a stone cold bitch with ice water in my veins

at this point i'm just a sad bisexual mess | @theatricellie on tiktok | broadway and the politician content mostly

[tvoj-narkotik]

Mood

[platthobart]

me af

[platthobart]

shoulders like a queen, hips like a whore

and that’s on horse girl.

[platthobart]

MY BODY IS NOT A TEMPLE

it’s more like a bar and grill

[holmesapothecary]

Teach them how to say goodbye To say goodbye, say goodbye One last time

-Hamilton the Musical 

[platthobart]

this has no right to hit me in the feels as hard as it did 

[cvltura]

i hate that no one's talking about The Politician 'cause it has trans actors, and disabled actors playing disabled characters, and genuinely good bi representation and MAN THE SOUNTRACK SLAPS

[galmiahthepigeon]

The Politician: That’s what gays do, munch butts and celebrate Halloween

Us:

[platthobart]

newsies in 2019

Race: HEY! THAT’S MY JUUL

[platthobart]

most underrated song of musicals

Dear Evan Hansen: If I Could Tell her

Book of Mormon: I Am Africa

Six: No Way

Newsies: Once And For All

Falsettos: You Gotta Die Sometime

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie: The Wall in My Head

In The Heights: Piragua

Hadestown: Our Lady of the Underground

The Last Five Years: A Summer in Ohio

Come From Away: Darkness and Trees

Spring Awakening: The Dark I Know Well

Rent: Santa Fe

Waitress: Never Ever Getting Rid of Me

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: Pierre

Should I do a part 2?

[platthobart]

i’m breaking [way] down [hadestown]

[platthobart]

hi

i’d just like to say that i’d do literally anything to hear idina menzel sing “so big/so small”

[platthobart]

now it’s my turn to badly explain some musical songs

28 Hours/Wherever We Are (Come From Away): imagine dating someone with the same name as you lol

I Don’t Need Your Love (Six): Which Schuyler sister is this??

A Summer in Ohio (TL5Y): Sorry Ohioans this is just a straight up roast but who cares honestly because Anna Kendrick is a GODDESS

You And Me (But Mostly Me) (Book of Mormon): When you have to do the entire group project by yourself

Hard To Be The Bard (Something Rotten): by FAR Christian Borle’s most underrated performance

Pierre (Great Comet): *insert middle-aged Russian man bitching about some serious teen angst issues*

What You Own (Rent): *teen angst by grown men part two*

Mama Who Bore Me Reprise (Spring Awakening): *teen angst by actual teens?????*

Cell Block Tango (Chicago): Ex-Wives but sexy

Why We Build The Wall (Hadestown): Dear god I hope this is not a political statement

Papi Hears The Ocean (The Band’s Visit): The most!!! relatable shit!! Ever!! Because girls!!

Work of Art (ETAJ): Wow Miss Hedge is a bitch

It Won’t Be Long Now (In The Heights): Did you mean: every high school theatre kid fantasizing about moving to NYC (except apparently vanessa is already there??)

Never Ever Getting Rid of Me (Waitress): This is the theatre equivalent of Ben Platt’s Share Your Address

I’m Breaking Down (Falsettos): can somEONE PLEASE GIVE THIS POOR WOMAN A HUG

The World Will Know (Newsies): H a t s. Think long and hard about it, jack. 

The Gods Love Nubia (Aida): THIS IS VOCAL HEAVEN IDC WHAT Y’ALL HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT HEATHER HEADLEY PLEASE ADOPT ME

Land of Lola (Kinky Boots): Is this James Charles at Coachella??

Whipped Into Shape (Legally Blonde): You can lose 20 pounds just by listening to this lmao

Pretty Funny (Dogfight): STOP MAKING ME CRY LINDSAY MENDEZ EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE A PERFECT HUMAN BEING AND I LOVE YOU V MUCH

I Resolve (She Loves Me): YAS GIRL y’all don’t need a manz bringing y’all down!

[platthobart]

taking a standardized state test

brain: i’m gonna do it

me: don’t you dare-

brain: i’m gonna do it and yoU CAN’T FUCKING STOP ME

me: heY I SAID NO-

brain: LISTEN UP LET ME TELL YOU A ST O O R Y a story that you think you’ve GOT NOTHING TO SAY IM NOT GOING AWAY THERE’S NOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAYYYYY  w O w ANNE WAY TO MAKE THE COUNTRY HATE YOU  M A T E what was i meant to do??????? soRRY NOT SORRY- my looooooooooooooooooooveeeeeeeee is set in  s t o n e [sharp pause] yyyYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH DAS IST GUT OOO JAAAA okay ladies, let’s get in reformatioN  T A L L  L A R G E  H E N R Y  T H E  E I G H T H supremeheadofthechruchofengland it’s time to rise a-b-o-o-o-OOOOOOOOVE!! it’s NOT WHAT went down in his-tor-yyyyy but toNIGHT IM SINGING THIIIIIIIIIS FOR MEEEEE WE’RE ONE OF A KIND NO CATEGORY TWO MANY YEARS LOST IN HIS STORY WE’RE FREEEEE TO TAKE OUR CROWNING GLORY FOR FIVE!!!! MORE!!!! MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we’re SIX SIX!!!!!!

[platthobart]

...and that’s the tea, sis,

[platthobart]

screw hogwarts houses

i wanna know which queen from SIX identifies with your soul 

[platthobart]

ok but like,, if you think about it,,

DIVORCED: Catherine of Aragon and Anna of Cleves were (based on their songs at least) the badassiest of all these badass women. Honestly, the amount of BDE from these two is enough to send someone into cardiac arrest.

BEHEADED: Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard (again, based on their songs, at least) were the flirtatious ones. It was more of a way of life for Howard, whereas Boleyn used it for revenge.

DIED/SURVIVED: Among these six incredible, strong women, Jane Seymour and Catherine Parr were the most level-headed and rational (SERIOUSLY I AM JUST GOING OFF OF THE SONGS/CHARACTERS HERE DON’T @ ME). They were the backbones of the queens and probably the best role models.

[platthobart]

anna of cleves

more like anna of cleavage because my girl has big tit energy and honestly?? WE STAN A QUEEN (literally)

[platthobart]

SIX queens as zodiac signs

Catherine of Aragon- Taurus, Pisces

Anne Boleyn- Libra, Gemini

Jane Seymour- Cancer, Virgo

Anna of Cleves- Scorpio, Sagittarius

Katherine Howard- Leo, Aries

Catherine Parr- Aquarius, Capricorn