Timeless

Moon dust in our lungs Stars in our eyes We are children of the cosmos ruler of the skies.

[poisoned-and-toxic]

why cat praised for being fat and covered in hair but not i

[poisoned-and-toxic]

You think aliens know what capitalism is?

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Me [Talking to myself]: If you kill a killer the number of killers will stay the same.

Me [Still talking to myself]: Then kill two.

[poisoned-and-toxic]

When your girlfriend is crying from laughing too hard and you try to be romantic and wipe away the tears but end up accidentally gouging her eyes out.

[poisoned-and-toxic]

MEN ARE NOT PIG'S !!!

Pig's are gentle

Sensitive,

Intelligent

Animals.

And Very Tastieee

in

!CowboySausage!

YEEEEEEEEEeee

HAAAWWWWwww

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Me: Okay brain I'm gonna go to sleep.

Brain: Okay.

Me: So you have to be quiet

Brain: Okay.

Me:

Brain:

Me: -Half asleep-

Brain: The snack that smiles back :)

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Me: "What does shrek have to do with spongebob?"

Maxwell(girlfriend): "I know but I meant to say shampoo"

[poisoned-and-toxic]

"Why are there so many gays on T.V?"

because.. there are gays... in real life... . walking amongst us.... living... breathing.......

gaying

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Girlfriend: *In the store with me and my mom.*

Girlfriend and I at the same time: What the fuck-

Mom: Language. There are other people around.

Girlfriend: I'm sorry- whom the fuck??

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Me: So, they didn't have oreos?

Girlfriend: Nope.

Me: THAT'S GAY!!

Girlfriend: ...

Girlfriend: Toxic, we've veen together for almost two years-

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Girlfriend: I swing both ways.

Girlfriend: *Violently swinging hockey stick* Come get some motherfuckers

Me: *In the background* Babe no-

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Me: Listen babe. In this world it's yeet or be yeeted.

Girlfriend: I'm literally begging you to stop.

[poisoned-and-toxic]

[poisoned-and-toxic]

me: *throws shade*

mom: pick it up now

[poisoned-and-toxic]

Can I get uhhhhh

Some sleep fucking please god