the randomness of me

Kat~21+~ne/ne/nes or they/them~ agender polysexual~Pisces

[comicpolls]

Favourite Platonic Duo: Round One Match Thirty-Four of Sixty-Four

Jason Todd (Red Hood/Robin) & Roy Harper (Arsenal/Red Arrow/Speedy)

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat/Ariel/Sprite) & Emma Frost

Remaining time: 16 hours 10 minutes

[comicpolls]

Favourite Platonic Duo: Round One Match Eight of Sixty-Four

Kamala Khan (Ms. Marvel) & Nakia Bahadir

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) & Bruce Wayne (Batman)

Voting ended on8h

[comicpolls]

Favourite Platonic Duo: Round One Match Sixty of Sixty-Four

Dick Grayson (Nightwing/Robin) & Jason Todd (Red Hood/Robin)

Sam Wilson (Captain America/Falcon) & Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

Remaining time: 2 days 1 hour

[comicpolls]

Favourite Platonic Duo: Round One Match Sixty-Four of Sixty-Four

Matt Murdock (Daredevil) & Peter Parker (Spider-Man)

Roy Harper (Arsenal/Red Arrow/Speedy) & Oliver Queen (Green Arrow)

Remaining time: 2 days 1 hour

[comicpolls]

Favourite Disabled Character: Round Two Match Seven of Sixteen

Maya Lopez (Echo/Ronin/Phoenix) - deaf

Diana of the Wild Isle (Abs. Wonder Woman) - right arm amputee

Remaining time: 2 days 23 hours

[comicpolls]

Ultimate Queer Character: Round One Match Fourteen of Thirty-Two

Loki

Harley Quinn

Remaining time: 4 days 2 hours

[comicpolls]

Ultimate Queer Character: Round One Match Thirty of Thirty-Two

John Constantine

Alan Scott (Green Lantern)

Remaining time: 4 days 3 hours

[sndwave]

the mythbusters once tested "herding cats" and at one point they brought in a proper trained herding dog and the poor dogs face when the first cat responds to his herding with swipes and aggression is to look at her human and go 😰 the sheep is broken?? what do i do boss??

[phantomrose96]

Coworker (60) was cursing under his breath to himself trying to get something to work on his computer. Other coworker (25) asked, "Are you winning son?" which went unanswered for quite a while, until finally coworker (60) very quietly went "..........'son'?"

[incorrectbatfam]

Alfred: And is this your same-sex partner?

Tim: Alfred, this is Bernard. He's my roommate.

Alfred: Yes, that's what we called them back in the day.

[alien-slushie]

DP Idea/Prompt

Casper High started replacing "God" with "Phantom". It started because a teacher started screeching at them for "Taking the Lord's name in Vain" whenever they would say "Oh My God" or "Goddammit" or something similar, so instead they would say "Phantomdammit" or "Oh My Phantom". It kinda started as a joke, but as time went on it became second nature.

Heres the thing though: a lot of Spiritual Entities get their power through belief. By invoking Phantom's name in a way thats synonymous with a God's, Casper High inadvertently turned Phantom into a God/God like being.

So yeah, Danny is a God now, he low key hates it, and he blames Dash. Mostly out of spite.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Alfred: Family emergency meeting! Family emergency meeting in the main sitting room! NOW!

Bruce, running out of the shower: What's going on?

Tim, half-dressed in a wizard costume: I don't know!

Dick covered in flour and tomato sauce: I wasn't trying to cook a pizza in my room!

Jason wearing a bear onesie: No one believes your lies, Dick! But it has to be bad if Alfred called all of us and not just one to yell at!

Damain running by in a prince charming outfit: Reinforcements are on the way, Alfred! Hold the line!

Cass sprinting by with snakes wrap around her entire body: HOLD THE LINE!

Steph, in a star suit that lights up to the beat of her favorite rock song: Bruce, do you know what is going on!?

Bruce: Apparently, I don't know what's going on at any given point in this manor. Why are you all....dressed like that?

Dick panicked: Not to make illegal pizzas in our rooms after Alfred banned us from cooking! Ha ha ha!

Bruce: Right. The rest of you?

Tim: Wizards are cool

Jason: I was taking a nap

Steph: I'm going dancing tonight.

Bruce: None of those answers justified your appearances but we don't have time. Alfred needs us!

Everyone in the sitting room: What's the emergency?!

Alfred: That came back to our doorstep.

Baby Danny Fenton in a basket: *Happy Babbling*

Alfred: It speaks evil.

Bruce: What? Alfred not this again. It's not a evil spirit its just a baby!

Cass: What do you mean, Bruce? Alfred wouldn't let Damian or me get close to the baby.

Alfred: That thing has been attempting to enter the Wayne household for twenty years! It always appears in a basket, trying to play with the strings of employees' hearts to bring it in. It's the same face, the same basket, the same intelligent eyes following every sentence! Its not a human baby! Its A thing of evil!

Damian: I forgot you're from the parts of England that fear the Fae

Alfred: Don't call their name, boy! I always leave it outside, but today someone brought it in. It was here in the sitting room! It can't come into the manor without someone helping it!

Bruce: Because its a baby....

Alfred: Who did this!?

Duke walking with a warm bottle of milk: Oh you guys are all here. Perfect! I found this little guy outside-

Alfred pointing at him: TRAITOR!

Bruce: Alfred please....have you taken your medication?

Tim: Bruce wait, the baby, it's eyes are glowing.

Duke: The baby is a boy Tim.

Tim: Right sorry. His eyes are glowing.

Alfred: It's bonded to the land! We're DOOM!

Dick: Alfred, please calm down. How about a snack? Would some pizza make you feel better?

Jason: Um, the baby is floating.

Steph: They do that sometimes.

Damain nodding: Martians' infants levitate out of their cribs. It's possible for infants.

Bruce: Alfred put down that fire poker.

Alfred: I will sent it back to hell!

Duke: Woah woah! Don't you come near my baby!

Tim: Alfred, don't make me tackle you. Please. I know you will hurt me. I want to avoid that.

Alfred: Out of my way lads. I must do this.

Bruce: EVERYONE ATTACK ALFRED

Dick: aghhhhh we're going to die!

Jason: The baby just went through the ceiling. Anyone else keeping a eye on him? Anyone?

The rest of Waynes in a bar brawl with Alfred: Agggggggggghhhhhhhh

Jason: I guess not. I'm going to go look for the none human baby.

[theyaregayyourhonor]

Good parents Jack and Maddie crying as their baby boy goes off to college. They've turned off the portal and are in the process of correcting their initial findings so everyone in town tries to avoid them otherwise you will be subjected to the new findings which mark ecto entities as sapient and therefore deserving of rights or gushing about how Danny is off to college since his small business pays so well. He did so well he rejected the scholarships from Gotham University because he said it would be better going to someone who needs it and they did such a good job raising him because look at how successful and generous he is!

The business in question is more of a cheat since being king of the infinite Realms means he is fluent in any language to exist. Safe, dead, or extinct the status of a language doesn't matter to him. With Technus's help he sets up and online portal where people can submit pictures or copies of stuff for him to translate at a premium price. He refuses to take any money from the fruit loop and the money he learns will go towards his clone's schooling when she gets to that point. Right now she is using it for her travels and sending them postcards.

People who claim his translations as their own get black listed with a huge fee coming out of their bank account for the breach of contract. He is trying to keep his business on the down low so those breakthroughs that get on the news are not what he is looking for. His main demographic is rich snobs with private art collections. What Danny doesn't know is that his main customers are the Justice League.

There are some clues but he kinda ignores them. Like when a document submitted is a summoning ritual he sends back a partial translation since the summoning is not good (there are worst beings they could summon but it will still be a hassle) however revealing knowledge of the banishment is harmless.

Gotham cultists hate him because they know he can translate the whole document/book but all of their attempts to trace the sage of tongues (trying to give invisobill kinda vibes) they find a dead end. They try submitting from different computers, locations, routers, anything, but just end up giving Danny more money lol

The Justice League is almost in tears because the jusyice league dark could not agree on the translation of the banishment ritual and everything they tried before had failed.

His favorite translations are the stories that give alien vibes. They talk about certain structures (he thinks it might be structures) as if they are common knowledge. Unknown to him those are Kryptonian fairy tales that Lois submitted. She didn't want to give Jon a funny accent so Clark can read them in Kryptonian while she does the English.

Duke having a hard time with an assignment, sends an inquiry asking if he offers homework help (he wouldn't be using it for career advancement which is against the terms of service BUT he would be claiming it for points so he asked) and that is how Tim finds out about this sketchy website that can translate anything. Danny feels the sincerity and sleep deprivation in the inquiry so he replies back "I admire your courage and will do you a solid but only if your promise to sleep a minimum of 8 hours. I'll know if you don't and snitch so go to sleep 😴" The translation is attached and already in the format his teacher requested.

Steph: How is he gonna know?

Duke: Idk but he is a life saver!

Tim: Duke, did you just sell your soul for a homework assignment?

Duke: Let me sleep and then we'll see what happens 🥱

Tim is driven crazy because he needs to know who is behind the website. And also because Constantine was kinda in the area and said no. Duke has his soul even if he doesn't sleep, lucky bugger.

Tim feels like the world is conspiring against him when it sends the cutest distraction in one his gen ed courses. He will date the cute guy AND solve this mystery out of spite.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bruce: I try to be supportive but Tim's hobbies are.....questionable

Clark: What do you mean?

Bruce: As you know, Tim has always had an... appreciation for heroes. Especially young heros like Robin and Phantom.

Clark: Yes, he's a big fan even when he was Robin.

Bruce: Exactly. And, as you know, some fans are in what they call "fandom". Tim is active in this community. He is a fanfiction writer.

Clark: a writer? That's not bad as I thought it was going to be when you called me over.

Bruce: Look at the laptop on the table. That's Tim's most popular fanfiction.

Clark:

Bruce crying: How can I support this?

Clark: Bruce, burn this laptop and bury the ashes on the moon.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: Mom! Dad! W-what are you doing here?

Maddie: Your father and I knew that you were disappointed to miss out on the family reunion because of your husband's surgery, so we decided to skip it this year and come give you some support in caring for him!

Jack: As well as giving you a break. You must be under so much stress taking care of him and the kids!

Danny, having been lying about his marriage for the past two years to get out of family obligations: Wow... that's so sweet of you.

Maddie: I'm so excited to meet everyone! When you said you were moving to a new Earth, I knew communication through the Ghost Zone was going to be rough, but only being able to connect audio calls once every four months was much harder to endure than I thought it would be.

Jack: Not to mention traveling here. We had to do so many pit stops to fix up the Spectator Speeder and let me tell you, some of those floating rocks were hard to land on. Sometimes makes me wish we had your ghosts powers.

Danny: Yeah....you both went through so much effort. To vist me. In a different dimension.

Maddie: We three! Jazz is here too.

Danny: *gulps* The whole family is here.

Jack: Oh, don't make that face. The Fenton Reunion happens every four years. We'll see your aunts, uncles, and cousins next time. You're much more important to us, so no need for guilt.

Danny: I- right. Of course. Um, have you guys eaten? I can treat us to some dinner before we go back to my place. My, um, husband is at a doctor's appointment with my eldest while I did some work. I'm going on emergency family leave but I had to fill out the paperwork at the office today. Yup yup, thats why I'm here. At my workplace.

Maddie: You alright sweetie? You're sweating a lot.

Danny: I'm fine!

Jack: You work here? This office building is so nice. What does Wayne Enterprise do? I know you have a management position but I never really understood what department exactly.

Danny, who works in the mail room: Um, Wayne Enterprise does a little of everything. I'm in... communications.

Jack: But what exactly does communications do-

Danny: Excuse me for a bit. I have to let my husband know I'm going to be a little late.

Maddie: Oh! Don't tell the kids we're here. We want it to be a suprise. We brought gifts for all of them! Jazz is actually wrapping them up in the Speeder now!

Danny: Ha ha ha ha of course! Excuse me! *walking away pretending to be tapping a contact on his phone* shit shit shit. What do I do???

Damian appearing from the shadows: You told falsehoods.

Danny: Agh!

Damian: ....

Danny: Mr. Wayne Al Ghul! I-ugh- hello! I mean, good afternoon, sir. I ugh-

Damian: Silence

Danny: Yes sir.

Damian: I heard everything, and while I normally find lies distasteful, I find your parents endearing. It could benefit my family. I shall give you aid in your facade.

Danny: What?

Damain: My father recently had surgery on his right hip- a accident on our extreme skiing trip- and refuses to listen to our family doctor. He will not get the proper bed rest he's been ordered, but he would if you acted like his very upset husband with visting in-laws.

Danny: I- Mr. Wayne would never agree to that.

Damian: You seem to believe Father has a choice.

Danny: I-

Damian: I messaged Richard about the plan. He's gathering my siblings' support as we speak. When you arrive after dinner with your family, Father will have no time to deny anything. We shall trap him in social expectations. By the way, you are Timothy's safe queer adult who was there for him in the early years of his self-discovery journey and now he wants to help you. Its how we guilt trip father.

Danny: I can't lie to Bruce Wayne like that!

Damian: It's too late. Timothy already made a shirt of your face with the words "My Gay Yoda" on it. Your path has been chosen.

Danny: What-

Jack: Danny? Who's this?

Damian holding out his arms for a hug: Grandfather, I am Damian, Father's and Dad's youngest.

Jack: Damian! Its so nice to met you. Call me Gran-papa! *crushes him in a bear hug*

Damian in the most monotone voice ever: Gran-papa, I can not feel my arms.

Maddie: Aren't you just the cutest! Danny used to say the same thing at your age whenever his dad hugged him. I'm your Gran-mama, by the way! JAZZ COME MEET THE BABY!

Danny in a horrified whisper: Did my boss trap me in my own web of lies?

[dotjade]

put those awesome boobs away dude now isn't the time

[helila]

[notchie]

I'M GOING TO DO THIS TO MY BOOBS AS THEY GROW IN TO APPEAL TO THE MINECRAFT PORN CROWD

[cassettetapecryptid]

@official-boob-posts