Poetic Sirens

Welcome to my world. My name is DeMaree and you will get to know me through my poetry and loud thoughts. Always remember to...make your voice LOUDER THAN SIRENS...but don't say anything stupid :/

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[chillpotato]

- Sylvia Plath, from the 'Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath'

[poetic-sirens]

I spent so much of my life being miserable, because I assumed that was the only way to be.

[coolthingsguyslike]

[poetic-sirens]

My dad was a boxer in the 90s. He had one professional fight in 1994 and he lost because "in his own words" he cursed God and thought he was the sh!t. God took everything away.

I remember a story he told me 5 years ago. He said in 1998 when my twin sister and I were 2 years old, he went to the boxing gym one night to clear his head and God told him that if he stayed married to my mom then he would never have success financially or with anything. My dad did not listen to God again...

Currently, December 26th 2022, my mom had him take out his retirement money early. My dad gave her 14,000$ to spend it however she likes. My mom's closet is stacked with designer bags and clothes that she doesn't even wear. Last time I visited I had no idea how to navigate through her closet because there was so much stuff.

Even though my dad is retired, he still works a full time job and lives paycheck to paycheck paying for a 6 bedroom house that only him and my mom share. One of the rooms is hoarded with things from my childhood since I never come to visit. My dad says he wants to live his dream of opening up his own boxing gym and teaching rookies, but he doesn't.

I have learned what not to do based on how my parents chose to live their lives. So I guess they taught me alot. I am not bitter towards them like I used to be, but now it is just a scar on my heart that I will always carry.

I love you dad. I hope you one day can live your dream.

[thecollectibles]

Art by Alariko

[thecollectibles]

The Collectibles: Best of 2022

[poetic-sirens]

I am thinking of my mother now. I don't really know her that well. Through the years I have come to understand that people will only take you as deep as they have taken themselves, and all I know about my mother is her favorite color, where she is from, she was a model in the 90s, and how her dad died when she was just 15 years old.

It hurts me to tell the truth about her because I know truth is a double edged sword, and people mistake the truth for insults. People LITERALLY cannot handle the truth, and those who try to say the truth risk losing the people they love. Eventually, there is no one left to call or talk to. You scroll through all of your contacts and realize there is no one left to text.

Truth is, I felt abandoned by my mom. She would lock my sister and I in a house for 6 years and we were not allowed to go outside. Sure, the question would be "Why didn't you just leave?" I was more afraid of what my mom would do. When you are conditioned to be afraid of your parents at a young age, you become their prisoner. Not only that I was 12-17 years old. What did I know about the world?

I always felt that she hated me growing up, and would make up things and reasons for me to get in trouble so my dad could spank me for "being bad". Yet to this day she questions why I don't want to come "home" for christmas or visit her. The one thing I have learned in my adult years is that people know all the wrong they do, they just play dumb. Truth is, I still love my mom because I hate hearing her cry or feel bad when I don't visit her. I can't picture a world where she feels lonely. Sure, everyone who reads this will say "GASLIGHTING!! She is gaslighting you!! Just leave her alone..." but it used to affect me in a horrible way. All of this took place more than 10 years ago. Now I am mature and less emotional about my childhood (4 years of therapy later) I believe in grace and favor. Of course I have my boundaries with her. I don't talk to her about money, or my relationships I have with other people. I simply talk to her about whats going on in my life and how I am doing. It makes me happy knowing that my mom has a smile on her face just hearing my voice, and that's all she needs. I have had too many convictions of just ignoring her and it not feeling right. I am happier now that I get to talk to her over the phone. I am in a different state which makes it easier for me to talk to her. I love you mom. No matter what happened in the past, your mistakes made me who I am today. I am glad to see you smile.

[chiriwave-deactivated20240304]

[poetic-sirens]

I’m not just another pretty girl without a purpose. In fact it’s quite contrary…

People say “You’re pretty you must have men at your doorstep” or “man, things must come to you easily?”

Nope…in fact it becomes harder when people assume you have everything just because you are “pretty” so you end up with nothing at the end of the day.

I choose to be gorgeous in my heart and allow that to radiate. I can be pretty kind, pretty smart, pretty cute, but I will never think of myself as just “pretty”

[poetic-sirens]

I want to live my life as if noone is watching

I want to roll down the car window on a rainy day and feel the spatters of rain against my skin.

I want to keep telling myself that people have nothing better to do with their time if they keep making assumptions about me.

I want to keep believing that I am a person who deserves love even when people purposely exclude me from conversations, or even when I don't get an invitation.

I want to jump rope in a puddle while its raining with no clothes on.

I want to smile in the faces of my enemies.

I want a lot of things, and I can have these things.

[poetic-sirens]

Love get's better with time

[poetic-sirens]

I wish I was that unborn child you sang lullabies to in your tummy. You would’ve thought I was at a child like rest, but no, just breath escaping from your womb like a convict escaping prison. Why would I want to set foot in a blank world.

[nevver]

In the fold, Cormac Powers

[poetic-sirens]

Temptation doesn't deliver what it promises. Although I find myself mourning over what could have been. I desire to place myself in front of my enemies to know the construction of their schemes. BUT...i'm saddened that I cannot be that woman to do life with you. You are the perfect fantasy for me, but my commitments to another had me tell you no.

[poetic-sirens]

Broken crayons still color

Demaree Sol

[8-bitfiction]

[poetic-sirens]

You cannot bury disrespect beneath culture. Truth is a universal language.

Demaree Sol

[f--o--r--e--v--e--r]

[poetic-sirens]

Talk to me but only if you're naked,           I wanna see the blood that flows through all your veins let the smoke go to the sky from your cigarette, cause all i want is you to see my mistakes.

DeMaree Sol