Self-Taught: Chapter II: Christmas Day
Self-Taught
Nick and June meet their first grandchild for Christmas at their home in Hawai'i.
Christmas Day
An awakening, a history, an antique, a connection

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@placingglaciers
Self-Taught: Chapter II: Christmas Day
Self-Taught
Nick and June meet their first grandchild for Christmas at their home in Hawai'i.
Christmas Day
An awakening, a history, an antique, a connection
i'm not seeing enough appreciation for the absolute master class that is the moment grace chooses to remove his helmet for the first time in the xenonite tunnel.
he's terrified, yet his instinct to trust is stronger than his instinct to survive. he's afraid, and he knows he could possibly suffocate to death in that moment, but something in that early meeting calls him on a deeper level to connect with rocky. to trust him with his literal life.
as grace contemplates removing the helmet, the camera cuts back to rocky - who intentionally leans forward slowly and clicking cautiously, anxious to see if this kind human is going to trust him the way he does.
cut back to grace and he removes the helmet on blind faith. he exhales overwhelming sighs of relief; the music swells and resolves; rocky chirps and jumps for joy; grace softly smiles, and so does damn near everyone in the audience. the moment is potent and raw. it assures the characters and the audience alike: you can count on me. you are not alone. we can figure this out if we stay curious about each other.
the scene then ends on a wide shot of their two ships bound together, spinning in synchronized centrifugal gravity, over beautiful resolving chords of melody and harmony. it shows us a powerful visual of the birth of their unbreakable physical and emotional bond. dependability and loyalty is built and earned, but these two could actually trust each other with their lives from the very start.
their fates are now literally entwined.
i think one huge huge part of Grace choosing bravery more as the film goes on that (from what little ive seen on tumblr in 2026) not many people talk about when bringing up the "finding soneone to be brave for" parallels is that selflessness doesn't come out of just liking someone else enough. Grace seeks friendship and connection pretty consistently through the film, but aside from maybe his students, Grace doesn't get that connection back seriously until Rocky. He tries to connect deeply with Stratt, hell, tries to talk hard decisions and the toll the situation takes on everyone, but it doesn't work (not anti stratt btw, she basically *can't* connect the way hes wanting to because this world isnt his school or even a lab, its a military mission with planet-ending stakes). He had a great shallow connection with Carl, but it never veered deeper, it was a hanging-out connection more than a strong friendship, and thats proven when Carl stands and watches Grace get tackled to the ground (again not anti, its just a different environment). and i personally like to think that the whole reason he asks to think about it instead of just doubling down on his "no" is because of his students, because of their worry over the end of the world that we see in the beginning. he wanted to help, he *did* help so much, he just also didn't want to die, and to him he was not the only possible option on earth.
So when Grace makes decisions to be brave later, decisions where he actually has a choice, i think they didn't come from learning to toughen up or because he learned to like other people enough, but because someone finally cared about Grace as an individual. I don't think its a coincidence that Rocky's big feat to save Grace by risking his life comes before Grace decides to give up Earth for Rocky. I think its telling that the narrative frames Grace's risky decisions saving the sample from Adrian as more uncertain than it does when he's deciding if he'll give up Earth for Rocky. Hell in general just the fact that Rocky reaches out first, sends messages and adapts to Grace so much and so willingly helps Grace be so much braver that he felt on Earth, not because Grace was inheritly weaker or worse on Earth but because, ironically, in space with Rocky became a world he could get deeply connected to, and that deep reciprocated connection is what prompts bravery. Its very hard to be brave, to find bravery worth it, if you feel the majority of the people around you dont value your life. You cant afford to be selfless because your self is the only thing invested in keeping you alive. And if you wanna view it tragically, then really everyone around Grace on Earth refusing to get attached to the guy they're dooming so it hurts them less inadvertently offloads their pain onto him, making him feel alone and overpowered because even if we know or believe people cared and hated hurting him, what he experiences is mostly detachment, surface friendship, then his death sentence. Logic says they cared, they had little choice, they were stuck in a trolley problem and luck gave him the short stick, but feeling and experience struggle to take that into account.
So yeah, Grace is brave in space, so admirably brave Rocky struggles to understand why Grace thinks otherwise, but Rocky is the reason that bravery came out. He made Grace feel safe and loved enough that Grace didn't have to be the only person concerned about his wellbeing. He made it possible for Grace's big heart to leave self-preservation mode and sacrifice for others because he knew with certainty that it'd matter to someone if he was okay. That if someone else was given the choice to save him, they'd try their damnedest to keep him alive too.
RYAN GOSLING as RYLAND GRACE PROJECT HAIL MARY (2026, Phil Lord & Christopher Miller)
I can't stop thinking of Grace being reborn on the ship. Gosling calls the coma bag his amniotic sac. He's released from it wobbly, frightened, struggling to speak, like a brand new baby; is stunned to find out he's been released into an enormous universe with no instructions. He encounters death immediately without understanding. He has to learn to know himself from nothing--"Am I smart?" He cries and screams over how overwhelming it all is, like a toddler shoved into a world they can't control.
We watch him through his angsty teen years learning the little things that make him himself -- he likes cilantro, he has muscles, he has a sciencey brain -- but none of that gives him a purpose. He goes into depressed undergrad party mode, in a silly hat, soaked in vodka, asking himself what the point of it all is.
But then he sees the ship's golden wall carved with the mission, the memory of the people before him who worked to get him this far, the children coming after him who are depending on him, and something shifts. His shoulders straighten. He takes a deep breath and tosses the little Earth-ball into the air. He understands very little yet, like a young adult just trying to join the flow of community and history. But Grace has found his adulthood.
After that he can face mortality, responsibility; he puts on his uniform; buries his crewmates. He can grieve them properly and face the future for Earth's sake. After that he's ready to try to meet the moment he's in, even though like all of us he knows now that he will die. And he is ready to meet and love the people different from him who will become his family, his final home. He has dealt with fear and loneliness and loss; he's ready for life. He's grown up.
@mockiery oh man the shifts marked by name changes are deep. Whether we rename ourselves or others do. And then the fact that the Eridians book-canonically use their word for “grace” to name him—he’s going to spend the rest of his life known as “generous mercy/gentle favor” and once he understands Eridian, that has to be transformative.
PROJECT HAIL MARY Two of Us | 2026
RYAN GOSLING as Ryland Grace Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Grace tries copying the tones using the keyboard.
Rocky hums. “Close. Skip first note.”
“Why? You always include that.”
“This means… of Rocky, possessive. Of the speaker.”
“My.”
“Correct. But only for names.”
“So you’re calling me…?”
Rocky repeats the word: “My Grace. Yes.”
a few people have asked for me to post this on ao3 so here you are!!! enjoy!! <33
What if Grace didn’t ask Rocky or the Eridians for the biodome, as in he was content with whatever they gave him and didn’t make any special requests. Instead, Rocky did research on his laptop about the best scenic locations on Earth, took note of what his friend Grace liked the most in the Don’t go crazy room, determined the exact amount of space a human would require to be happy and the perfect temperature of the sea and the wind and the fog and everything else. He also looked up the ancient custom of surprises in human tradition. After all, when they were first getting to know each other, Rocky filled the tunnel with Oxygen so Grace could breathe, so its not out of character for him to go to great lengths for Grace and that he could have the best possible life on Erid. The Eridians would be more than happy to help, because it meant respecting Rocky and Grace, the Eridian and the strange but kind alien that saved their planet and their lives. So imagine Ryland Grace expecting nothing when Rocky says “Come with me” and he is lead to a beautiful enclosure that has a house and the sea and everything he missed and yearned for. Things he never expected to see or feel or hear or touch or smell again. And he cries and hugs rocky and just feels the sand and runs and crawls and moves as fast as his spaceship-accustomed body will let him. Rocky knows to let him have his “moment” and stays quiet. He knows that Grace is happy, and if Grace is happy, so is Rocky.
i like when eridians describe grace in other-worldly, incorporeal, eldritch ways. that he's beautiful and terrifying at the same time. a horror you can't look away from because you don't want to miss a thing.
you can never get a clear listen to him. his primary sense node is covered in "hair" and the part that isn't is hidden by two crystals that refract sound waves in a pleasing but disorienting way. he covers his body in billowy cloth at all times. not snug and sensible and unobstructive like eridian coverings, but loose and layered, draped and flowing.
the most clear part of him are his internal organs. because yes, the alien's carapace isn't sound-proof. his single heart beats insistingly in his core, his lungs exchanging gas constantly, his long digestive tract always bubbling and contracting. his thorax is packed impossibly tight and it's all moving and singing.
and it shouldn't be possible, with how fragile he is, for that internal pressure to maintain. how does the thin membrane of his external organ (another horror that sends eridians reeling) keep it all contained? his "skin" is so easily pierced, cut, bruised, burnt, how does he not split open under his own mass?
when savior rocky first arrived home and described the environmental needs of his alien, the scientists thought he'd made a mistake in his frantic panic to get everything out. it isn't possible this being lives at such low atmospheric pressure, at half the gravity, and in a gas that's nearly double the weight of ammonia. in a gas so dangerous, so caustic. and if it does then how is it obligately terrestrial like rocky claims? shouldn't it fly or float instead? (and then to see it in the water, learning that it can float or sink at will.)
and this alien has come bearing gifts that will not only save your species but launch it into impossible heights of technological and intellectual advancement. he has discovered the solution to astrophage and bred it to thrive on threeworld and translated his instructions into eridian. he has given your people the complete sum of his people's knowledge, advanced in ways the eridians can't believe and behind in ways that seem ludicrous. and he has given his life for your people to have these things.
he knows how your solar system was formed. he knows how the universe started.
his name means beautiful and generous and relieving.
the eridians experiencing cosmic bliss.
be not afraid.
This is so cool. Great perspective. Beautifully written. Rbing w/ op's tags.
suddenly thinking about the courtroom scene, of Stratt being accused of pirating literally everything, and Grace later having everything in the various computers aboard his ship that he gave a copy to Rocky without issue, and the beetles having such a massive memory capacity and...
Stratt was a historian. She wasn't just pirating for the sake of entertainment for the astronauts, she was doing a full historical backup of the planet. Who knows how much knowledge and communications ability, how much art and culture and history, how much niche knowledge of how to make specific pieces of modern technology or modern medicines, was lost as the wars for resources isolated everyone, as the death tolls led to the deaths of specialized trade workers and scientists, as the power grids failing across the planet (or cut off, potentially) led to all the cloud servers going dark. Stratt was facing methods of combating extinction and she did her best to ensure that if/when the Hail Mary worked, it would send back not just the hope of the future in the solution to the astrophage, but the restoration of history and culture and knowledge.
Just.... she pirated everything, and put it all on the Hail Mary.
"been a long time since i've taken a pill from a stranger without knowing what it was" we do not talk about this enough. hello?? we must examine. when and why was ryland grace at the club
tho let's be clear, i don't think grace going to the club and doing some dodgy molly that he got off a stranger was a bad or traumatic experience for him or whatever, nor that this was a bad time in his life necessarily. perhaps he was having fun
what i'm starting to think is, the awkwardness and reticence and fear that grace displays might not be innate character traits - he wasn't always naturally like this - but may be a reaction to the way his thesis bombed and he was laughed out of academia. maybe he was more outgoing and social as a young adult and then as a reaction to his failure and rejection he curled in on himself. he still has some human connection with his students but tends to want to avoid peers who would know how he was shamed when his scientist career ended, in a "once bitten twice shy" kind of way
maybe that's why he blossoms so quickly once he's offered the chance at a truly fresh start with rocky
Love that the ultimate fantasy of Project Hail Mary is like… what if you were enough. What if just being you, and not anyone else, was enough?
Forget about being valued because you're the Only Man For The Job, or because you're exceptionally brave, or smart, or even lucky. That's a poisoned chalice.
What if there were somebody— a whole planet of somebodies— for whom being a middle school science teacher who likes the beach and is fundamentally kind was actually the most important thing in the world? What if you didn't have to worry about being the hero in the end? What if you could just be you?
with op's tags
Hey, remember how Grace became a pilot in the movie.
Because he did.
Grace looked Yáo in the face, told him that some people do not - cannot - rise to the occasion, and then he became the person to take Yáo's place when he wasn't there to claim it. Rocky could only fill the position of engineer, so Grace takes on two out of three critical roles on the Hail Mary crew. He doesn't whine or bargain or wring his hands. Grace isn't shown to have any opinion or feeling about it. The movie does not address it whatsoever.
Even when Rocky's anxiety drives him to smear Grace's inadequacy as a pilot in his face, Grace keeps practising. He could have done anything else, but he follows through, and does it so quietly the movie doesn't bother showing it to you. The tension comes not from whether he applied himself, but from what that accomplished.
The moment Grace switches over to manual controls over Adrian, we know. We don't think about it, but we know. "Not half bad," says the man who downplays his every achievement. "Full good," says the friend who has laid the continued existence of his civilisation in Grace's hands.
I cannot overstate to what degree Grace's skills as a pilot were absolutely crucial for the success of the mission. In the book it's a passing remark - a lot of calculations, some trial and error - but in the movie the thread spans most of the runtime: from his refusal to let an automated computer voice even imply that he could incidentally fill the role of a pilot, to putting on his white space suit to directly adress Stratt as the captain of the Hail Mary.
He doesn't just have two roles at the end, he claims them.
Grace becomes a pilot.
BuT tHeRe Is oN eRiD!! ☠️☠️☠️
I mean we probably should have seen this coming you gave me an easily aroace-interpreted highly likely touch starved probably ADHD man who somehow manages to win over project directors bodyguards dignitaries and aliens alike with his swagless cringefail slightly desperate yet somehow still charming rizz that lightens the air of every room he walks into because he learns everyone's names and gives credit to people for their contributions no matter how small and uses government funding to buy everyone on site their own bag of skittles as the world is ending while also maintaining a level of humility that is really just a window into how little he really thinks of his own abilities importance and himself in general to the point where he cries because he wishes he was more than he is and then you send him to space and gave him a genius engineer/inventor alien best friend with severe PTSD and survivors guilt who reached out first and got severely co-dependantly attached to him instantaneously due to how long he was isolated to the point where he prioritizes this man's comfort over his own literally making him an atmosphere he's safe in that is actively hostile to himself and then had them both individually almost die for each other save each other and then they save the literal stars because of the force of how much they care about each other and that relationship is platonic the whole time yet it's importance is never downplayed it's celebrated its the reason they succeed what did we expect to have happen this is my brand of everything