Poppies In October

Welcome to my mind.

[poppies--in--october]

the interrogation room

She sat on the metal chair and stared at the uniformed men in front of her. She opened her mouth to speak, but her thoughts formed a noose around her neck. She clawed and scratched at her throat, freeing nothing but blood. Each question only suffocated her more. What was she was wearing that night? How much had she had to drink? Could she walk through the story again in more detail? She couldn't. Because she had spent so long under the silence of oppression, that she had forgotten what her own voice sounded like.

[poppies--in--october]

What I Became

You treated me like nothing.

So nothing is what I became.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

Women who are “too emotional” are deemed as crazy by weak men.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

Announcement!

Hi everyone!

I am so excited to announce that I will be publishing my very own poetry book, working title “Skin” on June 20, 2019 with New Degree Press!

You can follow my Instagram @cbmancuso for book updates! Thank you all for your love in support and can’t wait to continue blogging with you!

[poppies--in--october]

Who Am I?

I cannot define myself without you.

Once you left I desperately searched for my sense of self,

but I came up with nothing but eternal emptiness.

A zombie with a heartbeat.

Tell me who I am.

Because I will be whoever you want me to be.

I exist for your acceptance.

I hate you.

I love you.

I am nothing without you.

My life is not my own.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

No More Exceptions

You were the perfect example of the type of man I should never have let myself love.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

Which Do I Choose?

I am stuck between moving on and trying not to let go.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

Reflections

When I looked in the mirror,

it was easy to see why he didn’t love me.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

“Friends”

Time and time again I pretend we can be friends.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

A Secret Never Stays A Secret

If you tell one person something,

know that you are telling the world.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

Will I Ever Stop Falling?

I stopped loving you years ago.

But I never stopped being in love with you.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

What I Became

You treated me like nothing.

So nothing is what I became.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

The Paradox of Your Love

It’s a mystery to me,

how you make existing feel like living,

and living feel like dying.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

If Only

I loved you despite everything.

But it would have been easier if everything had destroyed me instead.

-c.m.

[poppies--in--october]

Is It Too Much To Ask?

I want to be with someone who reminds me that my mind is more important than my body.

-c.m.

P.s- sorry for the inactivity. I am currently traveling Latin America and have limited access to wifi. Will be back soon!

[poppies--in--october]

Illusions

I thought I saw you today.                                               

Even though I knew it couldn’t have been you.           

But my heart still skipped a beat,                                   

and the butterflies soared in my stomach,                   

shaking off the dust that had settled on their wings since the time of our last encounter.                             

But that cherished feeling passed as quickly as it came.                                   

For reality knows no kindness,                                       

making me remember what I was trying to forget.       

Leaving was your decision,                                             

but my mind isn’t ready to accept that yet. 

So it’s keeping you alive the only way it knows how. 

Your image so ingrained that I can place it perfectly on the faces of strangers.   

But time will go on,                                                           

and eventually I will start to see the faces of those I do not know,                   

instead of the all too familiar face of the one that let me go.

-c.m.

For my grandfather. RIP Papa Bob. May your memory live on through writing.

[poppies--in--october]

Running Scared

I was always so scared that if I told you how much I loved you,

you would run away.

-c.m.