That Which You Love
The stone demands a sacrifice.
You must lose that which you love.
A soul for a soul.
That was what the stonekeeper had said, and that was what kept echoing through Loki’s mind as they sat there next to their sister, a thousand emotions running through their mind as they considered their options.
On the one hand, they could just go back empty handed. Figure out a different way to get the Soul stone. There had to be one. The stone hadn’t always been on Vormir. It was just a matter of finding out when it hadn’t been and using the mortals’ so-called Pym particles to travel back and get it.
And on the other hand...
Loki didn’t want to think about that.
They glanced over at their sister briefly, and saw that her expression was almost a mirror of their own, gaze purposely trained forward, and lips pressed together into a thin line, undoubtedly just as lost in thought as they were.
In a poor attempt to lighten the mood, Loki nudged their knee against hers, turning slightly to properly look at her. “Hey.”
Hela didn’t answer, hardly even registered them. She was still fixated on some point far in the distance, expression unreadable.
Loki didn’t like that.
“Come on. We’re going back to the ship. We’ll find another way to get the Soul stone.” But Loki didn’t move a muscle to get up, and neither did Hela.
“You know that there isn’t one.” Hela’s voice was devastatingly resigned, and Loki was almost certain that they could see tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke.
And then it hit them.
“Hela…” they tried, but their voice came out cracked with emotion, and hardly above a whisper.
“It has to be me.” Her voice was surprisingly calm and even, in a way that tugged at Loki’s heartstrings as she spoke. “You know it. I know it. Most of the team doesn’t trust me yet, even Thor is still wary about having me around. You have to let me do this. Please.”
“No. It’s out of the question.” Loki couldn’t help the burning tears that were starting to blur their vision, and they reached for Hela’s hand, but she jerked it away, a motion that hurt Loki more than her resignation, and for a moment, they just stared at her, unable to say anything. And then they took a deep breath, steeling themself. “…I’ll do it.”
Hela jerked her head up to look at them, and for the first time, Loki could clearly see the tears streaked down her face. “Are you mad? Have you absolutely lost it?” She looked angry, but Loki was, too.
“I’m not watching my sister jump over the side of that cliff!”
“And I’m not watching my baby brother do it, either!”
For a few tense moments, they stared at each other, chests heaving raggedly and shoulders shaking with sobs neither of them could quite hold back. Neither was willing to budge on the matter, and the both of them knew it. They were stuck at an impasse, and neither would accept the other’s sacrifice. So instead, they just sat there, staring at each other, the silence continuing on for an unbearably long amount of time.
And then Hela leapt to her feet, attempting to bolt past Loki, but before she could even make it past them, Loki had grabbed her arm, yanking her back and pulling her into a hug so she couldn’t get out of their grip.
“Hela, listen to me. You don’t have to do this. Please don’t do this.” They cupped her face, trying to get her to look at them as they turned the both of them around, so that they were the one closer to the cliff now. “We’ll find another way. We’ll find another way. Please.” They were sobbing so hard that their entire body was trembling. “Hela, please…”
Hela looked back at them, her own body wracking with sobs. “You have to let me do this, Loki, you have to…”
Loki shook their head. “No. You’re not doing this. You’re going to be okay. Do you hear me? You’re going to be okay.” They carefully cupped her little face, and just pressed their forehead to hers for a good, long while, trying to calm the both of them down before they shifted enough so that they could press the gentlest of kisses to her forehead. “Tell Thor I love him.”
Before Hela could even register what had happened, Loki had pushed her back, hard enough so that she lost her balance, arms pinwheeling before she landed on the ground. She felt like she was watching in slow motion as Loki looked at her with the most regretful expression as they turned and started to run for the edge of the cliff. Knowing she had to move as quickly as she could, Hela was on her feet in the next second, lunging for Loki and colliding with their legs, successfully knocking the both of them to the ground.
“Loki, don’t, it has to be me! Let me do this for them. Let me do this for you!”
Loki was immediately trying to worm their way out of her grip, kicking and flailing in hopes of getting her to loosen her grip. “I can’t! I. Can’t.”
With Loki squirming so determinedly, Hela was running out of options and quickly as she began to lose her grip, and so, being careful not to hurt them in the process, she summoned a dagger and dug it into their cape, pinning them to the ground as she stood and made another try at getting to the edge.
But Loki was too fast, and grabbed her ankle, bringing her down hard as they kicked at the dagger to get themself free. “Hela, stop this. Stop it.”
“I can’t watch you die, Loki! Please don’t make me do that. Not again, please.” Hela was still sobbing as she tried to kick at Loki’s hand around her leg. “Please, I can’t bear watching that again, please.”
By now, Loki had managed to get themself free and, rather than try to get up and run, and risk Hela getting up and trying to stop them again, Loki settled for dragging her back a few feet while carefully maneuvering themself so that they were between the cliff and her. They said nothing as Hela continued to sob, knowing it would be easier, the less that they said.
“Loki. Loki. Loki, you know they all like you more than they like me… They won’t even miss me. They won’t even miss me!”
“I will! I’ll miss you. And I can’t go through that again. Please understand that, sister.” And with that, they jumped to their feet quickly and turned to make a run for it again, but Hela had been waiting for the moment they let go, and was up just as quickly, and this time, rather than run for them, she ran for the cliff instead, hoping if she got there first and jumped, Loki would have no choice but to stop.
“Loki, I’m sorry…” As she passed them, she steeled herself and jumped, breath catching in her throat as she felt nothing but air beneath her feet.
And then she felt something grip her wrist, and she slammed into the side of the cliff, Loki’s grip around her wrist the only thing keeping her from falling the rest of the way down.
“Hela… Please…” Loki sobbed from above her, and she turned her head to look up at them with blurred vision. “Please…” They started trying to pull her back over the edge of the cliff, but Hela knew what she had to do, no matter how much it was going to hurt the both of them.
And so with a deep breath, she summoned another dagger, keeping her gaze locked on Loki’s. “I love you, little star…”
And with that, she dug the dagger into Loki’s arm, and just as she’d hoped, the momentary shock of it caused Loki to startle, enough so that she could wriggle out of their slackened grip. With nothing but air between her and the ground now, Hela kept her gaze focused on Loki, breath coming in hyperventilating sobs as she picked up speed. She needed them to be the last thing she saw. Needed them to know this was her choice.
Loki could only watch helplessly as everything unfolded before them, her name a hoarse, raw scream on their lips. When she hit the ground, they had to look away, burying their face in their shoulder as sobs wracked their entire body so hard that they ended up collapsed on the ground, crying for their sister over and over again.
They didn’t even notice that something was happening behind, proof that the soul stone’s requirement had been met and that they had been successful. In the moments that followed, leaving them waking up in a body water without comprehending when they had fallen unconscious, the reality of what had happened set in, and as they felt the weight of the soul stone in the palm of their hand, the gravity of it all settled over them, and they completely broke down, chest heaving with desperate, screaming sobs as they grieved for their sister, crying until they had no more tears to cry, and they were left dry heaving and gagging on their hollow sobs.
Hela had made the ultimate sacrifice, for half the universe, for people that she didn’t even care about, and that didn’t particularly care one way or the other for her, and while Loki knew they would have to be getting back to the ship to get the stone back to earth, for the moment, all they could do was crumple into a ball, and mourn the loss of their sister, and hope that it hadn’t been for nothing.
