Look at this, just landed in my evil inbox:
'We're pleased to announce the release date for our newest ovipositor! After three years of development and testing, this newest model is more user-friendly than ever, and can reduce egg-loss to .3%.
This device can be trusted to handle rare, valuable eggs through all phases of impregnation.
Subjects start with a flat, empty belly and over the course of a few hours are pumped full until they look about 6-7 months pregnant. If no manual limit is set, the machine automatically calculates the ideal load and progresses to the next phase when it has been reached.
First, a lubed-up ovipositor softens and numbs the cervix so its 'mouth' can gradually loosen it. To avoid wasting eggs, the actual impregnation is very slow and starts with a few liters of a protective, gel-like substance before the eggs themselves are inserted in order of size.
For first timers, it may be uncomfortable as they are being stretched in a way they've never been before, belly cramping around its growing load. More experienced subjects can tolerate the first hours easily, and generally are only bothered by the biggest eggs at the end, which strain their cervix at their widest point, then plop inside their crowded womb.
The ovipositor's long, hose-like arm allows for a range of movement so subjects can squat, stand, or even walk around to relieve the discomfort.
After impregnation is complete, the ovipositor automatically withdraws, plugging the cervix on its way out.
With that last step, the process is complete, though it's recommended to closely monitor the eggs for a few hours afterwards, and most subjects will need to rest before they can be released.
Depending on your preferred setup and how well the subject is tolerating the insertion, they can either be transferred to a different room wearing a monitoring device on their belly, or they can stay in the procedure room.
Some find it comforting to be in a casual 'living room' setup with multiple subjects in different phases of impregnation, others may prefer a more traditional, clinical experience where they can go through the procedure in private and later transfer to a resting ward.
Barring any irregularities, a subject can arrive in the early morning and leave just after dinner with their succesful pregnancy. Check-ups twice monthly should be sufficient in most cases.
These days, it's common practice to let subjects carry until they go into labour naturally, by slightly under-loading their bellies, letting them grow significantly bigger after impregnation, and waiting for the body to recognise its natural limit.
This method not only yields the most viable eggs, but also leads to better outcomes for the subjects, who report greater satisfaction with their pregnancies compared to the previous practice of maximum loads and early induction.
The gestation period depends on the number and volume of eggs, plus the subject's capacity, but generally ranges from three to five months. After several pregnancies, and if the subject is particularly big and healthy, six or seven months of gestation is not unheard of.
Especially subjects with a particular enjoyment of the process are expected to carry longer, which is why we recommend including (a video of) a demonstration of the device when interviewing new candidates. As a rule, individuals who respond positively will also show the most promise during preliminary tests, and are more likely to succesfully complete their assignments.
Consult our website for more information and pricing options, as well as our full range of products including monitoring equipment and a new line of personal stimulators, intended to increase egg yields and subject satisfaction.'
