It wasn’t some edge of disappointed, that tactless speech one’s parents would bestow on a child to make them feel small. It was a twinge of annoyance that it didn’t come from him. A flicker of guilt—as though he might’ve not trusted her with the information. And that struck Marlene, as it laid heavily on her mind. She tried running through the reasons. Maybe he didn’t think she was good enough. Hell, maybe she wasn’t. Marlene doubting herself wasn’t new—it wasn’t vocal, either, but it wasn’t new.
There was an inkling of narrowed hues that fell to the student trying to hook up with Gideon—wasn’t it clear she snatched him, quite literally—as she turned. His comments only turned the corners of her lips. “You answer wrong and you might just found out what other charms I’m really good at, love.” She retorted back, a cocked brow matching a sweet smile, peeled back, bright expression.
Brows raised, a split moment of being annoyed enough to cross her arms once the lasso was re-attached. “Watch what you say about her, Gideon, I’ve no issue giving you a leg-locking curse and watching you try to use that scarf to balance yourself.” She flicked the fabric with an extended finger, before moving back to cross her arms against her chest. That night, not nearly as drunk as the others. Sober to know no one could overhear, tipsy enough to feel the heat rise to her cheeks as she looked up at him.
“Gideon, I know you’re trying to be funny, but I’m not laughing.” She spoke, tone unnerved, as she clenched her jaw. Even if she tugged him to a safer spot, secluded enough to talk but not as openly as she wanted. His long and lanky form towered over her own, as teeth sunk down into her bottom lip for a moment. Arms crossed, gaze dropped, slowly to move around the space, making sure no one was eavesdropping, before settling back, locking with his.
“Why didn’t you, don’t you think I’m good enough? What is it, am I not a good enough witch to you to qualify?” The words spilled out before she could stop them, a penchant act of her intoxication, as she squeezed her eyes shut. Turning her head away for a moment, looking back again. Surely, it looked like something. Searching for something, she expelled a sharp breath. “Don’t answer that.” For someone already in, already doing something, it would’ve been more damaging to think she might’ve not been even worthy of the chance.
“If we’re mates, I don’t want to find out things from Lily.” She paused. “At some point you have to be able to trust that you and I share similar views on things like this.” Licking her lips slowly, shaking out the amassed curls to go with her costume. Her stance closed off—a blame of alcohol, eyes narrowed for a moment, a huff fell from her lips. “You stand any closer, Prewett, and Skeeter will have something to talk about in that bloody paper she hands out to everyone.” She whispered, a lop-sided grin slowly edging forward. “You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
Gideon raised his arms up in surrender and took a few steps back, he knew better than to piss off Marlene, further than she already was. He had let her talk without any interruptions, a life growing up next to Molly taught him that women do not like it when they are interrupted, and he valued his life -realistically it would be his face what suffered- more than anything, so for a while all he did was give Marlene a chance to let it all out, he took a hint and stepped away from her, giving her as much space as she needed.
It was clear that she was not in mood for his antics, whether it was his jokes or flirty advances, and while it took Gideon a bit to understand why it was such a big deal for Marlene that he had not told her about The Order, when it finally dawned on him it was looking in a mirror. He more than anyone understood what it meant to feel like not being enough, and could not honestly believe that Marlene would think he was in any position to judge anyone’s abilities, but he didn’t mention that right away, instead he just looked at her and tried to find the right words. There was so much he wanted to say, and yet worried that he might not know how and end up making things worse.
❝You I really meant what I said about Lily❞ Gideon decided to start by what was easier to address, ❝I love her as if she was my sister, and I’ll die before I let anything happen to her... if you can’t believe anything else I said or am about to say... please at least believe that...❞ he said with smile looking at the ground. And that had been the easiest part? He took a deep breath before venturing into the next thing.
❝I was going to tell you❞ Gideon said one more time, ❝I really was, you have to believe me, I-❞ he shook his head, ❝I do trust you Marlene, and I was going to tell you before I even considered telling Lily❞ he didn’t know why but it was true, what did that say about him? That he cared more about Lily’s safety than Marlene’s? If it was up to him he wouldn’t want to have Lily involved, no matter how bright and skilled she was, if there was someone with future it was Lily. Not that Marlene didn’t have a future, but he could see it in her eyes, the same longing in his, the need of having something bigger than themselves to be a part of, a chance to prove everyone around them wrong.
❝That night when we were in the kitchens I-❞ he had been determined to tell her about it, but in the end he had been a coward, ❝but, and I know it might be hard to believe, I sometimes do listen to my brother... my annoying wiser older brother...❞ Gideon shook his head, ❝he has always said that whoever we bring in... that what happens to them... well it’s gonna be on us❞ he bit the inside of his cheek, ❝and I guess in that moment it was real you know, I- I knew you would say yes, and even if it was your choice to fight... I-❞ he shrugged, this was war and it had already came for them, who was he to deny anyone the right to fight, ❝I’m sorry... and if it’s any consolation we only told Lily ‘cause she walked in on us arguing about, well this exactly, bringing more people in, being more active... trust me I would’ve told you in a couple of days if I had gotten the chance...❞ Gideon took a tentative step towards Marlene, ❝Mars I am glad she told you, because well it’s clear that whatever is happening out there has finally reached us here... and I’ll be honored to fight by your side... we good?❞