Things that Tim Drake did while Sleep Deprived:
Cradled Titus’s snout in his hands and whispered whilst sobbing, “You are so important. You are the backbone of this family.”
Was found crouched like a gargoyle on the kitchen counter at 4 am scooping Nutella out of the jar with his bare fingers.
He was muttering unintelligibly under his breath through mouthfuls of the stuff.
Stephanie, who got up for an innocent early-morning snack, was found nearby, huddled in the corner and brandishing a spatula.
“Steph–?”
“I’ll hold him off. Run while you still can.”
Rested his forehead on the counter, sobbing about how Alfred is his ‘rock’.
“Is he talking about the man or the cat?”
“I mean, either way…”
Accidentally donned Batgirl’s costume for patrol.
No one said anything.
The GCPD didn’t even notice.
But he totally made those boots work.
Poured three bottles of Five-Hour Energy into his coffee and toasted everyone as he deadpanned, “I hope this kills me.”
Slipped into a mini-coma after the fact.
Leaned down to comfort the thugs he and his siblings had just beaten up with a soft ‘it be like that sometimes’.
Impulsively bought out the entire stock of Hostess snack cakes from a local grocery store.
Proceeded to place all of them
All of them
In various kitchen appliances because he couldn’t be bothered to stick them in the pantry.
Jason had to dump sixteen individually-wrapped Ding-Dongs out of the blender before he could make his morning protein shake.
And when Alfred opened the oven the next morning to make a quiche……
Went missing for twenty-one hours straight.
Bruce found him in the chimney.
He’d found a secret entrance to the attic. It’s his go-to hiding place now, and no one else dares to go near it. Unless they need an emergency snack.
Who even knows how many Twinkies are stashed up there.
Called Bart to tearfully apologize for eating all his pizza rolls.
Three years ago.
“That was yOU!?”
Accidentally shot his grappling line through a twelfth-story window.
It took out a potted plant, a laptop computer, and an employee’s toupee.
Looked at the window. Looked at the grapple gun.
Softly whispered, “Oops.”
Built a blanket fort in the Cave.
Stole all of Dick’s fluffiest fleece blankets. And all of Steph’s pillows. He even took Jason’s teddy bear.
“W-What? Pssh, no, I’ve never seen that thing before in my life!”
“Oh. Well, in that case, we’ll let Titus–”
“Hand me the bear before I rip out your spleen.”
Caused an international incident by ‘accidentally’ breaking into the Biyalian Embassy.
He thought it was the Cave.
“Tim, I don’t even want to know.”
“Y’know, cause it’s all dark and smells like years of unaddressed inner turmoil–”
“Hilarious. Dick, come get your brother, I need to make a few calls.”
Poured ketchup on his waffles.
Proceeded to devour them while Steph looked on in abject horror.
Showed up at Red Robin (the restaurant) to ask for a free burger.
Threatened to sue for copyright infringement when he was denied.
Escorted from the premises by three Even More Tired employees.
And Cass.
