Terrible jokes aside though, I believe this post is much long overdue and even chapter 64 is within our midst (IM SO EXCITED HOW DID DOUMEKI AND YASHIRO END UP LIKE THAT?!). For those confused, I refuse to receive any spoilers unless the manga is done, so no I have not read the summary. Anyways, I'm planning to make this post a trilogy, since I can't bother myself to examine all of Doumeki in just 1 go, its really hard with all the differing opinions.
Be warned spoilers ahead for the pre-timeskip manga of Saezuru in general
Credits to @samxmanga for inspiring me to make this post and even asking how I was doing while doing so! This is their original post, and I'll be taking points from @tamcicro comment and really just giving my personal view in answering the question...
Who should be the one to blame?
This post is more on why neither Doumeki or Yashiro should be blamed, but mostly focusing on Doumeki here and really how he had to deal with his own sets of trauma too. I'm not saying its comparably worst nor better compared to Yashiro, but I'm neither saying that trauma should ever be measured. It affects everyone differently. However, time and time again, I've seen Doumeki being blamed for 'possessiveness' and well questioned for it as well. I've seen him also being 'blamed' for not caring as much on Yashiro's feeling. (Not to mention chapter 23,24, and 25 can be as debatable as we want it to be)
So let's just start with the root of it all really.
1.What trauma has Doumeki faced?
Yakuza stuff aside, let's take a look back at pre-main story. I chose this one as a first point due to the title being called pre-timeskip for a good reason.
Ok I know I said, yakuza stuff aside. But we have got to show his face from chapter 1. I'm no artist, and Sensei herself says she finds it difficult to draw emotions. But I think she conveyed something in Doumeki that I didn't see reading the manga/anime for the first time. Doumeki looks rather solemn/distant no? In the manga especially, we see his eyes glow more when he feels something, when he well, won't you say...look at Yashiro?
His eyes (or well the white parts - pupils, glow stuff??) are moving. Now this might have been just to set the mood (he's looking at Yashiro laugh), but I really think he felt something here. But what does this mean?
Watching the movie for the first time, I couldn't help but relate to how Doumeki was acting. He looked like he was moving through the motions, until well he met Yashiro. Doumeki had this emotionless expression from the start, and while we don't get much from his childhood, we knew he was known to be 'strong' from the very start.
Now I'm no professional, but I think we all know how it feels to not be treated like you're a child anymore. And well, who knows how 'early on' that could've been for Doumeki? It also mentions Doumeki's parents 'weren't the doting type', that would mean they didn't really pay attention to him. Which is quite correct, or else what he saw and consequently did, may have not happened really. The point was, while Yashiro didn't grow up in a normal home, neither did Doumeki really either.
Even he goes to mention, Kendo practice was his only remembrance of feeling free. Was he confined at home? Did he feel that unwanted? It scares me that unlike how clear Yashiro's trauma was, Doumeki was only shown a panel or two š
Of course we could go on to the main trauma. Unlike the earlier one's, he mentions this explicitly to Yashiro, so it's likely the one to have hurt him the most.
I knew something was familiar between Aoi and Yashiro, but I didn't really realize how familiar. However, I think most fans of this fandom probably know what I'm going on about here so I'm going to make you save this image in your heads.
Doumeki was always known to be 'strong', someone not really pitied. Yashiro had a similar thing, yet he was pitied. He didn't want to be pitied. Doumeki was known to to remain calm and quiet, but at this moment...he snapped. And something about the Inami speech we get later on, kind of made my heart break a bit.
Doumeki looks devastated here, so much so he's not even bothering to move. He's THAT affected. In my opinion, what had happened spread around the police force, and so not only did he stay in prison for 4 years enduring his cellmates advances, but also the people he once were teammates of, talking bad about him when what he had done was a completely valid reaction. Yet, he snapped, and I think that made him realized he isn't all that strong, he couldn't protect his sister. He couldn't protect Yashiro. All these showings that he wasn't strong enough, I can't help but think he was affected by that.
That Inami speech made me hate him, but not just about how inconsiderate he was to Doumeki's feelings of the incident, but that he didn't pity him either. And that made me realize how important Yashiro was to Doumeki, because for him...
He listened. Sure, it seemed Yashiro teased Doumeki about it, but he addressed the main issue: his regret in not killing his father. Yashiro didn't say he was in the wrong, just like Inami did. He didn't say Doumeki was a lunatic for punching his father to a pulp. No, he didn't. Unlike everyone, instead of Doumeki having to bear the need to protect them, Yashiro was willing to protect him. Yashiro was willing to make sure, that he was safe. Was it at this moment he wanted to protect Yashiro even more? Have his 'overprotective' attitude? Well, before that I wanted to answer a very long ago question...
2. Was the s*x in Ch.25 consensual?
I think I can't stress enough how much I loved reading the responses on this post.
However, as someone who doesn't really speak about explicit content, I think at the end of the day, it's really everyone's interpretation. Personally, I do think it wasn't consensual in the sort of sense that Doumeki should've asked to keep doing what he was doing the entire time. However, at the end, is it wrong to say Yashiro didn't make him think he wanted this?
Doumeki before Yashiro asks him if he can do s*x with him, is outright trying to hope Yashiro didn't want to do it with him now that he's hard. We all know Doumeki's feelings when this happens, he doesn't want to be thrown out, he doesn't want to act like his father etc.
The cover for chapter 23 even says 'Even though all I want is to love him, it will only hurt him'. I don't think Doumeki knows Yashiro's past in this image, I mean why isn't he looking at him? He's looking forward at his own perspective, and how doing it with Yashiro could turn everything for the worst (and well that's really also based on everyone's perspective).
He outright rejects him, but Yashiro keeps on going, even laughing at him. Yet, Yashiro does explain what he thinks of s*x, explaining that 'its just s*x right?'. Doumeki is surprised at this, he does take note of this, but I believe in a different way. You see, while we as a fandom might have thought this line meant that Yashiro doesn't think of s*x as a intimate part of a relationship where you build your trust on that person, I think Doumeki took this line as the fact that Yashiro only wanted to do it with him before casting him aside. They were discussing how Doumeki should quit the Yakuza before this after all (even though not explicitly Yashiro was saying to not move out of his house - thank goodness it comes in handy)
After all, Yashiro says that he never lays a hand on his subordinate, Doumeki might have taken this fact that Yashiro would never go further with a subordinate of his, and realizes he will be cast aside so that he isn't his subordinate anymore.
This might all sound that he is only looking at his perspective of the story, but watch that after Yashiro walks away...
He doesn't bother to get up. He doesn't chase him. He knows Yashiro is injured yet doesn't help him taking off his clothes to get to the shower. Now that may sound selfish, but think of it this way. Doumeki doesn't understand Yashiro, he had to go to the extent to understand that Yashiro was lovesick by finding contact lenses. He had to go to extent to even keeping it to ask about it when Yashiro wanted to. He doesn't even know that even a direct invitation by Yashiro, is a real one or not. If he really was like every of his partners, why didn't he just kiss him right then there? Defile him when he clearly said so?
That's because Doumeki knew him. In a way that he knew Yashiro wasn't being sincere, that he knew Yashiro only wanted to do it with him, and not love him. Unlike all of Yashiro's partners, Doumeki didn't think s*x was supposed to hurt someone, was supposed to 'just be s*x'. Sure, he had cases by the nurse, and his 2 gf's. Yet, I think he changed that perspective when he met Yashiro.
Now to my favorite panel. Yashiro confesses. After this point, I was confused why Yashiro was rejecting, now I know better. Even though he confessed, he put his walls back up again. But it's too late, Doumeki saw the sincere him, the one Yashiro kept trying to hide. Can it be wrong to say that Yashiro didn't show he wanted this? All the signs were quite clear in Doumeki's perspective.
Doumeki even says this in the extra. He wouldn't act unless his boss wanted him too, and well looking at how he acts, would it not be wrong to assume as such?
I understand Yashiro here, he's overwhelmed. He kept thinking, saying stuff, acting unlike him. I don't think Doumeki wants this to happen, I think at the end he wanted to clear his mind. Help him stop thinking. And then it became gentle touches, where people start too think that Doumeki should've stopped there. Yet, I think what the original reblogger mentioned is quite true, he consented to s*x sure, yet he didn't consent to being treated kindly. 'Like this', if he really didn't want it. If he really thought this was like r***, why does he mention like this? Just say 'I don't wanna be touched', not 'I don't wanna be touched like this'.
{Gets explicit from here}
Sure, you may say it's Yashiro's kindness that relents him from comparing Doumeki to his father, but Yashiro is feeling wronged. Yet, he doesn't think Doumeki is like his father. He says 'he's wrong'. He may not like this (because he isn't used to it), but his body says otherwise. And personally, I think he also knows he wanted this.
I'm rather confused looking at this panel. Why does he say this? Doumeki has heard of this before, but why do they both say it? Yashiro also says this post timeskip, but again, why?? Is it because he didn't want Doumeki to see him weak, like how Aoi didn't want Doumeki to see her because if he did, she knows he would take that guilt in his heart forever?
For me, it's at this point I think Doumeki should've stopped. He says 'Don't touch me', it's at this point he doesn't want Doumeki at all. That he doesn't care if it's kindness or not, he feels overwhelmed and doesn't like this.
Doumeki keeps going forward, and of course Yashiro asks him to keep going. Doumeki asks if he wants this, to which he doesn't get a response. And yeah, we can all say that his mind isn't in the correct place right now so we shouldn't expect him to say anything, but can we agree that what he did, by lifting himself towards Doumeki, it would just confuse him even more? Doumeki is trying to understand, but I don't think he gets it.
It's at this point I don't think Doumeki is himself anymore. That Yashiro looks terrified not because of him saying 'sorry' but I think that Yashiro doesn't recognize him anymore. Or perhaps both, as he says 'Don't break me'.
Yashiro treats Doumeki like all his previous partners after that, and he doesn't want 'kind' Doumeki at all, even when he sprouts out seeing how hurt Yashiro is.
At the end, I can neither blame either of them. This event affected them both, and both of them knew the consequences in their own perspective. Was it consensual, was a really good question for me here, because Yashiro confused me and Doumeki too. That does goes to say, even if he did like it, that doesn't mean wants it right? Yet, his body does, oh we can see that. So at the end, I think the poll was pretty right for a almost 50/50.
3. Why does Doumeki thinks Yashiro is 'rejecting' him?
Just like @tamcicro said, Doumeki can't see what Yashiro is thinking, he can't see how much Yashiro is hurting. Yashiro, yes, tried to explain. But,
he doesn't know if it's true. He doesn't know if anything he says it's true. And we all know it's only until Nanahara explains, that he walks away. That he stops and realizes how much Yashiro had to endure. He feels like he had been rejected, that he really was just another 'body' for him, but post-timeskip shows Doumeki never gave up thinking Yashiro deep inside still likes him. Or well, he never gave up wanting to stay by his side.
And while I'm only focusing on pre-timeskip here for this one, yes post-timeskip is a bit controversial, but I'll put a bit of a spoiler of what I think for my next post. I think post-timeskip actions of Doumeki is odd. I think Doumeki wanted to reconcile with Yashiro, but with the new knowledge that Yashiro's walls have to be broken down one by one, I think he had too make sure he was 'comfortable with him'. While we all know he takes this the wrong way, Doumeki doesn't know that. And that's all for my thoughts of pre-timeskip ^^.
Yashiro has a lot to work with, and yes I can't help but agree that Doumeki should try to be more understanding. However, Yashiro has confused him so much that he only has his own understanding to based out off. And I think I can confidently said his own understanding is trying to protect him, whatever danger that might be, and I hope chapter 64 shows that, that's what he meant to do all long š¤.
