* 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 / 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 !

i'm feeling lonely oh, i wish i'd find a lover that could hold me now i'm crying in my room so skeptical of love

[mconwrites]

notes the chances in her reactions — the kind of person to give whoever he was speaking to his full attention. he's someone of hyper-focus, and sometimes that even extends to simple conversations. his lip twitches, reaching up to wipe the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. her comments make him laugh, genuine and light. she's funny, though he isn't quite sure if it's intentional or not. gets the sense that she's not at all an easy person to read, which only intrigues him. " well, they probably deserved it, right ? " he retorts playfully, amusement lacing his tone. " can't say i've never been tempted. " but of course, he has too much to lose. knows how to keep his cool outside of the ring. " well, hitting real people is what wins me titles, so it's difficult to compete with that. but the bag can be pretty therapeutic. it's a good way to let out frustration without any consequences. " something he thinks anyone could benefit from. " i'll be here for a while. i can guide you through it if you feel like giving it a try, " kyro offers up, taking a step closer. " i'm kyro, by the way. i'd, uh, shake your hand, but it's a little sweaty, " laughs as he extends it halfway, then pulls it back. " mine, not yours. "

[postergrl]

“oh,  of  course.  i'm  not  a  monster  who  just  goes  around  hitting  people  for  no  reason.”  that's  not  what  others  would  say,  but  that  was  maeve's  truth.  anyone  who  found  themselves  to  be  a  victim  at  her  hands  was  truly  deserving,  because  she  was  not  one  to  butt  in  to  others'  affairs.  “i  say  go  for  it.  what's  the  worst  that  could  happen  ?  if  you're  a  professional  puncher,  it  doesn't  seem  like  it'd  be  out  of  character.”  not  that  maeve  understood  the  politics  of  professional  sports  (  or  sports  in  general  ),  nor  did  she  understand  what  it  took  to  be  a  DECENT  PERSON.  most  people  didn't  go  around  punching  anyone  who  made  a  snarky  remark,  but  maeve  was  not  most  people.

“oh,  wow,  a  real  professional.  titles  and  all,  hm  ?  and  just  how  many  titles  have  you  acquired  over  the  past…  twenty-something  years  ?”  maeve  never  considered  consequences,  so  she  does  let  a  small  chuckle  slip  as  he  mentions  them.  “which  form  ?  the  professional  form,  or  the  form  that  gets  the  job  done  ?”  she'd  never  done  well  with  people  telling  her  what  to  do,  even  if  that  was  their  job  as  a  teacher,  coach,  or  parent.  “shea,”  she  tells  him.  what  he  doesn't  know  won't  hurt  him.  “and  i've  never  been  afraid  of  a  little  sweat.”

[mconwrites]

he kisses back, doesn't pull away this time. in fact, he only moves to bring her closer. a sense of relief washing over her as he pulls her into his lap, slight curve of her lips pressed against his. she let's go of her grip on his shirt, moves her hands to the back of his neck, fingers lightly tangled in locks as she deepens the kiss that they share. no part of the embrace feels like something she shouldn't be doing. it feels nice, warm, electric. their chemistry undeniable, and god knows they had tried to resist it, pretend it wasn't there. " i knew you wanted me, " utters breathlessly as she pulls back for a moment ( barley ) , can't help but to feel mildly triumphant even if she forever has to live with the fact that she kissed him first. something she doesn't regret as she leans back in, chases the feel of his lips once again. doesn't dare to admit she could get used to this. but she could, quite easily. could stay here like this for the rest of the night, revisit it again tomorrow. it's a thought that should have her second-guessing their actions, but instead she only gravitates. if there's repercussions, future them can deal with it.

[postergrl]

achilles  would  never  admit  how  frequently  this  exact  scenario  had  run  through  his  brain.  if  you  were  to  ask  of  him,  he  never  thought  of  luna  unless  she  wasn't  present  in  the  room  (  and  likely  pissing  him  off  ).  but,  DEEP  DOWN,  he's  learning  the  real  thing  is  better  than  he  could  have  ever  imagined.  her  body  feels  just  right  beneath  his  hands,  as  if  they  were  made  for  her.  their  moves  are  slow  and  synchronized,  and  this  is  definitely  the  longest  they've  gone  without  sending  quips  back  and  forth.

it  doesn't  last  for  long,  though,  as  she  pulls  away  (  far  too  soon  for  his  liking  ).  he  rolls  his  eyes,  but  her  lips  find  their  way  back  to  his  before  he  can  make  his  own  comment.  which  is  probably  FOR  THE  BEST,  considering  there  isn't  one  coherent  thought  running  through  his  mind.  he's  happy  to  just  be  a  pair  of  lips,  a  pair  of  hands,  a  body  for  her  to  use  in  any  way  she  wants.  he's  far  too  used  to  living  a  life  of  COMPLIANCE,  and  he  was  willing  to  do  whatever  she  asked  of  him.  “seems  the  feeling  was  mutual,”  he  finally  mumbles,  not  even  making  the  effort  to  part  their  lips.

[mconwrites]

air no longer feels like it belongs in her lungs, chokes her with every moment that passes. he enters the room, and all she can do is stare, blank and filled with so much confusion as he talks, explains. it only further propels her into a state of shock, of overwhelming emotion she can’t quite contain. lower lip quivers, a shaky breath exhaled. he’s the man she loved. some days she’s certain that she still does. that part of her always will. marriage had always been a hope when they were together, a dream for the future. the idea that it could have been their reality is a difficult thought to process now they're standing here, years later, as exes instead of loves. " but you . . . you have it, " she whispers, tears threatening to spill over. pretend this never happened. her head shakes instantly, and she can no longer bring herself to look at the ring, quickly closes the box over and hurriedly places it back into the drawer. locks it away. there's so much she wants to say, ask, and yet the words seem trapped inside her mouth. there's a slow pace back and forth, and she's almost afraid to stop her feet from moving, because then she'd have to bring herself to look at him and she no longer feels like she has the composure to do so without falling apart. tells herself it's the timing, that she's so upset because of her earlier anguish. but it isn't true. it's the unbearable realization of how much they lost. " you wanted to marry me ? " she questions far too quietly, something she's never been. stills then, tears dampening cheeks and she's quick to reach up, wipe them away with the sleeves of his sweater that still provides comfort even now. " before or after ? " needs to know, needs something. knows she's probably asking too much, that this must be as painful for him as it is for her, if not more so. but she needs to hear it. " was it before or after you thought i was — " addison swallows down the lump in her throat, inhales as she dares take a step closer, regretful gaze locked on him. " would you still have asked me ? "

[postergrl]

rhys  stands  there  in  silence,  watching  her  hurriedly  dump  the  ring  back  in  the  drawer,  as  if  pretending  it  didn't  exist.  the  problem  was  it  did  exist.  there  was  no  denying  it  for  either  of  them  anymore.  it  was  easier,  when  he  was  the  only  one  who  knew.  because,  on  most  days,  he  could  forget.  he  would  pull  out  the  same  two  jumpers  he  always  wore,  never  touching  the  one  the  box  was  under.  he'd  leave  his  apartment,  live  his  (  unfortunately  )  addison-free  life,  and  come  home.  no  visual  reminders  of  it,  few  visual  reminders  of  her  to  keep  him  stuck  in  the  past.  all  that  needed  to  change  was  him.  and  he  was  well  on  his  way.  but  every  time  he  managed  two  steps  forward,  life  set  him  three  steps  back.  although,  this  felt  like  twelve  steps  back. 

the  silence  between  them  only  grows  because,  unintentionally,  she's  backed  him  into  a  corner.  the  way  she's  phrased  this  question,  he  knows  there's  no  satisfactory  answer  he  could  give.  at  least  none  that  were  fully  honest.  “addison…  I  DATE  TO  MARRY.  i  never  would  have  asked  you  to  be  my  girlfriend  if  i  didn't  see  a  real  future  with  you.  my  goal  was  always  to  marry  you,”  he  begins,  rubbing  his  face  with  his  hand.  rhys  is  trying  really  hard  to  choose  his  words  carefully.  he  finds  this  whole  ordeal  UNFAIR,  but  is  well-aware  he  can't  voice  that.  it  wasn't  fair  she  got  to  be  so  upset  over  a  life  she  gave  up.  ADDISON  BROKE  UP  WITH  RHYS,  but  time  and  time  again,  it  seemed  like  rhys  was  the  one  paying  the  price  for  it.  “i'd  be  lying,  if  i  said  it  played  no  part  in  the  decision…  but  all  it  really  did  was  expedite  it.” 

rhys  knew  the  type  of  man  he  was  –  he  wanted  the  mother  of  his  children  to  be  his  WIFE.  he  wanted  a  family  unlike  the  one  he  grew  up  in.  one  where  his  children  had  two  loving  parents  who  were  proud  of  them  no  matter  what.  he  could  see  this,  with  addison.  she  had  her  own  unique  family  background,  one  that  was  much  more  loving  than  his.  she  herself  was  so  full  of  love,  and  he  had  always  felt  grateful  to  have  been  able  to  experience  it.  addison  had  many  admirable  traits,  ones  he  would  be  thrilled  for  his  children  to  possess.  it  was  why,  when  addison  raised  her  suspicions,  he  was  thrilled.  sure,  maybe  they  were  a  bit  young,  but  rhys  knew  the  two  of  them  could  handle  anything  together.  plus,  he'd  always  wanted  to  be  a  dad,  and  he  just  couldn't  believe  the  opportunity  was  actually  here.  well,  until  it  wasn't.  “and  yes,  i  have  it,  because  nobody  tells  you  what  to  do  with  the  engagement  ring  you  buy  for  a  girl  who  breaks  up  with  you  before  you  can  use  it.”

[mconwrites]

he's disciplined, routine never changing, only adapting with his schedule. kyro is well aware that he only has a few peak years left in him, and it's important that he gives his all to them. leaves a lasting mark on the career he's chosen. even now, with a few weeks off back at home, he's in the gym. keeping active, keeping on top of training. albeit, a little more relaxed than during camp. punches the bag one last time, stopping it from swinging with both hands when he realizes someone is watching. his smile comes before she even speaks, forever more friendly than his job description would imply. " five times a week for the last twenty-something years, " he responds, and he's proud, but also realizes how it might make him sound. obsessive. which is the reality of it. " sometimes i even hit real people, " teases, voice dropping to a whisper as if it's some kind of secret. " safely and professional, of course " he's quick to add, tone still light. " boxer, " kyro points out, moving away from the bag and closer to her. " have you ever tried it before ? "

[postergrl]

maeve's  a  bit  surprised  at  how  WELCOMING  he  is  to  her  presence.  most  people  were  not,  and  she  couldn't  blame  them.  she  knew  who  she  was,  but  she  always  liked  who  she  was.  and  maeve  knew  some  people  were  just  kinder,  but  she  could  never  understand  why.  well,  she  ASSUMED  they  had  happier  home  lives  than  she  –  parents  who  loved  each  other,  parents  who  sat  down  for  dinner  with  them  and  had  conversations  about  their  days.  she  would  never  know  this  without  either  outright  asking,  or  developing  a  friendship  with  those  she  considered  kind.  most  people  did  not  like  either  of  those  choices,  not  that  maeve  cared  that  much.  she  was  used  to  it. 

her  brows  raise  in  interest  as  he  mentions  hitting  REAL  PEOPLE,  but  quickly  drop  as  he  mentions  safely  and  professional.  “tried  which,  hitting  the  bag  or  real  people  ?  i've  definitely  hit  real  people  before,  but  not  safely  and  professional…”  a  smile  lines  her  lips,  wondering  what  he'd  think.  “the  bag,  though,  that  would  be  a  first  for  me.  which  do  you  find  to  be  more  satisfying  ?”

[mconwrites]

some things in life are simply undeniable : like the fact that she has brown eyes, that her name is luna, and that she’s infuriatingly drawn to the man across from her. with each move in the game, it feels like he’s drifting closer, the dwindling distance between them impossible to ignore. she's never been the type to shy away from attraction before, typically a little too upfront with, well, everything. but it's different this time. for one, they have to live together. heartbeat thrums in her chest, yet despite her unusual nervousness that she works hard to conceal, there's a slow smirk curving at her lips. " you, " she retorts lowly, " definitely you. i happen to like a little danger. " her own words seem to push forward her usual confidence, and truthfully, she's growing tired of the wander. of holding back. gaze falls to his lips once again, lingers almost deliberately. he's rejected her once before, and she knows if he does it again there's no going back. a risky move, one she should be smart enough not to make, and yet . . . the temptation rises. chest rises and falls, breaths deepening. her eyes meet his once again and she decides to throw caution to the wind. " oh, fuck it, i'm getting tired of this game anyway, " she mumbles, reaching out to grab onto the front of his shirt, pulling him in closer until their lips finally meet.

[postergrl]

the  second  she  pulls  him  in,  it  takes  everything  in  him  to  not  mumble  a  thank  god  against  her  lips.  would  definitely  lose  him  all  of  his  cool  points.  and,  after  completely  fumbling  his  first  opportunity  (  by  being  a  gentleman,  of  all  reasons  ),  he  refused  to  lose  this  one.  he  moves  quickly,  going  from  sitting  on  his  knees  to  sitting  flat  on  the  floor,  refusing  to  let  his  lips  leave  hers.  once  he  himself  is  situated,  achilles  pulls  her  into  his  lap,  placing  her  legs  on  either  side  of  him. 

his  hands  land  on  her  hips,  but  he's  craving  more  of  her.  he  trails  his  hands  up  slightly,  just  enough  to  find  a  bit  of  skin  beneath  her  shirt  and  above  her  pants'  waistline.  still,  he's  a  GENTLEMAN,  and  rests  his  hands  there.  he's  trying  to  focus  on  her,  on  them,  and  not  the  way  his  heart  is  racing  inside  of  his  chest.  achilles  is  used  to  playing  it  safe  –  jumping  head  first  into  danger  is  still  new  to  him.  and,  what  could  be  more  dangerous  than  entangling  yourself  with  the  girl  who  lives  in  the  next  room  ?

[mconwrites]

warmth blossoms in her chest, and as he speaks she's filled with the strong desire to kiss him. for a few, fleeting seconds, she forgets all about the events of the night, all about the chance meeting that had made her sad. there's just rhys — steady, familiar, always knowing the right thing to say to make her heart skip. " you sure now how to flatter a girl, rhys henderson. " isn't sure how there isn't a queue of them lining up around the block for a chance with him, but part of her is quietly glad. with a nod she pulls herself away despite every urge she has to stay close. " second drawer, " she repeats, smile growing, " got it. " a quick kiss is pressed to his cheek, slight spring in her step as she makes her way through the apartment that had once felt like HOME to her — still does, in a sense. addison disappears into the room, hand caressing the sheets on the bed she used to sleep in. tries her best not to focus on all the little details too long — doesn't want to feel another wave of regret, but it creeps in anyway. as a soft sigh emits, she makes her way to the set of drawers, opens up the second one down. " forest green or christmas red ? " she calls out teasingly, grabs the red before he can answer. with the sweater pulled over her head, she basks in the way it smells like him, and it tugs at her heart in a way she can't explain. then she notices it — a small, velvet box tucked in the corner of the drawer, partially hidden beneath the sleeve of another sweater. her movements freeze, breath hitching. it couldn't be, could it ? " what's up with the ring box ? you got a secret someone i don't know about ? " she calls out again, shock causing a melodic laugh to follow, but it's tinged with nerves. she shouldn't look, she knows, but she can't seem to stop herself. when she opens it up, reality floods in. it was meant for her. the thought is a punch to the stomach, sharp and unforgiving. feet stay frozen in place, flashes of a life that could have been swirling in her mind. she does her best to hold it in, but a gasp is set free, stray tears on cheeks as she stands there, unable to move.

[postergrl]

it's  nice,  having  her  back.  at  one  point,  this  was  how  they  lived.  the  two  of  them,  in  the  kitchen,  making  jokes  together.  addison  just  had  a  way  of  lighting  up  a  room  just  by  being  in  it,  and  he  already  missed  her  presence  as  she  left  to  his  room.  “FOREST  GREEN,”  he  answers,  despite  knowing  she  was  probably  going  to  pick  red.  it  was  her  favorite  color  to  wear,  despite  how  much  he  thought  green  suited  her.  another  thing  he  adored  about  her  –  she  had  no  problem  sticking  to  what  she  liked  for  herself.  she'd  never  changed  her  opinions  simply  because  rhys  thought  that  way. 

he's  absentmindedly  mixing  their  tea  when  his  whole  world  seems  to  crash  around  him.  RING  BOX  ?  rhys  momentarily  freezes,  because  it  can't  be  what  he  thinks  it  is,  can  it  ?  his  heart  is  pounding  within  his  chest,  and  he  swears  he  can  hear  his  heartbeat.  he  drops  what  he's  doing,  and  rushes  into  his  room,  but  it  seems  to  be  too  late.  she's  holding  the  box,  staring  the  ring  right  in  it's  big  jeweled  eye.  “shit,”  he  mutters,  taking  a  step  forward.  “addison,  i  swear  i  forgot  was  in  there…  i  put  it  there  so  long  ago,  that  i  honestly  haven't  seen  it  since…”  because,  how  could  you  look  at  the  engagement  ring  you  bought  for  the  girl  you  love  after  she  broke  up  with  you  ?  he  had  pictured  their  whole  life  together  –  a  small  wedding  (  because,  as  much  as  addison  loved  to  be  the  star,  he  knows  she'd  want  an  intimate  ceremony  ),  a  few  kids…  it  had  all  come  to  him  the  day  she  had  told  him  she  was  late.  rhys  had  already  wished  to  spend  the  rest  of  his  life  with  addison,  the  potential  pregnancy  had  just  been  his  push  to  make  things  LIFETIME-OFFICIAL  with  her.  the  very  day  she  had  mentioned  it,  he  went  out  and  bought  that  ring. 

what  he  hadn't  realized,  at  the  time,  was  how  different  their  reactions  would  end  up  being.  his  whole  life,  rhys  wanted  to  be  the  father  his  own  never  was.  he  wanted  to  wake  up,  make  breakfast  with  the  help  of  his  kids,  and  bring  it  to  his  adoring  wife  in  bed.  to  ADDISON.  but  she  wasn't  ready.  he  couldn't  have  been  mad  at  her  for  that,  but  the  fact  that  it  was  just  a  scare  had  been  a  HUGE  RELIEF  for  her,  and  a  devastating  revelation  for  him.  it  just  made  sense  for  the  two  to  part,  because  how  could  they  continue  ?  “any  chance  we  can  pretend  this  never  happened  ?”  he  knows  the  answer  is  no.

[postergrl]

@mconwrites

maeve  couldn't  understand  why  so  many  people  were  recommending  she  join  a  gym.  A  HEALTHY  RELEASE,  they  said,  but  she  thought  carpentry  was  as  good  of  a  release  as  they  came  (  getting  to  hit  anything  with  a  hammer  felt  good  ).  at  least  it  wasn't  tire-slashing.  still,  she  decided  to  give  the  gym  a  try.  somebody  had  gifted  her  a  month  of  a  membership,  which  felt  more  like  an  insult  than  a  gift. 

it  seems  there's  a  lot  for  her  to  do,  and,  if  anything,  sending  her  to  the  gym  was  probably  the  most  dangerous  thing  someone  could  do.  what  would  a  girl  like  her  do  with  an  even  stronger  body  ?  wreak  more  havoc  around  town.  and,  of  course,  what  caught  her  attention  were  the  body  bags.  more  specifically,  the  man  currently  punching  the  life  out  of  one.  subtlety  had  never  been  her  specialty,  and  she  never  cared  about  standing  out  in  a  negative  way  or  being  perceived  as  odd.  so,  it  doesn't  phase  her  when  the  other  looks  her  way  when  she's  probably  a  bit  closer  than  she  should  be.  “you  look  like  you  do  this  a  lot.”

[mconwrites]

so many of his years were spent keeping people at a safe distance, close enough to form some kind of friendship, but never the kind that felt so deep he’d feel the ache of them leaving, or the potential hurt of being used. that was until teddy. there was no way of him not getting attached, her personality too big and vibrant to ever be ignored. she’d pulled him in from the very first moment, and in her he’d found a comfortability to simply be himself. “ it does snow here, ” he confirms, smile growing wide as he finds himself wishing for it too. the longer she stays here, selfishly the better for him. “ and, you know, the clouds are looking pretty low to me, could be a sign, ” ace adds, slowly turning her around so she can look at the sky herself. hands rest on her hips, chin now against her shoulder. he’s yet to check the weather forecast for the week ahead, far too busy to even think about it. from taking care of his grandad, to planning how he could make her visit as fun as possible, he's barley taken a minute to breathe. but there’s a chill in the air, a cold, blissful breeze of HOPE. “ maybe i’ll plan ahead, hide every shovel within a ten-mile radius so it takes even longer for us to get out. that should keep you here a couple of days longer, right ? figure it'll take you a few days to catch me up on all the gossip anyway. ” ace enjoys the moment of closeness for a moment longer, soaks it all in like at any moment it could be gone, and he could wake up from what feels like a dream. " alright, " he eventually forces himself to pull away, if only for long enough that he moves back in front of her. " you ready to go ? i've got one overgrown pup waiting to smother you in kisses, and a grandad who i'm pretty sure thinks i've made you up. "

[postergrl]

“OH  MY  GOSH,  well  we  have  to  find  a  way  to  make  it  happen…  i  haven't  seen  snow  in  forever  !”  she'd  lived  in  florida  for  almost  four  years  now,  and  portland  didn't  even  get  that  much  snow.  maybe  a  couple  of  days  a  year,  if  that.  she  finds  herself  daydreaming  of  a  snow  day  with  ace,  but  it  doesn't  last  long.  the  second  his  hands  find  her  hips,  all  thoughts  disappear  from  her  brain.  with  his  chin  on  her  shoulder,  theodora  cocks  her  head  slightly  to  lean  against  his–  she  can't  help  but  want  to  close  any  gap  between  them.  this  was…  different  for  them.  she's  not  used  to  ace  being  this  touchy  with  her,  but  she  was  too  afraid  to  ask  any  questions  (  didn't  want  to  draw  attention  to  it,  in  case  he'd  pull  away  ).  she  wanted  to  soak  up  any  amount  of  closeness  she  could  get,  especially  after  months  of  distance.  “you  know,  that's  a  pretty  SOLID  plan…  i  think  we'd  have  to  execute  it  on  bikes,  like  we're  kids  in  an  eighties  movie.  really  adds  to  the  scheming  element,  don't  you  think  ?”  she  stands  up  straight  as  he  moves  to  stand  in  front  of  her,  all  of  a  sudden  feeling  colder.  “there's  literally  so  much  to  fill  you  in  on…  it's  been  so  hard  not  to  spill  any  beans  until  now,  but  i  really  needed  to  see  your  reaction  to  all  the  news.”  yet,  florida  leaves  her  mind  the  second  he  mentions  CHARLIE.  and  his  grandfather.  but  mostly  charlie.  “oh,  how  i've  missed  that  sweet  dog…  do  you  think  he  missed  me  ?  i  have  something  for  him  in  my  bag  !  as  for  your  grandad…  i'm  kind  of  nervous  to  meet  him.  is  that  silly  ?”  theodora's  scared  to  elaborate  on  why  she's  nervous,  because  it  means  admitting  how  much  she  cares  about  ace's  grandad's  opinion  of  her.  normally,  she  couldn't  care  less  what  others  thought  of  her.  she  was  nosy,  loud,  and  opinionated,  and  those  were  all  the  things  that  made  her  theodora.  but  she  knew  how  much  ace's  grandfather  meant  to  him,  which  made  it  so  he  meant  a  lot  to  theodora  as  well.  still,  her  she  refuses  to  let  negativity  take  over.  “back  on  the  topic  of  my  bag…”  she  starts,  taking  his  hands  in  hers.  “aren't  you  just  the  most  handsome  and  strongest  man  ever  ?"

[mconwrites]

he huffs out a laugh, hands instantly moving to rest on her legs as they sprawl over his lip. his small touches are absentminded, a result of so many years being so close. nothing about their actions make them seem like exes, something often confusing to others. but it works for them — even if sometimes even he forgets and has to remind himself that they're no longer together. " i'll break out the blow-up bed, " teases with a nod, " or there is the spare room at my place if he'd prefer a real one. " despite it having been so long ago, it still feels nice to have changed an opinion of him. family name would always leave a less-than-desirable reputation, but it was one built by his parents. one he's always tried to overcome, not for himself, but for the sake of his siblings. " think you've got room at the dinner table for a few strays ? " he questions affectionally, head tilting as he glances over at her, sheepish smile. his siblings could be . . . a lot, at times. but while they're adults capable of fending for themselves, his heart sinks at the idea of any of them choosing to sit alone. knows how susceptible many of them are to the holiday blues. " i'll make them promise to pull their weight, or, you know, i'll pull it for them, " the blonde male jokes, lopsided grin as he leans back further, stifles a yawn that threatens to sound.

[postergrl]

safiyah  had  never  considered  herself  to  be  a  PHYSICAL  TOUCH  type  of  person.  not  until  she  met  camden,  that  is.  if  anyone  else  had  tried  putting  a  hand  on  her  anywhere,  it  was  met  with  a  look  of  disdain.  yet,  with  camden,  it  seemed  her  heart  rate  went  down  with  his  touch–  as  if  telling  her  THIS  IS  RIGHT.  this  is  peace.  which  is  probably  why  their  separation  didn't  look  like  a  separation.  she  couldn't  help  the  fact  that  his  touch  calmed  her,  and  he'd  never  pushed  her  away.  it  was  routine  for  them.  “honestly,  he'd  probably  like  a  real  bed…  and  the  opportunity  to  sleep  in  past  SIX.”  although,  seeing  how  he  was  a  former  military  man,  she  felt  her  dad  wouldn't  have  any  trouble  with  that.  “would  you  want  that,  though  ?  my  dad  would  happily  take  the  air  mattress  if  he  thinks  that's  all  that's  available.  he's  always  telling  me  ‘  I’M  NOT  OLD.  YET.  ‘"  a  chuckle  leaves  her  lips  as  she  sits  up,  legs  still  draped  over  his.  she  places  her  hand  under  his  chin,  thumb  rubbing  against  his  cheek.  “i  guess  i  can  find  some  room,”  she  teases,  knowing  full  well  her  apartment  was  going  to  be  full  of  lomax  members.  “as  long  as  they  can  bring  their  own  chairs.  and  maybe  a  drink  or  something.  perhaps  if  we  make  the  weight  light,  they  can  handle  it  on  their  own.  it’s  YOUR  holiday  too,  and  i  want  you  to  be  able  to  enjoy  it…  i  know  dominic  will  be  thrilled  to  have  his  aunts  and  uncles  around.”  she  drops  her  hand  to  his  shoulder,  squeezing  it  lightly.  “won't  be  too  overwhelming  for  you,  will  it  ?”

[mconwrites]

" i don't have one ? guess i should really have a conversation with my dads about the guy who slept in the room next to mine for years, then, " retorts, knowing fine well he meant a motivational speaker, not a brother. though she has to admit, it's nice to hear him talk about someone who clearly matters to him. luna doesn’t miss the flicker of his gaze, the subtle glance that lands where it shouldn’t, lingering for half a second too long. she's a strong girl, knows how to WITHSTAND the heat, but it doesn't make her fully immune to the effects such a look can bring. like the slow increase of a heart rate, the flutter of something in her tummy. still, she curses herself for it. curses him despite the fact she, somewhere deep down, wishes he'd act on it. " however i want ? " she repeats, voice low, raspy. " are you sure about that ? that could end up being a pretty dangerous thing to offer. " yet it's this that feels dangerous — the way they both seem to be inching closer to a line they most likely shouldn't cross. but it's been bubbling away slowly, tension rising in a way that had blindsided her. now she can't seem to shake it, through no lack of trying. the truth is, part of her desires to know him in a way she doesn't right now. luna nods her head in the direction of the spinner, but she keeps her gaze locked and steady on his, as if to offer up a challenge. " it's your move. "

[postergrl]

achilles  rolls  his  eyes  at  her  ‘  clever  ’  retort,  waving  it  off  with  his  hand.  “yeah,  maybe  you  should.  bit  weird  they  just  let  somebody  sleep  there,  huh  ?”  he'd  never  met  her  brother--  perhaps  they  saw  each  other  in  passing  maybe  once  or  twice,  maybe  an  informal  introduction  had  been  made,  but  nothing  that  would  stick.  and  he  didn't  feel  like  he  needed  to.  it's  not  like  he  was  going  out  of  his  way  to  introduce  luna  to  his  sisters.  if  anything,  he  was  doing  his  best  to  make  sure  they'd  never  meet  each  other.  he  had  quite  a  few  skeletons  in  his  closet  that  he'd  never  mentioned  to  his  roommate,  and  he  didn't  need  his  sisters  coming  and  spilling  all  of  his  secrets.  things  between  the  two  of  them  were  FINE  the  way  that  they  were…  why  rock  the  boat  ?

his  thoughts  don't  linger  on  their  siblings  for  more  than  a  second,  because  he  can't  really  think  outside  of  what  he's  looking  at  in  front  of  him.  LUNA.  as  much  as  he'd  hate  to  admit  it,  he  wasn't  blind.  she  was  very  attractive,  and  although  her  personality  could  be  GRATING  at  times,  it  intrigued  him.  achilles  liked  their  back  and  forths,  more  than  he  cared  to  admit.  it's  why  he  felt  all  the  more  victorious  when  she  showed  any  hint  of  fondness  for  him  (  not  that  they  were  frequent  ).  “you  think  i  can't  handle  it  ?”  he's  not  entirely  sure  he  can  handle  it,  but  his  confidence  never  wavers.  it  can't--  especially  not  now.  he  takes  the  spinner  with  his  free  hand  and  gives  it  a  flick,  watching  as  it  lands  on  left  hand  blue.  such  a  move  only  brings  them  CLOSER,  so  he  approaches  it  slowly.  with  his  right  hand  on  yellow  and  his  left  on  blue,  he's  now  a  mere  inches  from  her  face.  he  takes  the  opportunity  to  lean  in  even  more,  so  close  that  their  noses  are  almost  touching.  “dangerous  for  me,  or  for  you  ?”

[mconwrites]

you're my best friend. it's a phrase he'll never tire of hearing even if it doesn't need to be said. and yet, each time it is, he's reminded of his parents. the way they always tell stories about how they were best friends first, and how their friendship bloomed into something much more so effortlessly. he'd be lying to himself if he said he'd NEVER WONDERED if the same thing could exist here, between them. river cannot imagine anyone else coming into his life and having the same impact. he can't imagine waking up, thinking of someone else before he thinks of her. she's the start of every morning, even when they're not in the same state, or even the same country. she's the end of each night, too. lips part, as if he's finally about to find the courage to speak such a thing aloud, but the words get trapped at the back of his throat. instead he smiles, nods, watches with complete adoration as she goes to collect some plates. curses himself in his mind ( still with the same politeness he'd extend anyone else ) and clears his throat, quickly pulls himself together. " i'll cut it, " adds, quick to his feet to keep himself busy, goes to find his cake-cutting knife before returning. " big slice or small slice ? " river questions, glint in his eye. as much as he'd love a bigger piece, too much sugar often makes him feel a little sickly. his family often like to joke that it's because he has too much sweetness in him already, a fact that may very well be true. " i hope you know as soon as it hits midnight and is no longer my birthday, operation ' make kamala's birthday THE BEST one yet ' begins, " he teases, looks at her like she holds the sun in her hands. a pause, a moment to ponder. isn't sure what possesses him to say it, but he does. " these surprises would be much easier if we lived together, don't you think ? sometimes it feels silly to be paying two separate loads of rent, i don't know why i never suggested the idea when i first moved here. "

[postergrl]

THEY'RE  BEST  FRIENDS.  that's  what  kamala  tells  herself  when  she  feels  things  with  river  that  she  doesn't  feel  with  anyone  else.  it's  not  for  any  other  reason,  simply  because  they  had  a  decade  of  history  behind  them.  despite  the  fact  that  they  could  talk  about  anything,  it  felt  easier  to  place  these  feelings  under  the  best  friend  label.  so,  she's  quick  to  break  the  strong  eye  contact  they've  got  to  stand  and  retrieve  the  plates,  and  it  seems  he  isn't  far  behind  her.  perhaps  he's  just  too  kind  to  look  away  first  ?  “hm…  maybe  a  medium  piece  ?  is  that  a  choice  ?  or,  we  get  one  big  piece  and  split  it  between  the  two  of  us.  don't  worry,  i  can  eat  most  of  the  icing  and  leave  you  more  cake.”  that  alone  should  be  very  telling--  the  way  one  of  her  first  thoughts  is  to  share  with  river.  at  this  point,  they  shared  almost  everything.  food  and  drinks  (  at  any  point,  kamala  felt  one  hundred  percent  comfortable  to  take  a  sip  from  river's  cup  or  a  bite  from  his  plate  ),  money  (  a  frequent  race  to  see  who  could  pull  their  wallets  out  first  ),  and  even  clothes  (  well…  mostly  kamala  was  borrowing  his  clothes  ).  still,  she  tells  herself:  it's  just  what  best  friends  do.

“barely  nine  hours  into  your  birthday,  and  you're  already  thinking  about  MINE  ?”  she  laughs.  “with  four  months  of  planning,  i'll  have  high  expectations,”  she  warns  him,  despite  knowing  she'd  be  happy  with  absolutely  anything  he  does  simply  because  it's  him.  she's  about  to  go  back  on  her  joke,  but  his  next  words  hit  her  by  surprise.  so  much  so  that  she  needs  to  actually  think.  “river  johnson,  are  you  asking  me  to  MOVE  IN  ?”  it's  all  she  can  manage,  because  it  actually  requires  zero  thought  on  her  part.  he's  right  about  the  money.  it  would  save  them  a  ton  if  they  shared  a  space.  and,  logically,  it  did  make  sense.  they  were  always  at  each  others  apartments  anyway.  still,  kamala  gets  this  wary  feeling  in  the  back  of  her  mind.  they  were  pretty  much  always  together,  this  much  was  true,  but  the  option  to  be  apart  was  always  there.  what  if  they  move  in  and  he  finally  hits  his  kamala  limit  ?  it's  a  lot  harder  to  get  the  space  you  need  when  the  person  you  need  it  from  is  just  one  room  over.  plus,  river  is  much  to  nice  to  ask  for  the  space  himself.  if  anything,  he'd  let  her  annoy  him  over  and  over  again  until  it  all  became  too  much  for  him.  she'd  heard  many  horror  stories  about  how  living  together  RUINED  friendships.  but  this  was  river.  the  two  were  unbreakable…  right  ?  “promise  you  won't  get  sick  of  me  ?”

[mconwrites]

she's had compliments from him before, many of them, and yet this time around her breath hitches in her throat. there's a melodic laugh, a slight sniffle, a familiar spark behind her gaze. addison has never been the type to second guess herself, always so sure of what she wants, what move she should make. her HEART KNOWS it, that it's him, but she's afraid to hurt him any further. knows she should refrain from getting too close, but oh it feels so right when she is. " you're definitely a little biased, " she retorts, tone light, as she allows her hand to drift up, settled upon his chest. " you're also completely right. but you missed out pretty, " words tease, kind of — there's some part of her that most definitely wants to hear him say it. a faux dreamy sigh as she bats her lashes, but it isn't too long before she pulls herself back. " thank you. and i don't mean just for the compliments — for all of it. for stickin' around, " a slight pause, glossy lips pulling into a tender smile, " i hope you know how much i appriciate it, " accent sounds thicker with SINCERITY, " you're one of a kind, rhys henderson, and i count myself damn lucky to know you. " to have loved him, to know part of her always will. " but i'm freezin', " she laughs, drifts away a mere step, maybe two, only to rub her arms. " do you think i could borrow a sweater ? "

[postergrl]

rhys  can't  help  but  laugh.  addison  had  always  been  more  showy  of  the  two,  and  also  the  more  confident.  not  that  rhys  wasn't,  he  was  just…  COMFORTABLE  in  his  beliefs  and  who  he  was.  which  is  why  he  finds  it  so  funny  she's  fishing  for  the  one  thing  he  didn't  say.  “i  said  PRETTY  great,  didn't  i  ?”  he  nudges  her  gently,  trying  his  best  to  keep  this  conversation  light.  he'd  always  be  there  for  addison,  that  much  was  true.  and,  yes,  it  was  easy  for  him  to  fall  back  into  this  with  her.  but,  he  can't  help  but  wonder  why  she  showed  up  a  his  door  and  not  anyone  else's.  unfortunately,  his  need  for  familiarity  beats  his  need  for  answers,  and  it  takes  almost  no  time  for  him  to  take  the  hand  on  his  chest  and  hold  it  in  his  own.  “i  thought  you'd  know  me  better  than  that…  i'd  never  say  pretty…  i'd  say  STUNNING…  intoxicating,  maybe…”  perhaps  he  shouldn't  say  it,  but  he'd  never  held  back  when  it  came  to  addison.  “but  never  just  pretty.”  rhys  wraps  his  arms  around  her  and  pulls  her  in  for  another  hug,  placing  a  kiss  on  the  top  of  her  head.  “well,  you  came  to  my  apartment,  so  it's  not  like  i  really  had  anywhere  else  to  go,”  he  teases  before  offering  her  a  true  smile.  "i'm  here  any  time  you  need  me…  in  my  cold  apartment.  my  jumper's  are  in  the  second  drawer  of  my  dresser.  you  go  and  grab  one  and  i'll  prepare  your  tea.

[mconwrites]

the last few weeks have been rough  — uprooted from the life he had built, no choice but to go back to the hometown he'd chosen to leave behind well over a decade ago. of course ace would do anything for his grandfather, spend however long it took to get him feeling healthy again, no complaints. but still, it never once stopped him from missing home. MISSING HER. the moment he hears her squeal, his eyes light up, and he's turning fast to easily spot her in the distance. the smile on his face aches cheeks, displays such clear, unshakable adoration. " PRETTY GIRL, " he echoes, laughter flowing as he catches her in his arms, squeezes her just as tight. it's instantaneous, the way a weight seems to shift off his shoulders, the way here presence alone puts his soul at ease. pretends to ponder as he pulls back to look at her, hands carefully cupping her cheeks as his eyes soak in the sight of her. " i'm hoping it's a little bit of both, honestly, " he teases, smile pressed to her forehead in the form of a kiss. " god, i've missed you. life is hell without you, THEODORA HERRERA. still don't know how i've survived this last few weeks, honestly. i need my teddy boost, so that means you're stuck with me, morning to night, for the entire time you're here. i don't make the rules, " hands raise in mock defence, " it's what the universe wants. "

[postergrl]

LIFE  MAKES  SENSE  AGAIN.  it  always  had  with  ace,  and  she  can  feel  it  the  second  they  embrace.  life  had  been  fine  without  him,  but  just  that.  fine,  boring,  monotonous.  she'd  had  her  other  friends,  and  she  tried  to  fill  her  free  time  with  them.  but,  between  their  own  jobs  and  other  friends,  they  hadn't  been  able  to  fill  the  ace-sized  hole  in  her  heart.  nobody  understood  her  quite  like  he  did--  always  willing  to  let  her  just  SPEAK,  even  if  it  was  pure  nonsense.  nobody  was  as  willing  to  try  anything  new  with  her.  nobody  was  as  kind  as  he  was.  perhaps  that  wasn't  fully  true,  but  the  way  her  heart  skips  a  beat  with  just  two  words  tells  her  it  was.  “we  can  definitely  say  it  was  both,”  theodora  says  softly,  a  blush  creeping  into  her  cheeks  as  his  lips  meet  her  forehead.  “i've  missed  you  too,  and  probably  more,  but  i'm  glad  you  were  the  first  to  say  it.”  the  two  of  them  were  never  the  ones  to  play  it  cool,  which  was  another  reason  she  found  herself  so  fond  of  him.  someone  as  amazing  (  and  handsome  )  as  he  could've  decided  he  was  above  her,  but  he  never  did.  in  fact,  he'd  always  made  her  feel  like  an  important  part  of  his  life.  “STUCK  WITH  YOU  ?  oh  no,  that  sounds  horrible,"  she  tells  him  with  a  shake  of  her  head,  a  smile  threatening  to  ruin  her  disappointed  face.  she  can't  even  pretend  that  doesn't  sound  perfect  to  her.  she'd  missed  their  movie  nights  (  where  they  talk  through  the  whole  movie  ),  their  sleepovers  where  he's  very  insistent  to  sleep  on  opposite  ends  of  the  bed  (  just  to  wake  up  in  each  others  arms  ),  and  their  gossip  sessions.  she  had  so  much  to  catch  him  up  on.  “i  came  all  this  way  for  just  that  !  i'm  kind  of  hoping  there's  a  blizzard  and  i'm  stuck  here  even  longer."  she  gasps.  "does  it  snow  here  ?!  that  would  be  so  fun.”

[mconwrites]

( @postergrl )

with their son, dominic, finally settled for the evening, camden finds himself sinking into safiyah's sofa, exhausted sigh emitting. he should head home, he knows it, but there's a level of comfort here. part of him that always desires to stay, simply be around her. family aside, she's the only other person he's ever felt truly knows him. " so, uh, with the holidays coming up, we should probably get some kind of plan in place, huh ? " he's hoping they can all be together. despite the fact most big holidays had always been a stressful time for him growing up, he wants things to be different for his son. wants them to be a positive time, joyful. " unless you have plans already, in that case i can just try and work something out around them. "

[postergrl]

it's  almost  instinctual,  the  way  she  moves  her  feet  long  enough  for  him  to  sit  before  plopping  them  back  on  top  of  his  lap  before  he's  even  settled  in.  “PLAN  ?”  it  was  still  so  odd  to  safiyah,  operating  as  two  separate  households.  not  that  they  were  any  good  at  it.  the  couch  they  were  sitting  on  could  basically  be  considered  camden's  bed  with  how  many  nights  he'd  spent  on  it.  and,  despite  being  the  one  with  the  degree  and  salaried  job,  camden  had  always  been  the  more  adult  one  between  the  two  of  them.  which  is  definitely  why  he's  the  one  initiating  the  conversation.  “all  i  know  is  my  dad  is  coming  for  christmas,  which  means  i'll  need  your  help  setting  up  dom's  room  for  an  actual  grown-up.  other  than  that,  the  two  of  us  are  pretty  open."  she  lightly  taps  her  forehead  with  her  pointer  finger,  trying  to  see  if  there  was  anything  she  forgot.  “you  should  come,  though.  for  christmas,  i  mean.  my  dad  misses  you,  even  if  he  won't  say  it,”  she  tells  him  with  a  small  chuckle.  “always  asks  about  you.”  which  was  funny,  considering  he  was  not  camden's  biggest  fan  when  they  first  met.  funny  how  a  decade  could  change  things.

[mconwrites]

“ the good girl next door, ” she repeats, tone laced with a familiar dose of mock amusement. a wry smile tugs at the corners of her lips, but there’s something sharper behind it, something a little harder to ignore. mouth so close to her ear it almost threatens to derail her thoughts, but she clings on. " i don't think there is such a thing, but for arguments sake if there was, that would require me to be what ? sweet, pure . . . uncomplicated. sounds pretty boring to me. so, no. definitely not that type. " there's a quiet slip of a genuine laugh, a sound so rarely heard. " right, kyro. how could i forget about your very own motivational speaker ? " luna teases, overly aware of the fact he seems to be avoiding her gaze. she tells herself she shouldn't point it out, because that would means she's paying attention, right ? but the urge is there. and she's too upfront to keep it in. " did he also tell you you'd turn to stone if you looked me in the eye, or is that a sudden conclusion you've come to yourself ? " attempts to make it a casual, teasing joke as she spins, one hand moving further up the mat, a distance between them still remains, very slowly decreasing. " see, i usually prefer to play dirty, but if you want fair, we can play fair. "

[postergrl]

“sweet,  pure,  uncomplicated,”  he  repeats,  letting  the  words  linger  in  the  air.  words  absolutely  NOBODY  was  using  to  describe  luna  (  or  achilles,  for  that  matter  ).  “yeah,  those  are  usually  the  traits  of  the  girl  next  door…”  he'd  actually  met  many  throughout  the  years.  an  extra  curricular  such  as  ballet  was  meant  to  lure  in  a  few  of  them.  and  they  almost  always  were  just  that.  SWEET  as  sugar,  telling  everyone  good  morning  and  goodnight.  PURE,  because  every  picture  perfect  dancer  was.  UNCOMPLICATED,  because  they  always  knew  what  they  wanted.  it  was  true  that  she  wasn't  this  type.  but  he  wouldn't  want  her  to  be.  “definitely  not.”

achilles  can't  help  the  way  his  eyebrows  raise  when  she  laughs.  it's  not  a  sound  he  hears  often  (  ever  ?  ),  and  he  almost  can't  believe  he  made  it  happen  (  almost…  he  definitely  believes  he's  funny  enough  to  make  it  happen  ).  “my  motivational  speaker  and  brother  all  wrapped  up  in  one…  it  just  sounds  like  you're  jealous  you  don't  have  one,”  he  teases.  it's  clear  she  has  no  problem  teasing  back,  and  it  doesn't  take  long  for  him  to  meet  her  gaze  after  she  does  so.  “sorry,  just  trying  to  FOCUS  on  the  game  at  hand…  is  that  alright  with  you  ?”  not  used  to  asking  for  permission,  especially  from  luna,  the  words  feel  odd  leaving  his  mouth.  “dirty,  huh  ?  that  doesn't  surprise  me,"  he  tells  her,  a  subtle  glance  between  her  eyes  and  her  lips.  achilles  knows  how  to  play  this  game.  "we  can  play  however  you  want.”

[mconwrites]

" i think you might be right, " river softly chuckles in response. in fact, he half thinks he would willingly give to anyone, even someone attempting to rob him. truly believes most possessions are replaceable, that the true wealth in his life are the people he gets to spend it with. his parents, his siblings. kamala. the feel of her hands taking hold of his provides a warmth he's become family with, the words she speaks soon creating a flutter inside of his chest. i'm the lucky one, he thinks. can picture the smile that's burned into his mind. river sits obediently on the couch, his lips pulling into a small smile at kamala's instructions. the warmth in her voice and the excited energy in her movements fill the room, making it impossible for him not to smile wider. " no peaking, i swear, " playfully crosses his heart. when he's given the green light, he opens his eyes, blinking once to adjust before taking in the scene in front of him. " kamala, " he whispers, blown away. his grin forming into something tender as his gaze moves to hers and doesn't leave. " you really went all out, didn't you ? " river isn't sure what he's done in life to deserve her, but whatever it is, he's eternally grateful. " you really didn't have to, " he insists, reaching out for her hand, gives it a gentle squeeze before caressing her knuckles with his thumb. " you being here is more than enough. " a quick glance back to the table before his focus is back on her once again. " okay, the cake does look really good though. shall we have some ? "

[postergrl]

perhaps  it's  a  good  thing  the  two  of  them  are  homebodies.  gives  less  opportunity  for  them  to  be  the  victims  of  a  random  street  robbery,  where  each  would  offer  more  than  the  burglar  was  asking  for.  not  that  either  of  them  really  had  anything  worth  stealing.  another  plus  for  them,  it  seemed.  they  were  barely  getting  by.  but  they  were  doing  it  TOGETHER.  together,  the  two  of  them  could  face  anything.  even  a  burglar  (  even  if  they  were  still  the  easiest  targets  ever  ).

kamala  stands  eagerly,  studying  his  face  for  its  next  reaction.  her  smile  only  grows  with  his,  feeling  quite  pleased  with  herself.  her  next  move  is  to  place  the  cake  on  the  table,  scared  she'll  drop  it  if  she  holds  it  too  long.  it's  nothing  super  special,  but  it's  a  cute  cake  that  has  the  classic  HAPPY  BIRTHDAY  RIVER  !  written  across  the  top.  she  sits  herself  on  her  knees  next  to  the  table,  softening  as  he  takes  her  hand.  tries  to  ignore  the  way  her  cheeks  warm  up  as  he  looks  at  her.  the  way  she  doesn't  want  to  let  his  hand  go.  kamala  shakes  her  head  listening  to  his  words.  “of  course  i  had  to  !  there's  no  one  more  deserving  than  you.”  and  she  means  that.  who  would  she  be  without  river  johnson  in  her  life  ?  likely  still  a  solo  skater,  likely  even  less  friends  than  she  had  now.  river's  impact  on  her  life  was  undeniable,  to  the  point  where  she'd  feel  empty  without  him.  hell,  they  lived  apart  for  just  a  few  months  and  found  that  time  unbearable.  “you're  my  best  friend.”  a  fact--  one  they're  both  MORE  than  aware  of  at  this  point.  their  eyes  say  more  than  their  words  ever  could.  “we  definitely  should.  let  me  get  some  plates  !”

[postergrl]

( @mconwrites )

theodora  herrera  had  never  been  one  to  conceal  her  emotions--  she  had  no  poker  face,  but  she'd  never  considered  a  bad  thing.  she  was  also  rarely  ASHAMED  of  anything.  so,  it's  nothing  to  her  when  a  squeal  leaves  her  mouth  and  she  bursts  into  a  full  sprint,  running  towards  the  man  who  made  life  MAKE  SENSE.  her  eagerness  has  her  practically  leaping  into  his  arms,  wrapping  hers  completely  around  him  and  giving  him  a  squeeze.  “ACE  MILLER,  have  you  gotten  more  handsome,  or  has  distance  just  made  my  heart  grow  fonder  ?”