Drowning in a Sea of Make Believe and Fairy Tales

Main blog, but it's mostly Disney. Call me Shark. I'm a siren who has sung herself into despair. I'm also a bit of a loner and terribly bad at this thing called "talking to people". I apologise beforehand for my inability to friends. This blog might host my collection of very stupid writing. I apologise for all the gross that may come out of this blog. I will also spam the living daylights out of Disney. I'm not sorry. Prepare for Hetalia, tendershipping, and Zexal as well. Pattern for the background found here. Sidebar image found here.

[potsyelooy-blog]

I'm writing this post just to say goodbye. It'll be in my queue... idk when it'll post, but I'll be gone before it posts. I've accumulated enough posts in my queue to know I'll be gone before this post makes it to anyone's dash.

Thanks for the laughs, everyone and Tumblr. Thanks for the smiles and fun times. Thanks for the bullshit and lies. Thanks for helping me grow up and for destroying me. Thanks for distracting me until 2 in the morning and for slowly eating away at my insides. Thanks for giving me a life when I needed one. And thanks for killing me, too.

Sometimes, I wish I had never left Livejournal. Tumblr has always been the bane of my existence. But without it, I wouldn't have softened and learned to reach out. I was a bit of an arse when I was on LJ haha. But Tumblr softened me and moulded me into a kinder person. I'm glad it did. I'm glad I changed. 

But old habits die hard. I don't care enough about anything anymore. It's time I take my leave for good. I've said my goodbyes and farewells. I've sent the last of my letters out. I've sung my last song. 

Someone once told me she would miss my voice and my stories when I disappeared. I hope you miss them. I hope someone misses me. I hope someone misses the silly songs I'd sing and the crappy drabbles I'd write. I hope someone does notice I'm gone. I'm selfish, aren't I? But I hope someone notices my absence and misses me. Who knows. Maybe in another lifetime, I'll be a better friend and stick around longer. 

But if I'm lucky, I'll be a dictator. Oh what fun would that be!

I hope everyone lives a happy life. Even those of you who hurt me (and boy did some of you hurt me haha)--I hope you smile and find happiness. I know I was never a good friend or person to many of you, but without my presence, I'm sure you will all be happier. If you ever see a sunflower, think about me, and I'll send you a smile.

Maybe I'll see you around in my next life, Tumblr. I hope I don't. 

(Thursday, 23 October 2014)

[w0ahcam]

it’s sad when you realize you aren’t as important to someone as you thought you were.

[potsyelooy-blog]

do you ever casually say “i ship it” in a real life conversation then get strange looks from people who have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about because you forget it’s not part of normal people’s vocabulary

[bibliophilebunny]

“Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break anyway.”

Kiera Cass, The One

[blackbruise-deactivated20200925]

do you ever wonder if anyone reads your blog like everyday just to check on you 

[geodweeb]

"this show is so dumb" I say as I finish the sixth season and swiftly move on to the seventh

[unkissed]

Hélas

To drift with every passion till my soul Is a stringed lute on which all winds can play, Is it for this that I have given away Mine ancient wisdom, and austere control? Methinks my life is a twice-written scroll Scrawled over on some boyish holiday With idle songs for pipe and virelay, Which do but mar the secret of the whole. Surely there was a time I might have trod The sunlit heights, and from life's dissonance Struck one clear chord to reach the ears of God. Is that time dead? lo! with a little rod I did but touch the honey of romance— And must I lose a soul's inheritance?

[kitsuunix]

Source

[roachpatrol]

Could you explain the whole "i don’t really have depression, i’m actually just a lazy piece of shit" = you've got depression, thing? It rang a bell for me and I'd like to know what you meant. Thanks :)

one of the most insidious things about depression is it doesn’t ‘feel’ like depression. even when you have it, you know you have it, you’ve been diagnosed—you still find yourself thinking, no, nope, this isn’t it, can’t be. it’s like the mental illness equivalent of that knight in monty python that keeps going ‘it’s a flesh wound! i’m fine, really! this is just a scratch, i’ll be up in a moment!’ even after all his limbs have been hacked off and he’s lying there helpless.

one of the most common narratives around it is that no one realizes they have depression until they start checking off what they consider to be normal aspects of their lives—and personal character flaws— against the checklist for depression symptoms. really key symptoms include:

lack of motivation

constant tiredness, even exhaustion

finding no pleasure or satisfaction in activities they used to like, or that they know should feel good

not seeing the point of doing anything

increased and even unmanageable anxiety and fearfulness

any one of these symptoms drains away your ability to do work, cope with setbacks, overcome difficulties, or stop procrastinating. multiple symptoms create a pretty perfect storm of intertia and anxious self-loathing. you stop doing anything because it’s hard to get going, unpleasant while you’re at it, and afterwards there’s no reward. why bother, right? and when you’re always tired you get conservative of what little energy you can manage, and when you only feel emotions on the ‘empty to miserable’ spectrum you get really aversive to making mistakes. the whole mess very quickly and very insidiously loads every single thing in your life with toxic emotional baggage.   

and then someone says to you— or you say to yourself, ‘stop being lazy’. and that haunts you forever. because you’re lazy! the work is so easy. everyone else does it. everyone but you, you lazy asshole, lying around all day not doing this totally easy thing that you should be able to but aren’t. you don’t have depression! of course not. mental illness is for victims, is for blameless innocent people who can’t be blamed for being so understandably sick. but you can be blamed. you have a character flaw, and it’s getting worse by the minute. 

and that is how people who have been diagnosed, who have been medicated, who have been through therapy, can still spend all day hiding in bed and chewing themselves up over their failure to just somehow magically be a good, healthy, useful person, instead of treating themselves to a sick day and saying ‘yup! it’s depression. i need to be kind to myself.’

[ewrewrewrew-deactivated20190930]

I’m just a needy piece of shit that needs constant reassurance that I’m wanted

[furyokus]

"Squatting beneath the cherry blossoms next to the words lined up Within a breeze that still had just a tinge of cold You took off without waiting for spring to come, and as if it were pushing you from behind The cold melted into a gentle warm sunlight The memories always kept back somewhere at an awkward distance Waiting for our return”

きっと忘れない I’ll Never Forget (Haruka x Rin duet) 

[maxkirin]

Writing is the light of imagination playing over shadow of thoughts.

Khaled Talib (via maxkirin)

[maxkirin]

Writing is the light of imagination playing over shadow of thoughts.

Khaled Talib (via maxkirin)

[sasuk-egg-deactivated20200610]

I’m someone who’s mostly dead inside but still has a little hope for something extraordinary, which, as I said, is the worst breed of human, because it means I know everything is bullshit, but that I secretly hope for the day when it might not be.

Nick Miller (via bodv)

[rio-kastle-moved-deactivated201]

[leepacey]

[theredmatinee]

There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.

Oscar Wilde - The Picture of Dorian Gray (via theredmatinee)