read more for my thought process+mental state if you want.
saki ... is a lot like i was in high school. even now, in my mid 20s, i get the urge to destroy every single relationship i have and for what?? i don't actually want that! i still struggle with bringing this up to any therapist in a coherent way. it's almost certainty a form of self harm. the human brain is one fucked up organ that's for sure.
when one of my best friends (someone i did try very hard to push away due to my own mentally unwell reasons, but only by finding any excuse to cut people from my life) mentioned tomori was his favorite, i was just stewing and stewing. i don't know if he overthinks it as much as i do but it has been on my mind. i was a major handful and it didn't have to be that way if i just had more support from home.
sure, it's another excuse, but oh my god can you imagine how better off i'd be if i was allowed to see a therapist after one of the most traumatic things in my life (death of the first real friend i made)? and then when i was struggling with what i now know was extremely ignored (at many points willingly) neurodivergencies. in that way, i also resonate with tomori and the way she kept to herself because god how else do you function in a world that doesn't try to understand you?
i regret the way i was even if its been nearly a decade. im glad things are better now but its still a chip i have on my shoulder.
i was going through it. a lot. the last month or whatever definitely a contender for worst time of my life, but i drew something today and i think i can be proud of that much
yousharknotpass
tangentwithtanner
gamechangershow
gummygunk