hey so a bunch of people have taken this post as an opportunity to decry interpreting media sexually/suggestively at all and it’s pissing me off. joining the war on eroticism on the side of eroticism. #ThatCigaretteIsAPenis
goin' back to ships where I love every possible dynamic and permutation because of That Nonsense and just. goddamn primeverse tfp switchy megastar fuckery does something to me.
the size difference. the immesely fucked up Problematique power disparity. the blatantly abusive dynamic (coupled with hints that maybe, just maybe, once upon a time, they had a chance at being the greatest, um, genocidal war criminal power-couple the universe has ever seen!)
megatron is sooooooooo powerbottom coded in my head. I need him to ride starscream until he literally breaks his poor twiggy flyboy's hip - all while loudly moaning the name of Optimus Prime.
but I also need him to smirk like the devil as he obliterates that skinny twink with his spike (which is half the size of starscream's torso and stretches him so wide and deep starscream feels it in his tanks). overstimulating starscream into a shivering, drooling wreck every other day-cycle won't fix him. probably. but it can't hurt, right???
and I need starscream to get the upper hand once in a blue moon and eat megatron's valve until he makes his huge buff beefcake boss whimper (he almost drowns down there, especially when Megatron squeezes those thick, armour-crushing thighs - but that's another story).
and I need starscream to teasingly sashay up to megatron while he's sprawled on his throne, then climb onto his lap and ride his spike while his claws glide juuuuuust a little too close to the vital energon lines in megatron's throat!!!
and I need megatron to be awful and abusive and brutal, a monster starscream needs to escape
and I need that to be true, while starscream is also a terrible person who will leap at any chance to flip their dynamic on their head and repay all of megatron's abuse tenfold
and I need starscream to kill megatron and walk away without looking back
and I need starscream (the ultimate coward!) to run towards the Omega Lock and his dead 'Master', screaming for him with such broken-hearted devotion
and I need them both to be hurt survivors who grow and learn and heal just not necessarily together because they're awful for each other
I love your Starfire comic so much, and I’m so hyped for the next pages. …. But um… I can’t.. help.. but keep thinking… how the hell Screamer can handle his husband— the train wouldn’t fit in the tunnel, t.. the snake wouldn’t fit in the rabbit hole- I. UM. STAR WOULD LITERALLY BE SPLIT IN HALF—
…
wait unless the implication is that it’s actually Sky is the one.. who… OHHH??
lskdfgjsdsdf they switch!!!
but don't worry about Starscream's poor valve. I have a THEORY.
buckle up kids, and stay tuned for Bougie's Brilliant Plan Of How Starscream Can Take That Giant Dick.
You see, Starscream is definitely a valve mech who doesn't particularly enjoy using his spike (and Skyfire wouldn't feel it anyway, let's be real... hotdogs tossed down hallways, and all that). But he has an arm! So, Skyfire can get fucked when he wants that.
Overall though, Starscream prefers to take it rather than give it. Skyfire usually uses his fingers or his tongue. Non-penetrative sex, for the win!
As for Skyfire... he isn't picky about stimulation at all, and likes using his spike and valve equally (and his mouth. Starscream sitting on his face is a massive W for all involved!)
But he was SO FUCKING NERVOUS when Star first suggested that Skyfire put his spike (as opposed to just a single finger) in him. Eventually, he was faffing about and fretting so much that Starscream rolled his eyes, flipped the big mech onto his back, and gingerly wriggled down...
This is Star 'size queen' Scream we're talking about!
Starscream, who absolutely will go on in later life to take one look at the hulking giant that is Megatron and say 'yeah I could take him. in a fight haha' (he does not mean in a fight.)
Which is to say... He splits his fucking pelvis in half along the transformation seams.
Literally expanding his body around Skyfire's gargantuan cock. Whining through his teeth, brows set in furious determination, as the flexible inner mesh of his valve is stretched so wide his exoskeleton HAS to break apart to make way....
The end result is him sat on Skyfire's lap, gasping, eyes rolled back, completely unable to do anything but squirm. He's shrink-wrapping that dick. Stuffed like a clown-car. His legs twitch like Skyfire's delivering a thousand little electric shocks every time he moves. His abdominal and pelvic plating have snapped apart in a very body-horror-esque way, revealing the swollen protoform beneath - all while Skyfire jizzes in absolute shock.
It's hot. It's kinda gross. It feels amazing. It looks horrifying. They do it again immediately.
Every day I am in complete and utter awe at how deeply ingrained into transformers as a franchise robotfucking is. G1 had two different episodes about cybertronian x human pairings. At least one dude on the beast wars animation team wanted to fuck dinobot enough to lovingly render him posing with his spike out, blackarachnia's design was based off a stripper, and they wrote rattrap as a shameless pervert. RiD 2001 had Sideburn and his only personality trait was being horny all the fucking time. TFA Blackarachnia was somehow hornier than the original and it felt like Some Gay Shit happened about every 20 minutes in that show. The entire team for TFP agreed knockout was the sexiest robot they'd ever fucking seen and decided to let him try to seduce half the cast, and then casually canonize the word "interfacing" as slang for sex, AND THEN steve blum decided to play starscream like its the porn parody of the actual show. Half of rescue bots feels like slow burn human x cybertronian gay fanfic. IDW not only knows you want to fuck those robots but actively encourages you to fuck those robots because Alex Milne keeps dropping softcore robot porn zines at cons. I haven't finished earthspark but I know that dad wanted bumblebee's dick like crazy and the only reason he hasn't pursued it is because he's happily married.
Literally the only tf show I've seen that ISNT that horny is cyberverse, and that show is still ASTOUNDINGLY gay.
I'll be reading valveplug fics, and any and all shame I would usually feel at sexualizing cartoon robots is evaporated when i remember that a nonzero amount of people working for hasbro are sexualizing the robots too. They're hot by design, your honor.
so tired of these robochasers on downlowd, they keep sayin shit like "let me into that chassis and mess w ur wires" and "i wanna grease you up" like 1) are you going to put in the work to rewire me if you fuck anything up while youre in there, 2) are you going to bring your own antistatic bracelet?, and 3) do you know how to safely grease me without it getting onto my more fragile components?
this is another thing that pisses me off about robochasers. they see us as objects and think they have a right to our chassis by default. we are autonomous beings and have fought decades long legal battles for our right to be recognized as sentient, thinking beings with self-determination
you can’t jokingly post about kinky shit on tumblr because you say smth like “haha wouldn’t it be hot if you…tried to launch internet explorer…but it wouldn’t load :D”
and then you’ll get one thousand robot girls in the notes going “mmngngnnghhhngn”
Old-ish commission of Starscream and someone’s anonymous mech character (can be considered a self-insert ig). They communicate with memes, beeps, and boops. Hopefully Starscream’s insides aren’t ruined…
Check me out on Twitter (where NS*W isn’t banned): https://twitter.com/camgetslewd