Shhhh, I'm cool.

Everything is fine.

[sonnearchive-deactivated2022120]

[splattered1-deactivated20260311]

this blog is brought to you by unrestricted internet access as a child

[xenosagaepisodeone]

little known fact: this piece is incomplete, before writing the final words banksy became consumed by hubris and jacked off so hard to his artistic genius that he died. the intense blood splatter is what was left upon climax, suggesting that banksy was going to mold this piece into his magnum opus before his great fall. in mourning of this tragic event, residents of nyc suggested that banksy now be referred to as Banksy, The Big Jerk Off.

[shouldbepersephone]

bringing this gem from two years ago back to the light

i see we’re all having a normal one this auspicious ides of march

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Born to say it how it is, forced to give the customer service answer

[myjetpack]

An early Halloween cartoon for Guardian Books

[catgirl-catboy]

What I legit thought the punchline was gonna be.

[computer-wizard]

but what if

[metacrisisdoctor]

DOCTOR WHO Voyage of The Damned, 2007

[ushirominya]

last christmas man me a sand but the very next day man car door hook hand

[katestewartt]

Traditional Wilfred Mott wearing antlers Christmas post

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

people at the grocery store sometimes do a visible double-take about how many vegetables I'm buying. they look at me probably thinking wow she's so healthy! it's ok that she's also buying donuts! she's earned them!

you fools. all the produce is for my pet pig. I'm eating donuts for dinner.

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

an older woman actually stopped me once and told me I must be a great cook because I was just throwing random vegetables in my cart based on price. she was like "gosh! I would need a recipe to know what to do with all of those!"

i do have a recipe. it's very simple:

ingredients: vegetable

step 1: throw it on the ground.

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

this is my son. btw.

[hoziersong]

'tis the season

[coolguyoninternet]

Merry crisis everyone

[pixalry]

Stardew Valley Fan Art - Created by Jessica Smith

You can follow this artist on Instagram and Twitter.

[donthitanybody]

Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

[willgrahamscock]

the level of censorship around this man is ridiculous, what happened to free speech? It’s just his name.

[willgrahamscock]

calling her a “copy cat” when she didn’t do anything other than repeat 3 words is insane. her bail is set at 100,000.

[willgrahamscock]

as of now she’s facing 15 years in jail for ‘threatening’ the ceo of the insurance company that denied her claim. and isn’t that ironic? since women always get told that ‘threats don’t mean anything unless there’s action’ when it comes to reporting stalkers, ex and present partners who threaten abuse. but now a threat warrants this disproportionate action?

[trauma-tits]

Florida woman faces up to 15 years for saying ‘deny, defend, depose’ to insurance company

The woman's bail was set at $100,000 at a Dec. 12 court appearance.

[wolfwoodbignaturals]

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

[wolfwoodbignaturals]

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

[anxiouspineapples]

just because a television show doesn’t actively address a specific issue doesn’t mean they’re actively avoiding it either. you know what happens when you try to stuff every possible social debate under the sun into one show?

you get glee.

that’s what happens.

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[solongandthanksforallthefish42]

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left