I change as quick as the weather

frankie ; 18 ; agender | bands, girls, witchcraft, anime, cats | slytherin | i honestly am fucked up, but i'm still alive. | ig @/angelic.bat | not using much Tumblr (for now. I'm planning to get back to it)

[ouc-h-deactivated20180811]

welcome to anxiety, sponsored by depression

[redsatinsheets]

why am i so small and sensitive and in need of constant reassurance

[tachylyte]

*realizes I exist outside of my own perceptions of myself and that people probably talk about me sometimes* what the fuck

[inanotherunivrse]

in another universe, you loved me as much as i loved you

[parentless-suggestions]

why do I have memory gaps? why do I forget things so easily? why do I feel like I’m delusional, like anything I see or feel isn’t real and isn’t there? why do I feel like I’m always lying? what happened? why don’t I remember it?

[quietvoiced]

[inanotherunivrse]

in another universe i didn’t worry about every single thing i did i didnt worry about how much i weighed every time i ate i didnt worry about how i looked in other people’s eyes i didnt worry about how you thought of me

in another universe i was happy.

[inanotherunivrse]

In another universe, my mom understands what I’m going trough and she’s here for me every time I need somebody to hold me tight and tell me that it’ll be ok.

[blueberryborderline]

i don’t see enough people talking about the part of bpd which involves jumping from hobby to hobby, and the 473747 projects that are started but never finished and the emptiness that comes with it

[jay-wants-to-be-a-hummingbird]

Me, dissociating: I am,,,,,,,,,,,me???

[blueberryborderline]

having high empathy and BPD at the same time is hell

[cryptidpoet]

Things i did not realise were because of my BPD until i started reading up on BPD: a list

- all of my emotions are manipulative and i must not share them

- s c r e a m

- panic if someone doesn’t respond to messages immediately

- anger if my fp responds to things in a way i did not anticipate (what the fuck! What! The fuck!)

- constantly clenched jaw

- hyper empathetic to the point that it disrupts my life

- i can taste my feelings

- i have no feelings only white noise

- wants sex right now pls

- don’t touch me i’ll cry

- Depression Naps™ except im not asleep im just lying with my eyes closed and having half awake trauma dreams

- constantly telling everyone im fine when im literally clearly not

- therapist: how are you feeling today?

Me: how am i supposed to know tf

- “tell me something about yourself” *internally rifles through my drawer of personalities*

[bean-pd]

you know when you’re in like mental limbo like when you’re in between certain phases and you can’t exactly pinpoint how you are at the moment. you’re not exactly manic but not depressed and not calm and “normal” yet also not sad and empty. you’re just kinda…..existing. it doesn’t feel right but you can’t really pinpoint what’s wrong

[parentless-suggestions]

I can’t remember anything. I can’t remember being a kid. I can’t remember who I am. Am I even the person who was originally here? I’m not sure anymore, but I think I’m the only one now. I’m not sure. I don’t remember. I can’t remember.

[inanotherunivrse]

in another universe i wouldn’t be so depressed and I would have such a happy life filled with nothing but love and happiness

[traumasurvivors]

It’s okay if you thought you were over it but it hits you all over again. 

It’s okay to fall apart even after you thought you had it under control. 

You are not weak. Healing is messy. And there is no timeline for healing. 

[bpdminds]

Someone: why are you always so clingy?? 

Me: