Keni
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
taylor price
will byers stan first human second
Cosimo Galluzzi
Discoholic 🪩
DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.
RMH
wallacepolsom
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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Peter Solarz
Claire Keane
JVL
dirt enthusiast
tumblr dot com
Not today Justin
$LAYYYTER
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@presspozz
Lol. Hope you’re happy doing the same thing you were doing three years ago, obsessing over some girl and abusing the drugz you stupid ass addict. Lol tried to help you, but I was just nothing to you so i peaced tf out and imdoingbetterthanieverwas
requested design: celtic cross…Â
Christmas Posts All Year! (New posts every 3 minutes!!)
this hurled my wig into the rafters as a kid
So.. wait.
You tell him about your cuts and your issues. And he just says heeeeey with a sad face. Lmao. Because he told me I was crazy. He told me that SHE was crazy and that he made her do it. But you feel comfortable enough to tell him about that kind of stuff. Did he ever tell you about me? Oh I bet. I’m the crazy one. The one who took his suicide threats seriously. The one who cared enough to call for help when he said he was going to end his life. The one who crashed his garage. The one who held him when he broke down. The one his mother hated. The one that made him dinner and brought it to him each night. The one that, and the one that, and the one that. Do you know what it’s like to actually be hated? To actually be yelled at by someone you thought cared about you? I was actually hated. Not just rumored to be a bitch because I’m quiet. Actually. Hated. By someone. And that shit hurts. Because when your goal in life is to just make it and make someone happy, to actually be hated and for what? Because I cost you money for an ambulance that took someone who expressed to me that their life was going to end from drugs and alcohol? Do you know how easy it is to overdose? And then add alcohol to the mix? Do you know how that is lethal? Because it is. You should know. She should know. She is a medical professional. And instead of driving home and ignoring the issue, I said no. He needs a hospital. He’s trying to kill himself. And I was told every time you fight you call the police. No. I think that’s when I stopped believing his suicide threats. I am a good person, and I cared. But that’s when I stopped. That night in March. When I called the police from three hours away. And I was told stop this. Ok. Stop caring. Stop being scared. I think I did that day. I think I hung on to the person he used to be and that’s why I held on so long. But when I stopped believing, the power over me was erased. It dissolved. But why hate me? Is that what it’s like when something ends? Does it have to end in hate? Or can it just be civil. But why? No. You know what. It wasn’t normal. I’m thinking in terms of normalcy. But it wasn’t. It was drug-fueled, alcohol fueled. Rage fueled. Psychopathy fuelled. Which sucks because it set a precedent. But I’m strong now. I take no bullshit. I don’t let things get to me. And now I am ok.
Fall 2016
I was home once from school, and I read an article from the POV of “the other woman” and I found out that she had a family that loved her, friends that cared for her, probably a cat she fed every night. So why did I hate her? I wanted to be her. Because she was enough for him. And I wasn’t. But what was so special about her? I kept asking myself, wondering. I even tried to convince myself once that, ok, maybe her being on the side won’t be too bad. But then I thought, wait, no. It’s not supposed to be like that. It’s just supposed to be me. I don’t even know where I’m going with this.
We were walking back to the train from Comic-Con and I saw a text from another girl calling him babe. And I just said “so Victoria calls you babe too?” But inside the Javits Center was like another world because he showed me attention, made me feel like his girlfriend. He told me he loved me a hundred times that day. And I told him “this is how I feel all the time when I’m with you” and he just said “really?”
Another time, I was sick, throwing up, from antibiotics from a UTI that HE gave me (the first of many because he lied about getting STD tested) and I went back to my dorm. And he made me take an Uber back instead of driving me and making sure I was ok. And he lied about going to work too that day. He really went to MC to “smoke a bong” but actually cheat on me. And I couldn’t even contact him because I left my phone at his house. I finally got in contact with him. And then he came and brought my phone back to me and he walked in and said “I realized that I am completely in love with you” and of course. That just made me feel like the most special person in the whole world. I swear. But then he was like I’m going to the city but I was still throwing up. So I couldn’t go. And he said I’m meeting ale there. He said I’m picking her up from the train and we’re taking my dads car around the city. And I wanted to go but I was afraid I would get sick and ruin it. But he went. And he said he would call me at 3 but he never called me. And then he came back and ignored me the whole time.
Once he asked me to go to an art show. And V and A were there, of course. And he actually let me look at the flier on his phone and I tried to scroll down but I didn’t realize it was just a screenshot and I swiped to a very very rude picture of a boy and girl. Sent to V. And I asked what was that and he told me he liked the colors. That’s why he sent it to her. The colors.
I think I am finally clean ✨
you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you bETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅
Fall afternoons just bring around a sense of guilt for me. Even though I’m doing wonderfully. I’m helping animals, which is my life’s goal. I have nothing to be ashamed for. But whenever I’m out late on a thursday morning, when everyone is at work or school, even though I have the day off, and as long as I do some kind of studying with my day, I should allow myself to sleep in and get brunch. And once in a while, I can waste the day, as long as I don’t waste every single day. Even writing this now is giving myself a sense of freedom.
why did my neighbors name their wifi network this
what’s the point of having a wifi network and not naming it something like this
Oh the fun you can have with network naming…
…
This is my joy.
This made me look at networks near me and:Â
Me n Ethan
SAME TBH
Abuser: yells at & insults you so ferociously that you’re cowering and sobbing
Abuser: Why are you crying? What did I do?
Why people get trapped by Emotional Abusers & Why it’s not their fault
(these apply to platonic and romantic relationships)
1. Attachment
The Emotional Abuser gives you attention: they make you feel flattered, loved and important. You start to believe that they genuinely care about you. They might even think that they do by themselves since they internally justify all their doings. Normally this kind of attachment would lead to a healthy bonding and a closer relationship. With the Emotional Abuser it leads to some levels of addiction and dependency on the victim’s part which is never their fault. Emotional Abuser’s behaviour exploits normal emotional bonding to another human being.
2. Guilt
In some point in the relationship you notice that it’s all about their needs. The Abuser might do something that hurts your feelings and bringing it up leads them to reason why it’s actually your fault and why you have to take responsibility for it. They make up convincing excuses why it’s not their job to do it, why it’s absolutely unreasonable of you to ask for it and so on. In other words: they Guilt-trip you. The Emotional Abuser believes they have no responsibility for their behaviour or feelings. If they feel uncomfortable by something in the relationship they will manipulate you to take the blame instead of trying to work things out. Guilt-tripping makes the victim submit and erodes their sense of emotional and physical boundaries since they are made to believe it’s their job to cater on Abuser’s needs.
3. Cognitive dissonance
After the idealization pace the Emotional Abuser will move to a devaluing pace. Catering to their needs is not enough anymore and you feel you can’t do anything right no matter what you do. The pace starts when the Abuser feels you are getting emotionally too close and/or you are trying to hold them accountable for something they have done. Emotional Abusers are afraid of responsibility and in some cases intimacy so they will try to push you away. They use manipulation: Gaslighting and Guilt-tripping to force you into silence and to take all the responsibility for the relationship. They give you Silent Treatment which is justified by some clever excuses. Emotional Abusers believe they are entitled to absolute emotional comfort even when it means abusing other people.
Because you remember how well they used to treat you, your mind has a hard time accepting they are not the person you thought they were. In fact you might start to make excuses for them in your head because they have manipulated you to think nothing is their fault. It is extremely difficult to get away from the Abuser’s emotional trap because they take advantage of the victim’s emotional bonding to them and give false hope that the relationship could be “fixed”. You are misled into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy” and “selfish”, the Abuser will reward you with the loving behaviour they demonstrated in the beginning.
Aftermath
The Emotional Abuser has no intention to take responsibility for what their abusive behaviour has caused you because they have normalized and justified it in their head. Not all of the Abusers are so sure of themselves but need a lot of internal convincing and validation from others so that they can feel good about themselves which is their goal: not having to deal with responsibility or emotional labour. After all Emotional Abusers are not Disney villains but people who are so selfish that they lack of motivation to learn how to not hurt people.
There are two ways how the trap can break: the victim quits all contact with the Abuser or the Abuser leaves the victim. The latter one occurs if the Emotional Abuser feels they have to deal with too much because of the victim. The Abuser might feel threatened by the victim if the victim is making the Abuser feel bad about themself by calling out their abusive behaviour. The Emotional Abuser thinks that they are actually the victim in the relationship because the real Victim is making them feel bad and scared. The Abuser is genuinely afraid that they would have to deal with negative emotions that taking responsibility would require.
In the end the Emotional Abuser ends the relationship with some dramatic note in which they project all their feelings into the victim: you are the abuser, you have harmed them, you have threatened them. This is their way of securing their own emotional well-being as they refuse to acknowledge the reality. Just remember that it was NOT your fault and you are not responsible for their horrible behaviour. While mutually harmful and violent relationships can exist abusive relationships are based on a power imbalance and therefore there is no such a thing as “mutually abusive”. You are nothing like your abuser.
