Pokerant

This is a blog I started because my best friend and I found old Pokemon videos on VHS and started watching them again. While reading things on this blog, remember that we love pokemon! But there are so many things to poke fun at, that it hurts us a bit, and we can't help but point them out. :)

[pokerant]

Why is Giovanni is love/lust with Red? Why is that a thing?

[pokerant]

How many main characters does Pokemon have?

[nochannels-deactivated20211223]

[oshawott]

The most clever line in all of Pokemon.

[zoruargh-moved-deactivated20160]

Always reblog the drying pan.

[kawaiipatoot]

I want this as my senior quote next year.

[nwktastic-deactivated20121120]

That is some quick thinking there Brock.

[pokerant]

How many Eevee evolutions are there going to be?

Seriously. 

[pokerant]

Finally figured out how to make gifs!

YAY! Even though they aren't terribly good because I just figured it out. xD

[pokerant]

[pokerant]

pok

[pokerant]

Who's that pokemon?!

                                                 It's Jolteon!

Jolteon is one of the (now) many evolutions of Eevee. Jolteon first makes an appearance in the episode, The Battling Eevee Brothers. Jolteons are generally found around places of high voltage, such as power plants. However, because they require a Thunderstone to evolve, not many are found in the wild. Jolteon is, in my opinion, the fiercest looking of the Eevee evolutions. It's a good pokemon to evolve Eevee into in the video game, because of the general lack of electric type pokemon. 

Jolteon is:

An electric type.

Generally between 2'4'' - 3'0'' tall.

Considered a dog-like pokemon.

Generally between 50 - 60 lb.

Much more likely to be a male than a female in the game.

Emotionally sensitive.

[pokerant]

You've outdone yourself, Brock.

Brock: I could never forget you. Your hands are so small, but I'm sure they're also gentle and caring.

Nurse Joy: Uhh...

Brock: Dare I ask, might these healing hands impart their gentle loving care on my humble pokemon?

Nurse Joy: -awkwardly- Oh, of course. Caring for hurt pokemon is what I do.

Brock: And perhaps once you've healed them, you can also heal my aching-

Misty: Ahhh, can you check out my pokemon too?

Me: WOW, that was actually really awkward even for you, Brock. You've outdone yourself.

[pokerant]

It never ceases to amaze me

WHY do pokemon like Misty so much more than Ash? I mean, sure, Ash is kind of dumb. But he really does love his pokemon. Misty is a douche! Are pokemon just masochistic and like being in abusive relationships?

[dagger-of-moonlight]

So...

If I were to:

Train my cat to attack things 

Go outside with it

find a squirrel 

Beat the squirrel half to death

Throw balls at it’s half beaten body

I wouldn’t be a pokemon trainer. I’d an abusive pet owner, with potentially homicidal tendencies.  

WHY IS IT OKAY IN THE POKEMON WORLD?!

[pokerant]

Why is it okay at all? Pokemon, why do you do these things?

[pokerant]

Why?

Why is Brock such a creeper? Why was that made into a thing? I guess because it's Japan...? Regardless, it kind of hurts me a bit every time. Especially when Brock kind of flirts with Molly in the third movie with Entei, which I can't remember the name of at the moment. I'll add it in later if I remember to. I'm too tired right now. 

[pokerant]

Thunder? Really?

It has always bothered me that Pokemon calls lightning attacks thunder attacks. 

WHY?! Thunder is a sound. Lightning is the electrical component. Thunder will not shock anyone. 

[pokerant]

One track mind

Prima: The ocean is beautiful, isn't it?

Ash: Oooh, forget about the ocean, will ya? Let's have a battle!

Prima: This must be one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Ash: Who cares? Let's battle!

Prima: Ahh... Feel the soft air on your face.

Ash: C'mon! Let's go!

Prima: The sea and the sky... One reflecting the other.

[pokerant]

                                       Who's that pokemon?!

                                       It's Vulpix! 

This cuddly fox-like pokemon makes several appearances in the Pokemon TV show. Most notably as Brock's temporary companion. He gains Vulpix from Suzy in Pokemon Fashion Flash, and returns Vulpix in Beauty and the Breeder. 

Vulpix are born with a single white tail, which splits into six parts and gains it's color as it grows. They also have an internal flame, which allows them to use fire attacks. Because of it's internal flame, Vulpix often breathes fire in the day time to itself from over heating. They are more often seen at night. 

Vulpix evolves into Ninetails using a fire stone. It is one of the few pokemon that uses a fire stone to evolve.

[pokerant]

...What?

What up with the inconsistency between the pokemon video games and the tv show? I mean, just between pokemon blue/red and pokemon yellow. Isn't yellow supposed to be more of a reflection of the show? I mean, you have the Pikachu that follows you around and such. 

But why does Gary have an Eevee instead of a Squirtle? When did that become a thing? Evidently in the show, Gary has a Squirtle. Why make that change? It boggles my mind. Even in the other games, Gary always chose the pokemon that your pokemon was weak against. Squirtle is weak against Pikachu. So it's still weird. 

...Seriously. WHY?!

[pokerant]

I'm counting five.

Professor Oak: "Ash, four pokemon trainers left Pallet town on their Pokemon journeys."

Wait... Four? Let's count this up. Ash slept through his alarm, and when he got to Professor Oak, all three beginning pokemon were gone, correct?

Trainer 1: Charmander

Trainer 2: Squirtle

Trainer 3: Bulbasaur

Gary: Eevee

Ash: Pikachu

Really, Professor Oak? I'm counting five.

Edit: Mbtone530, you are correct. I keep forgetting that he had Squirtle. The only game I've played in the last year was Pokemon Yellow, and I never remember seeing him use his Squirtle. I need to rewatch the whole thing. xD

I was going to delete this entry because of inaccuracy, but I think I'll just write another post!