Just want to do a little 4n4 bl0g before school starts!!
At the end of last school year I was losing weight and LOCKED IN, but then during summer I let go of myself and sort of got bigger? I have like the same build as before I started fasting, but my ass got fatter which is tea asf but I do want to restart my 4n4 journey. I believe boredom is a huge cause of my binging, so hopefully with school and all my homework from AP classes I won't have time to think about snacking. I focus mainly on fasting and omad instead of working out, but I will be walking home from school this year until I get my license, so that will be a daily workout. However, im worried that the summer heat will make me pass out once I start dropping weight. Please comment: tips to not pass out, ideas for fun activities to stay busy, and your personal 4n4 goals for the school year
older!johnny x girly girl headcanons ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
(guys this is my first time writing headcanons or posting any of my work anywhere besides me and my sister’s acc i’m scared pls enjoy)
⋆.˚ he calls her by ALL kinds of sweet petnames, “babydoll”, “dolly”, “sweet pea”, “angel”. Most of the time he calls her by a sweet nickname instead of her actual name.
⋆.˚ she always dresses super cute when going out together. soft cardigans, ballet flats, glossy lips… (etc). johnny is always amused at how the two of their aesthetics contradict each other so much, as he’s usually wearing some old jeans, a band tee, and a pair of the same beat up converse he always wears. he thinks she looks like a little doll.
⋆.˚ he always feels wonderfully out of place in her room, especially when he climbs into her pink frilly sheets next to her.
⋆.˚ he keeps little emergency supplies for her in his car or in his pocket, like hair ties, an extra lip gloss, tissues, gum…
⋆.˚ she loves mornings with him because he always makes her heart shaped pancakes, just to get a smile out of her in her groggy, sleepy state.
⋆.˚ she’s always convincing him to let her “freshen him up”, whether that means plucking a few stray eyebrow hairs or letting her put a face mask on him, he’s always happy to comply and let her pamper him.
⋆.˚ every now and then, she’ll teasingly call him “old man” just to get a reaction out of him, to which he just reminds her how well he can still fuck her…
⋆.˚ at night, she curls up against his side, either scrolling through pinterest or reading something, or sometimes he’ll read to her instead. either way, he just loves to watch her get sleepy and cuddle into him further as she dozes off.
Not being able to see past all the rolls on your stomach, needing the help of others to do basic tasks, worrying that you might stop breathing during the night because you have an awful case of sleep apnea.
You can’t even roll onto your side on your own. Each move you make hurts your joints and puts strain on your body.
Every day you’re reminded of the fact that you’re trapped in a body that you have limited control over.
Always sweaty. Always uncomfortable.
Unable to go places and experience new things with friends and family. Unable to dress up in cute clothes or cosplay as your favourite character.
Excluded from activities because nobody wants to stop and wait for you to catch your breath after taking three steps.
A pathetic and sad existence.
Meaningless and hollow.
Fat and lonely.
So don’t eat today.
Starve for perfection and freedom.
Be svelte and thin and gorgeous.
Because being thin is so much better than being trapped in a prison you can never escape.
John murphy x reader in which the reader is a super sheltered engineer nerd who doesnt understand why everyone hates murphy + murphy teaching her about kissing and sex
Gulp...I'll do most of this trust! Just not the sex part lol. Sorry if that disappoints u
John Murphy x Engineer! Reader
Pronouns: Second person, gender neutral
TW: Typical the 100 shiz
- So primarily, nothing really happens in the first couple days on Earth. You're both in your own little circle, and neither of you feel the urge to interact.
- That is, until they all decide to start breaking off everyone's wrist bands.
- Considering you had objectively the most knowledge about any of it, Bellamy decided that you'd be the most useful in the situation. And who did he decide to send to talk to you?
- Murphy.
- At first, it's just a business exchange, you help him and his group shut off all the wrist bands, and he provides a slightly larger amount of protection.
- Like honestly, who's going to fuck with you when you're spending time around Murphy?
- Obviously, you didn't really understand most of the reasoning behind your help. But you did just want to help. And of course, Murphy helped place the thought that doing this helped everyone.
- Then, things ended up getting somewhat weird between the two of you.
- More conversations than necessary happened between the two of you. More kind (or as kind as Murphy could be), more just getting to know each other.
- To Murphy, it was a means to an end. Gaining your trust meant you'd be more likely to help in a situation that required your expertise. Nothing more, nothing less.
- And then everything with Wells happens.
- And Murphy is strung up, maybe minutes away from dying. And all you can do is stand there and hope that the guy you've started to trust isn't as evil as everyone is claiming.
- And then he gets exiled.
- You don't understand why, all of his actions seemed reasonable. But all you understand is that he's gone.
- You spend the next period of time lonely. You don't really talk to anyone else, and you don't see a point in it. You just help out where you can.
- Then, Murphy comes back. And he's sick, and no one thinks he's going to make it.
- So of course, you volunteer with Clarke to help take care of the sick (mainly him)
- You and him spend a lot of time together during those days. You help take care of him, and then he helps you take care of everyone else.
- All was fine, until you got sick too, and Murphy was the one taking care of you.
- It's during this that Murphy realizes something important about you. You're naive. Weak. Small.
- And he can't have that.
- After you get better, he "teaches" you.
- You both spend a lot of time together after he sticks around. Talking, learning, spending time together. But it's less of a business transaction and more of just companionship.
It was just you and Murphy. The way things felt the most right to you. You both were sitting some ways away from the rest of the kids, against some sort of oak tree. You could feel the bark biting into your back, but you didn't complain. You never did with Murphy.
"Yeah I've...I never kissed anyone." You say, a small shrug of your shoulders following your statement. It didn't seem like something majorly strange about you. You were always more focused on your studies, and your parents always taught you that it was better to be smart than in love.
It was now that you finally looked over at Murphy, and he had this indiscernible look on his face. The kind that made it hard to tell what he was thinking. And considering you had gotten far better at telling that then before, it was mildly concerning. "I just didn't have the time growing up...with studying and...then everything that happened after-"
You don't get to finish your explanation before he cuts you off. "I can teach you." He responds, point blank and soft. Like he was scared of anyone else hearing it. You blink at him a couple times. It seemed like a strange offer. But you two were friends, just friends, and it made sense that he'd teach you about this too.
You nod your head slowly, only because you don't trust your voice right now. It feels like if you tried to talk you'd most definitely just squeak. He offers a bid in acknowledgement before turning to fully face you.
"Okay so...just sit still, close your eyes, and let me take the lead." He intructs, his voice reaching its normal inflection. It sounds like he's doing nothing more than teaching you how to dance. But it's so much more.
He leans in, placing both of his hands on your cheeks, and you have no reason to not comply with his words.
Once his lips finally touch yours, you're slightly underwhelmed. You expected a kiss to be more...electric.
You're soon proven wrong.
He soon starts kissing you, more than just a peck, but a dance of love between two people. His hand tangles in your hair, and you can't help but let out a soft whine. Now this, this feels like magic. A sense of mind control spell, surely.
But he pulls away far too fast.
You sit there, dazed for a second when he says, "There. Now you know." You take a deep breath and look back over at him.
"Can...can we do that again?"
You and Murphy don't leave that area for a while.
This took two days to write because Tumblr decided to work against me.
Weird thing so far is I dont feel the effects of my fast until after I eat again? Like I'll fast for 2 days and feel fine but my stomach just hurts a bit. Then I eat and the next day I lose 5 pounds and feel lightheaded as FUCK. Is this propaganda by my body to make me eat more or do I just need to fast for longer?
Ugh I had mcdonalds last night and I just ate a whole bowl of pasta. I feel like a fat pig but the guilt isnt suffocating me. Maybeni should go step on the scale to see what ive done.
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