To The Dumb Bitches Reading This 🫶

I

[depsidase]

[do-not-u-dare]

Stole this from somewhere but i think it’s appropriate

[depsidase]

[dogpuppy]

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[dogpuppy]

[girlballs-archive]

captain picker isgonna finger himself

[girlballs-archive]

his wife is. 44 years old.

[despazito]

The fucking that old man website when someone actually fucks that old man

[the-unnecessary-commentary]

[alexandersfolly]

Tumblr is stuffed to the brim with 18-25 year olds who talk endlessly about being a hole for old men and have a heart attack the second a consenting adult is in a relationship with an old man

[dogpuppy]

[targetedknowledge]

[monarcho-mysticism]

[hellsite-yano]

[nealashitposts]

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

[janedrewfinally]

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

[lhavdil]

a hometown is a type of dead wife

[lhavdil]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[lakevida]

i went to navy pier as a child and clowns took my father away and built a table out of him with three other dads and i always thought this was some unpleasant and vivid dream and i mentioned it to my mom one day a couple years ago and she was like Yaa when we went to chicago they made him do chair tricks with other men

they did this to him

[buttastic]

feeling like I am perhaps downwind from an argument my brother in law is having with his fiancée about wedding planning

[emil]

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

[emil]

peggle make phone calls

[orteil42]

utterly delightful family of words and things