Please, Abraham! I am not that man!

Jessica . 22 . English Lit

[tesb]

We reject the trinity and pray devoutly to you, Great Paimon. Give us your knowledge of all secret things, bring us honor, wealth, and good familiars. Bind all men to our will as we have bound ourselves for now and ever to yours. Hail, Paimon! Hail, Paimon! Hail, Paimon! Hail!

Hereditary (2018) dir. Ari Aster

[poehlersdimples]

Kristin this is now single-handedly the creepiest thing I have ever done I hope you're happy I'm going to go curl up in a ball and die forever now

CUTE GIRL DEVELOPMENT #5

AHHHHHH.

So basically a few nights ago, we watched Deathly Hallows part 2. I made the comment that in my head as a child, Snape looked like a pelican. She DIED LAUGHING and this prompted the next thing.

We spent the entire evening texting one another and coming up with various hilarious images of the cast of Harry Potter — and eventually created The Little Potter — The Little Mermaid. Yes. We have officially ruined everything. It’s beautiful.

So yesterday, during lunch, she and her friend were sitting at a table next to ours, but I didn’t see her. I was meeting some friends, and I was in line for food, and she CAME UP TO ME and was like: Hey! Are you sitting anywhere yet? And obviously unfortunately I was, but anyway. She pretty much made faces at me from across the cafeteria. It was beautiful.

Dinner — she and her friend ate with us! So that was fun.

After dinner, we went over to their room to watch In Time on their computer, and, y’know. Dorm room. Two beds, whatever. The rest of my friends sat on the roommate’s bed, but I sat on hers. 

We cuddled.

Basically.

We cuddled like the whole time.

And made jokes at each other throughout the entire movie about Justin Timberlake and how he runs and and and just AGH. We connected.

So afterwards I was all: Thanks for being my cuddle buddy!

And she was all: Any time 

And her friend was all: AGH YOU GUYS ARE FLIRTING SO HARD DON’T HAVE SEX IN MY BED 8|

So that was fun.

We hung out today. And she was about to ask me to lunch but I asked her first, so we ate lunch together. Then right after lunch I went to the used bookstore, and she texted me asking me what I was doing. And then taunted me because she was having hot chocolate. And basically very flirtily invited me to have hot chocolate with her.

Except I was hungry AGAIN, so when I got back, we ate together again instead.

Guys.

Guys.

What even is my life.

I think she likes me.

What if I’m wrong.

Shit.

POSTED ON NOV 16 WITH 5 NOTES. 

TAGGED AS

CUTE GIRL COLLEGE BLOG 2K11

CUTE GIRL DEVELOPMENT #4

Had a movie night tonight with the gang

She came too

“When I grow up, I want to be Darren Criss and John Barrowman. At the same time.”

We watched Kiki’s Delivery Service

She knits

She is a total hipster and knows it.

POSTED ON OCT 11 WITH 7 NOTES. 

TAGGED AS

CUTE GIRL COLLEGE BLOG 2K11

CUTE GIRL DEVELOPMENT #3

Sat with her for part of lunch today

She sent her hellos from cross the cafeteria

She looked really tired

She made a Harry Potter reference

And I quote, “Tumblr is God’s gift to the world.”

POSTED ON OCT 6 . 

TAGGED AS

CUTE GIRL COLLEGE BLOG 2K11

CUTE GIRL DEVELOPMENT #2.

SHE SAT WITH ME AT LUNCH YESTERDAY AND GEEKED WITH ME ABOUT COMIC BOOKS AND JESSE EISENBERG BECAUSE SHE UNDERSTANDS THE OBSESSION AND SHE’S SEEN ALL HIS MOVIES AND FFUDSHFSHDFSDF. 

POSTED ON SEP 30 . 

TAGGED AS

CUTE GIRL COLLEGE BLOG 2K11

CUTE GIRL DEVELOPMENT.

Talked to Elias today.

Kristin is gay.

Kristin is single.

Elias is going to help me.

((EXCEPT HE DIDN’T AND I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF AREN’T YOU PROUD KRISTIN LOOK AT THAT))

POSTED ON SEP 26 . 

TAGGED AS

CUTE GIRL SHE LOOKS LIKE SHANNYN SOSSAMON YOU GUYS ONLY HOTTER HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE PRETTY SURE SHE’S GAY TOO PERSONAL

So there’s this fucking cute girl on campus right and I’ve seen her EVERYWHERE and I’ve always wanted to say hi to her. So we go to meet some friends for lunch and she’s sitting with them so I take the seat next to her. Her name is Kristin and she’s super sweet, and she used to live in my hometown until last year. What are the fucking odds? I just. I want things I shouldn’t be wanting right now.

POSTED ON SEP 20 . 

[poehlersdimples]

Y’all, it’s been 5 years, and I just have to say: Tomorrow, it will be exactly 2 months until I marry this girl. And you guys were here to see me flip my shit over her in the beginning.

[nanlawson]

My patronus is a field mouse!

[altnbrown-deactivated20160802]

look at this fucking cat

[hughgrantinpaddington2]

stranger things appreciation week; day five: favorite quote ↳ This is not yours to fix alone.

[steveholtiscool]

REMINDER THAT LAIKA’S FIRST FILM SOLELY PRODUCED BY THEIR STUDIO HAD TWO FEMALE CHARACTERS AS THEIR ANTAGONIST AND PROTAGONIST WHO, BY SOME FORM OF DEVIL MAGIC, HAVE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FACES

REMINDER THAT LAIKA’S SECOND FILM NOT ONLY CONSISTED OF A CAST WITH FOUR CENTRAL FEMALE CHARACTERS BUT INCLUDED AN ENTIRE TOWN OF DIVERSE CITIZENS OF VARYING RACE, GENDER, AND AGE. LIKE A NORMAL TOWN HAS.

REMINDER THAT LAIKA’S THIRD FILM FEATURED SAME SEX COUPLES IN THEIR TEASER TRAILER

REMINDER THAT THIS IS ALL STOP-MOTION SO EVERY CHARACTER WAS DESIGNED, MODELED, SCULPTED, RIGGED, AND EVEN HAD TINY CLOTHES SEWED FOR THEM.

also reminder that they make chump change compared to disney who whines and cries that in all their years of experience they can’t handle the prospect of animating a girl with a face different than the rest and that it’s “too hard” because only females can express such a wide range of emotions that it makes them difficult to animate

if a studio with 20-30 years of experience can manage this then SURELY an established studio with NEAR 100 YEARS of experience can maybe, just maybe, include a female that ISN’T a part of their formula

[sailormilk-blog]

LAIKA !

[beetlejuicesgf]

Also paranormal had a canonically gay guy in it just saying

[biostrange]

The second I saw her blue hair and that beautiful pissed off face I wanted to kiss her again.

[autumn-blatt]

[poehlersdimples]

[sandandglass]

[okayodysseus]

Oedipus at Colonus:

∟ Stellan Skarsgard as Oedipus       Tatiana Maslany as Antigone        Samantha Barks as Ismene       Chad Michael Murray as Polynices       Anthony Hopkins as Creon       Bob Morley as Theseus

[pinkiepony]

I CAN’T TELL WHAT’S FUNNIER I regret middle school

[i-am-having-an-emotion]

calm down there, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way.

[pinkiepony]

WHO BROUGHT THIS BACK WHO THE FUCK BROUGHT BACK THE DIARY POST

[yooksungjae]

[poehlersdimples]

Mark Zuckerberg + needing Eduardo Saverin [requested by sepheid]

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS I WAS JUST RECOVERING /AGAIN/

[opossummypossum]

It’s baby season!

[rudolphsb9]

Reblogging in case myself or my followers encounter orphaned possum babies.

[mrlazyputa]

"… and you realize they’ve really come a long way together." - Jeremy Zuckerman

[houseofblackwrites]

Facts from the 2014 UK Editions of Harry Potter

Before the Hogwarts Express, some young wizards and witches made their way to Hogwarts on broomsticks and in enchanted carriages

There are other fractional platforms at King’s Cross station. Try 7 1/2 for a trip to wizard-only villages in Europe. 

It took five and a half minutes for the Sorting Hat to decide whether to place Minerva McGonagall in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw

Several Hogwarts students have caused mayhem at King’s Cross by dropping suitcases full of newt spleens or biting spellbooks all over the Muggle Station.

Peeves the poltergeist caused a three-day evacuation of Hogwarts in 1876 after escaping a trap set for him armed with several dangerous weapons. 

The one exception to the general magical aversion to Muggle technology is cars. Even the Ministry of Magic owns a fleet, modified with various useful charms. 

Many wizards were unhappy with the invention of the Muggle-like Knight Bus, and refused to use it when it first hit the streets. 

Headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts can teach their magical portrait to act and behave exactly like themselves. 

Sir Cadogan’s most famous encounter was with the Wyvern of Wye, a dragon-like creature, whom he accidentally killed with his broken wand. 

Only one non-magical person has ever managed to get as far as the Hogwarts Sorting Hat before being exposed as a Squib. 

Of the Eleven wizarding schools in the world, the African school of Uagadou is the only one to select pupils by Dream Messenger, leaving a token in the child’s hand whilst they sleep. 

The 1809 Quidditch World Cup final turned into a human versus tree battle when one of the players managed to jinx an entire forest to attack the stadium. 

The Hufflepuff ghost, the Fat Friar, was executed after senior churchman became suspicious of his ability to cure the pox by poking peasants with a stick. 

Every year St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries treats at least one injury caused by homemade Floo powder. 

Before she became a teacher at Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall used to work for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic. 

Part of the process of becoming an Animagus requires you to carry a leaf from a Mandrake in your mouth for an entire month. 

A Dark wizard called Raczidian was devoured by maggots that appeared from his wand when he unsuccessfully attempted to cast the Patronus Charm.

Any part of a person’s body can be added to the Polyjuice Potion to allow the consumer to take their form, including hair, toenail clippings, dandruff or worse…

Remus Lupin’s father, Lyall, was a world-renowned authority on magical creatures like poltergeists and Boggarts. 

It took 167 Memory Charms and the largest mass Concelment Charm ever performed in Britain to modify a muggle steam engine and create the Hogwarts Express. 

Students from the Russian Wizarding school, Koldovstoretz, play a version of Quidditch where they fly on entire, uprooted trees instead of broomsticks. 

Yes, these are all canon. Thought I’d type it up to have it as a text reference. Enjoyyy. 

[hellotailor]

I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE FACTS!

(n.b. naturally, remus lupin’s dad was also called “wolf.” nothing like tempting fate for two generations in a row, huh?)

[ink-splotch]

ugh okay but now i want a squib who did make it through hogwarts;

a squib who spent her childhood pretending to magically start accidental fires with the lighter up her sleeve; who got her bemused little sister to grow her hair long overnight after a bad trim; a squib who shook all through shopping at diagon alley and who was so relieved that her parents were almost suspicious when they said that there wasn’t enough money that year to get her a new wand from ollivander’s— she’d have to take great-aunt jenny’s hand-me-down, eight and a half inches of oak and unicorn hair;

a squib who made it to platform 9 3/4, who made friends with some shy kid in the back of the express, who made it across the lake and up the stairs and through the great hall doors and by the great long tables and onto the wobbly old stool—

until the hat drops over her eyes

well what do we have here?

she’s got a forged hogwarts letter with penmanship that’s perfect down to the ink splatter; she’s got a complicated string of owls, only half of them forged, from parents to administration to ministry that’s so complicated her name ended up on the first year roll call anyway. she’s got ten arguments, four pleas, and one smothered threat on the tip of her mental tongue for why the house that comes out of this hat’s brim better not be squib

she’s got a lighter up her sleeve and an eight and a half inch wand in her belt that will never, ever work for her. 

well, says the hat, better be slytherin then

she finds the room of requirement in her second week, because she has always been a hallway-pacer, her head always ringing with i want i want i need i need i will do this. the room of requirement gives her books of muggle magic tricks, sleight of hand, chemical ways to turn ‘water’ into ‘wine.’ 

she bribes another first-year slytherin to wingardium leviosa her feathers in flitwick’s class. her shy friend from the train, a hufflepuff and a muggleborn, buys her a new lighter for christmas without being asked. when a gryffindor finds her scrubbing at tears in the back of the library and guesses what’s the matter (he’s seen her classwork), she tells him the story, tells him what it’s like to be denied a whole world because they think different means broken— she expects him to tattle, but instead the gryff transfigures her needles for the rest of her academic career; and she whispers hints to him when his black thumb keeps making him fail herbology. 

(the first thing she’d said, when she realized he’d guessed her secret, had been ‘you should’ve been in ravenclaw’ and he had looked at her gravely until she apologized)

the room of requirement gives her books and books on potions, arithmancy, herbology— these things are not about magic. these things are not about power that lives in your bones. she knows power, knows the way sparks fly from her little sister’s wand when they take her to ollivanders, knows the way it flicks under her quill when she practices mcgonagall’s signature and sends home disciplinary letters to the parents of every student who ever bullied her friend from the train. 

she waters nightshade and re-pots mandrakes, can tell poisonous mushrooms from magical (…also poisonous) ones by a glance. she drops in just the right amount of unicorn horn powder in potions class (.025 g more than the instructions suggest) and when making sleeping draught stirs for half a stir extra. 

this is about power that you make. 

she studies and invents, schemes and lies and excels. she holds potions tutoring in the slytherin common room when her friend from the train suggests it, then moves it to the room of requirement after it gets too large and someone stains the green-and-silver upholstery. (her arithmancy sessions are much less well attended). 

she keeps her lighter, her little packets of carefully measured powder, her jokeshop tricks up her sleeve—she keeps the names of people who she can trust, who she can call on for distraction, for help, for a needed lie on the tip of her tongue—she keeps her gryffindor’s heavy wand and quick wit close at hand; keeps her hufflepuff’s steady patience closer; keeps her own bright improvisations at her fingertips. 

her bemused little sister ends up in ravenclaw, and they all eat at the hufflepuff table for breakfast because (she says) slytherins weren’t meant to follow rules and because (her sister says) how stupid is this seating thing and because (her shy friend says) didn’t you hear the hat? helga said she’d take them all, so hold your tongue, macmillian, scoot over, and pass my friends here the hashbrowns.

when she graduates, she heads for the ministry. she has plans, and she has brave, smart, true, cunning friends to back her up. 

power should never be something born into your bones.

[krxs10]

this is the kind of fucking bullshit I’m taking about.

[florecitadelalma-deactivated201]

What the fuck yo

[manc-inquisitive]

http://www.mywlas.com/george-zimmerman-arrested-while-visiting-ferguson/

[cosmic-noir]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

[the-friction-in-your-jeans-deac]

I AM SCREAMING.

[queeenkareemuh]

wow

[pumpkinmcqueen]

Someone put him in prison already and don’t let him out. He’s itching to kill again. He’s tryna be a serial killer.

[kagekiid]

I think it is important to have the rest of that article up here too:

Zimmerman is heard yelling something again, and finally the teens stop. One of the teens rather articulately asks Zimmerman to leave him, his friend, and his town, alone. “Sir, sir, we don’t… we don’t have an issue with you, sir. Please leave us alone,” the younger teenager says in the video, while Zimmerman continues to rant about something in the background. “Mr. Zimmerman, I don’t know why you’re here in Ferguson, but It’s pretty damn insensitive, you showing up here. This town’s been through enough already, we don’t need you here intensifying things, okay? And my friend and I didn’t say anything to you.”

“I have a right to be here. It’s a free country, we’re on a public street,” Zimmerman angrily says to the teens. “Why were you following me? Why were you harassing me?”

“We did no such thing, Mr. Zimmerman. You were leaving the store and we saw you and crossed the street,” the younger teen replies. “You followed us for a whole block. We said nothing to you and we were not following you.”

“Why are you here, George?” the older teen asks. “Ferguson has enough going on without you trying to get in the news again.”

At this point, Zimmerman drops his beverage and reaches into his jacket. The teen holding the cell phone raises it, and then the video abruptly ends. Authorities say a State Police cruiser, which just happened to be driving by at that moment, pulled over, and the officers found Zimmerman aiming a 9mm pistol at the two teens, who had their hands raised above their heads. After drawing their own weapons and ordering Zimmerman to drop his, Zimmerman was taken into custody.

Police found two handguns, a shotgun, and several knives inside Zimmerman’s car at the time of his arrest. It is unclear why Zimmerman was visiting Ferguson, when he arrived, or where in town he was staying. Police say the teens will be allowed to release the full video to the public after their investigation is complete.

[putmezove-deactivated20171012]

holy fuck

[yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20]

I’m sorry, what was that last part? “two handguns, a shotgun, and several knives”? What the fuck is wrong with that sick freak?

[poehlersdimples]

I can’t find verification for this article, and the site itself is full of ads. It doesn’t look real. Can anyone else locate a source?

[amellia-j]

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/zimmerman.asp

false

[poehlersdimples]

THANK YOU <3