This past weekend I had a long long cry over you, Bro. I had to stop fronting like everything is ok with me. I broke down, spent three days just having what I call "Micro Burst" aka little breakdown moments. I miss you so much. You were taken away from me WAY too soon. I know I'm being selfish but you are my little brother, truly my Day One Brother. I had to reach out to a select few "family" that I know are dealing with the lost of a Loved One and a therapist. They let me know it's ok to cry, it just take time to get over the lost of you and let anyone tell me different, that they are there for me and it's ok to talk to you. I don't expect you to answer back. I could call or text them any time of day or night. I really appreciate their kind words and the use of their shoulders. I woke up the next morning feel like a heavy weight was taken off my chest. The world is still not as bright as it was when you were here but I still see you all around me. I was cleaning your old room and I can across a couple letters that I wrote you. As I was reading the first one, a tear ran down my cheek, then smile and deep belly laugh came out. I couldn't believe you kept a letter I wrote when I was in the Army (1990 Desert Storm/Desert Shield) where I was chastising you over your grades and stop being girl crazy. It made me think about the good times had together. You wrote back that you scared something was going to happen to me. I miss you, Colie. Colie, I'm ok now. I got a handle on this now. Thank you....SYJ EN JJ KJA https://www.instagram.com/p/CKATKMNHWPYQSxng-ExtGUJPxKiD4rCEWo0Vdw0/?igshid=14so7443atlow
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