The Planktonic Lifestyle

A short-run series of comics about anthropomorphic fandom plankton. No longer updated, or at least don't count on it.

[planktonforlife]

I’ve been a tender being this whole time and I do not intend to stop now

[planktonforlife]

*groggy* what the fuck am i doing, where is the baguette i was promised

[onlyeasy-deactivated20190322]

Constellation print and map kimonos

[tanuki-kimono]

*History major heavy breathing*

[yaexrae]

Okay guys I know I’m reblogging this twice the same night, but CHECK OUT THIS STORE’S OTHER STUFF

Like, I just checked out the obi section and I saw all of the money flapping out of my wallet like little butterflies

Frog party riding a snake.  sweet

Skeleton party.  also sweet

Sea slugs!

Nautilus!

Fairies!

Alice in Wonderland!

Beauty and the Beast!

Holy shit it’s Jules Verne’s from the earth to the moon

Darwin?

Meme bird screaming into cup??

??KRAMPUS?????

[philliplight]

I’m at the Oregon coast for the week and we saw some sea lions today, so I was inspired to draw some seal…maids! 

[planktonforlife]

I love this so much. These are sea lions. These are EXACTLY sea lions.

[planktonforlife]

Portable Soothe

myNoise.net made this, and I want you to have it. I've heard how relaxing white noise is, but to me it always sounded harsh and made me feel more tense rather than less. This site will let you adjust the frequencies in white noise to your specific tastes and physiology and oh my fucking god, once you get it right for you it's like reaching into your brainstem and cranking the aggro meter down by about five clicks.

Please enjoy, for free. http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/whiteNoiseGenerator.php

If you have distracting neighbors or something you need to focus on or just need to chill, as long as you have the internet you can have this. It's perfect.

[planktonforlife]

Taken at the Seattle Aquarium. This is Zero, an approximately two-year-old male GPO. I told him to break it down and he did! Such vogueing.

...made slightly less fabulous by the fact that Tumblr rotated it, so just tip your head to the left.

[rhamphotheca]

A 6.6x image of a benthic fish egg cluster,

photo by Dr. Jaime Gomez-Gutierrez, Centro Interdisciplinario de Ciencias Marinas, Mexico. 

[planktonforlife]

Also plz enjoy that pretty blue blood there; not all fish have it. It's copper-based! Instead of hemoglobin, the metallic oxygen-carrying protein is called hemocyanin. Since it's free-floating in the blood instead of being incorporated into a cell, it oxygenates more easily. This is important--in low-oxygen water, like these benthic fish live in, maintaining the circulation needed tor hemoglobin requires more energy than the fish can spare. Hemocyanin carries less oxygen (one molecule) than hemoglobin (four) but it does it very efficiently.

It's only blue when it's oxygenated, though. Otherwise it's clear!

Octopuses have it too, and so do most other molluscs. Here's something neat about octopuses directly related to their hemocyanin: octopuses are musclebeasts. Really strong. An octopus can lift about three times its body weight, which is especially rad as hell without the bracing structure that a skeleton or exoskeleton provides. But...because hemocyanin doesn't carry much oxygen, it means those octopuses run out of gas quickly. Basically, they have shitty stamina.

And yeah, I'm pretty much mentioning this in the hopes of of humorously accurate tentacle porn. :)

^ runs the 3-minute mile if you get me

[iraffiruse]

[heyfunniest]

Omfg

[planktonforlife]

No finer use for Nicholas Cage has ever been devised.

[gifmovie]

[supaslim]

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.

Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.

The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

[christophool]

Reblogging for excellent commentary.

[secretelaborateplan-deactivated]

Why has nobody mentioned what’s happening in the original gif?

This is how orcas hunt - or, it’s one of the ways they do. They have a ton of tricks and techniques they use to fuck up everything below them on the food chain, and that gif portrays my personal favorite.

Orcas will literally BEACH THEMSELVES to grab unsuspecting seals (or whatever else happens to be splashing around in the surf) and snarf them down like hot dogs. Yeah, that’s right. This is a 6-ton apex predator, crashing right out of the fucking water to snatch their prey right off the beach. Any other animal that size would get stuck there and die, but do you see that fucker? He fucking wriggles right back into the surf. An orca can get all the way up onto dry land and still manage to wiggle their way back into the water to fuck up more shit on another day. There is literally no other sea-dwelling creature of comparative size with that ability - most sea animals lack the muscular strength to move without enough water supporting their weight.

Orcas have also been known to eat moose. Yeah, that’s right. Fucking MOOSE.

You don’t fuck with orcas.

[trucktiger]

IN THE UK THESE FUCKERS ARE ALSO KNOWN AS KILLER WHALES AND FOR GOOD REASON

[planktonforlife]

Orcas, good citizens: smart fuckers who talk shit and show off for their friends and kill for shits and grins. Like humans--but they do it all naked in 45-degree water. Kneel.

[planktonforlife]

Thoughts on Eridan's Butt

[planktonforlife]

but sometimes i have to fight huge bugs for them

they're jerks

[planktonforlife]

I had to jump on this after noticing Roxy's typo. And I am TOTALLY IN FAVOR.

[planktonforlife]

the best bed ever

oh yes1 i love water beds

i am kind of in one all the time but i'm sure yours is very nice

yes i like this one a lot it is nice and warm, perfect for princess type people like myself

it's a little dark though, i can fix it

PSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

now it's perfect

[planktonforlife]

FEFIBRANCH ADVENTURE TIME part 1

hi everybody1 i will answer all the questions soon but i wanted to show you what i have been doing lately

i got a fork and went south for a bit, it was lovely and cold down there

i stood on a lot of things and practiced being majestic so i'll know how to do it right when i grow up

i was practicing being majestic when i met somebody who did not think i was doing it right, even though i was trying my very hardest

i pretty much had to do this

it was very exciting. i had to have a nap afterward.

TO BE CONTINUED1111

[cyphercat]

Homestuck artists who would like to see somebody write fic for their art: take a look at the God Tier reverse bang.

The way it works is that you submit a piece of art (or a song you wrote, or an FST you put together) by March 4 and writers sign up to write a fic that goes with it. You can...

[planktonforlife]

our relationship is kinda complicated

[real-localwitch]

[asktheheiress]

((picture by the fabulous neitzarr!))

I can’t t)(ink of a betta PICTUR—-E to go to KATSUCON wit)(! After all, )(e makes a nice s)(ip. 38) GO FORT)(, GUPPY! MOV—E YOUR BASS!

S—EA YOU T)(—-ER———E!

((Haha enjoy this silly picture of my Feferi cosplay with Slinky, who runs ask-2ollux. Headed off to Katsucon, guys!! To spare you liveblogging/tracking/whatnot, I’ll be tweeting while I’m there, so keep an eye on dollwearspink. If you wanna find me/shoutout, whatever, hashtag #asktheheiress or @ me, and I’ll see if I can say hi!

I’m bringing my tablet, but I hiiighly doubt anything beyond sketches will be posted while I’m gone. Be back Monday! Have a GR—-EAT weekend, everyone!!))

[planktonforlife]

when i grow up i want to do this pretty much all the time