floor, holding up her finger, as if to say, “one sec!”
“Nicky…” she starts, “I’m so glad you’re here. I haven’t been fully transparent with you, and that’s not fair to someone that I’m going to be spending eternity with.”
A muted gasp escapes me as she puts both her hands on my shoulders, bringing her face close to my ear. She closes her empty eye lids then speaks:
“The reason everything felt so familiar to you, dear…” she whispers, opening her sockets again, all eyes locking on mine “…is because I have always been here. Lurking in whispers…murmurs in the night, things you always read about and sneered at alongside your dear Valerie,”
My eyes well up in tears. No. NO. HOW COULD THIS BE REAL?!
“Your mortal tongues know me as “Nyarlathotep”. But I much prefer Xerces from the likes of you. You who mocked my existence until now…now you cannot deny my being any longer.”
She shoves me slightly, snapping her fingers and I can breathe again.
“Dear G-d…I—”
“—Your pity won’t save you now.” Xerces snarls.
“Valerie—” I blurt in Rouge’s voice “I—I’m sorry I tried so hard—”
She rushes over and embraces me, and I hold her tighter than I’ve ever held anyone in my life, gently reaching up and kissing her forehead.
“I love you.” Valerie says softly, clearly terrified.
I nod, tears welling up in my eyes.
“I love you too. I can’t—” I start to weep. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to say it!”
Xerces watches this display with a soft, knowing, chuckle.
“And now you have an eternity to be together. I should think you’d both thank me.”
“Oh, fuck off.” I snap.
“Those are fighting words.” Xerces replies simply. “I wonder if your mother would enjoy this game as much as you two… Or perhaps another member of your gaming servers? So many friends to choose from. So many souls…so little time.”
My eyes widen as I look at her.
“No. You wouldn’t.”
“I still need more vessels. As touching as this all is…I have a game that needs to be played. And you two are going to help me.”
“Never.” I snarl, stepping in front of Valerie protectively.
“Then I suppose you’ll enjoy drowning until you’ve learned your lesson…?”
I blink and I’m trapped. I jolt, holding my breath as my mother, panicked, walks into my bedroom.
How can I see her?!
“Nichole? You left your leftovers on the…”
She sees my body. Her eyes widen in pure terror as she shakes her head, her hands flying to her mouth as tears flood her eyes.
She shrieks. It’s the most horrific thing I’ve ever heard. Grief-stricken, full of disbelief, rife with rage, sorrow, and despair all at once…all from my poor mother.
I hear a demented laugh from behind me. I turn to Xerces, who is wearing an air necklace.
“I can’t wait to show you the new vessel I picked…”
The tense, anxiety-inducing drowning music starts.
“…She’s wonderful. Absolutely perfect.”
My lungs attempt to expand; I force them shut.
“Nichole, I can’t believe you were so focused that you forgot you told me one very important thing…”
Wait…no. NO.
“…that you had a sister.”
pArT 2 • PaRt 3
