“Open Your Eyes, Even If That Light May Blind You.”
Yaoqing Trio: What if Jiaoqiu could see again?
The grounding grip of Feixiao’s hand in his was enough to quell Jiaoqiu’s nerves. His leg bounced out of adrenaline as they neared the Alchemy Commission.
A sudden, gentle hand grabbed his arm, noticing the healer’s anxiety.
“Hey, Jiao, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure it will work, I promise.” Feixiao’s voice came through, and Jiaoqiu instinctively turned his head to look at her, but only saw a faint outline of a figure through his blinded vision.
“But, what if after the treatment…I open my eyes and it’s still dark…?” He asked in a low voice, fear clawing at his throat as he spoke uneasily. The mere possibility of it was something he couldn’t stop from invading his mind.
That grip on his arm tightened.
“Hey- don’t think that. No matter what, I will be with you the entire time. And Moze too. We’re both here for you.” She said, leaning closer to the foxian and rubbing his hand in a soothing manner.
Jiaoqiu turned his face to where he thought Feixiao was, and gave a soft smile. He was slightly off- and looking at the wall- but it went unmentioned.
The sudden stop of their transportation alerted the two that they were here. The Alchemy Commission.
As they stood up, Jiaoqiu could feel his knees shake from that same anxiety in his throat. Though Feixiao’s gentle grip on his arm was grounding him- keeping him from tumbling and curling in on himself out of fear.
As they inched closer to the door of the Commission, Jiaoqiu could hear footsteps walking towards the two.
It sounded like stomping- like someone was trying to make their steps louder.
“Ah, Moze!” Feixiao exclaimed with that familiar relief.
It was then that the light reflecting off Moze’s silver gauntlet made it easier for Jiaoqiu to spot his friend through the veil of darkness that covered his eyes.
Jiaoqiu reaches out carefully, not wanting to seem like he was a child reaching for candy- for Moze’s hand to know where he was, when the assassin already grabbed the foxian’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. It eased his worries slightly, and he gave yet another soft smile to know it helped, unsure if he was looking off to the side or at Moze.
The soft tug from Feixiao let him know they were continuing to walk inside, and his stomach knotted. It felt like his stomach was a rope in tug-of war, with anxiety on one end and belief on the other. His mind waged like a war for what he would see when he opened his eyes after the procedure.
Every step felt as if it made his limbs tremble with anxiety more.
Everything seemed to fly by… the check-in and being seated. His leg started to bounce again, and someone gently pulled him into a side hug. He didn’t know who, but the warmth radiating from their body made him lean in more, tensed shoulders relaxing somewhat.
“Mr. Jiaoqiu.” A voice called out after some time.
Hearing that meant it was time.
What if it didn’t go right? What if it failed?
He gulped down the intruding thoughts as he was led down halls and into a room by either Feixiao or Moze- he still couldn’t tell through his near-panic.
The doctor who spoke to him (more like the three of them) listed some things- but Jiaoqiu tuned it all out as his mind frayed with the countless, possible outcomes of this surgery.
The door shutting took him out of his thoughts, as he slightly jolted in his seat.
When did he sit down again?
“We’re gonna leave the room while you change into the hospital gown. Let us know when you’re done, okay?” Feixiao’s voice suddenly cut through his confusion, as Jiaoqiu felt a pair of clothes be placed on his lap.
A gentle squeeze of his hand, then the door opened and closed again.
“Come on, get up and get changed.” He told himself. But he remained seated.
The quaking in his limbs made him feel uneasy.
“You can’t take forever. Just put the hospital gown on.”
He slowly stood up, and started to get out of his outfit.
Did it even match? Or was it all mix-matched?
He wondered if people walking by pitied him for not even being able to put outfits together. If children who have walked by him asked their mothers ‘Mommy, why is that man dressed funny?’ to which they would be told of his misfortune to blindness.
He wondered if people let out small cackles towards his mix-matched clothes and untamed hair, styled like someone blindfolded attempted at his hair.
Well…he in a sense…was blindfolded. Permanently.
“No. It will work.” He mumbled to himself, suddenly aware of how crazy he must look- talking to himself. If someone walked in and saw the sad tragedy he turned into…he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand the feeling of someone’s piteous gaze on him.
He shook his head, and quickly got into the gown.
Did he even fold all his clothes neatly? Or was it in a messy pile for someone to bother themselves with tidying up?
He felt around in his chair, and clothes fell on the floor. Frustrated, he let out a low sigh as he bent down to pick the clothes back up. I’m doing so, his hand knocked over more clothes and he fell to the ground in anger, letting out a low growl as his knees hit the floor.
There was a sudden knock on the door, and Feixiao’s voice was on the other side of it.
“Jiaoqiu…are you okay in there? Can we come in?” She asked, tone laced with worry.
He let out a simple hum of agreement, before he heard the door click and open again.
How pitiful he must look right now. Ears flattened as he sat on the floor in a mess of clothes. Aeons, why was he so pathetic? He looses one of his five senses and suddenly he becomes helpless.
The soft click of heels neared him, and Jiaoqiu just sulked further, tail curling closer to him as he tried to shield the two from such a pathetic scene. Himself.
Someone neared beside him, but at the current moment he couldn’t tell who.
“Do you need help with folding your clothes?” Moze spoke in his usual, level tone.
Though his vision was gone, Jiaoqiu could feel the man’s eyes on him- waiting for confirmation from his friend before jumping to do something.
Jiaoqiu just pushed his face into his hands, letting out a slow sigh. He dragged his hands down his face, eyes opening only to be met with darkness. A cruel reminder of what he was doing here.
“…I’ve got it.” He said, feeling around for the clothes.
Feixiao kneeled beside him, her hand on his back.
“That’s fine…” she said, “But you know it’s okay to ask for help.”
“I…I know it’s just- I can’t rely on people for everything. I feel useless without being able to see and- it just…annoys me so much.” he said, brows furrowing.
“I’m more than this…I should be. I can’t become dependent on everyone around me just because I was a fool.” His fingers lightly curled to fists. He was too tired to imprint crescents into his palms.
A hand led his to one of the clothes on the floor, gently prying his fingers open in the process.
“You’re strong, Jiaoqiu. It’s not weak to need assistance. You’re already doing so much for yourself, even without your eyesight. If you don’t want us to do stuff for you…that’s completely valid. But if you need… let us just guide you to doing it. Of course, it’s all your call for what you want help with- we won’t force any help on you. I know you’re already so capable of doing so much for yourself- and you have. But you’re definitely not useless.” She said, strong tone emphasizing the words she spoke and their importance.
Jiaoqiu looked her way with the best estimate he could muster, and he was assisted in organizing the clothes.
He folded them and put them on the chair- though a bit messy- Moze helped make sure the clothes stacked on top of each other, and didn’t start to tilt.
Eventually, it came time.
Jiaoqiu laid on a bed, machines next to him beeped to monitor his vitals as the surgery was about to be performed.
“I’m going to put a mask on your face, and the fatigue from the drug is normal, so just rest.” A doctor warned him, aware of his blindness.
Jiaoqiu nodded, as something plastic was strapped over his face, and as he breathed in the chemicals, his eyelids felt heavier.
He closed his eyes. It did not make a difference with what he could see, but the relaxing feeling overcame his anxiety, letting him rest peacefully.
Beeping could be heard next to him, as his senses slowly came back.
Unaware of the bandage on his face, Jiaoqiu tried to open his eyes- fear building up as all he saw was darkness.
“Jiaoqiu.” A monotone voice called out, grasping his hand.
He used his free hand to feel his eyes- when he felt a bandage in front of them. His chest eased with anxiety, as the outcome he thought of was not what came of the surgery. At least- as he knew of so far.
“Feixiao went to get the doctor as soon as you woke up. They’re going to take the bandage off your eyes and assess how the surgery went.” Moze continued, noticing his friend’s anxiety.
The fear of hearing the news that he was permanently blind was scratching at the back of his brain.
He gave a curt nod to let the other know he heard him.
The fast clanks of heels resounded closer to Jiaoqiu, and he could hear Feixiao’s breath hitch in anticipation as the doctor walked in.
She rushed over to Jiaoqiu’s side, gently grabbing the hand that still felt his bandages, and gently pulled it down to his lap.
“Mr. Jiaoqiu.” The doctor’s voice cut through the building silence.
“The surgery seemed to go well from what I heard of my surgeons. If you wouldn’t mind letting me take off your bandage and letting me assess your eyesight.” He said, pausing and waiting for confirmation to act.
Jiaoqiu’s heart pounded as he slowly nodded his head.
He felt hands on the back of his head, as the bandage was untied.
As soon as it was off, his eyes opened.
And he wasn’t met with darkness, but rather a faint light above head.
The lights were most likely turned down to help his eyes adjust to the sudden ability to see again.
His eyes darted around the room, mouth agape as he couldn’t believe his eyes.
He looked over to his companions, as they had smiles in their faces, knowing from the look on Jiaoqiu’s face that he could see again.
They looked different, but otherwise he still recognized them. After all, someone’s appearance can change greatly within the span of 4 years.
Moze has a slight stubble to his face, and neatly trimmed hair. He looked over to Feixiao, as her hair was still up in its signature ponytail. Her hair seemed slightly longer, and she had 2 extra piercings on her ears.
“Congratulations Mr. Jiaoqiu, the surgery was a success.” The doctor said, happiness evident in his tone.
Jiaoqiu felt tears prick at his eyes.
Suddenly, he was pulled into a hug by the other two, and he let out of small laugh.
Because he could see. The world had colors again.
He could see the faces of the people he cared about most.
And for the first time in 4 years-
Jiaoqiu felt as if he wasn’t barricaded by his disability. He felt…
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Ending Note: This has been in my Google Docs for about a year or two, and I decided to post it. I’m surprised with how little edits I had to make considering the fact it was a pretty old piece of work.
Nonetheless, thanks for reading.
