➛ SEVENTEEN’s Jeonghan because I’m a sucker for rivalry plots in Hogwarts!au.
➛ Word count: 989.
“Michael! How’s your mother doing, my dear boy? Still visiting the Minister on Sundays?”
Though the party continued, you and Chan stood motionless, watching Professor Slughorn’s back. His current smile held no memory of a frown he had directed at your friend before. It was as if the exchange had never happened.
Cider tasted sour on your tongue. Golden liquid swirled in a crystal glass. It was the only point of scenery your stare could escape to. You knew what was coming. After all, you were the reason your friend had to talk to the professor. Slughorn expected people of good social standing, not the son of muggle business owners.
„I think I need to leave for a moment.” Chan looked sick. He’s always been rather proud and never took well to rude (or passive-aggressive) remarks.
As soon as he made a step forward, you grabbed his elbow.
“I’ll go with-“ Chan pulled his arm free. Coldness took over an usual warm smile.
“No, I’d rather you not.” His firmness hurt. “You’re the one who brought me to this farse. What, to show pity to a Muggle-born? Thank you so much for thinking so lowly of me, (y/n)! I knew I could count on a smart seventh year.”
Silence settled once he was finished. Other attendees looked between each other, clearly having heard everything. Chan’s wild gaze traveled around the room, before he cleared his throat and left in a hurry. He did his best to cover a frown, but you still noticed tears glistening in the whites of his eyes.
“Well- What were we talking about, again?” Professor Slughorn broke the uncomfortable silence. His companion looked disoriented for a moment, but quickly returned to the conversation. Others followed.
With nothing to do, no one to open your mouth to, you remained in place. Flames of overhead chandelier flickered in your cider. Heavy curtains warmed your back. Under different circumstances the spot wouldn’t be the worst to find yourself abandoned in. At that moment though, your mind was restless, suffering from both embarrassment and guilt. Chan’s words hung in the back of your head. He had to forgive you eventually. Of all the things that could be said about your friend – he wasn’t the one to hold grudges. Chan got over his little failures with a good night sleep, at least on the outside. He’s never been the one to talk things out.
Black lacquered shoes appeared in a deformed form at the bottom of your glass. Flaps of a robe pushed through your consciousness. You could smell him, before looking up.
“Your date sure has a love for dramatics, huh?” A smirk sounded clear in his voice. “That’s why you don’t mingle with third-years.”
“Jeonghan, if I’d known you were going to come, I wouldn’t have bothered.”
“As if I would ever give up on a chance to upstage you. Especially at the most prestigious event of the school year.” He went silent for a moment. “Though, I’ve got to admit, I doubt anyone remembers my effective entrance now. You know, with how your date left.”
A part of you wanted to bite back. You were so used to it, the arguing felt only natural. But when your mouth opened, nothing came out. No sound, not even a sigh. Your memory brought you back to Chan and so you took a big swig at the cider. Jeonghan was watching you carefully the entire time.
“Shouldn’t you follow or something?”
“Chan?” He nodded. “It’s better to leave him alone. He doesn’t like being seen vulnerable.”
“Poor kiddo. But that’s what you’ve got to expect when mingling with third years-”
“Oh fu-“ You checked Professor Slughorn’s profile. “fuck off, Jeonghan. Don’t you have better things to be doing? Can’t you see I’m really not in the mood for bickering? What do you want me to say? Uh, you won, in whatever it is you wanted to win. There. Now leave me alone.”
Though you did your best to avoid his gaze, he still insisted on staring at your face. As if there was no audience to watch you, have they entertained the thought.
“Well, all I’m saying is that-“ He finally turned his face away from you. “Um, you should have just asked me.”
“Ask you? Ask you what?” Jeonghan scoffed without much humor.
“To go to the party together, genius.”
There was no word to describe how you felt at that moment. The guy surely had to be joking.
“Wow, your humor actually got better. Good job.”
Jeonghan stayed silent for a while, prompting you to look in the same direction he was staring. You weren’t sure whether it was a group of attendees or a bookshelf that stole his attention. His lips twisted, eyes rolled in their sockets, tips of lacquered shoes met in a single clap.
“Of course, you couldn’t possibly keep up with me. I’m the life of a party, meanwhile you’re moping in the corner on your own, drinking cider as if you could get drunk on it. Quite dramatic.”
“There’s nothing better for me to be doing right now, so…” Someone coughed in the distance, distracting you.
When you looked back, Jeonghan was facing you again, his mouth opened. He was quick to close it under the weight of your gaze.
“Yeah. Well, whatever. Sounds like a you problem. Now excuse me, I’ll return to people showing me some interest. You know, actually being fun… and somehow smarter than you.”
After one lasting look, you weren’t sure how to interpret, Jeonghan turned on his heels and walked away, chin high the entire time. A group of nearby students, one of which seemed to be the person he invited, welcomed the boy excitedly. His departure left you colder than before. Maybe because his attention did good job of elevating blood pressure.
With everybody busy, you took your sweet time carefully refilling the glass with cider.
Saw your post about the ikon and seventeen pieces you’re working on and just wanted to say I can’t wait! Love your writing!
Oh my god, sorry for not answering earlier :( saw your message and then got distracted. Thank you so much for support ;-; I'm working on them (posted 1st ikon group post), just struggling with wanting to post something of good quality meanwhile all my sentences feel like they were written by an 8 year old.
➛ Requested! Beware of cringe. Regular text indicates reader’s lines, italics indicate the member’s. The last scene for each member is meant to be angsty.
JAY
”Um-“ *silence* “What are you doing?” “Isn’t it obvious?” *silence* “I mean- I’m not sure how to read this.” “Come now, babe. How can you be unsure?” “Is it sensual, or something?” “(y/n), I’m a really patient person, I swear.” *silence* “I’m trying to make you lust for me. Not the first time during our relationship, may I add.” “Ah, okay. I was unsure. Last time you didn’t mean that and-“ “Oh, just come here.”
“Is my face that amazing?” “It’s fine.” “Ay, don’t spare me the compliments. What is the highlight of it? My eyes?” *pause* “Perhaps.” “Don’t drown in them.” “Wouldn’t wish to.” *humming* “Ah, you’re so taken by my beauty, you can’t talk properly?” “You’re ruining a moment we were having- I was having.” “Oh no, do continue basking in my presence.” “I’ve already lost interest, thank you.”
*laughing* “Why are you laughing?! That car just sprayed a puddle of water on me” *laughing continues* “Are you serious, Jinhwan?” *still laughing* “Oh fuck off.” *hurried footsteps* “No, babe-“ *returns to laughing* “Ah that was really funny though!” “I’m soaking!” “That’s the funny part! Here, have my jacket.” *laughing* “I don’t want your jacket.” “Oh, don’t be a grump! Appreciate the joy of random accidents in life!”
“Your feet are too cold! Do you really want me to suffer?”
“So? Met up with the guy today as well?” “What the hell are you on about-“ “Did you?” “I’ve told you! He‘s a coworker and there’s nothing going on!” “The last time I’ve seen you two there were obvious sparks.” “Nobody besides you saw them, so get your eyesight checked.” “You’re super defensive about it.” “Of course- *shuffling* “You know what? I don’t have to listen to that, Jinhwan, and I won’t. Have a good night figuring out what you thought you saw.” *footsteps*
SONG
”What is this?” “A token of my appreciation?” *humming* “Just don’t fall asleep yet.” “I’m not, I’m keeping my eyes wide-open.” “I can see them closing.” *pause* “Yunhyeong?” “They’re closing because I’m relaxing.” “Alright. I’m going to trust you.” “Do you ever not trust me? Ow!” “Change of topic!” “No no, do elaborate!” “Do you want me to stop massaging?” *sigh* “You’re the one working though.” “That’s what I get for treating you – fights.”
“What are you thinking about?” “Me?” “No, the agent listening to our conversation. Of course you.” *a snort* “Before that terrible joke I was thinking about how much I miss you. Then you reminded me what you’re like in real life, so thanks for that.” “Aw, Yunhyeong! You’re missing me!” “That was before-“ “I miss you too. Phone calls make very little difference.” “Eh you need to suffer a little before we get back together. So you can appreciate me more.” “Is that your way of telling me something?” “I don’t know…” *laughing*
“Um… Yes. And with sauces I’ll get spicy and garlic…” “Yunhyeong!” “Sorry,” *pause* “What is it?” “Don’t forget the basil one!” “Ah, yes. I’ll also have basil sauce for my darling.” *pause* “Thank you. Goodbye.” *a beep* *light slap* “Ouch! What for?” “For embarrassing me!” “With what?” “The pizza guy doesn’t need to listen to you calling me your darling!” “Well- Did I lie? I can call you darling whenever I want. And if he does have a problem- he better back off.”
“There. You’ll be warmer now.” *smooching* “And don’t say I never care, doofus.”
“I’ve worked really hard on this evening. It was meant to be the time just for us – you know, a date?” “I know-“ “You never have time for me anymore.” “It’s not intentional.” “You come home and you’re tired. It’s the weekend and you’re still too tired.” “The work has been a lot lately, Yunhyeong.” “ I don’t expect a lot. An hour at least. An hour of your time and I’ll manage.” “It’s not that I don’t want to-“ “I’m tired of excuses.” *sigh* “Will head to bed now… Good night.”
BOBBY
“How do you look so warm?” *humming* “It’s Winter and you’re sleeping shirtless.” *rustling* “Are you cold?” “…Yeah?” “Come on then.” *rustling* *shuffling* *snorting* “Watch your hands!” “What?” “You’ve almost-“ “Oh! Oh- Get over yourself, Jiwon. I was just reaching over to hug you.” “Why are you so defensive all of sudden? Is that why you’ve noticed my lack of shirt?” “Maybe cuddling was a terrible idea-“
”Is that- a band aid?” “There? Yeah. I don’t know how I’ve managed to hurt myself.” “Babe-“ *shuffling* “You’ve got to be careful. You’re bringing pain to my significant other and that’s a big no-no in my book.” “And what will you do? I can’t help being a klutz.” “Now that’s just rude. You’re not that klutzy.” “Oh wow, way to make me feel better.” “What should I do about you then, hm? Wrap you in bubble wrap?” “Maybe it’d be the best for everyone.” *snorting*
“Jiwon? Where- What are you doing?” ”Okay, but am I a badass, or am I a badass?” *silence* “Well?” “What is this outfit?” “I call it The Badass.” “You’re dressed like a pirate.” “My point exactly.” “Why are you dressed like that?” “Why not?” “I mean- You know what I mean!” “Ah, I know what this is about. You’d rather have me walking shirtless, right?” “Jiwon-“ *pause* “With a cleavage like that I can clearly see your chest and it’s not like I ever had a problem-” “Look at the puffy sleeves!”
“You’re not going anywhere tomorrow. I’ve got you locked in a hug and that’s not changing for at least 24h.”
“I don’t know what to do anymore. Feels like the world is falling apart and I’m just watching.” *shuffling* “You mean- You feel like you’re not doing enough to stop it? You know, from falling apart?” *humming* “Sometimes things get out of your control and there’s nothing you can do.” *silence* “Maybe the right thing is to watch them, lean on someone else and strike after – with a fresh mind.” “That someone else- Like you?” “For example. But it doesn’t have to be me. Whoever feels right.” *silence* “I am here, that’s what I’m trying to say. We’re partners, after all. If there’s anything I can do, I will.”
B.I
“How do I look in this shirt?” “Are you being serious?” “Yeah? So how do I look?” “Well- great. But you look great in everything.” “That doesn’t sound very genuine.” *footsteps* “But whatever, just think. You’re your parents and you see me in this. What is the first word, no, first phrase that comes to your mind? Son-in-law?” “Hanbin!” “No, don’t hide! Tell me! Cooperate with me, (y/n)!”
“Bad Hanbin! Stop stealing the duvet!” “And what are you going to do about it? Call me dog names?” “I’m cold! You’re doing that just to piss me off.” “And?” “Hanbin.” “Your angry face doesn’t work on me. I’m immune.” “Well, then stop!” *silence* “I’m getting annoyed. Do I really have to wrestle it out of your hands?” “Try me.” “You’re not being cute. You’re being an asshole.” *sigh* “Whatever I’m going to sleep in the living room.” “Oh, come on, I was just joking around-.” *shuffling* “- you baby.” “Hanbin!”
“That was pretty funny.” “No! It was terrible! I don’t understand how you can still laugh about it.” *pause* “So how about this – I pay you and we never speak of this again.” “You want to pay me?” “Yeah.” “Don’t be naïve,” “Hm?” “I’d take the money and still talk about it. Use it as a free law advice.” “You’re demonic.” “You’re the one who wants to pay your partner for silence, my dude.” “So I’ve got to deal with all the misery?” “You slipped on grass!” “And ripped my pants!”
“I know what you did last evening, (y/n). Don’t think I’ll so easily forgive you watching the latest episode without me.”
*deep sigh* „Hanbin, talk to me.” *long outstretched silence* “I know you’re not sleeping. Your shoulders are stiff.” *silence continues* “Babe-“ *pause* “Don’t push my hand off. Let’s be mat- no, reason-“ “Why are you stopping yourself?” *silence* “Just call me immature and unreasonable… That’s what you’re thinking, right?” *silence* “I think you’re being unfair towards me. And I’m sorry if my choice of words hurt you. It was unfortunate.” *again, silence* “Alright, nevermind…”
DK
“You’re already in bed?” “Hm? Yeah, it’s been a long day.” “You should’ve told me. I can’t let you sleep alone.” *shuffling* “I didn’t know you were tired as well.” “I’m not.” *more shuffling* “But I can’t let my favorite person grow lonely.” “I’m going to sleep. I won’t feel the loneliness.” “You will, but don’t worry, I’m here now.” “Thank you?” “You’re welcome!” *smooching* “Good night.”
“Listen- Listen!” “I was already listening!” “Alright, shh-“ *laughs* “No, seriously shh.” “Donghyuk, just get to the point.” “Stop, stop yelling at me- But nevermind, I’m going to talk now.” *silence* “I-“ *laughs* “No, stop laughing!” *choking on laughter* “This is so stupid, what are we even laughing at?” “You’ve started it!” “You wouldn’t listen!” “Are you kidding me right now?” “Shh-“
“Oh, and this one is of me on the playground. That guy, right there? A total asshole. He’s always been the character I wanted to be. Something about him being older and shit.” “And you’re still mad? To this day?” “Yeah. He was a pain in the ass. I’ve never once had a chance!” *rustling* “You’re naked on this one!” “I was a baby!” “To be honest, a cute one.” “If we ever get one, it will be even cuter.” “Ew. I came here to have good time and make fun of you as a child.”
“Baby, stop acting. I know you’re not sleeping.”
“How many times do I have to apologize? I’ve never had any bad intentions!” “It doesn’t matter anymore.” “It doesn’t? Then why are you acting like that?” “I’m not acting like anything, just get off my case. I’m really not in the mood.” “Of course.” “What? What of course?” “It’s always the same with you. Never in the mood to talk about things that bother me.” “No, the problem is that you never know when to stop and give people space.” “That’s because I care and want to talk it out!”
JU-NE
„Stop acting like you hate when I do that.” „I’m not acting, I really hate that!” „Babe, look me in the eye and say it. See? You can’t, because you love when I do that face.” „You’re so annoying- Nobody likes overly self-assured people.” „Yeah, just you.” „Junhoe!” *pause* *sigh* „Just don’t do it in front of other people.” „Ah, so it’s about jealousy? Babe, should have said so earlier!” „No- I-„ *rustling* „Shh. It’s alright. I’ve got you.”
“It’s the middle of the night. What the hell are you doing?” “I was hungry!” “So you’ve decided to start throwing pans around?” “I mean- I didn’t intend to be loud.” “Jun-“ “I could really use a grilled cheese! Also, how can you be sleeping when I’m struggling? I didn’t have dinner and my stomach hurts, how do I sleep like that?” “Just eat before going to bed!” “You were already in bed when I came back home!”
“Did- Did you just slap my butt? In public?” “And what about it? That butt’s been calling for me, babe.” “You’re so embarrassing-“ *footsteps* “I needed my revenge.” “For what?” “For that time two weeks ago.” *pause* “At the mall?” “Oh- Oh yeah.” *pause* *dull slap* “Junhoe!” “Woah, looks like your revenge was short-lived. Sorry babe, but I’m the sheriff here.” “And I’m the embarrassing one? It’s not the last time you’ve heard of me, you rascal!”
“Wow I was about to say something really romantic and then realized you’re sleeping.”
“Do you really think that?” “What?” “You know – that being with me is a chore. Am I that difficult?” *long pause* *a sigh* “Not really, I don’t think so. I said that because I got caught up in the moment.” *pause* “But sometimes I do get on your nerves, right?” “Well- Of course. But it’s not like I’ve been annoyed with anyone.” *humming* “What I mean is that, you know, I said the first mean thing I thought of and if you really were a chore to me, we wouldn’t be together.” “That’s true.” *silence*
CHAN
“(y/n), please stop.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Yes- Yes, you do.” *pause* “(y/n), the people from that table are watching us. They seem weirded out.” “Not my problem.” “Okay, I’m the one struggling here. I’m embarrassed. If you love me, stop.” “You do realize it was the entire reason? Embarrassing you?” “I do. You’re so funny, ha ha, point proven. Now please, stop.” *clatter* “Don’t start with me next time. This is what my revenge looks like.” “I’m never going out with you again.”
“I’ve been thinking-“ “That’s usually a bad sign.” *pause* “I will pretend I didn’t hear that. Anyway, we should go somewhere next week.” “Uh, you want me to leave the house.” “Yeah, like you do, almost every day.” “That’s different.” “Is not!” “Well, what’s wrong with staying home?” “Nothing, I just offered a change in plans.” *an extremely long pause* “Chanwoo?” *dramatic sigh* “Alright if it makes you happy.”
*sigh* “That’s it.” “Oh, come on!” “I’ve been patient, but this-“ *pause* “this is where my patience ends.” “It’s only 1 AM. Don’t act like you’ve never went to bed late.” “This is different!” “I rarely complain when it’s the other way around.” “Not when you demand attention!” *silence* “Alright, I usually give in.” *silence* “Ugh, stop with these stares. You’re not proving a point.” “You’re a hypocrite.” “Whatever, now come on, to bed.” *shuffling* “But to turn the console off in the middle of me playing… barbaric.”
“You’re still mad about not getting a good morning kiss? Really?”
“So I say – just give up. I know you. I know it’s hard acknowledging a mistake. I also think that pulling me into dumb drama to hide behind my back isn’t healthy. Neither for you, nor for them. Chanwoo, I won’t be here every time you get into argument. I won’t always agree with you, just because we’re together.” *a deep breath* “In other words – let’s be adults. Acknowledge a mistake. Apologize, or at least think about it, I don’t know. See you home.” *a beep*
ੈ♡‧₊˚ DON'T LEAVE ME LOVING YOU [angst, smut] ✧∘* superhero!au; iron man!yuta x f!reader ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟwc: 3.2k+ — part of this collab
summary: if there was one thing nakamoto yuta hated was having to watch people leave, the feeling of loneliness more frightening than any other — which was why he loved you so much, because you would never give him such treatment, right?
warnings: m/f smut; unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), creampie.
inspired by: lmly by jackson wang
a/n: this all takes place after endgame, and the final battle is what is referred here, the difference being that the neos are the heroes and that after everything that happened in the movie, iron man actually didn't die and captain america came back his normal age and not like a complete dinosaur :)
you felt your heart shrink in your chest, the way yuta’s laugh echoed so blissfully through the room in such an excited and careless way making you want to hit yourself in the head for being so heartless.
“if you’re gonna do it, do it later. let him enjoy his party for a little longer”
johnny’s words were whispered into your ear, the tone they were spoken on so low you almost couldn’t catch them. you could sense how much he was judging you just by his voice, the way his expression was formed into a passive-aggressive unbothered one proving he most definitely didn’t approve of your actions — but then again, neither did you, and for a second you considered forgetting all of it, considered dropping the whole matter and staying in a relationship with the man who made you happier than anyone ever could; but then you remembered the pain that had been consuming your heart for the past few months, how you felt so helpless back then knowing you could do nothing to help or attempt to protect your lover, the anguish and frustration that took over you so harshly, all of that being why you had to keep going with this. you knew yuta wouldn’t ever look you in the eye again after this, knew he wouldn’t ever forgive you, and for a mere second where the alcohol you had been sipping on seemed to finally work and make your thoughts nothing more than an incoherent slumber, you were okay with never seeing nakamoto yuta again.
johnny and taeyong were the only ones that knew what you were planning to do — taeyong because he caught you crying once and, being the nation’s savior that he was, just had to go check on you, ending up being able to force you to speak in the middle of your angrily salty tears; johnny, on the other hand, knew it because taeyong, for some reason, panicked when he realized what you were about to do and just told him, hoping his, quite literally, god-like ability with words would stop you from doing something as stupid as breaking up with the love of your life. moral of the story, despite all their best efforts, they didn’t have success in their little mission, now reaching a helpless point where they just asked you to do it calmly, to not send yuta into some psychotic state that would make him go insane and do something utterly stupid.
contrary to what johnny and taeyong probably thought though, you did feel bad about leaving your lover in such a drastic way. it wasn’t like anything had been building up to it, if anything, in the past few months you had been in a fairly good phase of your relationship, the only thing stopping it from being perfect, at least from your point of you, being the crippling anxiety that filled your every thought. your mind was always full of all the “what ifs?”. what if yuta hadn’t survived; what if he didn’t get so lucky again and didn’t survive the next time; what if he was the one to leave you, would that hurt more as opposed to you being the one to make that decision? probably, and that was the only selfish reason you needed to keep going with your plan like you wanted to, feeling like a completely heartless maniac for preparing the way you would break your lover’s heart just so he couldn’t break yours later on, although, truth be told, you knew yuta wouldn’t be the only one who would end this night completely shattered if the way you wanted to cry so desperately just thinking about it was anything to go by.
you raised your wine cup to your lips again, letting the warm liquid run down your throat, hoping that maybe the temperature of it would make it sting a little less. it didn’t, in fact, it only made everything worse — either that, or the way both taeyong and johnny were now looking at you from across the room just affected you more than you imagined it would, yuta sitting a few feet away from them with mark, both him and the younger boy laughing excitedly as they tried to raise johnny’s hammer from the table, attempting to do it with the help of not only the mechanic hand from one of yuta’s suits but also with webs forms mark’s own superhero costume, none having success, but neither seeming to care, seeming too happy for someone who had just failed a task. you almost felt threatened if you were being honest, the way their gazes focused on you so intensely combined with how taeyong gripped his shield in such a way it looked like he was ready to throw it at someone any second making you hug yourself out of unreasonable fear. you knew they wouldn’t hurt you, they liked and cared for you too much to do that; but at the same time, you knew that yuta was like a brother to both heroes, the bond the three of them had being one you could never share with either of them, so for a second your fogged mind did wondered if they were willing to go as far as cautioning you with cautious sentences, or even doing anything worse than just throwing menacing words your way, just to stop you from hurting their friend. your thoughts were short-lived, however, the arms that wrapped around your waist making your heart stop out of pure panic, a feeling much different from the butterflies you were used to.
“why are you all alone in a corner? you should come hang out with us, i’m sure you’d be able to pick up johnny’s stupid god of thunder hammer”
yuta’s words, and the logic behind them, stung a bit too much taking into account what you planned to do, his sweet and loving tone all of a sudden hurting you as if it was a group of a hundred blades coursing through your whole torso. you laughed shallowly, lowering your head and faking a smile, trying to come up with some sort of excuse so you wouldn’t have to be with yuta, his mere presence now causing you immense pain.
“i’m not really feeling it, i’m sorry” was the only thing you could muster enough courage to say out loud, even that making you want to sob into the void.
“do you wanna leave? we can go back home if you’re not feeling well” yuta continued, walking to stand in front of you, hands carefully touching your arms as he lowered his head to the level of yours, his beautiful eyes shining with pure worry.
“i just have a headache, it’s fine. i think i’ll just go wash my face, maybe that’ll make me feel better”
that was a complete lie, but somehow, yuta believed it, letting you leave, but not before offering to go with you, to which you very obviously declined, your little escaped to a completely empty floor of the building being made exactly because you couldn’t handle being with, or even staring at, him in the moment.
weirdly enough, and in a harsh contrast to all your past experiences, the darkness and loneliness you felt once far away from everyone was more comforting than it should. you felt empty, void of any emotions, and for once in your life, that seemed like an enjoyable feeling. it was what you would designate the calm before the storm, that thought making you wish you were even half as brave as yuta just so you could feel like you were able to fight through the pain that surrounded you, just so you could feel like you didn’t need to leave him and could stop putting the false idea into your brain that a life without yuta would be easier; you knew it wouldn’t, at least not for now, but maybe in a few months span or in a few years or decades, it would all feel better, and somehow that made up faith was reassuring, somehow making up fake scenarios in your mind brought you more solace than fighting through the pain for someone you knew was worth it.
“is everything okay? you seem weird” was the first thing yuta asked you once you were in the safety of your home, both of you walking to your shared bedroom side by side. as you went up the stairs, you stayed in silence, finally letting a single tear escape your tired eyes as you prepared yourself for the upcoming minutes. yuta, in his state of veritable oblivion, also didn’t speak, misjudging the situation and assuming you were just searching for the right words to open up to him about your feelings, which, in a way, you were, just in a very distorted manner of what he waited for.
“i don’t know if i can do this anymore” you whispered once behind the closed door of your bedroom, the photos spread around it that once gave you so much happiness now bringing you nothing but sorrow.
your voice was low, too low for yuta to hear and, for that reason, he needed to ask you to repeat again, which you did, the second time even more uncertain than the first.
“what?” was the only thing he managed to mumble, eyes already filled with fear as he stared at you, your form so retracted to itself you didn’t even dare to look back at him, too worried it would make it all hurt even more. “what are you talking about?” yuta continued when no response came, starting to panic just like johnny and taeyong said he would.
yuta wasn’t dumb. just judging by the way you spoke he already knew what you meant, but still, he couldn’t accept it; he couldn’t accept that you, the woman he loved the most in the world, the only one he had actually truly loved, the one who always stood by his side when it got too hard and gave him the exact reassuring words he needed to keep going, even if they were just a small “i love you”, was shattering his heart so easily right before his eyes. yuta couldn’t accept it, couldn’t take the pain of realizing that the only person he thought would never leave him was about to do exactly that.
“please, please my love, you can’t- we can work through this, i don’t know what you’re feeling right now, but please, let us work through it. we can do it, right? we have done it so many times before, i’m sure we can do it again” yuta begged, walking to you and wrapping his arms around your torso, the warmth of both your bodies together being the only thing that gave any sort of peace to either of you at that moment, the feeling that there was still a chance being left behind wasn’t the only option standing.
“i can’t, yuta. i’m sorry” you sniffled, a sob leaving your lips right after as you felt his arms envelop you tighter, that being his way of silently saying he wasn’t gonna let you go that easily.
“you can, i know you can. just tell me what’s going on, please”
yuta kept on rambling, his begging words resonating through the room as he still held you, making you both cry to the point you felt exhausted, to the point neither of you could even stand up anymore and just fell to your knees, his arms still around you as strong as before.
“please, please, please” he continued, looking at you desperately, brown eyes now tinged red as he begged for your mercy. yuta’s plush lips pressed to your forehead, more whispered pleadings coming from him being said as he still pressed his lips to your skin, then moving them to your cheeks, kissing both of them hopelessly, stopping right above your mouth.
“just give me one more chance, please” yuta said at last, the interior of his mouth starting to feel as dry as a desert due to the fear intruding his mind.
you were tired, totally exhausted even. you wanted it all to stop, you wanted to stop time and just never make it continue again, just so you could stay in that limbo state and avoid anything else that could have happened after that moment, stay away from all the pain you could sense was creeping up your body, ready to inhale all of you in an overwhelming gulf any minute.
“i promise i’ll be good, i’ll make up for everything, just don’t leave, please” yuta’s words kept going after you gave him no reply, his eyes falling shut as his forehead leaned against yours, waiting for the mercy he hoped you would show him.
another sob raised up your throat, an empty one that wasn’t followed by any burning tears. your whole world was collapsing right in front of you, all because you felt too scared to go on, and for a situation you thought would bring you some sort of twisted relief, you were currently feeling more hopeless than you ever had in your whole life.
“i don’t know what to do” you admitted in the middle of it all, your voice stopping yuta’s ongoing thread of desperate promises, the way it sounded so raspy making him get worried. as if i deserve that coming from him, you thought.
“stay here, stay with me. we’ll just forget this ever happened and work through it. doesn’t that sound okay?”
you were wrecked, heart beating so fast but at the same time giving you the sensation it had sank into a deep hole, no longer keeping you alive. you felt so beaten you simply couldn’t recognize any emotion coursing through your body, which was why, in a coward act led by the small bit of dignity that still managed to bubble inside you after what you had done, you allowed your head to fall into yuta’s shoulder, crying and sniffling into his shirt without professing any words, simply because you were scared to talk in the moment.
“i’m so sorry. i’m sorry i never noticed your pain”
more tears ran down your face, all sinking and dampening yuta’s clothes, as burning guilt crawled up your body. why was he apologizing when he had nothing to be sorry for? he wasn’t the one to blame if you kept it all to yourself and didn’t open up to him, and yet yuta, your loving, caring, and gentle yuta was the only one brave enough to say it out loud, even if his role wasn’t to do so.
“it- it wasn’t your fault” you mumbled lowly as you looked up, your eyes starting to sting with more salty tears as you looked at yuta, his expression seeming to display the exact emotions you felt, the exact sadness and sorrow.
“it was. i didn’t notice what was going on right in front of me, and i’m sorry. i promise i’ll do better in the future” he replied right away, forehead pressing into yours once again before his lips ghosted on top of your own, delicately pecking you in a way that felt all too intimate, a sudden warm igniting inside you making a spark of comfort slowly spread within your body.
it all seemed familiar, the way yuta’s lips touched yours so softly, his hands going to hold yours in between his fingers in a way that made you feel like a porcelain doll he didn’t want to risk breaking. as guilty as it made you feel, you could sense the love he was trying to put into his actions, trying to show you he wanted you around because you did deserve all of it and more.
your whole world felt like it was put into slow motion, a weird sense of serenity shyly spreading through the room and connection you and yuta as you both got up and laid down on the bed, his body hovering yours as he gently cupped your warm cheeks, bringing you closer and closer until you almost felt like one with him, both your clothes still creating a thin barrier neither of you wanted there.
everything that yuta did after that was buried in a velvety gentleness, all his actions calculated as he undressed not only himself but you, spreading kisses over the slightly dried out traces of tears on your face as he continued to pull you impossibly closer to him, looking into your eyes tenderly as he pushed his sex into yours, both of you sighing blissfully as your lips connected in another slow kiss, neither of you fighting for dominance as it was the norm for you most of the time; instead, you both just enjoyed the moment, taking in as much of each other as you could, the frightening feeling of not knowing what future awaited you or your relationship making you two want to cherish that exact instant as much as possible.
yuta’s hips rocked into yours at an almost reluctant pace, as if waiting for you to ask him to stop any moment — not that you were planning to do so any time soon. it felt intimate nevertheless, how time finally seemed to stop once your eyes were locked into one another, any hidden emotion shown on full display only for the other to see. you wanted to scream your love for yuta, even if that was the last time, you wanted to do it as loud as you could, just to make sure he would never doubt it; the moment was too peaceful for you to want to ruin it though, not wanting to risk losing the exact peace you had been craving for such a long time, so you just pressed your lips into yuta’s, hoping he would get the message, hoping he would understand you never wanted to hurt him, even if that was exactly what you did in the end.
the room felt hot, temperature rising as you felt a recognizable warmness bubble up in your core, your hips twitching and bucking up needily, the idea being understood by yuta as he moved his head away from yours, looking down and positioning his thumb right above your core, moving it in sweet circles over the sensitive nub placed there, soft moans leaving you as your high started to build faster. another peck was pressed into your mouth, the touch muffling both of yours and yuta’s pleasure-filled sounds as your reached your climaxes in almost a perfect synch, staying connected as pleasure flooded both your bodies, your forms trembling close to one another in pure bliss.
for the first time in that night, you felt happy, a sunny, bubbly feeling that scattered through your whole being unexpectedly by the thought that this wasn’t the end, that the way yuta looked down at yuta with such love was a view you would see again, that his words from minutes ago were all true and you could fight through it together. suddenly, you didn’t feel hopeless, the thought that you weren’t going to be left behind by the person you loved making you and yuta smile at each other reassuringly, both hoping you weren’t wrong for assuming you wouldn’t be abandoned without as much as a warning from the other.
What did you have to hurt me for? This is so good, my heart stung! Honestly love your style, the entire thing was such a pleasure to read and you’re great at writing emotions! Also, there’s nothing better than angst of the relationship between a superhero and his civil lover, thank you so much for writing about it. This vulnerable Yuta has opened a door in my head I’ve never considered before. I’ve always been team cocky playboy, but this... it just makes so much sense! Amazing!
Though she may seem confident, Yeji cannot call you sweetheart in a tone louder than whisper. She’s embarrassed by the word’s meaning alone, though she considers it perfect for you. In public she’ll limit herself to your first name. Sure, calling your loved one by a pet name isn’t that much of a big deal in the modern times, but that’s easier said than done. Only when Yeji’s sure you’re alone, will she put the right amount of certainty into her voice.
LIA
Jisoo doesn’t limit herself to just one pet name, she has a whole variety waiting to be thrown at you. The most preferred one being pumpkin (there’s a whole backstory to it), it’s a wonder she can say it with a straight face in front of your entire friend group. There are also the regular ones, like baby, babe, sweetheart. Sometimes, when feeling especially demonic, she may vandalize your first name, creating a super “adorable” shortened version of it, but again, she must be in the right (evil) mood.
RYUJIN
Without a doubt, babe type of girl. And she isn’t embarrassed by it, not one bit! It rolls off her tongue way too easily. So much that a sentence directed at you doesn’t feel completed without it. Even in a context that speaks against any usage of pet names. Ryujin’s also a huge teaser, never once missing a chance at driving you a little bit crazier with her low voice when saying babe. Add a visual of her lying down with half-closed eyes for good measure.
CHAERYEONG
With Chaeryeong you can never be sure whether she’s calling you honey jokingly or romantically. There are these small things you can look for before judging, but still, she can easily make a 180° once called out. It’s safer to act dumb and make no comments regarding the pet name. If you prove yourself weak for the word, Chaeryeong will never let you live it down, she’ll be so dedicated to abusing the newfound power.
YUNA
Baby, baby, baby - you’d think Yuna’s dictionary is very limited, since she can’t find other (maybe better?) pet names. Doesn’t matter whether you’re older, taller, just generally bigger in some way, you’re still Yuna’s baby. When it comes to audience, she may feel a little hesitant and avoid addressing you with any type of name, your regular one included. First names are for arguing, not normal conversations. Also, as I said before, you’re still her baby.
