About You

aspiring writer, long-lived dreamer

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“ It’s getting to the point where I look down at my hands and I’m wondering why I’m doing this ”

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I think- i think it’s all a state of mind

That intertwines with past history

And if you really believe that you’re going to get hurt

You will.

You will find every excuse

Every dark turn

To hurt your little heart again.

-GG//experts from a book I’ll never write//[2/00]

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You say, how amazing I am

but you're not there

When I'm on the bathroom floor

Wondering why I'm suddenly not good enough

Contemplating whether it's worth it or not

You're not there

When the words inside my head become too loud to bear

And I break off into the stars of the cold night

-GG// experts from a book I'll never write // R[2/00] (via pnguintroll708)

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"Being ignored your whole life really takes a toll on you" she said with melancholic eyes. "What you say doesn't matter. Being talked over, your friends continue laughing at some joke they decided was necessary to crack as you began to speak." Breaking down on disconsolate car seats, leather pushed up against your back but all you feel is the complete emptiness and silence, "You begin to realize; yourself as a whole, as an extraordinary being, doesn't matter. What you do or say- it all just doesn't matter." This goes on for days, months, and even years. Living but barely existing.. is that really any way to live?

-GG// experts from a book I'll never write // [1/00] (via pnguintroll708)

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I think it was your laugh. How you'd just turn towards me and we'd burst into fits of unconditional laughing. How you'd tell me to stay and whisper sweet words of pillowtalk to my ears. Little nibbles on bare skin, utopia rushing in our veins. The way your hand would glide over mine as you'd ever so massage it. drive me crazy from the tingle in your touch or maybe the marijuana in our lungs killing brain cells. Our bodies melded together up until the point i'd have to leave and feel the cold pavement under my feet. That's when I realized; that the minute your lips parted into a grand smile and the noise of your mello laugh filled the car, that's when I knew there was no turning back from here.

-GG// experts from a book I'll never write //R[1/00] (via pnguintroll708)

[finita--la--commedia]

“Dearest, I am yours under all circumstances, without change, unalterably yours.”

— Nathaniel Dawson (1829-1895) in a letter to Elodie Todd (1840-1877) (  In Camp, Winchester, Virginia, July 8, 1861 ) in: “Practical Strangers. The Courtship Correspondence of Nathaniel Dawson and Elodie Todd, Sister of Mary Todd Lincoln”, edited by Stephen Berry and Angela Esco Elder 

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I'll be totally honest with you. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

-from yours truly

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"He brought out a side of me that I never knew I had. A side of me that i pray to god i never have to see again. And i think it was the same with him, i brought out a side that he never knew he had. We loved each other, don’t get me wrong.. but we just had a way of bringing out the worst in each other, that was our biggest flaw. That was the reason of our undoing, because even though there was love, the darkness that laid behind our eyes was too vigorous that it consumed us whole until there was nothing left. "

-toxic relationships

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"Oh how I woke up gasping for air when I dreamt of losing you forever. My cheeks stained of tears from the thought of never being able to talk to you again or hear the sweet words you’d whisper to me and only me. Funny how now I’m forced to do that exact thing I feared the most, every single day. "

-about-you-a

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You were never there for me like I was for you

-the sad truth

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Always having that

Beautiful smile on his face

Chocolate caramel skin,

Dark brown eyes

Except

For when reflecting the sun;

Golden

Honey colored eyes then.

I’d stare into them any day.

Just one glance from him and I

Know where I am. I am in a

Loving, secure place. The

Most certain I’ve ever been,

Nowhere compares to when I’m with him.

Others wouldnt understand our story, the

Places we’ve been, the memories shared.

Questions & uncertainties get buried when

Remembering the good or the first time we

Skipped together.

Those times won’t be forgotten if this, if

Us doesn’t work in the end. I wont forget the

Videos and pictures we took along the

Way. We were never really

Xenial to each other even at the start. But

You always got a hundred percent from me

Zeros are what I got back. Sad isn’t it?

-the alphabet about you

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“I plan on traveling and leaving this town behind one day but until then I’ll just watch the stars and dream of places better than here”

-dreams

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You see that girl? The one drinking her nights away and seeking any attention. She gave up. She gave up on trying to find love because every man she ever encountered showed her how she could never be happy or treasured by anyone; shit like that can really fuck a person over.

-from an outsiders point of view

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“Even to this day, 4 Years has passed and a single song reminds me of you. 4 Years and I still cry to the thought of you. “

-to my middle school lover

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“I sit here and think, I never really thought I would like the color of brown eyes. The dark glazed coffee color that belongs to so many faces. The hazy chocolate swirls in the morning light. The meticulous darkness lurking in that oh so brown pool. But these, these warm muddy ponds are different. They glimmer with an outer layer of green when the sun hits them at the right angle. A fusion of colors illuminated from this intensified glare. A dark but so light trace of yellow where the once all black had been and suddenly it’s like everything is okay, like how the world used to be before I was broken by the one before this. I sit here and think, I never really thought I would like the color of brown eyes.”

-the color of brown

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And even to this day I’d still take you back. All of you, the good and the bad. From your sweet words to your wanderlust hands because after all; I fell in love with all of you, the good and the bad.

-about-you-a

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I don’t think I’ve ever really understood how a person could be so happy yet so sad at the same time till I let you go

-about-you-a