Metaphorically Speaking

This is where my words are put onto paper. Where my feelings are expressed in an indirect way. Where the sun sometimes doesn't shine. Where my heart pours its blood. I just want you to listen to my stories.

[p0etic-vibes]

Idk if y’all read my poetry. But I’m deleting that blog soon.

@poetryofjaee

Check it out while you can. I’ll be moving my work to my own personal storage. If you’d like anymore poetry, lmk. I’ll post either new or past content on here.

Thanks for everything.

[poetryofjaee]

No One's Fool

Sometimes I spit venom as I speak Other times I sit quietly and keep to myself It really depends on how you treat me to result in what you get Even then, I'll rip your face clean if you piss me off I know I'm not abnormal for it But some overanalyze They see my eyes and instantly assume I need to be contained If you don't know me, only crossing the line of disrespect will I yell If you know me and what makes me tick, I swear some of y'all do it on purpose Don't get nervous You want to see me throw a huge fit I don't get it That's why I don't have many I let stick around since you do it to me for the entertainment Shameless, aren't you? You think it works? Triggering my emotions to make me grit my teeth and burn my words The anger subsides as soon as you go My heart turns into gold and I replenish my soul Stay away Keep your foolishness to yourself I am human I am my own Try me I dare you The harder you push me, the higher I excel

[poetryofjaee]

I Miss You

Love is a terrible thing You get attached to someone without realizing the risk They could leave you It's funny though Whenever I think about you I forget that you left and remember when you stayed From your head to your toes I'm in love with you From your mind to your soul I'm in love with you From your anger to your happiness I'm in love with you From the beginning to the end I'm in love with you You deserve love even with all of your mistakes I kept showing you that I just wish you listened Baby boy Baby boy You're my favorite I can't forget the times you made me smile or cry For you, I would still die My heart is weak all because of you I literally cannot sleep without a dream of you I fell the hardest I loved the most I'm sorry I don't know love that much You know how people learn by examples around them There was no love around me So I tried my best I took what I read and watched to teach myself what love really was I'm sorry I failed My love was not enough I just can't lie to you I miss you so much

[poetryofjaee]

Backwards Happy Ending

Is this what it feels like to be alone The feeling is so familiar yet new to me Maybe I'm confusing it with depression Maybe it's both I'm still here in my mind But my body is robotic It is no longer my own I think I just defined numbness The feeling of nothing but blurred existence I want to scream I am screaming But no one hears me My lungs are drying up full of cold winds and painful anger It stings when I speak I ask myself how my heart still beats when there is no life flowing through me The best art is produced during the worst pain What a beautiful tragedy such a losing game My face is covered all the time I can't count how many times my bed sheets dried my eyes Does it get better? Will it get worse? Will he tell me the truth? Am I still going to get hurt? These thoughts My thoughts They're just like the end credits of a movie Scrolling up infinitely with no one's attempt of a second glance I'm not hearing voices But I am so tired of my own Will someone rescue me? I would love to stop breathing Five beats Four beats Three beats Two... Once I get to one There's nothing anyone can do

[poetryofjaee]

All or Nothing

It's familiar You know it shouldn't be You did something again No surprise to me Who was it this time? Does she reoccur or is she a new face? I wanna ask you how she tasted Because I obviously wasn't sweet enough My heart has had enough My mind is constantly wandering over the two of us What have we become? What is he really feeling? Conceiving negative vibes as my soul keeps bleeding Trust in a relationship is like money and celebrities Without it, you're nothing It's nothing What we have will have no value I pray for the day I don't have to worry But the next day, my prayer is answered with another one of your stories "I'm sorry baby" Yeah, play that song You have it on repeat Overplayed The words mean nothing anymore Your actions reflect the opposite of what you say You call me babe But at the end of the day, who are you really thinking of? I don't know what you do The man above keeps an eye on you My vibes are rotting I'm trying to keep them flowing My heart is tiptoeing out of my chest like a teenage rebel after curfew I swear I got you But you ain't got me Honesty ain't a thang if your honesty is always spoken through mistakes I rest my case Be loyal or forever lose your place My trust for you is erased

[poetryofjaee]

Threesome

I've never been so lost and confused in my life God I love you You know I do You have no clue as to what I'd do for you You I've thought of you so much before I did myself Please answer me Why can't I be loved fully and loyally Why do they always have to fall for someone else Why did you My tears are all over my pillow Plastered on my face I feel so disgraceful I let you hurt me I allowed this to happen Why live if your lover's heart is not yours I can't share I'm sorry That's not how my love works I'm writing in the dark It's hard to tell if I'm writing within these lines My heart I want to bleed it out This pain, it's so bad How am I still alive I've deprived myself of everything Someone save me I can't save myself Because if it was up to me I'd be thrown off my balcony with my arms cut open letting the blood stop pumping my heart Cry Cry Cry That's all I do All I wanted was love Love that is mine One that I have my name on Why is it not you I need it to be I want it to be God Why Why do you love her too

[poetryofjaee]

Be Strong

One thing I always grew up with is that women must always be stronger no matter what society says I'll admit It took me a while to finally embrace who I was as a woman But when I finally did I could not describe the freedom I felt in words Knowing your worth Knowing your goals Your capabilities Your strength It builds a character greater than you may know I'm not going to share a sob story I'm only going to say that I know what it's like to go through pain and feel insane It's like there's no way out At least it seems Search for the light that ever so brightly gleams When you find it, grasp it as tightly as you can Because finding it can be just as easy as losing it I despise feeling weak It's bad enough I have terrible knees That's why I can't stand the hold he has on me I don't want him to leave Once he does, my heart will go along with him My happiness is embedded in his veins I'm sure I can find another source But why look for something when all you've ever wanted was right in front of you

[poetryofjaee]

A Mess To Love

Can it be possible to be angry for no reason? To be upset at a world that is a disaster in your head? To be loathsome towards something that you cannot control? I guess it's possible Since it's like that with me Anger steams out of every exit I'd love to scream Many would hear this But ignore me by calling me sick But am I? Am I sick just because I get angry for no reason at all sometimes? That's like calling someone inhumane for performing random acts of kindness The world we live in is nothing but a destructive beauty We kill our brothers yet flowers still bloom I don't know if this makes me a poet or a psycho because I know what happens in this world and others cannot see with their eyes because they'd rather ignore what they cannot believe All I can hope for is to end my life having found the one person who continues to love me regardless of my horrible choices and inexplicable attitude

[poetryofjaee]

Single Life

Alone With no way to go but my own Mine Me Myself I Doesn't it get tiring sometimes Telling yourself you're fine when you want someone who you can lay with in bed A pillow being their chest A blanket being their arms Soft music being their voice Isn't it weird how a human can give you such comfort but tear you apart at the same time

[poetryofjaee]

Hearty Danger

I don't think there is a pain worse than when your heart is broken Your chest feels wounded Your eyes sore from the tears which are all hiding in your pillow Your stomach no longer wanting food or maybe it creates an appetite that a feast cannot satisfy But, the most terrifying, is your soul. It becomes empty and slowly disappears into the crevices of your inner self What many don't know is that you can regain it It's just saving itself from you Because that's how dangerous a broken heart can be. It changes you forever, whether for the best or worse Speaking from experience most might agree That all a person wants from a broken heart is absolutely no pain I'd hoped this time was different I thought it would hurt less.

But the pain eroding my chest has hit a level recorded its best Escape is never apparent The path is never clear Although it's not recommended Death seems like music to my ears This was not written for pity or  defiance or allurement.

It is simply something needed to be let out to put my heart at temporary ease.

[poetryofjaee]

No Less Than Lovers

A friend. I'm not. I cant be. A friend, to you? I'm the wrong person for it. A friend does not look at you with lovely eyes or tingle with happiness when you smile. A friend does not get jealous or hate when they try to flirt with you. A friend does not wish that she was in your arms or hope you were thinking about her. Friends do not act in a way where they need to mask their feelings. At least not in the way I do. I cannot be your friend. It'll hurt me more than you could believe. Because my love is deeper than friendship When it comes to you.

[poetryofjaee]

I Am From

Many come from a city, state, or town with a particular setting

As they grow up, their native land they seem to keep forgetting

I am not from a place; I am not from a home

I am from things I can claim my own

Being five foot eight, light brown eyes, and semi-colored hair; that is where I am from

Ears the size of stones and skin the golden warm color of caramel, from that I am

Bright pink lips alongside chubby cheeks, I am from it

Throughout life, there are requirements and choices

Attending school is mandatory, going to college is closest

I am not from a school; I am not from an educational system

I am from achievements of which I can list them

MCAS practice for seven months, oh my, that is where I am from

Sharpeners and pencils with erasers of rainbow, from that I am

Peer pressure beyond comfort with a bowl of bullies, I am from it

Bore from a mother and father, a family we seem to know well

With relatives of the same blood and stories of great nourishment to tell

I am not from a blood line; I am not from a relation

I am from cultures that are known for its diversification

Pastelitos, arroz blanco, y carne frita to enjoy; that is where I am from

Cackles with hyperventilating laughter, from that I am

Wide open arms and bright red lipstick, I am from it

A being is a person that is one of his kind

Beliefs, values, and goals they choose to become blind

I am not from people; I am not from you

I am from who I am and cannot be recognized by two

Dancing with sneakers and sweatpants wearing legs, that is where I am from

A stranger of evil but a neighbor of imperfection, from that I am

Bizarre words of speech and an eye for sore thumbs, I am from it

We are not from the same place

We have never shared the same face

I am from where I have been before

No person can remove who I am in my core

[poetryofjaee]

That Love

Everybody wants a love where there's hand holding cuddling picture taking You know, those moments where movies depict what love should be like Those are nice But I want something better See, I want something unforgettable Like up late night thinking of them unforgettable I want something honest Like you look a hot mess wear this instead honest I want something loyal Like you look good but who I have at home is much better loyal I want something fun Like jumping off cliffs into the water out of my comfort zone fun I want something real Like I understand but you should've done this because then this will happen real I'm not gonna lie That cuddling play fighting holding each other thing I want it too But what I need is what I just told you The cute stuff is extra And I don't like to define it Because they may have a different way of showing it And I don't mind different

But listen A relationship is more than kissing It's love that is endlessly realistic Real love is happiness Real relationships are true And I'd like to shout out those who try to ruin them when it has nothing to do with you But don't worry What is done comes back to you Just like the good ones out there who have no faith Believe in yourself and love will be found that is great

[poetryofjaee]

Friendly Message

Forget me Pretend I don't exist I call it quits Because I've had enough of this Why should I try If you do nothing of it or try yourself What do I look like? I'm not going on my knees begging for your help

Friendship Do you know the meaning? It's when a human being treats another like they would themselves I should've known You don't know how to treat yourself I've been insecure I have days where I look stupid But this is foolish and selfish because I'm negatively affected And I don't need that

Positive people make better friends I'm not a toy you can use to offend I have feelings My life is beginning to have clear meaning Don't bring me down or I'll need a hole in the ground I question if you care I question how you feel Because if my existence has no value my death will not bring tears to your eyes

This is not a suicide note It's just the truth for you Open your eyes Change for you Once you do You'll see things in better perspective Listen to my message I care for you But constantly stressing over your words (not really what you say) But the times I hear it I can't bear it

That's why I've let it out I needed to share it Stop blocking my words Consider them for once Yes, I'm being blunt But real friends tell you what's up

[poetryofjaee]

The Day I Lost Them

Quietly asleep, rocking chair rocking. Someone’s at the door, I hear them knocking. Grandma gets up, you hear that man talking? I tell her don’t go, but she starts walking. Glass falling, mommy I can hear her yelling. That man is daddy, she says he’s a convicted felon. Mommy told me about the white stuff he was selling.  The police didn’t like the story he was telling. Tears and blood, I went to see if everything was okay. I never knew what I was gonna see that day. Grandma was sleeping, her chest had the thing I couldn’t use to play. Mommy was all red and shaking like the AC was on all the way. Daddy took his toy out, the one I always had with water. I love that game, how could he forget his daughter? He pointed it at her while she threw the ring he bought her. He got her in the head and my heart started beating harder. Daddy looked scared, he ran out the door. I guess he didn’t wanna play anymore. I went up to mommy, she was sleeping on the floor. I shook her and called her name looking at all her blue sores. They didn’t wake up so I put a blanket on them. I went back to bed waiting for the sun to come out. Little did I know, mommy and grandma passed away. I love them forever but daddy missing them, I had a doubt.

[poetryofjaee]

A Real Hero

A hero

is depicted as

a strong man

or woman

with super powers

and a uniform.

I do not find

this definition

very definitive

when it comes to a

hero.

A hero is anyone

who can provide

an inspiration.

Someone who displays

qualities of such

that one would like

to reflect.

Someone you love

can be a hero.

Especially if they saved your life,

in a metaphorical way.

Everyone has a hero.

Whether it’s a man,

a woman,

animal,

or imaginary thing.

Like I said,

a hero can be anyone

or thing.

My hero is one

where you cannot

find anywhere else.

He is a man

of which I love.

A man of who,

I feel,

defines perfection.

A man who

works his hardest.

A man who

knows what he wants.

A man who is not afraid

to say what he feels

and act upon his claims.

A man that helped

me

through mounds of

stress and pressure.

A man who puts forth

his greatest effort.

Such a man,

a hero,

(I feel the title he deserves)

is one worth

looking up to

and being difficult

to describe

in words.

The man I love

is my hero.

The man I love

is my inspiration.

The man I love

wears no cape

or uniform,

is incapable of any

super power,

and has no superhero

name.

But,

the man I love

wears my heart

and soul,

is capable of

great admiration,

and has the last name

of which I hope

to obtain.

He is my hero.

And my heart’s skips

will never change.

[poetryofjaee]

Isn't This What You Wanted?

I've changed That's what you wanted Right? Tears don't fall so easy now My mouth isn't so annoying now I write my age now I understand your views now I've changed I'm a different me Am I not? I know what I want now I yell at people easily now Don't offend me, I'll go crazy now Wait, what? I'm not me now? I've changed you say Isn't that the point? I wasn't enough before You've had enough now We're on different levels now You're on track But I'm off the road now What do you want now? A new me? Or a better someone else? Can't you see now? I'm not me I've changed I'm on a rant, a rampage now I've changed I defend myself very defensively now I've changed I'm trapped in a body I do not like now I've changed I've changed I've changed You don't like me anymore now