once upon a time

Something clever is supposed to go here but alas, I've procrastinated once again.

[wingbeifong-deactivated20160204]

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

Have I taught you nothing? Illegally watch it online off some random streaming site, silly goon.

Don’t you remember those very explicit and angry texts I spammed you with when I found out Movietube was getting sued? That was my go to! All these others one.. they’re not the same.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

My HBO Go isn’t fucked up. You are always welcome to come to my house to watch TV.

You sure? I tend to get messy when I get comfortable.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

Oh my god, yes. He was so good in it! I didn’t know he could act.

It was a surprise to all of us! Just kidding, Danny’s pretty much good at everything he tries.. it’s so unfair.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

What’s Teen Wolf? Danny’s on it?

I’m actually not surprised you don’t even know. You fell asleep when I tried to make you watch it with me the first time!

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

Who is your boyfriend again?

Danny? Daniel Mays? Singer, Youtube Artist.. I can keep describing him but if you don’t know who he is by now there’s really no point.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

All I get from that is that you love watching me. I don’t blame you.

Get hurt, how are you missing the most important part of that statement? 

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

One: never call me babygirl ever again. Two: The fact that you called me repulsive is clearly a joke because my sister and I are definitely on the list of top aesthetically pleasing people in this town.

You didn’t like it? I’ll make sure to do it more often. And just because you’re aesthetically pleasing doesn’t mean you can’t be repulsive. 

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

How could I ever say no to you? I’ll save the sayings for our date. It’ll be great, I’m already planning it out in my head. 

The answer to that is you can’t. You can say no to me as much as I can say no to you, let’s put it at that. Really? Do I get to know what we’re doing or where we’re going?

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

Send me his address. I’ll do it right now. 

So wait, you’re not scared of what this guy could do to you or that he has a gun but you’re scared when one of your floozies comes and says hi when we’re together. That makes sense.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

They just do. You making fun of my family now?

Making fun of you if you’re the short one actually.

[platinumuses]

I feel like I did nothing with my summer and now it’s done. Anyone want to whisk me away? I’ll let you have control over the radio, maybe.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

Or just a club for drunk minors who will do anything for booze including spending a lot of money! I apologize to the fake goldfish and their figurative feelings then. Only if it actually is your birthday.

That just sounds like a place for the people Chris Hansen talks to to go to afterhours! I’m sure they appreciate the apology but would enjoy seeing the light of day more. Do I need to provide physical proof? I’d have to ask my mom for my birth certificate.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

I’m a fucking joy to be around. Deal with it.

You’re fucking delusional is what you are.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

Cold. Guess again. 

Cold!? Mr. Osborne you’re kind of a manslut. Are you sure you’ll even have energy to come to my kinky playdate? Ten? That’s a pretty round number.

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

What if it was, hypothetically, your xbox?

If it was my xbox you’d go down faster than the Titanic which now that I’m thinking about it didn’t go down fast but you know what I mean!

[platinumuses]

titaniumuses:

I’m great at lying, shut up! It is. Kidnapping people is not widely accepted. Sorry to break it to you - but who knows maybe she’ll pick up some Stockholm Syndrome and love you eventually. 

I could see right through you! Your eyes went all beady and they were darting everything, come on that’s a no no. You learn that the first day in Lying 101. Fingers crossed then if that’s my only option!