I wanted to take a minute during this PRIDE Month to talk about my nephew.
My nephew is 5 years old and I’ve been a part of his life since he was born. I was a teenager when he was born and still closeted on my gender identity. Present as female, my nephew of course grew up calling me “Auntie” and knew me as a woman.
When I actually came out, I had moved out on my own and hadn’t gotten to see my nephew in a while. Over that time, I had started my hormone therapy, legally changed my name, and had my legal gender updated.
My parents and older brother were in such a panic because “how does one explain this to a child” and they all were lowkey panicking over it because I’d be seeing him soon.
Well, before visiting my mom and nephew did a video call with me and my mom told my nephew it was “auntie”, hoping he’d just roll with it.
Well, not only did my nephew roll with it, the minute he saw my rather full beard and heard my deeper voice it must have just clicked I was male. No explanation was needed.
My mother told me after that he said “GG, you’re so funny. You thought Auntie was a girl, but he’s a boy.”
It’s one of my favorite stories, honestly.
When I finally saw him in person, gender was never the focus of the discussion. We played with dragons and stick swords like we usually do and he told me about Lord of the Rings which Daddy had been reading to him. The only mention was him randomly saying to me “Auntie, you used to look like a girl. But, it’s okay because when I was a baby I looked like a girl too.”
I guess why I wanted to share this was trans identities are not complicated. We complicate gender the older we get and society puts a massively unneeded pressure on us for something really so small.
While adults would ask me 20 questions about my identity, my nephew at the age of 5 accepted on the spot I was male and apparently even believed I always had been with absolutely no explanation. And, even then, all he cared about was if I’d play dragons with him.
Frankly, in a world where gender is so horribly overly complicated and being trans is a shocking thing, I wish more people would simply be concerned if I would still play dragons with them.
(Also, yes he still calls me Auntie but its because I find it hilarious and it’s not dysphoric for me)
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