Not Alma Bonnet

bi bitch. she/her, 30s, another hopelessly addicted ofmd and bloodweave fan. 🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈

[pretty-sick-actually]

Behold, my (Bloodweave) stuff!

Aka my favorite fics; first sorted by my heart, then alphabetized (As of August 5, 2025.)

My Absolute Loves

Anonymous XXX (E, 5k words)

Cured of his vampirism, Astarion reclaims his sexuality with anonymous encounters. One encounter changes everything he thought he wanted.

Calm His Sea (E, 37k words)

Gale and Shadowheart witness what they think is Astarion's death during the battle of the Netherbrain. What if it's not a death? What if life just...begins again?

Have We Met? (M, 10k words)

Gale sacrifices his memory to save them during the final fight. What happens when the love he doesn't remember shows up as his door?

Honorable Mentions

The Chain (Series) (3 works, 6k words total, complete)

At a pivotal moment, Gale and Astarion choose separate paths. Now Gale will do anything to fix it.

Don't You Know in Your Heart (M, 3k words)

In the aftermath of a breakup, Gale learns he has a soulmate in the worst possible way.

I Don't Want What You Have, I Want to be You (E, 4k words)

"Beware the Ides of March." As they rehearsed Julius Caesar by Shakespeare, Gale wonders if the warning also applies to Astarion.

Midnight Swim (E, 3k words) My first fanfic and still my most popular!

Gale sees his hot neighbor swim in the nude. And then it keeps happening.

Oh, You're a Deeply Unserious Person

Gotta Get Flavours, Sweet In My Mouth (E, 2k words)

Gale and Astarion turn lemons into lemonade, so to speak.

Make Me Your One And Only (M, 3k words)

The group stumbled upon a karaoke night after defeating the brain. What if Gale told Astarion how he felt through songs?

Pricks (E, 4 works, 4k words total, complete (for now...))

A poor tattoo artist suffers as he comes across multiple Gales and Astarions in his life

What's Good for the Goose (E, 1k words)

Astarion is bored at a restaurant. Gale humors him.

Bonus: Girl What is Wrong With You?

The Dead Three's B-Squad (T, 676 words)

The Netherbrain has one last challenge for the heroes.

Honestly, it was so hard to not include more fics (I do love what I've written), but I made myself stop at a certain point since it's getting intense. You can find me on AO3!

[februarytrash]

being sad and horny is a privilege

[luguuuu]

i’m having an edging party but none of you can come

[stonelionhearts]

sometimes i wonder if we have forgotten that sharing creative work is, fundamentally, a bid for human connection. like I'm not posting art or fic for 'engagement' i'm posting it looking for other sickos to play with! i'd be making it anyway for my own gratification because there's something wrong with me, i'm sharing it hoping we can have something wrong with us together <3

[faejayy]

finally watched our flag means death. doodled this between seasons so it does not quite fit my current mood but nevertheless

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[stealingpotatoes]

i don't know what older adults were on about when they said being a teenager was good <3

[thirstkanaphan]

[thirstkanaphan]

[shaneposting]

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

[lahiah]

beam me up scotty (beam me up inside) can’t beam up (beam me up inside)

[mangled-by-disuse]

in happier pride news i actually found this deeply heartwarming

that's solidarity baybeeee

[lgbtlaughs]

Further context: Durham city council (Reform UK) cut funding and support for Pride. The Durham Miner's Association and other trade unions raised enough money for Durham Pride 2026 to go ahead - a direct call back to when Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) raised money for mining communities when Margaret Thatcher seized union funding during the miner strikes of 1984-85.

At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.

Stephen Guy, the chair of the Durham Miners’ Association, said that when it became apparent Durham Pride was under threat, he took it upon himself to “encourage the trade union movement to step up and do the right thing, and stand shoulder to shoulder with the LGBT+ community […] They not only raised funds for us, but came to our communities, uplifted our spirits when they were down, and showed their solidarity.”

[i-really-like-plants]

My mom sent me this jeopardy question, apparently nobody got it right 😭😭😭😭

[patheticfangirl]

I don't know if anyone wants them, but my old men are back.

Cazador 2.0: A Love Story on AO3.

[pretty-sick-actually]

I Thought I Was Someone Else

What are you talking about, the chapter count totally didn't increase.

It definitely did. But I swear it will only be one more chapter!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/77668261/chapters/227105981

I don't know why the linker sucks ass again. Oh well.

[googoogojob]

My contribution to this year's gentlbeard calendar for June. Posting now bc it's June..

[mermaidinn]

silly little final mermay thingy 🌊🧜‍♂️💗⛓️‍💥