Astoria

Hi, I'm Astoria.

[poisonpetal-stan]

Regulus: I have a nickname for you. James: What is it Regulus: ‘Nothing’ James: *frowns* Why would you say that? Regulus: Because, if someone asks me what I’m thinking about, I can say ‘Nothing’ James: James: I love you.

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Evan: And just remember, I love you and I’m here for you whenever you need me. Barty: Bro, that’s gay Evan: We’ve been dating for a year. Barty: WE’RE gay

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James: *patting the space next to him* You look tired, you should sit down. Regulus: Ok Regulus: *Sits on James’ lap* James: I guess this works too.

[poisonpetal-stan]

Sirius: If you add unseasoned to any word, it becomes an insult. James: Unseasoned hoe Peter: Unseasoned bitch Sirius: Unseasoned hag Remus: YOU UNSEASONED FUCKS! IT’S 3 IN THE MORNING, GO TO SLEEP!

[poisonpetal-stan]

James: I need you. Regulus: For? James: Ever. Regulus: *tearing up* Oh…

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Barty: Do you ever look at me and think I’m a pen alien? Regulus: ??? Regulus: …No? Barty: I mean, look at me, I’m just too good looking to be human. Evan: *Three floors away* SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIM!

[poisonpetal-stan]

Peter: Remus, you’re so tall, what can you see from up there? Remus: Everyone’s flaws. Remus: *frowns in disgust* And Jegulus swaddling Reg’s cat in a blanket while pretending it’s their newborn child

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Barty: Just learned that a dentist a block away from here was arrested for dealing drugs. Sirius: Shows how wrong you can be about people. Evan: We’ve been going to him for a few years now. All three: Never knew he was a dentist.

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Remus: Tell me about Regulus. James: I asked him out, and he said ‘elk but what he doesn’t know is that ‘ew’ backwards is ‘we’ and in French, ‘we’ means yes. So we’re dating now!

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Remus: How’s the pasta? Sirius: Oh it’s fantastic, send my compliments to the chef. Remus: Alright! [in the kitchen] Remus: Hey, Regulus! Regulus: *cooking* Yeah? Remus: You have beautiful eyes. Regulus: *smiles and blushes* Thank you.

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Life lessons with Reggie!

Regulus: Nowadays, if I receive advice Regulus: Or if people just insult me, I’m like ‘Is that so?’

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The most memorable thing today was that a lot of people asked me to marry them, but I rejected them all. -Sirius Black at one point in his life.

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Regulus: It's October.

James: And...?

Regulus: To get into the Halloween spirit, I will be making ghosts.

James:....

James: THAT'S CALLED MURDER!!!!

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Lily, staring at Wolfstar: Perfect. What a perfect couple.

Lily, turning to face Jegulus, as Regulus attempts to pet his cats while caress James, who is desperately trying to get away but secretly enjoying it: Then there’s this.

[poisonpetal-stan]

Sirius: Hey, you wanna know a secret?

Remus: No.

Sirius: Okay.

Remus:

Remus: Do you smell smoke?

Sirius: The secret is that the house is on fire.

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Sirius: What are we gonna do?!

James, Peter & Remus: Blame you.

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James: What does it mean when someone says they're pescatarian and vegan?

Remus: Land animals are innocent of crimes but the fish have sinned.