tired. @plsdontrefertomeatall - Tumblr Blog

on finding love everywhere you look <3

on usefulness. on becoming both the blade and the lamb

tumblr user @/divorcefemme // Anaïs Nin // tumblr user @/willowcrowned // Mitski, “I Don’t Smoke” // Lilith Kerr, "bite back" (from unloving the knife)

acutelesbian

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

fat-thin-skinny

this fucks me up every single time

acutelesbian

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

conceitedtrash

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now

achillesinhighheels

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

galactic-mayhem

saw this on pinterest but i think it belongs here too

vinnie-vindictive

this will never not be important

jjadmanii

michaela going from “blablabla proper name place name backstory stuff” to “part 34 of who tf did i marry” 😭😭😭

thesingingknives

The reason fiction is so good at moving around in time — compressing or expanding normal, linear time — is that our creative minds are not linear. We are always simultaneously journeying between past and future. The present is often provisional — we don’t understand it till it’s over.

Fiction works with this truth about our non-linear minds. So does poetry, that might take a single memory or insight and hold it for us so that it seems to stretch across far more time than the space it occupies.

Memory is not just ‘what has happened’ in the strict and factual sense. Two people in the same place at the same time will remember differently, not because we are unreliable narrators at a crime scene, but because what is significant means something different to us all.

A memory is not an artifact in a glass case at a museum. What is important about the memory changes as we do — a memory might fade, strengthen, suddenly return. It’s a dynamic process.

Our own memories are not orderly. They/we are not alphabetical.

Memories don’t sit chronologically like a diary entry. Memories sit side by side according to emotional resonance. This is why something that happened yesterday will trigger something that happened five — or fifty — years ago.

—Jeanette Winterson, from One Aladdin Two Lamps (Grove Press, 2025)

vellichnora

nadielle

— The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis.

cataclysmictide

in my head you're alive and we sit down for dinner and talk it all out

1-jar-of-stars

On Friendship.

coffeepeople

I know it goes against everything we've ever been taught, but we do need to put in the work to realize that being ugly is...completely fine. like entirely neutral. so is being conventionally attractive. neutral. not just for other people, but for ourselves. you need to be able to look at yourself and see what you perceive to be physical flaws and go "this is okay, this is the least important part of who I am." It's so beyond okay and normal and fine to be ugly. And I know! Easier said than done. But I do genuinely believe that freedom from looking into the mirror and hating yourself is a worthy goal. Freedom from judging a person immediately based off of their appearance is a worthy goal. Freedom from buying the thousands of products they try and tell you will make you perfect, as if that should be the aim and goal, is a worthy goal.

lassie-farce

the artemis ii mission reminds me why i love humanity so much. they play pink pony club for the astronauts. they have issues with microsoft outlook. one of the astronauts named a moon crater after his late wife. a jar of nutella just flew by. they make 67 memes because they’re big nerds with huge hearts who say that we look beautiful from there. they call dibs on sleeping arrangements and the mission specialist likes sleeping like a bat. the pilot’s daughter shows her dad off on her social media.

dunno just sometimes helps to think that we can do things like that.