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| Jet | 22 | PH | life's randomness and all its tiny shitty moments IG: _jetramos

[potatowedjets]

It's disappointing when people expects you to always give them what they cannot give you.

[potatowedjets]

I guess the worst part is that I knew this was gonna happen. This is what I was afraid of. That someday, you'll find someone else to replace me. Someday, someone else will hold your hand. Someone else will give you hugs and kisses. Someday, someone will take my place by your side. And yes, it hurts a lot. And I guess the saddest thing is that I cannot do anything. Because we were never...

[potatowedjets]

Its weird, you know? How you can forget what someone looks like. How they smell. The sound of their voice. The way they laugh. Their mannerisms. How their face changes from being happy to being sad. Its weird how we can forget someone. We have traces and ideas of what they are. But we can no longer piece them together. To complete the puzzle kn your head. And that makes me sad.

[potatowedjets]

tangina nung taong ang OA pag may problema sya tapos ikaw todo comfort naman pero pag ikaw may problema 'seen' amputa.

[uptional]

[potatowedjets]

i need this here

[potatowedjets]

seriously, i need more people to talk to.

[potatowedjets]

just fucking tell me if i have a chance...

[potatowedjets]

nights when you need someone to cuddle with...

[potatowedjets]

I don't know how to say this the right way pero tangina mo...

[potatowedjets]

The worst thing I guess is that I am now left with no definition of what I am. I don’t know who I am supposed to be or what I should be. I’m always in this constant state of waiting for shit to happen. Banking my time, effort and everything to something I’m not really sure of. I lost myself, I guess. In this amazing journey of finding you, I lost who I am. I lost my dreams, my desires, my cravings. I guess I gave my all to something that turned out to be worthless. Hah It’s not like this is the first time that this happened. This isn’t fun anymore. At least not for me…

[potatowedjets]

You know why I’m starting to hate caring for other people? Its because it never gets reciprocated. Ever. Its not like I’m asking you to care for me the same way that I’m caring for you. No. Its not like that. All I want is for you to show that at least you appreciate the effort. You appreciate me staying up until God knows what time just to keep you company. To see that whenever you’re down, I was there. For you to at least give a tiny bit of fuck. But no. Whatever it was that i’ve done, you disregard that as some simple ‘friend’ gesture. Well, I’m tired of that now. I’m tired of making someone feel valued. I’m tired of being there. I’m tired of being part of your life just because I’m conveniently here. Fuck off.

[potatowedjets]

You have to understand that i'm falling for you. Even when you don't want me to. You can't stop me. I can't stop myself. Even if you try to put as much distance from me as you can, it won't lessen my affection. I'm sorry. I already love you.

[potatowedjets]

i love how things are right now. let's not complicate it.

[potatowedjets]

...at least when i'm gone, you can't hurt me anymore.

[potatowedjets]

Maybe I didn't tell you because I already know what you're going to say. I didn't tell you because I know what will happen next. I didn't tell you because I know it would just hurt me. I didn't tell you because I know you've made up your mind. Maybe I didn't tell you because I'm afraid. I guess that's it. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I know it'll never happen. I'm afraid because I know that nothing can be done. Because I'm me. And you're you. And whatever happens, we can never be together. Maybe I didn't tell you because of us. Because I don't want to lose that little part of what remains of us. I didn't tell you because I don't want to lose you.

[potatowedjets]

I'm okay. If 'okay' means being sad and lonely every night. If 'okay' means eating alone. If 'okay' means you can't sleep at night thinking of what might happen in the future. If 'okay' is trying to be happy doing simple things because you don't have anyone to do cool things with. If 'okay' is staring at the ceiling waiting for it to just crash at you. If 'okay' means accepting the fact that I'm not for you. If 'okay' means not wanting to get out of bed because you know what's waiting ahead. If 'okay' means looking for things you know you wouldn't find. If 'okay' means waiting for someone to come back even though you know they won't. Yes. Maybe. I'm 'okay.'

[potatowedjets]

The thing is, I love you. I really do. That's what I've always wanted to tell you. That's also what I've been wanting to hear from you. But you don't. And I won't ever hear those three little words. And I just have to look happy here and be happy that you finally have someone even though I want to be that someone who makes you happy.