I just rolled credits on God of War (2018).
I skipped it initially because it came out the week I sold my PS4 to pay some bills, and when I got a new one later on, I just wasn’t interested. At the time, my relationship with my father was awful and I was incredibly resentful of him, so I was staying out late, smoking too much weed, and just in general making decisions that were harmful for myself. I was in a bad place, but I had a couple good things keeping me going.
Today, I’m in such a healthier situation. I’m sober, I’ve put about 3,000 miles between myself and my father, and I’ve surrounded myself with a partner and friends that genuinely support me. I’m taking care of myself, and I feel great.
I’m so grateful that I didn’t play God of War until now. The journey that Kratos and Atreus undertake together is epic, and full of some surprisingly emotional moments that hit me pretty heavily. In the last few years, my father hasn’t become any better of a dad, but I’ve healed so much on my own, that I’ve found peace, and seeing Kratos struggle with being a father in many of the same ways my own father does made me feel so deeply about Atreus being raised in a similar situation. I was brought to tears watching him learn how to communicate and to understand that trust and respect cannot just be assumed, even from children. He grows and comes to a place where he can look at his son, seeing the worst of himself in him, and correct his own behaviors, striving to be better so that his son can grow and be better in tow. They develop such a strong bond on this odyssey that by the end of it, you can’t help but be proud of them both.
Atreus, meanwhile, resonated with my right off the bat, as a young boy who just wanted to know more about his dad, but was met with silence or scolding at every turn. Naturally, he comes to recognize this sternness; this disdain for openness; as a sign of strength and manliness. He comes to imitate it, and after learning the truth about his fathers background as a god and that he himself is a god, leans full tilt into the supremacy that he reads from his father’s refusal to relate to him. After their trip to Helheim forces both of them to relive their darkest moments together, and they witness just how broken they are, Atreus finally sees what he’s becoming, and understands a little bit of why his father would hide his past.
Watching both of them come to this reckoning together and how they grow from it nearly broke me. My father and I haven’t shared this moment, and I doubt we ever will, but when my grandmother died, it did shake a sense of mortality into me. It’s helped me come to peace with why my father doesn’t know how to communicate; why he has consistently remained closed off to me and my sisters. I don’t know that we’ll ever repair our relationship, but watching Atreus and Kratos repair theirs has left me with a sense of readiness in case he ever decides to try, and acceptance if he doesn’t.
Beyond that, it was just an incredibly tight, well paced game. The side characters were funny when they had time to be, helpful where they needed to be, and the enemies were challenging, yet (mostly) not broken. Fuck the guys who blind you for like a minute, but otherwise, it’s a blast to romp through Midgard, and I can’t wait to begin Ragnarok after Christmas.
Onwards to Pokémon Scarlet!
