nettles ༄ fully inspired by “nettles” by ethel cain
pairing: pogue!rafe x reader
cw: angst, death imagery, poverty, emotional trauma, hurt/comfort, natural disaster
the plant always smelled like something burning. not fire, no, if it was fire, there’d be sirens, but smoke, metal, something too hot for a human body to bear. rafe came home soaked in it, every night, skin blistered pink and sweat-slick. he’d toss his boots by the door and crawl into your lap on the couch, collapsing like a tree in the forest, heavy and worn.
“you’re gonna kill yourself in that place,” you whispered once, tracing a bruise on his shoulder with your pinky.
he kissed the inside of your wrist. “better me than you.”
you were supposed to get married in the spring.
no white dress. no gold band. just the two of you barefoot in the field behind the trailer, fireflies like confetti. rafe talked about it like it was already happening. said he’d find a ring in the weeds, said he’d carve your names in a tree so the Lord would see you were his. you laughed at first, but he was serious. you could see it in his eyes, those wild, soul-deep blue eyes, full of hope you didn’t know a man like him could still carry.
“i’ll make it good for you,” he’d whisper, curling around your back like a shield. “we’ll have clean water. a real bed. one of them little dogs that don’t stop yappin’.”
“i don’t need all that,” you murmured, sleepy. “i just need you.” and that was the truth.
it was a thursday night when the tornado hit.
you were sitting at the kitchen table, sorting through bills with a flashlight, when the radio cut out. then the air changed. it got still, like the world inhaled and forgot how to breathe. you peeked through the window and saw the trees bending backwards, like they were praying.
you didn’t pray. not until you got the call.
“there was an accident,” the voice said.
your knees hit the linoleum before you realized they’d buckled.
the hospital smelled like bleach and grief. when they let you see him, he was barely there. just bone and blood and the faint flicker of breath. a jagged shard of something, metal, maybe glass, had torn through his side. they said it hit an artery. said it was a miracle he made it this far. said he wouldn’t make it to morning.
you screamed. “no. no, no, no-”
they tried to pull you away, but he blinked. and that was enough.
you crawled into the bed, cradling him like he always did you. his hands were cold. his lips moved.
you sobbed. “i’m right here.”
“i’m sorry,” he said, voice like gravel and wind. “i was gonna give you a good life.”
“you did.” you kissed his temple, held his hand to your heart. “you did. don’t go, rafe, please.
his blue eyes met yours. a tear slipped down his cheek.
“i ain’t scared,” he whispered. “just hate leavin’ you behind.”
and then he stopped breathing.
the world didn’t go black. it just… stilled.
like the night the tornado came.
like the radio static. the silence before the end.
you remembered everything. the broken faucet. the hole in the roof. the way he’d hum to himself while patching it with duct tape. how he’d sneak wildflowers into the house like they were diamonds. the way his hands trembled when he touched you, soft, careful, like he didn’t think he deserved something so tender.
“i’m gonna make it good for you.”
you screamed. but no one heard.
choked on air. shot upright.
the room was dark. quiet. humid.
you were back in bed. home.
breathing. chest rising. hair stuck to his forehead. one arm curled under the pillow, the other draped across your waist.
your hands flew to his face. “rafe, rafe, wake up.”
he blinked awake, groggy. “what’s wrong?”
you couldn’t stop shaking. “i thought- i thought you died-“
he sat up fast. “what? baby, hey. look at me.”
and those blue eyes, his blue eyes, looked back at you, wide and worried.
“you’re okay,” he whispered, pulling you into his lap. “shit, you’re shakin’. you’re okay, i’m right here.”
you clung to him like salvation, sobbing into his neck. “it was so real. there was a storm. you got hurt. you told me you weren’t scared, but i was. i was so scared-”
he kissed your hair. your forehead. your cheeks.
“i’m here,” he murmured, over and over. “i’m here. ain’t goin’ nowhere, alright?”
you touched his chest. felt his heartbeat.
rafe wrapped his arms around you like he was scared you might vanish.
“i got you,” he said again. “you’re safe, baby. it was just a dream.”
you hiccupped. “you promised me a good life.”
he smiled, soft and sleepy. “still do.”
and in that moment, in the dark hush of your crooked little house, with the windows cracked and the bugs singing and rafe’s arms locked tight around you, you believed him.
because he’d give everything just to keep holding you like this.
because sometimes, even in a world built to break you, you got to wake up.
and the love of your life was still breathing.
an: eek hi 🤗 i love love ethel cain’s new song and thought it would make a great fic! this is my first fic ever so please please be kind lolol
ps nettles is so good go listen to it rnrnrn
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