Poison Pen✍️

A collection of random thoughts, worries and questions that go through my mind🌻

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Pope Francis' last political act was to urge for compassion for migrants & criticise unlawful incarceration.

The Pope is not just the Head of the Catholic Church. He is also the Head of State for Vatican City. In this sense, he is a diplomat and a spiritual leader. And in an age where most global leaders are falling over themselves to find the "right balance" between voicing their dismay over US policies on Gaza and Ukraine while not upsetting Trump too much to avoid steep tariffs, Pope Francis chose to be quite unequivocal about his position on infringement of human rights.

One of the last political duties performed by Pope Francis was to lecture JD Vance and his administration on the lack of compassion shown towards migrants!🤭 Further, one of his last public duties was to visit Rome’s central prison on Thursday to meet with dozens of inmates. Here is an excerpt from AP News Rome:

"Francis met for nearly a half-hour with some 70 inmates at the Regina Caeli prison in Rome’s Trastevere neighborhood. It’s a prison Francis has visited before to perform the annual Holy Thursday ritual of washing the feet of 12 people to re-enact Christ’s gesture of humble service of washing the feet of 12 apostles before his crucifixion

Francis told the inmates he couldn’t do it this year, given his health, but wanted to nevertheless be with them and “do what Jesus did on Holy Thursday.”

The fact that the 88-year-old pope kept the appointment, when he is under doctors’ orders to take it easy and avoid crowds, was a clear sign of the importance he places on prison ministry and the need for priests to serve those most on the margins. That is all the more true during the 2025 Holy Year, which both opened and will close with special papal events for prison inmates."

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One of the most under-reported humanitarian crises in the world. When did we decide that the people dying in DRC don't matter or matter less than people dying elsewhere? Are all humans created equal?

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I read @chronicintrovert 's stories on a daily basis ❤️ Its a normal part of my life. And some might consider it weird because I am a 40+ woman and Alice mostly writes about teenage and young adults. But somehow I can't bring myself to care about what society thinks about this one, even though I am one of those people who cares about what society thinks a LOT!

But when it comes to Heartstopper, Nick and Charlie and Radio Silence etc - the joy I get from knowing and seeing SO MANY of my life events, experiences and emotions represented in an intricate and respectful manner is enough to cancel out any social anxiety.

And I am beginning to wonder, do I identify with Alice's work because she is 🖤🩶🤍🩷? And that is why her reading of moments match mine? I know this logic cannot be because people from all orientations love her work. But if I look at my experience alone- from inside out (if you know what I mean), I have never identified so much with the stories and felt so safe and comforted in their presence . In fact, I grew up, pretty much living in my head- making up stories about love and life because very few, if any, really "scratched the itch". And with Nick and Charlie or any other character is Osmanverse (though I do wish they would stop making Toby carry around a book always on Netflix), I don't feel the need to do that anymore. In fact, quite the opposite. I read the story, savour it, read it again, enjoy the nuances, the subtext, reflect on the social implications and societal imagery, nerd out over the use of certain exact phrases and how they perfectly capture a moment or emotion, educate myself on contemporary pop culture references....in a nutshell, I enjoy the literature!!!

I have always said "representation matters". And that is because I believe no matter who you are, you deserve your space and voice in society- unfettered choices to be who you are. And I will die on that hill, happily. But weirdly enough (now that I think about it) I never thought I needed or warranted any representation! 🤷‍♀️🙆‍♀️ Like these parts of me that I never saw on screen, were things that were supposed to be hidden, always - because I was weird and different and that was something to be ridiculed and hidden. The question of representation never even crossed my mind.

Whatever Alice's process is , however she does it, they have managed to faithfully portray young adult life experiences that have resonated with multiple generations. And that is really something!!

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When you are in an abusive relationship, you are made to feel ashamed of your very existence. Everything you do or try to do is questioned, derided and you are humiliated for it, often in full view of society.

Watching @chronicintrovert Heartstopper on Netflix has been very healing in this regard. In season 2 episode 2 - Family, Charlie shows up at the study hall to say hi to Nick. His pretext is that he wants to give Nick a pen that he borrowed.

I have been watching that scene on repeat, crying. You know why? Because I have been in that situation numerous times and suffice it to say that the characters in my life were not like the characters in Oseman's Heartstopper.

Most of the adult Heartstopper fans have shared the myriad of ways the books and the show is healing. And my story is no different. So, just to add to the collection of public discourse, I would like to add my two cents on the different ways in which, Oseman, through her work creates a universe of possibilities and positivity ❤️ *no you are crying*

1. Charlie wanted to see Nick at school and so he walked up to the Hall and asked to see him. He didn't have to second guess Nick's reaction or worry about all the ways that might invite scorn or wrath from Nick.

2. Mr. Farouk understood the assignment and called Nick up to the front of the class so that they speak for a few seconds. He could have easily taken the pen from Charlie and shooed him away, giving him a side eye - a tacit indication that he understands what Charlie might be up to and showing his disapproval. Don't Ask Don't Tell but definitely discourage and actively block anything that doesn't conform to heteronormative, sex-compulsory, neurotypical, narrative.

3. Nick was both relieved and happy to see Charlie. He didn't make too big a deal of Charlie being there - as if Charlie could have never thought of it, nor did he recoil or hesitate to meet him in a - why are you here, people might suspect - way. Nick never hid the fact that he loves being with Charlie. His struggle to "come out" is more an internal journey of him finally being able to admit to himself and his community that he is bisexual. Nick was never too interested in hiding his love for Charlie. He left it unsaid until he was ready to say it. That is very different to someone who is either ashamed of who they are or cannot admit to themselves the truth and therefore lashes out at anyone who is demonstrative of the relationship. The paranoia around not being discovered, in their head, justifies them to do terribly cruel things to their partner or loved one.

The thing is, that scene in Season 2 is not "one of the most iconic ones" - although most Heartstopper fans including myself will tell you that all scenes and dialogues of the book & series are iconic. I suppose what I am trying to say is that you won't see it making it on countdowns.

But what @chronicintrovert has done in that scene and many others is nothing short of BRILLIANT. It always amazes me how someone so young has such deep insight into the daily pin pricks of an unhealthy relationship. Oseman never for a second pretends that the world is all sunshine, rainbow and candyfloss. In fact, quite the opposite. We start off in a busy school with an overworked teacher. There are bullies, overbearing mothers, absent fathers, homophobic brothers, narcissistic boyfriends, nosey classmates, and transphobic countries and teachers. And when they are not making someone's life difficult, there is life and the challenges of growing up in a heteronormative, neurotypical, sex-compulsory environment.

Where Oseman breaks the mould is that they have gone ahead and visualised a world where love, kindness, friendship and families can thrive in spite of its less than ideal environment. And they have done that not by taking a break from reality, but by embedding the characters in reality and making them multidimensional.

This is where Oseman's tremendous ability to portray human interactions and emotions shines through like a powerful halogen beam piercing through darkness. It is clinical, precise and incisive. Oseman shows you can be whoever you want to be. But there is no excuse for you to be an a&&h0le! Every single character is pulled up for that one reason and one reason only. Further, they make it clear that no one is under any obligation to forgive someone who has been an a&&h0le to them.

For all 90s kids and even later ones, who grew up on glorification of the "imperfect hero" - he doesn't pick up your phone or pretends not to care, but he actually loves you- Heartstopper is nothing short of a revolution.

The power of this message to the current generation and to oldies like me should not be underestimated. There is a clear message in Heartstopper and all other stories in Osmanverse. This is what a loving, nurturing, healthy relationship looks like. And you may or may not be in a relationship ever. But you don't have to settle for a toxic or unhealthy relationship. No matter who you are, you deserve to hope for a nurturing relationship.

For all the 90s & 2000s kids who grew up on TV dramas venerating toxic heroes - the brooding, functional mute types who equated showing affection and being courteous to weakness - Heartstopper is nothing short of a revolution!!

911 was the first show where I realized that a boss doesn't have to be like Gibbs, he can be like Bobby. And Heartstopper showed me my teenage experience didn't have to be like a dragged out version of a relationship with Ben and having a combination of Charlie's mom and Nick's Dad as parents. I was right to be upset and to secretly want something more supportive so that I didn't feel worthless all the time! This validation of feelings, even though it came through the pages of a book & shadows on a screen from a land far far away , was immeasurably healing.

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Imagine not having anyone to love. What does that feel like? It is not a situation where you are bitter and do you like the people around you. Not at all. You like the people around you. In fact you love them and want to shower your love for them. But none of them want it. No one wants your love and affection. In my experience it is a lonely existence when you don't have someone special in your life to love you. But when you become irrelevant to everyone, when no one needs or wants your love, that is a whole new level of loneliness that I wouldn't even wish on my enemy.

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Echo Chambers & Soap Boxes

There is a well known, well-established critique of social media that it creates echo chambers i.e. virtual spaces where the same kind of thoughts and views are expressed...sometimes at the exclusion of all other views.

Well, my interactions with "real life people on social media" i.e. people I know in real life and also interact with on social media have convinced me that most people actually like the sound of their voice too much to even listen to other people. The reason these echo chambers are cropping up on all social media channels is not because people want an anonymous safe space where they can safely air their views. Everyone wants a soap box and all they want is an audience. That is why interaction with anyone holding opposing views is often so acrimonious- because the only way you get to engage someone and make them listen to you (that is if they are not in love with you) is if they are fighting you. When people are arguing they listen to each and every word of their opponent so that they can tear it to shreds. That is engagement at the highest level! Because it is not just listening, it is also critically analysing what the other person has said...even if it is to only to find holes in their argument.

Have we, as a species, lost the ability to focus and listen to views that are unfamiliar but also uninteresting to us? How will we learn and grow then? Have we reached a stage in our civilization where, knowledge or the thirst for knowledge is only the remit of the highly evolved, i.e. those with a €50 subscription of Headspace, who meditate for 2 hours every day and listen to long lectures in dark auditoriums? Isn't that what Aristotle called his Guardian class- the philosopher rulers, modern day's thought leaders. Or how the Caste System typically describes the Brahmans - those "with the ability and the responsibility" to be the trustee of knowledge. The rest, the hoi polloi are deemed to lack the faculties that enable them to learn the sophisticated languages- such as Latin or Sanskrit or access the holy texts- be it the Bible or the Vedas etc. It was up to the educated, elite class to translate and make accessible the teachings of these pious books to the masses. And for that, they were rewarded and revered. Isn't that what is happening now? We have so-called thought leaders- the modern day Gurus who tell us how to live and what to think. Whether you follow Andrew Tate or Deepak Chopra, Gabor Mate or Jordan Peterson, we are essentially looking for a guru to follow. And in this process, we are impatient to listen to anyone else. Because, once I imbibe the teachings of my guru, I want to preach it myself, as loud as possible, from my soap box i.e. retweet, repost, create content, like, reply, duet or stitch. I become a small link in a big chain but by virtue of being a link in that chain, I create my own little circle....slowly a necklace or a neck chain begins to emerge- the links forming the chain and the little circles around each link. Sometimes it may grow into a mesh blanket if the topic is big enough or salacious enough.

But before I get carried away with this analogy, let me come back to my original point. We are all looking for an audience, perhaps instinctively. And in this age of social media, we feel entitled to go looking for our audience at the cost of engaging with people. So, I might ignore a call from my mom or ignore a friend request etc if I am busy posting a video for my Instagram. The question is not whether it is right or wrong, or whether I do it or not, the thing is- it is acceptable. And that is where the problem lies for me.

So, what is this rant about? What does it REALLY boil down to?

Here it goes:

WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION OR SEND YOU SOMETHING, SEND ME A REPLY THAT ANSWERS THAT F*CKING QUESTION OR IS A RESPONSE TO THE CONTENT I SENT YOU! OTHERWISE, IGNORE ME AND DON'T REPLY. DON'T SEND ME A REPLY THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT I SENT YOU! IT IS RUDE.