I ain't shit, yet. @prettymuchwackdick - Tumblr Blog

You have to remember it forever

My father made me coffee every morning and put anger instead of sugar.

He had been a man of few words- never said he loved me and even his happiness was full of rage. Every night, he'd watch some game on the telly and talk about the stock market and bonds and things I never understood. I remember when the newspaper began to publish my articles, he barely read them and gave me a nod as if to show his acknowledgement. One day, I looked into his drawer to find some batteries and noticed a stack of newspaper cuttings, articles and poems and photographs, all of my work- the borders cut with such tenderness and care, I couldn't believe his hands could be so gentle.

My father carved me from his thigh and watered me with his blood and wondered where my rage came from. My father loved me in silence and wondered why I couldn't listen.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

valtsv

puffsaddy

she buying you the cologne that her ex used to wear and telling you “it smells good on you”.

sonoanthony

Low-key she wants him back cus she was the one that fucked up

puffsaddy

she turning you into him.. she told you that you should grow your hair out.. now yall got the same cut you tell your mom she’s making you better.

sonoanthony

You call her “princess” and “baby girl” because she told you she liked those pet names, but that’s what he called her while they fucked, she gets butterflies at the memories

puffsaddy

she signed you up for the gym.. you ain’t even know you was that skinny.. she says you’re not skinny she just wants you “healthier”..you thinking about it at work while you take a bite of the cantaloupe she packed your lunch with.

sonoanthony

Ya both chilling on the couch, in the evening, watching one of her favorite films she used to watch with him, her phones vibrates, it’s a text from a contact “I’m sorry 😔🤕”, it says “I thought of you today” ya both see it. You noticed she smirks a little but then throws her phone on the couch like she doesn’t care. Every 10 secs she looks at her phone, she says she needs to use the bathroom. Before she leaves she grabs her phone

puffsaddy

you don’t think nothing of it because that’s your baby.. and you trust her..you go to thanksgiving with her family this year.. her uncle keep calling you Marcus.. you try not to let it get to you so you go play with the kids..her cousins telling you that you were more fun last time… that’s the first time y'all ever met tho.

sonoanthony

That lowkey gets to you, almost shed a tear so you go outside to the porch for some air. Her father is outside on the chair, you sit next to him. He starts telling you about Marcus. Says how his daughter never been happier than when she was with him, she never loved somebody so much…. He points to a house in the distance, says “he lives there, by himself, his parents died and left him the house” the lights are on, you didn’t know he lived down the block, it’s a big thanks giving party, you haven’t seen your “princess” in 20 minutes. It’s not that big of a house

puffsaddy

you go in to grab your jacket so you can check it out… her aunt comes in as you walk out and says “Marcus you don’t look so good.. you haven’t been eating?” ya nose start running.

sonoanthony

You don’t reply, you keep walking to the house you get close hear some whispers, the lights turn off. Then you hear the back entrance slam you see a dark figure, about as tall as your “baby girl” run you can’t catch the person’s face though, it’s dark. You try to follow but can’t catch them. It was rainy that day. You go back to the house, find your girl. She’s breathing heavy, asks you where you been. You noticed she changed her shoes. You pull her to the room, say ya need to talk. Ya sit down in the bed. You notice the shoes she was wearing in the corner, they have mud on them.

puffsaddy

your heart beating hella fast.. just as yall sit down you hear an eruption of joy from the kids “THE REAL MARCUS!” you stressed..ya ligaments get weak.. you manage to walk out the room so you can see him..he look like the updated version of you..he DirecTV.. you’re basic cable.. you throw up the food her mom put on your plate.. you don’t care that much tho because she said she made it “just like last time”.

sonoanthony

Her mother throws you a thin ass napkin to clean it and goes back to talking to Marcus. nobody is paying attention to you now not even your girl. the napkin is not thick enough you get your hands dirty. You go to the bathroom to clean up, it’s upstairs. Your knees still feel weak you almost fall you sit down in the toilet you crying at this point your nose starts running again. You pull out a picture of her out your wallet, you try to look at it but the tears don’t let you. Your girl knocks on the door you hear some giggling. You open and it’s your girl and Marcus right behind her, she looks surprised it’s you. She then tells you she was just showing him the way to the bathroom. Marcus has slept over a few times, he knows exactly where the bathroom was.

puffsaddy

you get mad now.. he’s disrespecting you.. you get up and get ready to swing on him.. right before you do you smell his cologne.. tears start pouring down your face you just wanna lay down now.. you try to leave.. she grabs you like “wait”.. he says “princess just let him be”… you think to yourself. “..princess?”

sonoanthony

That’s the last straw. That was unnecessary you turn around and swings at his face but Marcus boxed for 8 years. His reflexes don’t play, he ducks, and jabs you in the stomach one time. That’s all that was needed you drop, your princess…. Well, his princess by now, yells at the moment of impact. You on the floor you can’t breathe you thinking about the time spent at the gym did not help, you think of going tomorrow to cancel your membership. Everyone is upstairs by now asking what happened. Marcus just says that he should leave. Your girl tells him that she’ll walk him to the door, she walks all the way home with him. You laying down on her bed for a little bit. You fall asleep. Wake up 10 minutes later, your girl not back. It’s 11:54pm by now. Everyone almost left. You the only person that don’t belong there.

puffsaddy

you go to the bathroom to watch yourself cry.. you talking to yourself now..“i thought i was the prince” you shake your head “im just a damn jester” you get your things ready to go.. you got manners so you tell everyone bye… her uncle in a wheelchair says “come back soon Marcus”.. you kick his wheelchair.

sonoanthony

3 years later you got a promotion at work you making ok money now enough to move out your mom’s house. You go home and get on Facebook to post about your accomplishment. You still friends with her sister. She posts how her sister is getting married, you comment on her post" tell her i said congratulations" her sister replies “?” You embarrassed. Delete ya comment. You scoop around. It’s with Marcus. You feel ya stomach in ya throat. You pull out a box from under ya bed. Take out the cologne she gave you. You know why now. You spray it on you, sobbing. You sigh “I could’ve been your Marcus”.

puffsaddy

you end up living a lonely life.. happiness always seems like it’s around the corner.. but you can never reach it.. you get a dog.. she runs away.. you went and got a goldfish..“goldfish can’t leave me” you think.. you came home one day and your goldfish drowned.. you didn’t even know that shit was possible.. you sad forever.. moral of the story is: don’t let women pick your cologne.

sonoanthony

The end

nostradickmus

Why y'all do this fictional character like that?

deuce45

Nigga. I read this whole thing, first off beautifully told. Secondly, never let her pick your cologne major key. Glad pops told me that one, third of all..be wary when a woman comes at you with a lot of changes. Some women like upgrading and some like repeating ya dig?

sloth-is-the-only-way

They forgot about the part were you finally lose your shit and murder the bitch and Marcus at there wedding, killing anyone and everyone else until the police show up. Of course they’re already too late, the damage is done. You killed most of them. You then sit down. And finally let go of your final tears before pressing the gun to your temple, smiling as you pull the trigger. Finally free from your loneliness

puffsaddy

tinasnowz

MEGAN THEE STALLION — on set of her HIGHSNOBIETY shoot (2022)

capacity

kingjaffejoffer

I play video games like an old person now 😞

So I've been a casual-to-good gamer for most of my life but I stopped in 2017 to focus more on my career. To be good at any multi-player online game you have to invest so much time, and if I did that my career would 100% suffer. And I don't like losing at anything, so I've mostly confined myself to single player campaign games.

Anyway, here we are 5 years later. Financially better, happy and drama free, I have over a month of PTO saved up. So I'm like aight fuck it imma start playing video games again.

A lot has changed in 5 years so I decided to start with the switch, it's portable, casual, has familiar titles from my childhood. Plus the PS5 is still relatively hard to find (I do not fuck with Xbox).

So I buy the switch and start with Mario Kart, got bored of it in two weeks. It was always a repetitive title and the gameplay was never deep. Fine.

So I pick up Smash Bros Ultimate, keep in mind I've never played any of previous versions so I'm not familiar with how the fighting system works.

So I start watching these instructional gameplay videos on YouTube.

Then I start watching Smash Bros tournaments to see what the best players look like to pick up on strategies.

Then I start reading articles on the best characters and their strengths etc.

At this point I'd invested hours and hours just RESEARCHING this game and like 30 mins of actually playing it.

It wasn't until that moment I'd realize how much I've changed. Approaching video games like an adult who has been beaten over the head with responsibility and processes and risk management and ultimately knowing the the only way to prevent a maximum waste of time is to learn the rules fully before I start playing even though it wouldn't be the quickest path.

That's how old people behave

Me and my friends used to spend hours playing street fighter and learning all of the moves by trying different button combinations. That was part of the fun, discovering shit on your own.

I don't have time to just be aimlessly discovering shit anymore.

I have zero sense of adventure right now

kingjaffejoffer

The crazy part of people accusing me of lying or being insincere so often is that my life is 90% boring as fuck 😂😂😂

I'm not one of those people that's always traveling, showing off all the high status or fancier shit. I'm not a flashy person. There are a million people like this. The fake vegans, the fake gurus, the scammers.

Niggas look up to people like that. They have huge followings.

And then you have me. Who has actively AVOIDED attention and notoriety for a decade right before your eyes.

I'm a super regular ass nigga who reads a lot and did well for himself in life.

"you capping"

"fake deep"

Huhhh? Lol.

Yall seriously overestimate the effort I'm willing to go through to impress people. If I was gonna waste time lying to the internet I'd make up a better life than the one I have that's for damn sure.

I promise you there are really niggas like this. It's me, I'm niggas.