“Can I ask you a question?” Amelia found herself asking the other woman, fidgeting with her fingers as she flashed her a warm smile.
@impossible-gal
“Of course.” Clara gave her a reassuring smile of her own. “Ask me anything. Go on then.”
Amy found herself somewhat blushing from her as of yet unspoken question, finding it somewhat embarrassing, yet she wanted to know. “Have you ever kicked someone in the balls?” She asked, “it’s just tha’ I used to do it all the time, but a friend of mine said she’d never done it. Basically I just want reassurance that other people have also done it and I’m not just an incredibly mean person.” she confessed, letting a small laugh escape her lips.
She couldn’t help laughing. “Okay, from how nervous you looked, I thought it was going to be something really bad or awkward.” She moved one hand through her dark hair and thought. “Yeah, back in university. He deserved it, he was a total creep. Slapped me on the arse at a party and told me I looked shag-able. So I turned around and kicked him. Really pressed the heel of my boot in too.”
Amy giggled back in return, relaxing a little. “Isn’t it really awkward?” She asked, still smiling. “Sounds like he deserved it, good on ya. I hope for his sake that they still worked afterwards, though I imagine he won’t be harassing anyone else anytime soon.” She said, pausing before adding, “And then there’s me who once kicked a boy in the balls because he took a bite of my sandwich without my permission. Says a lot about us, eh?”
“That we’re a couple of strong, independent women who stand up for ourselves?” she suggested. “What I’m curious about is what brought on that question. Did you kick someone recently or something?”
“Maybe..” She replied, somewhat sheepishly. “Lets just say that being drunk at a party whilst being told ‘I have balls of steel’ by some twenty year old moron is not the best combination.” She continued, the words almost not wanting to come out due to the embarrassment, “lets just say we ended the night with him tied to a bed with very bruised babymakers and me with the knowledge that they were in fact NOT made of iron.” She giggled, adding on, “I swear I felt one of ‘em pop.” But hey, you shouldn’t brag about things that aren’t true, she thought to herself.
Clara choked on her coffee with laughter. “Oh my god, Amy! You are so bad! So what, he thought he was going to get lucky with you and then you crushed his junk?”
Amy’s face was turning a deep shade of crimson, yet still she found herself giggling, “When you put it like that it makes me sound very bad,” she admitted, “but I’m sure he enjoyed the brief moments of me holding them in my hands. Well y’know, before I started squeezing the life out of them,” She said, continuing to giggle. “But c’mon, any bloke that goes around bragging about the strength of his junk is just begging to have his nuts flattened.” She said, raising an eyebrow. “Haven’t you ever squeezed a guy’s balls before?” She asked, very glad that they were alone, dreading to think of the judgement she’d receive were strangers to overhear the conversation.
She was laughing too hard at the mental image she had of Amy to answer right away. “Not really. Touched, sure, but most guys wanted me to be gentle.” She shrugged. “You make it sound like you go around squeezing them,” she laughed.
“Maybe I do,” She answered back, giving a mock ‘sensual’ tone to her voice, “although it does sort of come with being a kissogram.” She continued, finding herself thinking about her various customers, “but I only ever crush the balls of the rude ones. I happen to be somewhat of an angel with the true gentlemen.” She teased.
“And you wonder why men are afraid of us. It might be because I’m a figurative ball-buster, and you’re a literal one.”
Amy pondered upon the statement for a moment, giving it some thought. “well,” she began, “that’s not a lie, no.” she said, still giggling slightly. “you say that as if it’s a bad thing.” she continued, pouting somewhat.
Clara shrugged. “I guess it depends. If we’re trying to scare men off it’s not a bad thing. But when we’re trying to get dates it can be.”
Amy bit her lip in thought, finding that she didn’t enjoy not having any comebacks, realizing that Clara was genuinely right. Eventually she shrugged, saying “Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll just happen to have a pain fetish..?”
She laughed and nodded. “Okay, yeah. You might get lucky like that. What about me then, the figurative ball-buster? How do I get lucky?”
“...By not letting them know that you’re a figurative ballbuster until they’ve put a ring on it?” She joked. “Or y’know, say ‘at least you’re not dating my friend Amy’.”
