Trash God @prettiestsenpai - Tumblr Blog

varusteleka

sitting on and touching warm rocks…………. now thats the good stuff…….

diamondguls

Are you….. A reptile ?

nyanbinyuri

what are you a cop? mind your business

thegaymertrainer

Not lesbians this time but equally funny…

reneethecyborg

Parent: “Just to make sure I didn’t– I didn’t mishear what you said, what did you say I look like?”

Child: “A douche in that hat.”

Parent: [holding back laughter] “I– you said I look like a douche in this hat?”

Child: “Uh-huh.”

Parent: “A– a douche? You’re saying a douche?”

Child: “Yep.”

Parent: “Adley, what is a douche? What is– what are you talking about?”

Child: “It’s kind of– it’s– it’s kinda like a– a king, or something. He’s a king.”

Parent: “Like a king?”

Child: “Uh-huh.”

Parent: “You’re saying a king? A douche is like a king?”

Child: “Uh-huh.”

[long, bewildered silence]

Parent: “Do you mean a duke?”

Child: “Yep!”

Parent: “Okay. Thank you so much for the compliment, sweetie, um– but it is a duke. Look– look– look– look at me. A duke. Not a douche. Alright?”

Child: “A douche?”

Parent: [laughing] “No, no, not a douche. A duke!”

ratfuck

I wonder how ants think

ratfuck

(SENSORY INPUT: ANTENNAE) > FRIEND/FOE/FOOD? > FOE > KILL KILL DIE KILL

valtsv

"how do you know your friends don't secretly hate you/find you annoying" baby i've said things in discord servers that would make any other human being get a restraining order and move countries to never encounter my presence on this earth again, and they haven't even blocked me

valtsv

if my friends hated my guts they simply would not keysmash in response to some of the worst sentences ever put together by the human mind