Hello! We're Polaris, an asterism (or group) of (currently) 10 headmates from the same system (Shadesong) that are all fictives from In Stars and Time. The first few of us to appear in system decided to make this little sideblog for us for fun, and as more of us have appeared, it's been nice to have our own space.
Currently, all of us except Bonnie are the body's age (we're an adult). Or, well, to be more accurate, we don't really. Have ages? So we go with the body's age. Bonnie is 12, but does not need to be treated like a child.
Doubles and sourcemates are more than welcome to interact.
Who's currently fronting?
Our main system blog is @rainbowkuriboh, our Kingdom Hearts system sideblog is @systemthatneverwas, and our Persona system sideblog is @asterismofheart. System fictionkin blog is @cybersemagician (we do have an isat kin on there)
More information about us can be found under the cut.
In order of who formed first...
Mod Siffrin - The host of the system. Siffrin uses he/they pronouns. (Chance)
Mod Supernova - Mod Supernova is a Loop fictive and uses they/them pronouns. Formerly used the name Mod Stardust. Not the same as current Mod Stardust. Easily front triggered by music, helps us drive a lot. (Naos)
Mod Mirabelle - Mod Mirabelle uses they/them pronouns. Likes to explore faith. (Lilac)
Mod Odile - Hello, I'm Mod Odile, and I use they/them pronouns. I do a lot of the job work and a lot of the system chronicling. (Eclipse)
Mod Stardust - Used to be part of Siffrin's subsystem; sourced from Mal du Pays, sourced from the VS Friends fight, sourced from a noncanon Dark Link from the Legend of Zelda series. Self-described as 'a fusion between Siffrin and Wish Craft itself'. Stardust uses they/he pronouns.
Mod Bonnie - Mod Bonnie uses they/them pronouns. Please do not treat them like a child.
Mod Isabeau - Has a lot of difficulty fronting. Uses he/him pronouns. Deals with gender dysphoria. (Echo)
Mod Cetus - Cetus is both a Loop fictive and a Euphrasie fictive. A Euphrasie that looped in time trying to defeat the King before Siffrin's party. Cetus uses they/he pronouns. (Naos)
Mod Cepheus - Cepheus is both a Siffrin fictive and a King fictive. A Siffrin that turned back time to freeze Vaugarde into perfection. Cepheus uses he/him pronouns. (Chance)
Mod Sirius - Sirius is a Siffrin fictive from the same canon as Cetus and Cepheus. The Siffrin that broke the cycle of Siffrins turning into the King. Sirius uses he/they pronouns. (Chance)
Soulbonds:
Loop - Refers to any headmates in the system as 'stardust'. Unable to front, as far as we're aware. Uses they/them pronouns. Has yet to use this blog.
Current relationships within the system:
Siffrin & Mirabelle & Isabeau & Supernova & Stardust - Queerplatonic
Siffrin and Odile and Stardust- Romantic
Supernova and Isabeau - Romantic
Bonnie - basically adopted by the rest of us
Cetus and Cepheus - doomed yaoi or something
This post will be updated or remade as needed. - Mod Odile
monochrome star divider made by g0ds-f4v-svp3rn0v4
honestly it's been harder to use sideblogs like this one lately. and we've been trying to be more open about plurality on main as well, so. mirabelle will probably keep doing their religion posts on here for organization sake, but. well.
if you want to hear from us more you can follow our main too
last week, when going to the bible study we mostly attend to spend time with our mom... it kinda caused us to panic and freak out. when we've been working so hard to learn self compassion and self confidence, to remind ourself that we are capable and can do things...for the bible study to kind of throw that back in our face and be like, well, if you're feeling able to handle what life throws your way, if you're confident in your ability to weather the storm, then you're doing religion wrong
like. um. we've never felt confident or capable. we never feel like we're able to do anything right. probably contributing to whatever kickstarted our physically painful anxiety attacks. haha.
we weren't even going to go this week. since we had an appointment at the same time. but. we ended up going anyway. and just doing the appointment before going into the study. and this week was. better?
it actually lined up with this week's therapy session really well. hard times are hard, and there's no discounting that. for better or for worse, they shape who we are. and, for better or for worse, there's lessons to be learned from the hard times. it's an opportunity.
it's also worth it, though, to look at the lessons we've learned from those opportunities...and see if they're still serving us. because it's really easy to pick up harmful stuff too, like, 'i'm too emotional and showing my emotions will only get me hurt'. that one doesn't really help. but. 'i got through this hard situation and i persevered, and didn't just survive it, i bounced back, and got myself into a better situation. so i know i am stronger than i think i am.' that's a better one, unrelated to the first one.
we are always growing, always learning...and we always have the opportunity to take what we've learned and question it, to figure out if it's really a fact, or if that lesson we learned is actually hurting us...
and it's a good reminder, too. that the religion isn't all bad. it's done a lot of harm, yes. but there's still good things to pick up out of it. the reminders to love, to view the world from the point of view of love. the reminders to not succumb to despair. the reminders that we are always growing and changing and learning.
it's late and i'm not wording well so i just hope some of that makes sense. haha.
anyway. here's hoping the next session doesn't trigger a panic attack like last week did.
Did you know her?
Her dreams, her aspirations? One single sentence, address the rest,
So tell me how you knew her?
Embellish your relation, pain that you feign for a strange 'cuz you'd rather see me gone.
been trying to figure out some system stuff as of recent, current theory is that one of our hosts (oldest active headmate) is actually a subsystem consisting of himself and a little who's held our gender issues since middle school. this little from the subsystem goes by iris currently, uses they/she pronouns.
doodled chance giving iris his hat as a sort of symbol of accepting whatever's going on with her and being open to working with her and helping her.
it's not good art. ours never is. just trying to get some feelings and emotions out.
we applied for a different job last week. this is largely motivated by rising gas prices and the fact that we have a 40 minute work commute one way. and we were asked to interview this week. so we interviewed this morning before we came into work.
then of course we had to tell our supervisor about the interview afterwards because. it's a job within the same agency we work for so he's being used as a reference
then we have a panic attack over the idea that a) we're abandoning our current program by interviewing outside it, and b) that we're replaceable and do not matter in the grand scheme of things
THEN our mom texts us. and follow me here. we work for different programs within the same agency, but weirdly, the way things line up, our supervisors have the same supervisor. so mom tells us that our supervisor's supervisor told her (this person works in the same building as her but not as us) UMPROMPTED that they're working on a job description for a new position in my program, and i am the person they have in mind for the position. and wanted me to know that but not to tell anyone else.
(not that it matters. i know my coworkers are not interested in the position)
apparently when i told my supervisor about my interview, that caused the chain of command above me to panic and scramble to try to work on getting this job posted.
so we went from thinking no one wants us and we don't matter, to apparently we are very desirable.
i'm still reeling from this and i was the main fronter for all of this. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
we've been doing some introspection. which is like. part of the reason we've been quiet on this blog. we had a Realization, we have been exploring the implications of said Realization, and we are now solidifying the details of this new understanding of ourselves.
for a long time, we were just kinda flying by the seat of our pants, able to differentiate in some cases between fully developed headmates and fragments, somewhat aware that some of our headmates had multiple names but not paying it much mind and just counting them as separate people anyway because we didn't know what the cases of that actually were, just that they existed. and we have over 100 people logged. and we were fine with that.
then something happened, we realized that we were no longer fine with this and needed to figure out exactly what was up here.
so we've been making spreadsheets and moving pieces around and we've got things figured out.
we are a system of fifteen fully cooked headmates. we have a number of fragments not counted in that number that are still cooking in the kiln. however, there are fifteen of us fully developed.
all 15 of us are fictives with multiple sources, multiple facets to us. we still go between the names of whatever facet is most prominent in the moment, but we each have a....overall name? a most correct name? and for some of us, that's the name of one of our facets, and for one of us, it's completely different, coming from none of our facets.
or, if it makes more sense this way, i think this explanation also works: there's fifteen of us, but each of us have multiple fictionkin identities.
so we have a pinned post to update, and then, uh, we should make a post actually sharing who is who
Pinned post is updated with accurate info! Copying it down here for anyone who wants to see but doesn't feel like digging it up -
Our list of active fragments is by no means exhaustive, but those are the ones you're most likely to see at this time.
Do not tell us how to treat our own littles; they are fine on the internet without supervision.
I know this is a big change, so I hope this isn't too confusing! Since we've started to approach our system organization and understanding from this direction, we've felt less distressed, more put together, and better able to tell who is in front. At this point, we expect that pattern to continue.
Winter has been killing us energy-wise, which impacts our ability to converse and post on tumblr. Hopefully as things warm up and get less dark outside, we'll start feeling better. We're also working on migraine management, which should also help.
An update on the main system blog about our changing understanding of our own system! Probably won't impact this blog much, we'll still use our source names over here, but in case anyone over here is curious
Ah, today was about at productive at work as we were capable of. I made certain of that. Lots of human interaction (tiring), lots of documentation and paperwork (tiring), lots of bitching about management. Absolute dolphin (negative)
Went to the store and picked up dinner options for us and the brother... and washed our car, finally. We've been holding off on getting it washed because we keep getting storms on the forecast, but it seems like it'll calm down for a bit, perhaps
...And now I have handed off the baton to Supernova, who was brought to front by driving music. Deploy the nonbinary gay.
....IT'S BEEN A WHILE, HUH....
Our head is screaming at us and I'm not sure if it's from the amount of work Odile pushed us through or winter itself or what...
But! Supernova takeover! I'll see if some medicine helps I blinding guess
Discord is going downhill so i like half wonder if it would be worth making a tumblr commumity for isat fictionfolk but i am also...the anxious...the worrier....what if people don't like the idea what if it's silly what if i'm cringe
If it's a good idea, maybe the Universe will give me a sign....
Read a really good character study post about Siffrin being amab and Loop possibly being transfem
And I need to emphasize it's really really good
But it's making me so itchy at the same time and I feel so bad about it but I'm Loop and I'm not a girl I'm not a girl I'm transmasc. Siffrin in our system is also transmasc. I think Supernova and Stardust are just nonbinary but--
Deep breaths. It's not about me, though, the post isn't about me. It's about my source it's about a character it's not about me I'm real I'm allowed to be trans I'm allowed to be masc--
Some relationships in our system have uh. shifted.
siffrin and supernova and stardust are now a queerplatonic trio. supernova and stardust decided the romance thing wasn't working out for them so they're trying something different
supernova is now romantically involved with our isabeau soulbond!
and uh. stardust wants to try out a romantic relationship with me (naos)? so we're trying that?
there's so many of us and so many relationships going on oh my,
i've been uh. debating whether i exist for a while now and it's part of what keeps us from posting on this blog? because i couldn't tell who i was? i've been masking as siffrin for ages but i'm. not siffrin
we've decided on the name naos for me. i have two sources; loop from in stars and time and rio from yugioh zexal. i'm just kind of both in a way that's really hard to describe.
so!!! it's nice to be here!! maybe now that i know who i am i'll post more??
