z i r e a e l

[portendere]

            an extremely private and selective headcanon based CIRILLA RIANNON of the witcher series ( game / novel / faint tv show ) . writer is extremely critical of source material and will be adapting from all sources , primarily headcanons , for the interpretation of cirilla as a muse . do not follow or interact with me if you are under the age of eighteen as the writer is well over the age of twenty-one .          written by ollie - she / her     GUIDELINES   /          all pages are currently under construction and will be added as they are finished .

[portendere]

               @outbodies

      winds howled with the prediction of rain , clouds loomed in the distance . trees whispered , leaves crackling louder and louder as if to speak over the fire in front of them . roach huffs in the distance -- the sound of him dismounting comes next . cloth moves carefully over silver blade . “ so ? ” she questions , not looking up from her work . “ did they answer your questions or take one look at your face and run ? ”

[crowholtz]

ciri.

[portendere]

𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

      TIRED . whatever it is , you don't want it anymore . you want to lay down with the pain , you want the pain to leave you quietly as you sleep . as you rest . fighting is hard , giving up is hard too . you feel like you can't do either . you don't know what you need , even this question feels overwhelming . the word need scares you , it ties you down . you crave liberty from necessity .

tagged by : @misroberts​ tagging : if you wanna do it , steal it .

[portendere]

         “   i had dream about back when i was younger   .   when you were helping me learn to control my chaos   .   ”   tired words   ,   hands wiping at face   .   “   i seem to be doing that a lot recently   ,   thinking of before   . 

   memories were all her dreams consisted of now   ,   perhaps it was good she wasn’t surround by the sharpness of the cold for the moment   .   she’s like to think it was part yennifer’s doing and part geralt’s   .   the stability of the two she believed in a trusted the most   . 

               @jedzas   /   have a thing .

[vaememes]

*    CHVRCHES    (   LOVE  IS  DEAD  )    LYRIC     PROMPTS   . 

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF CHVRCHES ‘ LOVE IS DEAD ‘ PROMPTS, CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

SONG    TITLE     :     HEAVEN    /     HELL   .

‘  am i real if you can see right through me?  ‘

‘  do you believe it? do you believe?  ‘

‘  am i real if i’m a broken record?  ‘

‘ do you believe it? i don’t.  ‘

‘ do you ever wonder what we learned?  ‘

‘ we can raise our glasses, dancing on the ashes as it burns.  ‘

‘ have you reached the point of no return?  ‘

‘ is this heaven or is this hell?  ‘

‘ if none of this is real, then show me what you feel. ‘

‘ is it enough, yeah? is it enough?  ‘

‘ is it alright if i save myself. ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     GRAVES   .

‘  do you really believe that you can never be sure?   ‘

‘  they’re leaving bodies in stairwells.  ‘

‘  do you really expect us to care what you’re waiting for?   ‘

‘  you can look away while they’re dancing on our graves.  ‘

‘ oh, i will stop at nothing.  ‘

‘ do you really believe that you are one of a kind?  ‘

‘ if you don’t have a heart, i can offer you mine.  ‘

‘ do you really expect that you will always be fine?  ‘

‘ if i only see what i can see. ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     MIRACLE   .

‘  ask me no questions, i will tell you no lies.  ‘

‘  careful what you wish for.  ‘

‘  were looking for angels in the darkest of skies.  ‘

‘  i feel like i’m falling but i’m trying to fly.  ‘

‘  where does all the good go?  ‘

‘ do you really believe that you are one of a kind?  ‘

‘ if you don’t have a heart, i can offer you mine.  ‘

‘ were looking for answers in the highest highs.  ‘

‘ but will we ever, ever know? ‘

‘ i need you to know I’m not asking for a miracle. ‘

‘ if love is enough, could you let it show?  ‘

‘ if you feel it could you let me know? ‘

‘ we’re looking for light inside an ocean of night. ‘

‘ will we ever see it through? ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     REALLY     GONE   .

‘  i can never tell what you want. ‘

‘  even with time, you’ll never learn to move on.  ‘

‘  i’m trying my best to lift you up, to repair. ‘

‘  i’m holding on, i’m holding on.  ‘

‘ i’ll wait until you’re really gone.  ‘

‘ i can do no right for doing wrong.  ‘

‘ i’ll swallow my pride, i only want to belong. ‘

‘ i’m trying my best to toughen up.  ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     GRAFFITI   .

‘ did you achieve all you wanted to do? ‘

‘  something was different and nothing was new.  ‘

‘  how did you see me?  ‘

‘  we didn’t know what we wanted to be.  ‘

‘  when did we move on?  ‘

‘ i didn’t feel it, nobody told me.  ‘

‘ time to kill. ‘

‘ we wrote our names along the bathroom walls. ‘

‘ graffitiing our hearts across the stalls. ‘

‘  i’ve been waiting for my whole life to grow old.   ‘

‘  we didn’t know wrong, didn’t know right.  ‘

‘  we were just kids.  ‘

‘  we didn’t know how and didn’t know when.  ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     WONDERLAND   .

‘  i am talking in my sleep, hiding inside my dreams. ‘

‘  fighting inside my head.  ‘

‘  scaring myself to death. ‘

‘  we live in a wonderland.  ‘

‘  like blood isn’t on our hands.  ‘

‘  when will it be enough?  ‘

‘  when will i say i knew we had to get away?  ‘

‘  we had to get away, knew we had to get away.  ‘

‘ can’t live forever with my head in the clouds.  ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     FOREVER   .

‘  savor the taste, savor the pain. ‘

‘  i don’t expect you to release me.  ‘

‘  jumping the gun, holding my tongue. ‘

‘  i’d never ask you to forgive me.  ‘

‘  and you will never see my side.  ‘

‘  and i will always think i’m right.  ‘

‘  i told you that i would hate you ‘til forever.  ‘

‘  missing the mark, we tear it a part.  ‘

‘ i never ask you why you need me.  ‘

‘ what else should i say? ‘

‘  what else could i do? ‘

‘ maybe it’s too much for you. ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     GET    OUT   .

‘  talked ourselves to death. ‘

‘  never saying what i wanted.  ‘

‘  i pushed you to the edge. ‘

‘  reflections you used to see, never look a like to me.  ‘

‘  get, get, get out. get, get, get out of here.  ‘

‘  can we get out, get, get, get out of here?  ‘

‘  good intentions never good enough.  ‘

‘  going out my mind.  ‘

‘ never getting what i wanted.  ‘

SONG    TITLE     :     NEVER    SAY     DIE   .

‘  wasn’t it gonna be fun and wasn’t it gonna be new?  ‘

‘  wasn’t it gonna be different and wasn’t it gonna be true?  ‘

‘  didn’t you say that? didn’t you say that? ‘

‘  weren’t you gonna be sorry and weren’t you gonna be pure?  ‘

‘  weren’t we gonna be honest and weren’t we gonna be more?  ‘

‘  all you want is to play at playing god.  ‘

‘  but i’m falling in, i’m falling out.  ‘

‘  never, ever, ever say die  ‘

‘  weren’t you trying forgiveness and weren’t you trying to stay?  ‘

‘  weren’t you trying to look up and weren’t you trying to pray?  ‘

[windsshowling]

endless Witcher 3 scenery » 76/∞

[portendere]

GEHWALT   :   GERALT​

lips find purchase against his fingers while elbows sit on the hard wood of the table. even now there’s a difficulty in looking at her directly, a feeling of awkwardness that came from the awareness he’d been staring at a stranger for too long despite not being the reality at all. actually, he’d not glanced more than two times to the right since they’d sat.

and this was also no stranger. even as a she spoke he realized she’d been withholding. the words come across carefully picked to his sensitive ears. it seems the young woman had adopted some of himself while she’d been away .. he resists the urge to shake his head and drink from the tankard but a small smile does creep into the cheek opposite of her view. another brief glance in their direction; the way their brow arched high whenever something enigmatic surrounded the conversation was still familiar to him, the look had been more frequent in her youth when they’d first entered discussions about monsters. it’d waned of course when the mysteries surrounding these creatures were solved through meticulous instruction — but returned again when she’d been introduced to the armory.

he remembers wanting to reach out for her as well just like when she’d fallen from the wall. somehow, in some way his fingers would connect to catch her in his dreams while in the waking world his hands would remain empty. save a sword choking in his grasp. almost every night, the being swallowed down this feeling alongside the spit and blood.

leaning away slightly from the rinsing motion of his hands to face her fully, even as the lining of his throat starts to constrict. it was unfair to want to know so much of her and not give her the same, ❝ after you disappeared again, there’d been a letter sent for me. i headed to willoughby .. do you know of it? ❞

   awareness hadn’t been towards him completely   ,   at least not until he moved   .   constant running had brought along paranoia   ..   a weakness she was more than ever aware of   .   head moves to glance but she catches it before it shifts too far   .   he’ll notice her tense   ,   he’ll notice her shift   ,   he always does   .   she wonders if he’ll take this as an instructional moment or if he’ll let her have her fear   .   and she is so full of it she worries talking about it will only make her seem   ..   unworthy   .     “   willoughby   ?   ”   she pauses   .   “   was that on one of uncle vessimir’s boring maps   ?   ”   for a brief moment she’s a child again   ,   a hint of disdain on her brow as she memories rush back of copying information and rereading monster books for punishment   .   “   i don’t think i’ve been there   ,   have i   ?   ”   she questions as if he knows but it’s not poised for an answer   ..   she’s still thinking and face reflects it   .

   eyes glance into tankard   ,   she’s drinking far too quickly   .   perhaps it’s the nervousness   .   she wants nothing more but to be worthy of his attention   ,   she doesn’t know if she’s reached that yet   --   she doesn’t think she had   .   “   either way i don’t remember   .   ”   for a brief moment   ,   panic   .   “   but you can’t tell uncle vessimir if it was   ,   you can’t   !   even now he’ll make me copy down books and i won’t   .   ”   a shake of her head   ,   she’s a child still   .     here and now that’s all she is   ;   a child grown far too quickly for the soul purpose of being so incredibly unlucky to be born   . 

   “   why did you go   ?   who sent the letter   ?   did you find what you were looking for   ?   ”   questions like a torrent of rain   ,   full attention and with the lightest of smiles   .   she’s engaged once again   ,   the same as when he’d tell her stories before   .   “   did you kill a mighty beast   ?   ”

[portendere]

   silence as she watches   ,   movements are calculated and well trained   .   it does please her quite a bit to see if be someone other than a man to perform feats like this   ,   she’s only ever met few woman with so much control   . 

   “   you didn’t even give him a chance   .   ”

   she moves in only when the fight is over   ,   mostly to avoid soiling her sword but also because there was no reason for her to stop in   .   ashen hair glimmers under the sun as she moves closer   ,   eyes taking in the carnage around them   .   they had picked the wrong target   ;   as stupid thieves tend to do on the roads   .   “   it’s been a long time   ,   eve   ,   you’ve gotten much better since   .   ”

   in a blink she’s in front of the girl   ,   control she worked hard to muster in skills she was born with   .   “   would you tell your   ..   men   ,   i guess   ..   to put down the crossbows   ,   please   .   ”

            @wrathfil​ 

[bunnieresources]

ancient dreams in a modern land writing prompts.

“ we could bear witness to the rise and the fall. “

“ i’m trying to get back as fast as i can. “

“ you don’t have to be like everybody else. “

“ i am here to take a look inside myself. “

“ i could be the eye of the storm. “

“ what’s your purpose? “

“ you could be lost, but you belong to the world. “

“ i am the observer, i’m a witness of life. “

“ i live in the space between the stars and the sky. “

“ whatever you give life, you will get back. “

“ why be a wallflower when you can be a venus fly trap? “

“ i did it my way. “

“ nothing in this world could change me. “

“ don’t underestimate me because one day you’re gonna see you’re in a losing battle. “

“ i should be motherfucking crazy. “

“ i sacrificed it all for a life to call mine. “

“ they’ll shame you, blame you, pretend to even hate you. “

“ i don’t want to live in a man’s world anymore. “

“ don’t underestimate the making of life. “

“ you are not my master. “

“ tell me, who do you think you are? “

“ you forgot that without me, you won’t go far. “

“ our life as we knew it now belongs to yesterday. “

“ life is a game that the universe plays. “

“ this is how we’re meant to be. “

“ i never see you cry. “

“ you can let go of the pain in your heart. “

“ you know it’s safe to tell me how you feel. “

“ emotions are a part of our design. “

“ you can’t bury the truth. “

“ it’s time to pay your dues. “

“ you know that love’s a gift, but it can also be a curse. “

“ i pray that hope’s not lost. “

“ i love you but i love me more. “

“ do you expect me to believe that you’ve changed when i can tell that you’re exactly the same? “

“ you’d rather shut your eyes than feel any pain. “

“ i told you before that love isn’t enough. “

“ how can i trust you after what i’ve been through? “

“ you only care about me when it suits you. “

“ i would rather not betray myself, just to keep your love at any cost. “

“ maybe i would’ve stayed. “

“ i fucked it up, i lost it all. “

“ my life might not be what i thought, but i wouldn’t change a thing. “

“ i will never be yours again. “

“ maybe we won’t meet again, but you’ll always be my closest friends. “

“ some mistakes are hard to learn. “

[portendere]

   “   so you have to tell me   ..   ”

   she steps closed as she puts sword away   ,   examining the witcher in front of her   .   it’s all very clear   ,   she can see it   .   the way he handles himself is different than any hunter and the swords give him away   .   though it was the discoloration in his skin that really told her exactly what it was when she’d first encountered him   ,   something she was used to seeing when it came to her own favorite witcher   .

   “   why the heavy stuff   ?   ” 

   having been trained under those that train with the wolf school   ,   she hardly sees the point in wearing something that only seemed like it would slow you down   .   he had armor she’s pretty sure she would never see geralt in and even with sword and crossbow look like they have extra weight in them   .   she’s heard rumors that bears tend to play keep away with themselves   ,   but he’d helped her on the road with an endrega that got a good hit on her and let her tag along   .   “   wouldn’t it be easier to you know   ,   not throw around something that could weigh as much as i do   ?   ” 

   the inuendo in the joke doesn’t miss her but she quick to recover the change in her face   ,   and only the slightest of blushes appears   .   it could easily be blamed on the smile on her face if her heart rate hadn’t skyrocketed   .

         @unforgive​

[portendere]

   “   it wasn’t that bad   .   ”

   statement falls short of exasperation heard on breath   .   a drink between the two of them   ,   they had only just started   .   it was different now   ,   wasn’t it   ?   she could still remember looking all the way up to him   ;   the feeling of thinking that she would only ever get so tall if she stood on the pendulums   . 

   she takes another sip   ,   slow going if only to make the moment last   .   she could hold him hostage with the purpose of having to finish it off   ;   if he’d meant his words quite literally   .   she always did have a hard time figuring out when to count them that way   .

   lips part to start again   ,   he’s actively listening   ,   as if he wants to know   .   “   at first it was hard   .   i found myself wishing it was a simple as grabbing hold of you or uncle vessimir or triss or lady yennifer and taking you with me   .   ”   but could it have been   ,   if she tried hard enough   ?   she never would know   ,   she’d never tried   .   as much vague information as she heard though   ,   he had been having a hard time too   .   “   i heard you searched for me   .   ”   she knows topic change will only last for as much information as he’s willing to share   ,   but she tries anyways   .

         @gehwalt​

[windsshowling]

endless Witcher 3 scenery » 83/∞

[promaethean]

A DARKER SHADE OF MAGIC / A GATHERING OF SHADOWS by v. e. schwab sentence meme.

❛  I’d rather die on an adventure than live standing still.  ❜

❛  After all, you can kill people, but you cannot kill magic. Not truly.  ❜

❛  Impossible. What a useless word, in a world with magic.  ❜

❛  Everyone thinks I have a death wish, you know? But I don’t want to die – dying is easy. No, I want to live, but getting close to death is the only way to feel alive. And once you do, it makes you realize that everything you were actually doing before wasn’t actually living. It was just making do. Call me crazy, but I think we do the best living when the stakes are high.  ❜

❛  You have two faces. One you wear for the world at large, and the one you wear for those you love.  ❜

❛  Everyone’s immortal until they’re not.  ❜

❛  It is as it is. It cannot be undone. So please, be grateful, and be done with it.  ❜

❛  The thing about freedom? It doesn’t come naturally. Almost no one has it handed to them. I’m free because I fought for it.  ❜

❛  I know you can do this. I know you can hear me. Stay with me. Listen to my voice.  ❜

❛  Maybe you just got a taste of what it really means to be alive. You almost died. So now you know what it feels like to live. To fear for that life. To fight for it. And once you know, well, there’s no going back.  ❜

❛  You made a mistake. Everybody makes them. Even me. I’ve made many. It’s only fair that you made one.  ❜

❛  I did only what I had to do. If I could have given my life for yours, I would have.  ❜

❛  A kiss for luck. Not that I need it.  ❜

❛  I know. I know what and who you are. What will you do? Kill me?  ❜

❛  Why am I the only one in this fucking world to be held accountable for my actions?  ❜

❛  Aren’t you afraid of dying?  ❜

❛  I’m sorry. For whatever happened to you. For whoever hurt you so deeply that you see things like friends and fondness as weapons instead of shields.  ❜

❛  You know so little of war. Battles may be fought from the outside in, but wars are won from the inside out.  ❜

❛  Between the two of us, we’ll tear the whole world down.  ❜

❛  I am going to cut that smile off your face.  ❜

❛  It hurts. More than dying ever did. There are days when I feel like I deserve this.  ❜

❛  Death doesn’t scare me. Not nearly as much as the idea of wasting a perfectly good life in fear of it.  ❜

❛ You’re always so eager to slash and stab, why couldn’t you have stabbed him.  ❜

❛  Which is it, huh? You’re angry at me, or worried about me, or happy to see me? Because I can’t keep up.  ❜

❛  Wouldn’t it be amazing, if we got away with it?  ❜

Keep reading

[ashendemon]

[portendere]

      at least she knows manners   ,   to the extent that she was taught them   .   sometimes there are things you can’t rely on witchers to teach you   .   one of them being how to survive on the isles if you were to ever fall out of the sky and land there   .   she’d been lucky enough to stumble into eivor   ,   there was a kindness there despite all firmness   ;   she recognized it in him   . 

   “   thank you   ..   for helping me   .   ”

   exhaustion   .   that’s all she feels at the moment   .   it had taken a lot of magic to get here   ,   especially when she didn’t know exactly where she was landing   .   to hop so many times to avoid detection was a strain even on her   .   she’s been worn out and injured   ,   she needed the breather and she simply wasn’t getting it   .

   “   i’ll pay you back for the kindness   .   ”   she assures   ,   knowing that it was only right   .   he wasn’t asking anything in return right now   ,   she needed to let him know that he could   .   “   i’m ciri   .   ”   she’s sure the medallion hanging on her neck was enough of a hint to what she was supposed to be   .   “   sorry for collapsing on you like that   .   i thought i had enough in me to at least make it to the inn   .   ”

         @unforsake​

[portendere]

      for a second   ,   she almost doesn’t ask   .   more so because it seems pointless   ,   but she’d never know if she didn’t   .   they sit on the walls of kaer morhen   ,   the sun is rising   .   perhaps it’s the years of intense training that made it hard to sleep past dawn   .   maybe the constant running in fear   ;   she’ll blame it on the training if anyone asks   . 

   “   so what happens if someone hires you to do something and you don’t agreed   ?   ”

   she’s been wondering for a while now   ,   but when she was younger it was too hard to ask   .   it was all about the monsters   ,   all about the footwork   .   now   ,   with a moment to take a breath and simply relax it felt like fair game   .   she felt safe here   ;   not in collapsing walls but beside the father figure she adored   .   “   have you ever had someone hire you and you just didn’t agree with what they wanted done   ?   ” 

   though she doesn’t look at him   ,   it’s clear she wants to   .   “   do you just say no   ?   or do you figure out a way to do it your way and how you want to do it and still get paid for it   ?   ”

         @unforsake​