Bill (Professional Henchman), wearing a black medical face mask, standing guard against a door: *to himself* "God I hate morning patrols. At least when I'm not on night patrol I'm not getting hit by Batman....Although I do have to wake up early so I might actually prefer getting hit by Batman."
Random Henchman (face exposed): *comes down the stairs* "Hey, man, Boss just called and said I'm gonna be guarding the door with you tonight."
Bill: "Sounds good. Whoa hey- where...where's your mask, man?"
Random Henchman: "Ex..excuse me?"
Bill: "Last time I checked we're still in the middle of a fucking pandemic, man. There's a mask mandate. Where's your fuckin' mask?"
RH: "Are you kidding?? Who fucking cares if there's a mask mandate, man. We're villains! We're henchmen, we're evil - we break the law all the time! It's literally our job!
Bill: "We're villains and we break the law, but we're not fuckin stupid. We still listen to science."
Bill: "What the actual fuck are you talk- we're working for a super scientist right now! That is Mr. Freeze in there!"
RH: "Don't be so fuckin' paranoid."
Bill: *closes eyes* "Tell me that a henchman in Gotham City did not just tell me to not be paranoid!!"
RH: "Fuckin' whatever. Still not wearing a mask, dude."
Bill: "Yes, the fuck you are! Or Imma report your ass to the Goonion!"
RH: "Fucking come on! Seriously, dude?"
Bill: "Absolutely! I am more concerned about my and everyone else's safety than your fuckin' friendship. Go put on a mask or you're getting reported, asshole."
RH: "Fine. Fuck." *turns around* "God, you're a prick."
Bill: *calls after him sarcastically* "I'm sorry for caring about the people around me, you fucking heartless asshole!"
Bill: *mutters indistinctly to himself* "...don't even like wearing these things...get this shit over with..."
Bill: *muttering again* "...fuckin' vaccinated, Jesus...for christ's sake..."
Bill: "...he go buy one from the 7/11? Where the fuck is he?"
RH: *coming back down* "I got a mask you fuckin' asshole."
Bill: "It's about fuckin ti...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"
RH: *wearing a Cobra Commander full face helmet* "What? You said a mask! This is a mask!"
Bill: "You know good and goddamn well I meant a face mask!"
RH: "Sor-ry, but I don't carry medical grade face masks everywhere that I go!"
Bill: "Yeah, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable than having a- why do you have that?"
RH: "I'm a hench for hire okay? The Goonion sends me wherever I need to go and the last place I went was goddamn Cobra headquarters in Springfield!"
Bill: "That's from a another villain's henchman? That's even more reason you can't fucking wear it!"
RH: "D'you want me to wear a fucking mask or not??"
Bill: "I will just loan you a mask! Just take the helmet off!"
RH: "You mean you made me go through all this and you could have just loaned me a mask this entire fuckin time?"
Bill: "You're on year two of this motherfucker! Everyone has a mask! I did not think I was going to need to get you one or you were going to wear a fucking Cobra helmet! Take it off!"
RH: "Fine! Fuck. Goddamn it." *moves to take it off*
Bill: *mutters in disbelief* "Un-fucking-believable."
RH: *struggles with helmet, grunting*
Bill: *eyeroll* "What fuckin' now?"
RH: *muffled* "It's stuck."
RH: *frustrated groan* "It's fucking stuck, okay?"
Bill: *shakes head in disbelief* "How did you make it out of training?"
RH: *more frustrated groaning* "Are you gonna fucking help or not?"
Bill: "Fuck. Here." *pulls down helmet and feels around it* "There's a latch in the back."
RH: *grunt of approval* "There you go. Think you got it."
Bill: *stands back* "Alright. There. Jeez-"
RH: *pulls off helmet to reveal Red Hood helmet underneath* "Awesome. Thank you."
Bill: "Fuck!!!" *stumbles back and runs*
Red Hood: *to himself* "Nice to know they're at least staying safe. Welp." *cocks gun* "Time to fix that."]
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